A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, So I made the mistake of taking this guy back . Even though he was a real creep while we were dating. His friends were always more important than me, he never arranged to spend time with me, took hits on my self esteem, very rarely let me hang with him and his friends, and he was also a pervert who didn't notice or care that the inappropriate things he said and did, irritated me and made me very uncomfortable. I had to make all the efforts to make the relationship work and he wouldn't even commit to say we were dating. Even after we broke up he said we never dated even though I asked him if someone asked if we dated would he say yes and mean it and he agreed to it. Before I broke up with him he was ignoring me for days so I asked him if there was another girl he wanted to be seeing and he said yes, he said he thought God wanted him to do certain things before he found a girlfriend and he said something changed in him over the weekend. So I gave him a note in person giving him the break up he so desperately wanted and he didn't so much as blink. I only sent him a note because I didn't think he would even give me the time of day to break up with him in person I promised myself I would never take him back but he started sending me text messages begging for me back so I arranged to meet at my house to talk about this and he was so smug knowing he just waltzed his way back into my life, saying " we just had a break" thinking he was the one who broke up with me too and soon he was back to his old ways and it sickened me but stupidly I agreed to taking him back and I've been regretting it ever since. Which had me thinking about my promise to myself about not letting anyone step all over me again so I had to break it off aside from that even though we've only texting each other he's been making me miserable for days. How can I break up with him in the fastest most polite way possible? Answers are appreciated and please don't judge me I made the same mistake twice and that was stupid but I'm not a bad person I wasn't leading him on I only took him back because I was manipulated into doing so.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 I also agree with sending one last text, but I wouldn't be wishing him all the best. I also agree with the anonymous male, he has already slimed his way back once, and could probably do it again so don't go it alone, muster some help in keeping this creep at bay. Counselling or involving family members (the big burly ones if you have some), or friends should help.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (8 July 2012):
 I agree with one of the anonymous writers here. Send him one last text telling him you made a mistake. Do not answer any phone calls, texts, or emails. Block his number and make sure he cannot access any of your social networking sites (if you have them). You do not owe him anything...even a polite break-up. Do what is needed to protect yourself. Do not go over to his house or allow him into yours. No contact is the best method here.
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A
female
reader, Nik3 +, writes (8 July 2012):
Sounds like my estranged husband. He was always talking about his manhood in front of my three girls. He would fight me in front of my girls and call me dirty B's in front of them. I got a restraining order on his butt. Oh yeah he did give me death threats by way of text message and voicemail and I went straight to a detective an they have everything. The detective got a warrant for his behind and got him for aggravated stalking which is a felony so he can serve the rest of every bit of 1-2 years in jail thinking about how dumb he was.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2012): He sounds awful and you sound like a nice person.. It is was me I would not even phone him. I'd send a text saying "I made a mistake in getting back with you. It's not going to work out. I wish you all the best. Goodbye" and leave it at that. Delete his number and delete any texts he sends you. He does not own you, and you are not responsible for him or his happiness/ self esteem. You made a mistake in getting back with him but it's not a huge mistake and it's not irreversible. Nip it in the bud ASAP to spare yourself any more anguish over this. Then, in the future, think seriously before getting involved with a man. Choose a man who deserves you and makes you happy; don't just let any old loser choose you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (7 July 2012):
 You say to him you don't get back with him just because he misses you, or wants to see if he can still get a hold of you. You want to see a new person. Since he hasn't changed you had to undo the taking him back. Block his number or change your number. It's not that difficult as you think. There's no need to feel embarrassed about your generous nature which he took advantage of.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2012): "How can I break up with him in the fastest most polite way possible?"
Impossible, he's not going to let you go that easily. You
can tell him you're breaking up with him but you can't control how he'll react to the news, and since he's already successfully weaseled his way back into your affections after a break-up and you didn't realize what he had done until after the fact, he'll simply respond to this latest attempt to dump him by smoothly shifting gears into "win you back" mode and once again lauching an all-out assault on your defenses to reel you back in.
You need information, help and support to make a clean and final break from this charming manipulative con artist. Please seek counselling or contact your local domestic violence shelter/hotline for guidance. Bf may not be physically abusive, but he obviously knows what buttons to push and strings to pull to keep you under his emotional control, and you need to be able to recognize and counter the predictable tactics he will use in attempting to convince you to change your mind for a second time.
Be forewarned you are NOT going to get away from bf in the "fastest most polite way possible," it is likely going to take days, weeks or months of sustained effort before you are completely free of him, and you likely can't do it on your own, you need some type of professional assistance (because of HIM, not you).
Good luck and best wishes. Your life will be much better without bf but don't kid yourself, it's going to take hard work on your part to get rid of him completely.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2012): You realise that you've made a mistake and that you don't want to be with him, so the solution is really pretty simple. Just call him, now, and tell him it's over and you don't want to be with him. You don't have to be nasty about it but you also don't need to worry about sparing his feelings. It's not like he cares much about yours.
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