Fiance owes too much money to ex and expects me to pay. How much is too much?
Q. Problems..... My fiancee (50) has just been served with a bill of $30,000 that he owed his ex on their divorce some 9 years ago. Due to ill health and circumstances he has not paid her and now she is peruing it.Their son of 15, visits in holidays ...
A. 27 June 2012: A further $10,000 in debt since you first posted your question here, thats just under $1,000 a week .... is he really worth that much to you, do you get $1,000 worth of enjoyment, satisfaction, quality of life from this man that you are willing to ... (read in full...)
Really unhappy in this relationship, is it just me? Or is he actually treating me badly?
Q. So ive been with my current bf a year and this is my first serious relationship and we live together. He however is a divorcee who has been in several committed realtionships. (He is a decade older than me.) Ive been seriously debating whether...
A. 16 April 2012: Go home, ask your parents if you can move back home until you get back on your feet with a job etc.
I agree you do seem to have moved in with him before waiting to see what sort of man he is, you should pack up your stuff and leave him to his o... (read in full...)
What can I do to make him see my hurt?
Q. Being in a relationship or a companionship with a man for three years, this last year he has pulled away from me, no dates, no making time for me, if there is a argument, he talks about ending it, that it to much work, he doesnt treat me like his ...
A. 16 April 2012: Horrible man. He recognises you are in a position of uncertainty and is using that to keep you cowered.
If he doesnt do dates, if he doesn't make time for you, but says the sex is good, it would seem that is all he is there for, the sex.
... (read in full...)
What is the best way to get divorce without a lawyer?
Q. I can’t take my husband anymore he uses my parents as a tool. Anytime he wants to hurt me he disrespects them, not in front of them. I talked to him tonight and said that I will leave he said that is fine and do whatever you want. He doesn’t think ...
A. 16 April 2012: I did what you did, just picked up what I could, plus the three kids, two cats and a dog. With hindsight I wish I had been more proactive in gaining some financial recompense for the time and effort I had put into the marriage.
As a minimum ... (read in full...)
I usually have high standards, so why am I into this average looking girl?
Q. Usually I have very high standards (it takes a fair amount of beauty to get a 8-10 mental rating from me), but I have recently met this girl who I would have never looked twice at in the street and I don't know why I am so taken with her...?...
A. 15 April 2012: Maybe her beauty isnt in her skin, as you have probably heard a thousand times if not once, beauty is only skin deep. Maybe this girl has other qualities, like a personality, a quick wit, is interesting to talk to, maybe she can make you laugh, ... (read in full...)
Am I right to feel upset with my 'cousin'?
Q. Why is she behaving this way? I'm I right to feel upset? My dads distance relative. I call her my cousin. We were really close when we were young. But now were all grown ups now and were not close anymore. We hardly ever talk. I told one of o...
A. 13 April 2012: You dont have to serve her guests, so stop worrying about that.
As for the family ties, maybe she doesnt see distant relationships as cousins, I know a lot of people who dont bother with the second cousin, third cousin etc labels.
People do gro... (read in full...)
How can I get my daughter's BF to move out?
Q. My daughter is 18 and her boyfriend is 23. He has had many problems and it resulted in a felony when he was only 19 or 20. They had their own place and recently we all moved in together. He doesn't work and she pays for everything. He seems to think ...
A. 13 April 2012: I can understand the resentment, I know I would be feeling pretty much the same as you are.
Your daughter is not going to be happy. My gut tells me that she is going to chose to live with him rather than live with you.
You may have to let that... (read in full...)
How can I protect my sister from her 40 year old boyfriend?
Q. 1.) My sister's boyfriend is 40+ years old and i think he is racist because of the way he interacts with other people including us. btw my sister is only 26. (the guy is british, my sister is filipina), my sister claims that he loves the guy. 2.) ...
A. 13 April 2012: Why didnt you mention the insurance in your original letter?
Have you talked to your sister? What does she say?
... (read in full...)
I want to kiss my gay male friend but I'm unsure how to, or if I should even do it?
Q. Hi everyone I would really appreciate some assistance with a problem. I also would like serious help here - it might not seem like a big deal to you, but to me its been on my mind. Right, here we go ;) I have this gay best friend and we c...
A. 12 April 2012: I feel the need to add something, as your comment that you are adult about kisses and realise they are not contracts suggests you are in this for the big passionate stars in the sky and fireworks in the regions of the heart moment.
There is this:... (read in full...)
She has thin hair and I'm worried that she might go bald!
Q. So I've been dating this lovely girl for 2 months now. she's so wonderful and i absolutely adore her. But there's one small,superficial issue that i hate myself for caring so much about. The girl's got some thin hair and i can see some of her ...
A. 12 April 2012: Wigs! or she can show of the lovely shape of her head and shave what doesnt fall out, some men find that really sexy.
BUT, you are still young, if you believe the love you feel is going to grow stronger, and stronger, so that you are both together... (read in full...)
Fiance owes too much money to ex and expects me to pay. How much is too much?
Q. Problems..... My fiancee (50) has just been served with a bill of $30,000 that he owed his ex on their divorce some 9 years ago. Due to ill health and circumstances he has not paid her and now she is peruing it.Their son of 15, visits in holidays ...
A. 12 April 2012: Yes, you should tell him to get a job. This debt is not your debt, what makes him think you should pay for this on TOP OF PAYING FOR CHILD MAINTENANCE!! WHAT?
Tell him to go for a reassessment! Tell him to shape up or ship out!
You are being... (read in full...)
I want to kiss my gay male friend but I'm unsure how to, or if I should even do it?
Q. Hi everyone I would really appreciate some assistance with a problem. I also would like serious help here - it might not seem like a big deal to you, but to me its been on my mind. Right, here we go ;) I have this gay best friend and we c...
A. 12 April 2012: He's gay. What sort of kiss are you planning to plant on him, a big sloppy romantic smooch? It shouldn't be such a big deal, if you want to kiss him as a friend you kiss him in the same way you kiss all your friends, which for me, depending on ... (read in full...)
Should I press charges because she uploaded a photo of us on facebook?
Q. Hi. I'm new, here. Last week, I have had a photograph of me with a female friend. I thought she would NOT post the photograph on the internet. However, just yesterday, I check her Facebook, just to see her photo album, as she mentionned a nea...
A. 12 April 2012: You can ask her to remove the picture, I am not legally trained but I doubt you could sue over this, but you could have a lawyer send a firmly worded letter. Be aware if you start talking about violations of rights and threaten to sue her the ... (read in full...)
How can I permanently be with my lover?
Q. Ive been married for 22 years and got 3 kids (grown up now tho), ive been having an affair for the past 7 years with a man i love very very much, he is married and has 1 grown up daughter. We want to be together but we havent a clue what to do or ...
A. 12 April 2012: You are the one who wants out, so get out, leave your husband in his home where his name is on the rent books.
Laughing at you, incapable of supporting yourself having an affair with a man equally incapable of supporting himself and you want adv... (read in full...)
Everyone knows we will never get married except for my boyfriend!
Q. Can anyone help? To cut a long story short, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. 10 months ago he asked me to marry him but it turns out he just wanted a wife to live with and look after his parents. I told him I didn't want to get married...
A. 11 April 2012: Perhaps you haven't been clear enough and perhaps all the others who know it wont happen havent actually told him yet.
Have you tried telling him where YOU believe the relationship you have with him is going, marriage is often the logical ... (read in full...)
Will he ever change or should I just give up?
Q. my partner of 2.5 years and I booked a holiday recently, I previously took him away and paid for everything, he is non working and his mum always gives him money as he lies constantly to her to get her to feel sorry and give him funds. he is 40 and ...
A. 11 April 2012: Basically you are asking two seoarate questions
am i nuts...
will he ever change
Yes to the first question, no to the second.
You are the only person who can decide what to do here, you've written it all down, now go and write it again, but ... (read in full...)
Husband wants me to have sex with another man, but he doesn't want to watch, he just wants me to tell him about it. What is this called?
Q. Can someone please tell me... " my husband wants me to have sex with another man, he does not want to watch but he wants me to tell him about it" What is this called? ...
A. 10 April 2012: Your having sex with another man will effectively give him permission to have sex with another woman without guilt, he will be able to point the finger and say "you did it, so why can't I?"
... (read in full...)
Only been together 4 days but I think he doesn't like me anymore! Help!
Q. Well I am only 13 but my boyfriend and I have only been together for 4 days and I feel like he doesn't like me any more, he doesn't reply to my text's and when he does he just put's like 'k' or 'what'. When I say to him I love him he just put's back ...
A. 10 April 2012: 4 days is a bit too soon to be telling somebody you love them. Maybe he replies with a hahahaha or a lol because he doesnt know what else to say.
I would try backing off a bit, stop expecting too much too soon from this relationship, stop wit... (read in full...)
Married teacher is always staring at me....what should I think?
Q. OMG, I just can't figure what's going on? (my male teacher) He's married and he's 32-33 - ALWAYS stares ONLY at me in class for so long and sometimes I look back, but he doesn't turn away and stares deeper in my eyes, so I instinctively felt that he ...
A. 10 April 2012: Could it be possible he is trying to stare you into doing your school work?
... (read in full...)
She was a virgin when she met me but had dated a guy before me, I get so jealous because of this! Am I wrong? What should I do?
Q. I'm 5 years of marriage and i am my wife's first man, she was virgin before me i wasn't. The fact is she used to date a guy by distance and we have a lovely friend who is this guy parent! I get jealous everytime we have to go to a child party or to ...
A. 10 April 2012: Your jealousy is way out of line, it would be difficult for a sane person to put themselves in your shoes to understand because how you feel is just, so not normal!
Why dont you trust her, what has she ever done, to deserve your mistrust. Why is ... (read in full...)
He comes to my place, eats, uses utilities but says I am ungrateful for not paying when we go out!
Q. My boyfriend stays over at my house over the weekend. I recently found out that he thinks i am being ungrateful because he pays for dinner and i dont offer any money to put to it. This is because he tells me it is on him or he'll buy dinner. Money ...
A. 9 April 2012: How did you find out he thinks you are ungrateful, did he tell you, or did somebody else?
If he told you then you need to let him know he has a choice, he can continue to visit you at your house every weekend, and you will pay for the water, e... (read in full...)
He doesn't want me for anything other than sex. How do I end things gently?
Q. Hi everyone I really need help with this situation I have been sleeping with a man for over a year now I really like him he told me we were just taking things slowly but now I finally aksed him what was going on with us he said it is just sex so I ...
A. 9 April 2012: I am also asking why are you wanting to end this gently.
I also don't understand why you want to remain in contact with somebody who used you as a convenient hole to stick his penis in when he needed sexual relief.
This person is taking up spa... (read in full...)
How do you end things when the other person is ignoring you?
Q. Last August my boyfriend of 5 years just uppin left me .. 3 days later I got a text message saying he was moving out and we were done. Then 3 days after that he was seen with a new girl at work. That ended about a month later. And we started talking ...
A. 9 April 2012: I wouldn't even bother texting him, just get any stuff that might be at his place, and then block his number, block him on facebook, don't answer the door if he comes a knocking, don't answer the phone, if you live with family ask them to give non ... (read in full...)
How can I protect my sister from her 40 year old boyfriend?
Q. 1.) My sister's boyfriend is 40+ years old and i think he is racist because of the way he interacts with other people including us. btw my sister is only 26. (the guy is british, my sister is filipina), my sister claims that he loves the guy. 2.) ...
A. 8 April 2012: While I acknowledge the concern and fear you hold for your sister there is not much you can do to protect her.
Just make sure she never loses contact with you and the rest of her family and friends, and be there when the crunch comes, I am sure ... (read in full...)
Should you email them back when they email you?
Q. Online dating..If someone you have been emailing seldom comes on the site and you have exchanged like 4 to 5 emails between each other. Should you email them back the next time they email you? They have mentioned they would like to get to know you...
A. 8 April 2012: If they have mentioned they would like to meet up, and you would like to meet up, you and he need to negotiate a time and place.
If they only want to get to know you better ask them how they prefer to do this, with each asking the other 20 quest... (read in full...)
How can I permanently be with my lover?
Q. Ive been married for 22 years and got 3 kids (grown up now tho), ive been having an affair for the past 7 years with a man i love very very much, he is married and has 1 grown up daughter. We want to be together but we havent a clue what to do or ...
A. 8 April 2012: What do you mean neither of you know how to go about being together? You pack your bag and you tell your husband you are leaving. And then you leave.
He packs his bag and tells his wife he is leaving.
And then he leaves.
And then you both... (read in full...)
Should I try to date this gym rat who reminds me of my ex husband?
Q. I met a new guy and he says he is falling for me - I am uncomfy with that. I have just started dating again after taking almost three years off after a BAD relationship. The new guy tells me how he is falling for me and that he can see us together ...
A. 8 April 2012: One week only and he is planning a future together while you feel claustrophobic.
Its all too much too soon. Listen to your gut. Consider how many ways he reminds you of your ex husband, is it just physical or is it attitudes as well.
I wo... (read in full...)
My husband's temper is destroying me and our marriage!
Q. I feel absolutely trapped in a relationship that is tearing my self esteem apart. I've been with my husband for 7 years. I've always known he was opinionated and a bit hotheaded. At times he borders on being verbally abusive when he's mad. Then ...
A. 8 April 2012: We are so lucky in Australia with Centrelink and other help that is available to us. However, before you decide to go down that road see if there is some counselling available for you. If you are not in a city or large town there are always the ... (read in full...)
What do I do about an ex friend who doesn't take the hint that I don't want to be friends anymore?
Q. Hi everyone. I don't even know how to ask this, so i'll just start here. I had a friend (female) who was incredibly mean and rude to me. She hated my boyfriend and got mad at everything I've done. I've actually posted about her twice on here before. ...
A. 8 April 2012: I would normally advocate the 'just ignore and she will go away'oach but as you've already tried this and she is still texting what about simply blocking her number?
If she finds alternate ways to spew her insults after that, threaten with leg... (read in full...)
Anyone with UK experience on child visitation and the courts?
Q. I need some advice from anyone in the uk that has ever had to go to court so their ex can see their child. I have never stopped my ex seeing my son yet he is taking me to court for access. He wants to have my son from Fri to Sunday every alternat...
A. 8 April 2012: I am not in the UK but Aust law based on UK system.
It sounds to me as if somebody has been giving him advise, maybe there is a new woman on the scene, who fancies playing mummy.
If you can remember dates when you have arranged for you... (read in full...)
Neighbor wants more than I am willing to give
Q. Hey agony aunts! I met this guy a month and a half ago, he lives in my apartment complex. I thought he was very good looking and at first he seemed like a good guy. The first time he started talking to me outside we talked for 2 or 3 hours in th...
A. 6 April 2012: If you really dont want to have sex with him, avoid being in confined spaces alone with him, especially dont go into his apartment and dont invite him into yours.
... (read in full...)
My Aunty pays enough, they shouldn't demand more of her, what do you think?
Q. Should my aunt have to pay any money to her fella? Ok would just like some opinions on this please. My aunt was living with her ex for 8 years. When they split up her ex kept on the rent of the house and they had taken a loan out which was i...
A. 6 April 2012: Your aunt and Alex are both able to take advice from family and friends but when it comes to tin tacks they are the only ones who can decide what works for them. If Alex is accusing your aunt of not contributing they need to sit down and discuss ... (read in full...)
He does not want to get married!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 3 years and we have a 19 month old son together. I never really was bothered about getting engaged and married till a few months after I had my son. I take him to appointments and we don't even have the same last nam...
A. 6 April 2012: Okay, my previous response was the emotional response.
He is mean for telling you he had prepared to propose on your birthday, my gut tells me he had no intention of doing this at all, but simply said it to hurt you. It was mean, and it was n... (read in full...)
He does not want to get married!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend 3 years and we have a 19 month old son together. I never really was bothered about getting engaged and married till a few months after I had my son. I take him to appointments and we don't even have the same last nam...
A. 6 April 2012: If you and the child's father are not married you are not under any legal obligation to give your child the father's last name.
Change it back to yours, and tell your boyfriend if you are not good enough to have his family name neither is the fles... (read in full...)
I still love my ex but I'm married!
Q. Hi I have been divorced from my ex for about 9yrs now. We still talk on a regular basis. He now has 2 kids but indicated to me that he would never marry again unless it was me. I recently re-married almost a year ago. I love my husband, but I just ...
A. 6 April 2012: Oh come on now, he a new significant other and two kids, where do they fit in this lovely day dream of yours, or don't they matter?
The man is your ex for a reason, not least being that you couldn't make it as a married couple last time, this tim... (read in full...)
We had an argument and now my b/f won't speak to me
Q. Right I need some help.. Me and my boyfriend had an argument Monday night over the most stupid thing.. He hadn't called or seen me all weekend so I said to him on the phone you know I wernt gonna bother even calling you today.. All he said was I ai...
A. 5 April 2012: Whoo, what some of us might call a 'dummy spit'
Are you sure you want somebody who wont even discuss the issue with you as a boyfriend?
How can you resolve whatever it is that is upsetting him if he wont answer the phone?
I would leave h... (read in full...)
He says he can't give me what I want right now but still wants to see me
Q. I was introduced to a really nice man. We have been on 3 dates. He says he likes me and is attracted to me but he now says we hv both come out of bad relationships and right now he can't give me what I want. He says he still wants to see me and ...
A. 5 April 2012: I think he might be giving you a polite brush off. Its only three days, it is possible you were too eager and tried to rush things too fast for him. Just take it steady, limit the sms, dont always be the one to initiate contact, and see what ... (read in full...)
Do I tell the guy I'm dating that I did a background check on him?
Q. So, I have been seeing this guy (43 years old) for 2 weeks now, and decided that things have been getting more serious and I should do a background check on him. I do that to anyone I start dating because I have children I need to think about. Don't ...
A. 4 April 2012: I find the fact you believe a relationship is getting seriou after only 2 weeks of dating of concern. I I had been dating somebody for 2 weeks and they queried me on the results of a background check they'd conducted on me I would be out of there ... (read in full...)
My wife has finally had enough of me, but I have finally come to my senses! Is it possible to win her trust and love back?
Q. My wonderful wife is ready for a divorce after many year of neglect. I have cheated multiple time and it has nearly killed her emotionally, I cant imagine why she has stuck with me this long but, its coming to an end. She is ready for a divorce. ...
A. 3 April 2012: You know the woman, after all you knew how to lie to her and cheat on her and cause her emotional grief, and on top of all that you say it is right she has fallen out of love with you.
Does that mean if she falls back in love with you it will be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's dad is creating problems in our relationship and shows no signs of moving out
Q. My boyfriends and I have been together 3 years in July. We got a house together almost 2 years ago and I love him very much BUT his dad moved in with us when he started going through a divorce almost a year ago. At first he refused- said he ...
A. 3 April 2012: Your age is listed as 22 - 25. What is going to happen if you decide you want children, are you prepared to have this man who disrespects you treat you like that in front of your babies, that will be teaching them his behaviour is okay.
I hon... (read in full...)
After six weeks I asked him the status of our relationship and he backed off!
Q. I asked this guy the status of our relationship- we've been seeing each other for 6 weeks. He gave me an honest answer that he has too much work atm resulting in lack of free time, his ex is still at the back of his mind and he has family issues so ...
A. 1 April 2012: Six weeks, with a holiday in there somewhere, seems a bit too soon to be asking the big "what's our status" question.
He may be pulling back because of the question, or your asking this may have made him realise he still has some issues to deal ... (read in full...)
I need help fixing our relationship!
Q. I am in so much pain, my boyfriend and I spent an entire week together, I was on vacation and chose to spend it with him just to see how we would do under that same roof. Anyways we had a great time on Monday and Tuesday night after he got home from ...
A. 1 April 2012: The only person putting you into a position where you feel tortured is yourself.
He told he has never felt love for you, not at all during the past 12 months. Maybe he has actually been giving you signals about how he feels that you have not pick... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's dad is creating problems in our relationship and shows no signs of moving out
Q. My boyfriends and I have been together 3 years in July. We got a house together almost 2 years ago and I love him very much BUT his dad moved in with us when he started going through a divorce almost a year ago. At first he refused- said he ...
A. 31 March 2012: A year is quite long enough for him to have been living with you, and being supported by your boyfriend and yourself.
As it seems you have tried discussing this with your boyfriend, without any success, try once more, ask him how long he expects ... (read in full...)
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