Financial situation with husband's kids, ex and myself is making me want to leave the marriage!
Q. My stepdaughter has been living with us for 4 months. She does not pay rent, clean house or buy food. She has a full time job but spends her money on wine, clothes and going out. That brings me to my problem. Her mom and dad have the wackiest ...
A. 3 November 2012: Thankyou for clarifying. As you and he are not married there is no reason why you cant just up sticks and walk, and leave him and his ex missus and their grown children to wallow in this mess of their own making.
And be firm, dont go back unt... (read in full...)
I broke things off because he is confused about his ex. He still wants to be friends?
Q. I've been dating a guy for a month now, I already knew he had recently broke up, but he assured me he didn't want to get back with her. He introduced me to his friends, took photos off my Facebook showed everyone(he didn't tell me till after) s...
A. 3 November 2012: You are his back up girl, if things don't work with his girlfriend you are there to fill the gap.
I wouldn't be going out of my way to 'be friends' with him, however there is no reason why you can't be polite if you meet each other in the street, ... (read in full...)
My 19-year-old daughter who has learning difficulties and autism, is involved with a married man. How do I make her see sense?
Q. I'm concerned about my 19-year-old daughter who has learning difficulties as well as autism. She's in college studying hairdressing. She's got a new boyfriend, who's 25, and I've only recently found out he's been married for 2 weeks - and the man ...
A. 3 November 2012: Also, approach this organisation for help and support, they may be able to get somebody to talk to her on your behalf.
http://www.autism.org.uk/... (read in full...)
My 19-year-old daughter who has learning difficulties and autism, is involved with a married man. How do I make her see sense?
Q. I'm concerned about my 19-year-old daughter who has learning difficulties as well as autism. She's in college studying hairdressing. She's got a new boyfriend, who's 25, and I've only recently found out he's been married for 2 weeks - and the man ...
A. 3 November 2012: while your autistic daughter may have initiated the kissing etc, he is a married man with a child and did not have to accept her overtures.
I'm going to assume you have tried to tell your daughter he is married, and so off limits. Get a copy of ... (read in full...)
I'm with someone I love but after a few days together I need time alone!
Q. I'm with someone I really love but after we've spent a couple of really intimate days together, I feel like I have to get away and spend time alone. He doesn't understand and wants to spend all the time with me. It ends up causing a lot of arguments ...
A. 3 November 2012: I would be very cautious about proceeding too much further with this man. Nobody likes to be suffocated. It is not good that you need to manufacture arguments to get time on your own.
Tell him he needs to back off and acknowledge and respect ... (read in full...)
What does a wink from a married man mean? Friendly or flirtatious?
Q. What does a wink from a married man mean? While I was at a friend's house, her (friendly) husband winked at me while I was leaving. We were talking at the door and he winked. Previous to that, I always felt he would be happy to bump into me in ...
A. 3 November 2012: Oh for heaven's sake. A wink in itself is an innocuous form of communication. He was being friendly. As for him answering your question when you, YOU PHONED their house, and he said he was looking at real estate in your city, hey, maybe he meant ... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend lost interest or is it the stress of his current custody battle?
Q. I had been dating a man for only 2 months, so just a short time. We hit it off very well...he would call daily,(sometimes twice) email, text, showed lots of interest. He asked me to go on a few weekend getaways with him and some close friends in a ...
A. 2 November 2012: I agree, his email did not sound like a breakup email.If he is involved in a protracted legal case he may not have time to invest in a relationship of only 2 months. If you think he is worth waiting a little longer for, keep in touch with him and ... (read in full...)
Financial situation with husband's kids, ex and myself is making me want to leave the marriage!
Q. My stepdaughter has been living with us for 4 months. She does not pay rent, clean house or buy food. She has a full time job but spends her money on wine, clothes and going out. That brings me to my problem. Her mom and dad have the wackiest ...
A. 2 November 2012: Try talking to him one more time, choose a time when it is usually calm at you house and he will be receptive (not some time when he would usually be watching sport or something). Do your sums, point out how much you earn and how little benefit you ... (read in full...)
Can anyone shed any light on the "husband as head of household" concept?
Q. Can anyone give me some perspective on the husband as the "head of the household"? My fiance comes from a religious background and says this is important.I would like to understand what it is goig to mean in terms of how things will be different ...
A. 2 November 2012: This is an archaic belief dating back to the times when women were not recognised as people in their own right but chattels (or belongings) of their fathers until they were married and then the became the poperty of their husbands. Any property due ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be just friends. But how do I get past the fact that I think she's in a relationship?
Q. I'm 16, and I really like this girl who's the same age. She goes to a different school than me, so it's not possible to see her every day. She is already in a relationship, but we talk at least every other day. She hasn't told me she is in a ...
A. 2 November 2012: If she is already in a relationship she obviously doesnt want to be in a relationship with you.
You have to accept that all she wants from you is somebody to talk to every few days.
... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish? Three week baby sitting assignment I do not want. Help me rebut their fallacious arguments
Q. I am single and I like babysitting my nephews and nieces from time to time. But now I think my family are asking too much of me. I live alone and I work full time. Just because I am not married and don't have children does not mean I don't want chi...
A. 2 November 2012: Tell your mother NO. Tell her if she cant accept that you dont want to give up your holidays to mind somebody elses children that is her problem. Tell her if she feels this is a deal breaker between the mother/daughter relationship you love her ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to move on and be happy. Maybe my ex just isn't the one?
Q. so me and my ex have broken up for about 2 1/2 months now, we still talk and are friends, we were going to start dating in about a month and give us another try (we were together for about 3 years), but today she came to my house to tell me that she ...
A. 1 November 2012: Time to wake up and take a good long look here. She already has a child, she broke up with you 10 weeks ago, you were planning to get together again in about a month (?? eh) and she is 8 weeks pregnant. But not to worry, you have already met a ... (read in full...)
Is my girlfriend getting on line and chatting because she is at home and bored?
Q. While I am out at work my girlfriend does nothing all day except chat to guys and flirt on the internet. I have found out about this now for the fourth time in a year. We almost broke up for good, and now I find she is doing it yet again. It is hard ...
A. 1 November 2012: Why isn't she working, or learning new skills, becoming independant? Its fine that you give her money, if you are staying at her place every night she will be incurring costs. But how else does she live? is she totally supported by you even though ... (read in full...)
How can I encourage a girl to love me again? Because she hates me now
Q. there was a girl she loved me but i broke her heart. She told me her secrets and i told only my best friend. He told her. i love her so much and she hates me now i tried to talk to her but she dont want to talk to me now i said sorry to her and...
A. 29 October 2012: I hope you realise your "best friend" is not your friend, best or otherwise.
As for your ex girlfriend, I don't know what those secrets were but your repeating them has well and truly ended any chance you had. I think you need to accept this is ... (read in full...)
Man with little response...
Q. I have been spending time with a man who became a widower 18 months ago. I didn't want to be involved in a rebound situation and he admitted he felt vulnerable so we literally are just friends. The problem is, now I have been spending time with him ...
A. 28 October 2012: I hate to say it but maybe he just isnt that into you. I'd give this guy a miss for a while,instead of hanging around waiting for him to initiate something get out there and start living life with other friends and family members. Don't remove ... (read in full...)
Why no call after weekend if he enjoyed it so?
Q. My guy was interested in me several months before I knew. Finally he was able to tell me. I am 44 but don't look it and he is 26, very mature and level headed. We have officially been together over a month. Spent my birthday weekend together in ...
A. 28 October 2012: Hi OP,
while you saw it as bonding and building and felt it was a meeting on an emotional level he saw it as sex with an amazing older woman. He 'bragged' about the sex, and how you got him excited. There was no emotional attachment for him.
... (read in full...)
First meeting with his parents and I. Do I take a present and if so what?
Q. My Boyfriend said he wants me to meet his parents next weekend and I am scared. We have been together now for 6 months and this is the first time he has suggested this. He said to me to not be bothered by his Mother. I asked him what he meant an...
A. 27 October 2012: Ohhh meet the parents time.
Sometimes our kids dont quite see us the way we really are so dont read too much into what your boyfriend has said about his mother until you can judge for yourself.
If gifts have been ruled out, take your manner... (read in full...)
Why no call after weekend if he enjoyed it so?
Q. My guy was interested in me several months before I knew. Finally he was able to tell me. I am 44 but don't look it and he is 26, very mature and level headed. We have officially been together over a month. Spent my birthday weekend together in ...
A. 27 October 2012: Sounds to me it was about the sex, otherwise he would have bragged about feelings and emotions. ... (read in full...)
She lives in his house, wears his clothes and has him at her beck and call... am I wrong to think this is out of order?
Q. My boyfriend and I both are 17. I have recently found out that one of the girls my boyfriend introduced to me as his sister is not, in fact, his sister. She is just a really close family friend. She has no blood or legal ties with him what so ever! ...
A. 27 October 2012: I think his family should turn their back on this girl who has been like one of the family since kindergarten, they should nail shut the door of her bedroom, and insist on being called Mr and Mrs Whatever instead of Mom and Dad. Everytime she ... (read in full...)
Torn by family loyalties...
Q. I would like to get advice on something family and money related. I have a job working full time with a decent salary. My family has a small business which they are struggling with. They have asked me for money several times in the last 2 years. I ...
A. 25 October 2012: If your family's business is viable they should approach a lending institution. You don't say what the family relationship is, parents, sibling or cousins, nieces etc, nor what the business is.
I can imagine how difficult it must be to say no t... (read in full...)
Can I stay close to my BF's family if we finish our affair? Life with my husband is not good. And My BF now has a new GF.
Q. I am married without children and i have a lover. we have been seeing each other for 4 years now and for the the first year we were only friends. I am not happy with my husband but i dont want to leave him as he is a handsome guy and it ends ther...
A. 22 October 2012: Staying in an unhappy relationship because the other person is good looking seems to lack depth and meaning to me.
As for your boyfriend's family I am afraid his new girlfriend will take precedence and if they are put into a position where th... (read in full...)
Is what I do a fetish? Or am I am exhibitionist? My wife says people stare at me in public when I do this
Q. Am I wierd, I dont like to wear underware sometimes and when I go camando in shorts my package sometimes is noticeable. My wife says people keep staring but I dont see them I think she is just worried my junk will spill out at the wrong time. I ...
A. 21 October 2012: I don't understand what you mean by liking to see women in awkward situations, but let me tell you this, as a woman of more mature years, I would find your junk falling out of your shorts so unattractive they would fall off the scale of out there, ... (read in full...)
Marriage in trouble. But could we get back together? best advice???
Q. Well, my world came tumbling down to earth about 5 weeks ago. I have been married for 8 years, known each other for another 7 or so years earlier, have two boys 8 and 11 with her. We had one break up before we had kids, she met someone at her w...
A. 15 October 2012: You ask if its right if she takes the kids, you havent worked for three years, how were you planning to support them if she doesnt take them?
Who's been responsible for supporting them and you and your wife for the past three years while you have... (read in full...)
I dumped my married lover when I found out about another woman, I think his wife needs to be told!
Q. I am married and had an affair with a married man. We're both in our early 50's. For four years. I've been needing to end it. He ended it, after some bad behaviour on my part, and well, I just got really angry. It wasn't some soulmate thing, it ...
A. 15 October 2012: Oh whoopie doo, you are planning to tell your husband about the four year long affair that you were dumped out of when your behaviour was too bad for even your married triple timing lover to accept.
There is no contrition in your question... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is upset our porn movie has been posted online.
Q. My girlfriend is a sweet, amazing girl but very shy 21 year old. She was in a few very bad relationships before we met and has some trust issues from being hurt in the past. I had always wanted to make a sex tape but never did because ...
A. 15 October 2012: Show your girlfriend you are serious and have your so called friend charged with stealing.... (read in full...)
Is he wasting my time and stalling me? His actions so far are unreliable and inconsistent.
Q. Why is he acting funny towards me? I don't know what to think. This guy offered me his phone number when I asked for help with a class. When we spoke he didn't remember me, but a few days later I get a text from him about a place. Some friends ...
A. 14 October 2012: Unless everyone around you are clairvoyant or have magically crystal balls don't listen to them.
This guy sounds unreliable, if you need help with a class find somebody else to give you that help.
If you are discussing his actions at lengt... (read in full...)
I love this guy, and I want it to work. So how do I handle him calling me "fat"(I'm not), and commenting on girls he thinks are hot?
Q. Straight to the story, Been dating this guy for 2 months now. Everything was perfect, he is the sweetest person ever! Just one problem and i don't know if i should feel insecure or not! Or what i should even do, i feel like shit! He is very ov...
A. 14 October 2012: You are right, the relationship sounds perfect! Apart from his making you feel like shit that is. Oh, and also apart from the fact he has you so confused you don't know if you should feel insecure or not.
Hmm, there is also the fact he is const... (read in full...)
All these years later my husband refuses to believe he was my 'first'. What do I tell him? The truth is he was my first, but he will not believe me
Q. The day I lost my virginity I was 15 but on my period and now my husband thinks I was not a virgin because of that and I really never knew what losing my virginity was Now I am 32 years old and am still married to him now how do I tell him I was a ...
A. 14 October 2012: Every time this man refuses to accept your word as being truthful he is negating who you are as a person.
He is calling you a liar and has been calling you a liar for more than 15 years. ENOUGH! Either he is man enough to accept your word and... (read in full...)
Is it too early to do this? Should I allow this boy to come into my tent while we are camping and share my sleeping bag?
Q. I'm 14 (girl) I have been talking to this guy that I met the other day, we have been sending hearts. He's coming camping with me and one of my friends and one of his. He wants to if he can sleep in the swag (sleeping bag) with me, is it to early fo...
A. 13 October 2012: no way should you allow this guy to share your swag!
Sending each other hearts over a couple of days is no substitute for getting to know each other over several months. This guy only wants to get into your swag because he also wants to get into... (read in full...)
Am I feeling shock or Jealousy or anger? What should I do if he's now finding excuses to not pay child support?
Q. Im so hurt dont know whether it's shock jealousy or anger? i havent been able to sleep properly i keep getting these dreams about the situation im in. I feel used, worthless. Basically have been seperated from my ex for about 2 months I've put off ...
A. 7 October 2012: Been there, done that, got the T shirt.
Contact Child Support. Don't sleep with him again.
Only talk with him when it is about the children.
Get a stapled note book and start an access diary. Do not rip out any pages, regardless if you... (read in full...)
My ex posts horrible things about me on Facebook
Q. Can anyone help me on this topic please. My ex who I broke up with 9 Months ago is constantly writing derogatory remarks and twisted round versions about me on Facebook. There is no mention of name but it is written so everyone knows who it is she ...
A. 7 October 2012: There is no way to get it removed unless she names you and they are legally libellous or slanderous, and you would need to put together a water tight case and be prepared to take her to court.
You need to tell these 'kind' people who are repe... (read in full...)
How should we divide up living costs in our relationship? Is what I am doing so far, for her, fair?
Q. I'm writing to see what you guys think of me and my partner's financial situation. My partner's house is paid for, with no debt. She works 2 days a week, on a lowish wage. I'm self-employed, so my income is varying, but works out about £40k a y...
A. 6 October 2012: What we think doesn't really matter, the opinion that matters is that of your partner.
Also, you don't mention what is happening to the house you own, are you getting an income from that, ie getting rent or other? Or is it sitting empty and just... (read in full...)
Marriage problems. So should I look for my long lost friend or seek out my brother's friend?
Q. so im 22 years old and married for almost 5 years and with 2 kids(girls). Back when i was in the 8th grade i had a crush on this guy who was my best friend Everyone though that we were going out, but that never happened. The last time i saw him w...
A. 6 October 2012: Why on earth do you think somebody you knew in 8th grade is going to be interested in you while you are married to somebody else, same goes for the 19 year old, where is your brain woman?
So your marriage isn't so good, what about trying to fix i... (read in full...)
How long do I wait? He had an affair. Now he's returned to me, his wife of 40 years. But claims he no longer has any sex drive.
Q. My husband has had an affair with a woman at his work for the last 8 months. I found out throught his text messages. He confessed everything(almost). He won't give me the details.)he thinks they will only hurt me more). He has ended it but he ...
A. 4 October 2012: Phht, he doesn't need viagra to get it up for a bit of self gratification so he doesn't need it for you. he wont even sleep in the same room as you!
He could at least be sharing your bed even if he cant share anything else, let alone giving y... (read in full...)
How realistic is it for me to want to date only uncircumcised men?
Q. I know this may make me shallow, childish, immature, but it's how I feel: Three years ago I was engaged to a man from Europe. He was uncircumcised; it was not my first experience with an intact man. I loved it so much, and he was so gentle wi...
A. 4 October 2012: Sorry, but I must ask, how are you going to determine if a man is circumcised or not before you agree to date him? Will your prospective dates be expected to pull the old fella out before you are up for a cup of coffee?
Circumcised or not circumci... (read in full...)
How can I change my boyfriend's mind about my dogs and convince him they aren't vicious? He wants me to get rid of them!
Q. Help me please! My boyfriend wants me to get rid of my dogs! My dad is a police dog trainer, and ever since i was a kid i've been used to having big dogs. I live on my own and i have two grown rottweilers and just adopted a pitbull puppy. I have ...
A. 4 October 2012: Pre conceptions and assumptions can make life difficult. He thought you would have a little yappy dog. Why? Does he believe they are more feminine? Instead you have big dogs with big pre concieved reputations, and does the fact he doesn't like ... (read in full...)
How long do I wait? He had an affair. Now he's returned to me, his wife of 40 years. But claims he no longer has any sex drive.
Q. My husband has had an affair with a woman at his work for the last 8 months. I found out throught his text messages. He confessed everything(almost). He won't give me the details.)he thinks they will only hurt me more). He has ended it but he ...
A. 3 October 2012: You both need to see your doctor first, to determine if there are any medical reasons, and then you both need to attend counselling to deal with his not wanting to kiss you. If he wont go with you go by yourself.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
He isn't ready for a relationship, but I really like him!
Q. I need help or advice .There's this guy in my English class that i really like .he already knows that i like him and he told me that he just wasn't ready for a relationship just yet due to past ones ,and that he just wanted to be friends. we are ...
A. 1 October 2012: He is letting you down gently, if he has told you he is not ready for a relationship accept that he is not ready for a relationship (with you).
If he just wants to be friends, accept that, if you cant accept what he is offering then gently r... (read in full...)
How can I stop being in love with a straight guy?
Q. I’m a young gay guy and I feel like a crap right now. I’m in love with my straight classmate. It’s so hard for me that I’m literary breaking down. Of course, he doesn’t love me back. He has a girlfriend, and seems that he’s happy with her. I know I ...
A. 1 October 2012: What should you do? You should stop acting all angsty and get over it. He is straight, he has a girlfriend, what you have is a crush, or even lust, but it is not love.
While attraction to another can be instantaneous, and while love can grow fro... (read in full...)
He said if I dislike his pot smoking I can leave
Q. Ok! So me and my fiance have been together almost 9 years. When I met him he did not smoke, we've broke up and got back together in between that time, but here we are together again, and now he smokes weed. I have a serious problem with it. I mean...
A. 30 September 2012: He has certainly let you know what his priorities are, and they are not you and his children.
Leave. Your kids and you will be all the better for it.
... (read in full...)
What's going on with this guy? He's playing games with me and I cant figure out what the deal is with him
Q. My question: Is he really sick or did he stand me up? Our history: I met this guy online last year. We talked for 2 weeks and then went out for a dinner date. After the date, he kept insisting that I want to have sex with him. I told him that we...
A. 30 September 2012: He isnt interested in a relationship with you, he just wants sex.
If you want sex then stop the back and forth stuff and have sex. If you want to have sex but want to play a bit then keep going on as you are, either you will give in or he will ... (read in full...)
I wonder how someone who says they love you, can be so cruel with their words and comments
Q. I am 52and my common-law wife is 46. We had an amazing relationship for the first 15 years of out 17 together, with only 3 or 4 arguments. We had always put each other first, and love and respect were two aspects of a relationship we cherished. ...
A. 29 September 2012: How common is the term "common law wife" and did you refer to her as that when she was wearing your engagement ring?
What happened here? For 15 years she showed no sign of the terrible temper her mother told you she had, the temper her sister s... (read in full...)
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