My boyfriend spends too much time helping another woman through her separation
Q. Hi. I could really use your advice to help me determine if I am over reacting in this situation. I have a boyfriend. We have been dating for about five months so the relationship is very new. But I am having a problem with his attention on a f...
A. 29 July 2012: Woops, hit enter in error.
If the above is not your style, then tell him straight out you are not prepared to be in a relationship where you only have 25% of the attention of the other person, that you feel you are being pushed aside, that you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend spends too much time helping another woman through her separation
Q. Hi. I could really use your advice to help me determine if I am over reacting in this situation. I have a boyfriend. We have been dating for about five months so the relationship is very new. But I am having a problem with his attention on a f...
A. 29 July 2012: You are right to be concerned, I have seen this happen before.
Her appeal to him is that she makes him feel like a big strong broad shouldered man every time she whimpers "oh poor me".
I honestly don't think he has you on hold until she i... (read in full...)
We broke up last week. With No Contact, his idea. But can I still text him to wish him good luck with exams? Or wait?
Q. Hey Me and my bf broke up last week. I met him after 2 days asking him to be friends he disagreed for any contact. I maintained the no contact rule and today is the sixth day. He has exams on monday therefore, can I text him to wish him good lu...
A. 28 July 2012: No contact usually means no contact. I think you probably need a lot longer of no contact to accept he doesn't want to be your friend or boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Drunk I liked her, sober I don't!
Q. hello i got drunk last night and was ment to hook up with a friend we liked each other and stuff but after i was pretty drunk i just didnt like her and didnt want her and now im sober im the same she just dosnt appeal to me any more now im thinking ...
A. 28 July 2012: I don't really think the answer to your question matters much either way, getting so drunk at your age doesn't give much hope for your future. ... (read in full...)
Why does he text me first but he keeps the conversation short?
Q. Hi everyone. Me and my guy friend have really good chemistry. We get along well. We flirt a lot. We have a lot in common. But when he texts me, he is very short with his texts and is always the first to end the conversations. He doe...
A. 28 July 2012: Yes, you are reading too much into thism he is at work when he texts. His employer pays him a wage and in return expects him to work during work hours, not text.
... (read in full...)
Why has he not replied to my text?
Q. SORRY IF THIS IS SO LONG!!!!! i would really appreciate some help though as im getting so down about this situation :( what does it mean when your ex (who you believe still likes you) doesn't text you back? long story short, he initiated our br...
A. 26 July 2012: If you want your CD back you may need to go and knock on the door and ask for it. As for your relationship, he told you he couldn't give you what you wanted, maybe he still believes that.
http:... (read in full...)
I'm really concerned about the way my mother's boyfriend is treating my younger brother.
Q. My mum and her partner moved in together 6 months ago, I'm going to be honest I've never liked him. This weekend I've spent the weekend at their house and I'm apalled by the way that he treats my brother who is 13 and I'll try and list some ...
A. 25 July 2012: Could you take him? Contact that father of his and tell him what's going on, tell him to start caring and to pay for his son to live with you.
Try talking to social services, ask what help is available, ask for advice.
Has your mother any ... (read in full...)
This man wants to date with no strings attached
Q. man with bagage from last relationship just wants to hang out, no commitment, supper, movie, site seeing, sex and interrested in other women also what should i do?...
A. 25 July 2012: I assume he wont give the friendship, hanging out, movies, meals, etc without the sex? Because I could handle that, however I wouldn't be able to handle a relationship which involved all the above, plus sex without some sort of emotional engagement ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sent me horribly abusive text messages but now claims he does not remember any of this!
Q. My boyfriend recently called me fat on a voicemail message when he was out and I was out but seperatley he said answer your phone u fat b*****d on text me calling me an wh*re and never to bother him again. He said he cannot remember any of this but ...
A. 24 July 2012: But I love him!
What is it going to take for you to realise he doesn't deserve your love?
He does this, calls you names, deep down you are unhappy, but you love him so none of that matters.
As long as you are kidding yourself about that so c... (read in full...)
After everything that's happened we want to be together again but I don't know if I can trust her
Q. Plzz help me i am in a very difficult situation.I was in a relationship for 6 yrs and i used to love her alot.I done everything for her everything.Both of our parent was ready.And i was very possesive for her.Everything was going great but before 6 ...
A. 23 July 2012: You are asking if you can trust her but my question is can she trust you? Why is this girl getting back with you after you hit her and her parents had to call the police?
And then you plotted revenge against her? And you are still plotting... (read in full...)
Will I ever get the right guy?
Q. okay this is going to sound stupid...I am 15 and 16 in a couple of weeks. Okay i feel propar low my ex split up with me and i got over that but still miss him been around every single ex i have been with has cheated excapt him. Also i hear other ...
A. 23 July 2012: Don't rush to lose your virginity, once its gone its gone forever, too bad if other girls laugh, maybe its the only response they have.
There is no magic formulae for getting a boyfriend, you need to be friendly and sociable, approachable and open... (read in full...)
Should I forget my hopes and dreams for a man who might never get his act together?
Q. I am planning on going overseas in a month in order to continue my chosen career as there are no opportunities in my country at the moment. I am also going because I want to explore the world and travel. My bf is aware of my future plans but not ...
A. 23 July 2012: Short answer: No.
If he is aware of your plans for your career and future, he may simply be closing his eyes to it happening. You need to tell him, and soon, how close and imminent your departure is.
It may jolt him out of his current comfort ... (read in full...)
I need to break up as painlessly as possible, he doesn't have a clue even though I've tried to give him hints!
Q. I've been seeing someone off and on for the past few months and I need to end things with him. He really likes me and, despite me trying to "clue him in" the past couple of weeks, he's not going to see the breakup coming. I'm seeing him on Thursday ...
A. 23 July 2012: The fact it has been off and on for the past few months should make it a little easier. You need to be firm and honest, find your own words to tell him it just isn't working for you. DONT SAY "It's not you it's me".
Breakups are rarely painless... (read in full...)
I think she is cheating again .....
Q. I have been with my girl for about 7 months now. She cheated on me around april of 2012 with my best friend. Now she is ating quite strange. She makes conversations short, always has to go, never tells me anything about why she had to go, stuff like ...
A. 23 July 2012: This girl has already shown she can't be trusted, and a relationship without trust isn't going anywhere.
You have been dating her for only seven months, and four months in she cheated, and now she is acting secretively again. She doesn't care for... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he being heartless?
Q. So I want to try to make this as unbiased as possible, sorry it's so long. My boyfriend and I are searching for an apartment in an expensive city. We are currently long distance, but have not always been. We agreed on a reasonable budget. We are b...
A. 23 July 2012: You are aged between 26 and 29 and your mother is going to support you? Why? Why are you not supporting yourself?
And not only are you quite comfortable being supported by your parents at your age you also expect your boyfriend to accept their ha... (read in full...)
He leaves, I pay, he comes back, I say "hey" she yells I am not being supportive!
Q. I babysat for a friend for 6 months because her baby's father left her. So I only charged her $70 per week so she didn't have to worry about finding a babysitter and can get financially stable. She then got back with her baby's father within 2 ...
A. 23 July 2012: Tell her you are having problems paying your bills and so she needs to pay full amount for stuff.
next time the boyfriend does a runner when the rent is due, go shopping, don't be home when she comes a knocking for a discount!
Prepare yours... (read in full...)
My dad won't come to my wedding!
Q. Hi, I recently got engaged to a wonderful man and we are planning a wedding for spring 2013. I've been with my now fiance for about 6 years now, so I feel like my dad should have had this coming. To put it into perspective, my dad had a cold u...
A. 23 July 2012: Your father is an asshat. Ask your mother to walk you down the aisle, my daughter in law had her mother at her side, and another friend also walked HER daughter down the aisle, these days weddings are not so set in concre
Why have a small ca... (read in full...)
Should we just let the china plate go?
Q. This probably is not the most appropriate place to ask this, but: My wife took a plate of cookies to some new neighbors. They weren't home, so she left a note. They haven't returned the plate, and it's been a week or two. To make matters worse th...
A. 23 July 2012: Knock on the door "hi, sorry you were out when we came to meet you, I hope you got the cookies okay, my wife's has sent me over to see if you have finished with the plate they were on"
"let us know if you need anything or if we can help at all" ... (read in full...)
I lost my bestfriend to his girlfriend
Q. I had a Friend who was one if my best friends. In fact he was more like the little brother I never had. About a month or so ago, he got back with his ex, who had cheated on him in the past. He said at the time, he felt like he was making a huge mis...
A. 23 July 2012: You've done the right thing in letting him know the door is open. A young man like that, his hormones are probably raging and she is scratching an itch.
All you can do is hope that once the newness and novelty of the relationship wears off he w... (read in full...)
What should I do post-break up?
Q. Hi guys, got a question about my breakup. I'm 19, he's 21. Been seeing a guy for just over a month now. Decided properly around a couple of weeks ago that I really wanted this to work. We both agreed that he would come stay with me for a week as...
A. 23 July 2012: Yes, remove him from your phone and your facebook, block him so that he cannot contact you.
I am so glad you did not give in to his unsubtle attempts to emotionally blackmail you into acting contrary to your wishes, ie sending dirty pics. I was h... (read in full...)
Please help...I am deeply in love with my baby's father
Q. I am 23 years old and so is he. we've had a 5 year relationship.. after finding out i was pregnant our problems began.. I left him when I was 7 months pregnant because of cheating suspicions . after my baby was born, he moved on dating an older ...
A. 23 July 2012: I recall you writing about your situation previously. Because your baby's father is a money grubber, who will suck up to an older woman for the material things it will bring him it seems you are going to have to be the tough one in this ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend kicked me out...should I tell his family how he's behaved?
Q. Three months ago my now ex boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me. He said he wanted it to be civil, which it was in the beginning. I had moved to a different country to be with him and we had decided to live together, but he moved out and ...
A. 23 July 2012: Personally I doubt they will believe you, all he needs to do is say she blah blah blah and they will take his word for it.
Unless you are owed money or he has more of your possessions, put it down to another of life's lessons, and let it go.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend kicked me out...should I tell his family how he's behaved?
Q. Three months ago my now ex boyfriend of a year and a half broke up with me. He said he wanted it to be civil, which it was in the beginning. I had moved to a different country to be with him and we had decided to live together, but he moved out and ...
A. 23 July 2012: Personally I doubt they will believe you, all he needs to do is say she blah blah blah and they will take his word for it.
Unless you are owed money or he has more of your possessions, put it down to another of life's lessons, and let it go.
... (read in full...)
What are the possible reasons why he's ignoring me?
Q. Here is my story.. Okay so i met this guy..At first we was only friend..But though we both liked each other..Unfortunately he had a girl in his life..since the past 7 years..That is the reason why we remain friend..But gradually he started telli...
A. 22 July 2012: I guess if he has had a girlfriend for seven years he must be quite a bit older than you.
I don't mean to be cruel but I think he was just playing around with you while his girlfriend was abroad, and now that she has come home he will only be ... (read in full...)
I feel trapped by my circumstances - Do I stay in a country where I am unhappy, or do I leave without my child?
Q. Dear All, I feel trapped in a complicated situation - I feel as though I am only living half a life. I am a black-British woman (50yrs old) living and working in Austria for 10 yrs. My then husband (white-British), son and I moved...
A. 22 July 2012: Find a lawyer in the UK who specialises in family law. Your son is a citizen of the UK so it makes sense to seek UK advise rather than Austrian. You don't tell us of your circumstances, which could impact any advise I could give, or even advise a ... (read in full...)
He is willing to give me up if I want a more secure relationship ...
Q. A person who doesn't like expectations and commitment in a relationship but tells you he is in love with you and the love is real and pure. Is this love or just playing games? I am in love with a person who tells me this and my relationship wit...
A. 22 July 2012: "But I love him" What a crock of sheet! How many times do we see that written on these pages, he bashed me but I love him, he abuses me but I love him, he cheats but I love him ....
You addictive love is infactuation gone wrong. You have few time... (read in full...)
He is willing to give me up if I want a more secure relationship ...
Q. A person who doesn't like expectations and commitment in a relationship but tells you he is in love with you and the love is real and pure. Is this love or just playing games? I am in love with a person who tells me this and my relationship wit...
A. 22 July 2012: "But I love him" What a crock of sheet! How many times do we see that written on these pages, he bashed me but I love him, he abuses me but I love him, he cheats but I love him ....
You addictive love is infactuation gone wrong. You have few time... (read in full...)
My Marriage is slowly disintegrating;
Q. I separated from husband 4months ago. We're married for 5months. I found an excuse to get out since i felt emotionally abused. He made every discussion and living very difficult and we just never saw eye to eye,(finances, household chores, living ...
A. 22 July 2012: The idea of a counsellor is that they are the independant people, who will facilitate sessions between you and your husband to try and find some common ground that you can build on. Sending him an email outlining your issues is not the same thing. ... (read in full...)
Is is possible to find only one person beautiful?
Q. My friend told me that he only finds his wife beautiful.Is it possible? I've searched on the net a bit about it and found 7 men and 10 women who says they only find their gfs or bfs beautiful. Are there these kind of people?...
A. 22 July 2012: Thanks for your answer OP, I had a feeling it was part of a conversation his wife was not part of. Were you angling for compliments, or perhaps being a little flirty so that had to set boundaries?
... (read in full...)
He is willing to give me up if I want a more secure relationship ...
Q. A person who doesn't like expectations and commitment in a relationship but tells you he is in love with you and the love is real and pure. Is this love or just playing games? I am in love with a person who tells me this and my relationship wit...
A. 21 July 2012: Six years of your life down the gurgler, how honourable of him to offer to give you up if you prefer something more secure!
He doesn't like you having expectations, he refuses to discuss committment with you, is controlling and dominant.
He d... (read in full...)
Is is possible to find only one person beautiful?
Q. My friend told me that he only finds his wife beautiful.Is it possible? I've searched on the net a bit about it and found 7 men and 10 women who says they only find their gfs or bfs beautiful. Are there these kind of people?...
A. 21 July 2012: In what context did your friend make this statement, were you and he and his wife sitting around drinking tea just generally chatting or did he have a reason to tell you that?
Yes, there are people who only find their partners beautiful or hands... (read in full...)
Is it for the thrill of it all?
Q. Hi Aunts, I have a question i would like to ask you all,as i can't seem to make any sense of it. I have been having a affair with a married man for quite some time,years actually,so please if any of you are going to preach to me that i'm doing wr...
A. 21 July 2012: I agree with Cerebus's take on this situation, I also find his practice of having his wife pick you up and take you to these functions an insult to both women.
She is his wife, who knows nothing, and you are uncomfortable with this but does he ... (read in full...)
I am not ready to move in with him!
Q. So, my bf is pressurising me to move in with him, and is starting to say things that are really immature and I don't know how to gently keep on explaining why I'm not ready to move in without getting a little frustrated! We've been together 20 ...
A. 21 July 2012: "My friends are saying you would've moved in with me by now if you really love me."
Say to him "tell your friends if you really loved me you would respect my decision and reasons for not moving in with you"
I agree, it is a variation on the... (read in full...)
How do I get him to leave?
Q. My situation is my boyfriend of 2 years is living with me in my flat where I pay the rent and he makes and will continue to make a contribution "when he can" in his words, and the reason for this is that when we were very "in love" in the beginning ...
A. 21 July 2012: It sounds as if you have had enough of this free loader and need him out and gone! It's not going to be easy, he is so comfy being taken care of by you, and just like any other parasite it will take a little pressure to remove him.
Talk to your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have sex before I go to University so he will remember me, is this a good idea or is he still a womanizer?
Q. hi i have been dating this guy for eleven months now we agreed on not having sex but we do kiss, and recently he says he wants to have sex before i go to the university in order to keep me in mind. i dont understand this at all, rumours have it that ...
A. 20 July 2012: If he is so worried he might forget you give him a framed photograph instead.
This is just a variation of the old "if you really loved me" line.... (read in full...)
Trouble with my best friends, please help!
Q. Hey everyone, We r four friends me tina,lisa,sonia..so lately tina has been talking a lot of shit about us behind our backs..and we never told each other then one day I cldnt take it anymore so I told lisa that tina has been saying 'not so' nice thi...
A. 20 July 2012: Are you girls really aged between 22 and 25 because this sounds like a whole lot of hooey to me, juvenile bunkum that should have been left in primary school!
By age 22 you should have well and truly left this stuff behind and be more focussed... (read in full...)
I really like him alot and now I don't know what to do.
Q. hey cupids, this is my dilema: a few months back my family hosted two boys from england for a program at my school. In the three days they were here I got to know one of the two guys. I have his number and he has mine. After he left I text him a ...
A. 20 July 2012: It doesn't sound like he is interested in you as a girlfriend, and that no romantic liasion is going to happen.
Don't take it personal, he is probably busy with the other stuff of life, family, friends, hanging out, school etc etc, keep him on f... (read in full...)
I'm confused by his behavior.
Q. Dear cupid I met someone at a meeting and it seems that he liked me he kept hugging me and staying near me all the time.So we kept contact after the meeting. He asked me out on a date and he coudlnt keep his hands off me at the cinema and kept h...
A. 20 July 2012: He saw you as friends, you got upset and cancelled plans, he now posts stuff (presumably on facebook or other social network) about recieving massages, which you KNOW are from his friend.
There are any number of things he could be trying to do:
... (read in full...)
My Girl friend is way to jealous.
Q. have been dating my girl friend and living with her for for 7 months at first she was really cool then out of no where she started getting jealous over everyone I talked to even my male friends its like she's not happy if i don't spend my every ...
A. 20 July 2012: Your name says it all. Now that the lastest episode is cooled down sit her down at the kitchen table for an honest talk.
Make sure she is listening.
Stay calm .... in you own words tell her if it happens again she is out. Ask her if she u... (read in full...)
Do many divorce even when they are still in love?
Q. My husband and I are most likely divorcing, he refuses to work on things and a whole mess of other details I'm leaving out... Basically, I know it is the right thing to do. I know I deserve to be happy. I know that nothing will ever change. ...
A. 20 July 2012: Have you tried counselling?
... (read in full...)
I'm having to chose between the gym to keep my body or my girlfriend!
Q. Here' s the thing. My girlfriend has been complaining of lately that I don't spend enough time with her. I can totally understand her argument because I simply have too much going on to devote a large majority of my time to her. I work full time, ...
A. 20 July 2012: What do you want, a girlfriend who wants to spend time with you in a relationship or random strangers complimenting you? You admit you are obsessive!
Its you choice, frankly it sounds to me that there isn't any room in your life, nor a lot of l... (read in full...)
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