A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I had our baby 5 months ago. During my pregnancy, I was on serious bed rest, and meds, for 3 months, then after, I had to recover from Caesarean for another few months. I was approx 110lbs when I got pregnant, and gained quite a bit of weight due to pregnancy, and complications. No diabetes, blood pressure probs, or any of that.When I was my true weight, my husband always told me how beautiful I was, and bought me clothes.Since I've had the baby, he is constantly ogling, and commenting on other women, thier beauty, bodies, and clothes. I'm getting to the point I can't take it anymore. He also constantly criticizes my body, and counts the calories in my food, and heckles me about my weight everytime I eat. Please, no health/weight tips needed here; I DO exercise and eat in moderation, and the weight IS coming off. I just wish I could get this crap off me lots faster. I had an eating disorder when I was younger, and his attitude makes me want to go right back to it. I hate having to eat at all, and hate my stomach everytime it is hungry. I feel this body is a foreign object, not of me, and needs to go away. I am really starting to loathe this body. He once told me no one wants a balloon. I used to love going places with him, but now, he keeps commenting on other women, and sometimes TO them. He says he is not a cheater, but I feel like shit. I feel smaller than a micron when he is going on to some woman about her clothes, body, beauty when I am RIGHT THERE.He is naturally VERY skinny, and of course does not know how pregancy changes everything about your body. I wish to god I had been one of those women who are skinny everywhere but the bump during pregnancy. I adore my baby, but not this thing I have been left with for a physical self after the needed Caesarean. What the hell do I do about this; I am in so much pain, and so angry!
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female
reader, Ally123 +, writes (2 August 2012):
That is abusive. I cant believe you are worried about losing weight because of the way your husband makes you feel. Losing weight after pregnancy takes time. Its not something to wprry about. It will come off evenrually. Your husbands behavior is very disturbibg to me. That is emotional abuse. I assume he knows you have had an eating disorder before and he still acts this way? Whether he knew or not it is still abusive. My husband was teasing me the other day because my boobs are so big right now. I was furious he even commented. Pregnant women are the most beautiful women in the world and so are our bodies afterwards. I put a stop to it. He got the point. I dont think you can do anything about your husbands behavior. Its beyond rude. Its cruel and sick. He is intentionally trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Dont ever go back to an eating disorder. Thats weakness. Strong women are proud of their bodies and dont let men put them down. I hate to be so strong but I dont think you should stay with him. If he is abusive in this way who is to say he wont keep putting you down? He may start to exhibit controlling behavior, & tearing away at your spirit?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 July 2012):
 IT took you 9 months to grow that lovely baby and it will take you nearly a year to get back to a body you will accept. Your body will never be the same.
I'm not sure what planet your husband is from thinking you carried his precious child in a shopping bag and all would be the same as it was before. He sounds like a jerk to be honest.
I would not go out with him either. He needs to get a grip on life with a baby...
and I hope and pray that he's under 40 and when he hits middle age his body will rebel on him too... my guy is 39 and in the last year his naturally thin body has opted to gain 30 pounds... he's got quite the belly on him now... and I hope this happens to your husband... then you can just laugh at him... as he tries to figure out what to change in his life to take off the weight...
I want to smack that man for you...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Your husband in as insensitive ass! That is as nicely as I can put it.
And you will get back to a weight YOU feel comfortable with, "baby-fat" is not forever, however I'm doubting your husband will lose his PICK attitude.
And I will third that you print you the letter and give it to your husband. What did he think would happen to your body during pregnancy? That you would just pop out a happy healthy baby and be back to your pre-baby body 10 minutes later?
I'm sorry I would not want to go out with him either.
I hope he get that stick out of his bum and starts treating you like he ought to.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 July 2012):
 I wholeheartedly agree with Aunty BimBim. Print off this letter and share it with your doctor as well as your husband. I think that will give you the best possible way to deal with your anger and your pain. You are hurting and deserve to be heard.
Best wishes.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 July 2012):
 Print off your letter here and take it, and him, to your doctor. Give your letter to your doctor and let him deal with your insensitive prick of a husband.
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A
female
reader, kaiti30 +, writes (16 July 2012):
 Well for one, dont feel bad about your body, it was the home of YOUR baby, you grew it right there, it sahould be a beautiful thing! but i do understand wnating to get the weight off and its good your tring! baby weight is one of the harests to loose, but to the point with your man, have you tried telling him how it makes you feel? and that your trying to get off? if hes acting like that why not you do it? a real man would see your innner beauty and ecspecially that after having his child, i would talk to him about it annd tell him your trying, and that if your best isnt good enough you may need a little of a break, or when he insults yuou insult him back! there is no excuse for him to be acting like a 12 yeyar old... good luck please keep me uppdated!
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