A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Is it truly possible for two people to stay faithful to one another for many years? I'm starting to lose hope! It seems like loads of people are finding their partners cheating on them on line, sexting, etc :( Can anyone be satisfied just by being sexually intimate with one person for many years??? I guess I'm curious as my bf has been hinting that he wants us to get married, but I wouldn't want to end up as a wife who gets cheated on :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Hi
Yes ofcourse it is,I fr one know way more happy faithful couples than I do cheaters.
A
male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (19 July 2012):
Yes, of course people can be faithful indefinitely.
That said, of a much more pressing issue is your last statement - "I dont want to be a wife cheated on." That sounds like a much more specific statement about your bf than marriage in general, and if thats the case you should be more critical of him rather than marriage in general.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 Yes, it is possible, and they are the people we dont hear from here, they are just going about their daily lives, living and loving each other with no reason to mention their faithfullness or fidelity, which means the only ones we hear from at the cheaters and cheated!
If your boyfriend has given no reason to think he is a closet cheater dont let an irrational fear stop you from committing or being committed to!
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 For me, the easiest thing in the world is to be honest and faithful. If you love a person and have had a good upbringing where you have been taught to respect and value others, then honesty and faithfulness don't even have to be imposed on you...its a part of who you are.
I'm curious though, why are you asking this question? Has your boyfriend ever given you any reason to doubt him? If not, then maybe you're just feeling paranoid looking at all the failed relationships around you, which have been caused by cheating.
I suggest you focus on the positives and don't let unfounded fears get the better of you. Sometimes we practically kill ourselves assuming that the worst will happen and in that overwhelming fear, we cease to live in the present. Don't do that to yourself. If you are sure that your boyfriend is a good person and has never hurt you then you have nothing to worry about. But be sure of your feelings first and listen to your inner voice.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2012): Not everything is black and white. Yes, it's possible to stay faithful, of course, people do, but many have extra marital affairs. And the reason for it is that after 10-15 years excitement is not there anymore. It's a normal process, there is nothing to be sad about it, it is just how it is.I don't believe when people say that after 30 years they are still sooo excited about their partner.They might love their partner, that's a different thing, but as far as excitement goes, I don't think so. It's just impossible to keep that first feeling up for such a long time. Of course you can try all kind of kinky stuff, sure why not, it might work for a little bit.People cheat for different reasons. Some cheat because that's how they are. They will cheat in any marriage with any person.Some cheat because they are unhappy in this particular marriage, but as soon as they find someone who they are comfortable with they won't cheat.Thats a different thing though. If they don't cheat it doesn't mean they are incredible excited about their partner. It means often that they are so happy otherwise and comfortable that they wouldn't dare to risk it.Some don't cheat for religious reasons, even those who have no sex in their marriage. They prefer comfort to a messy exciting relationship.I personally don't know anyone who didn't cheat. At one point there was a slip with every couple I knew and know. But noone divorced, they worked through it, because there were children to raise, mortgages to pay. Also I want to add that most of these people did it once. I don't know if they stayed together if it was ongoing issue. I think in some situation it's just unwise to ruin everyone lives because of someone meaningless act. My opinion.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (19 July 2012):
 it all comes down to character of both people. the main thing is to know , really know the person you are marrying, their good, and bad traits.
marry the one you cant live without , not the one you think you can maybe live with.
i have been married to the love of my life for 29 years now.
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 I might not be the best person to answer this since i just got a divorce after 30 yrs of marriage . I think it is possible for it to happen my parents did till my father passed . i know a lot of people who have however my ex wasnt able to ....
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (19 July 2012):
 I look at people who do sexting as lowlifes with nothing else better to do. Sexual compatability is important, but the lack of it, and at times when you can't have sex such as after childbirth, don't give people an excuse to cheat. You have to figure out how compatible you are before getting married. The ability to communicate and be truthful is important too. I would understand in rare cases where people only have sex once a year that one of them is tempted to cheat, then both people are at fault not just one person. The one who doesn't want sex should find out what the problem is (physical, mental emotional), instead of ignoring the issue hoping it would go away, or try telling the other person sex is over once children are born. They should at least attend couples counselling or divorce before going the cheating route.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (19 July 2012):
You have to be willing to try new things. It will definitely help if you don't think blow jobs, swallowing or rim jobs are dirty. Also I don't deal with selfish lovers. When your sex life is good and you feel like you are two people against the world, you have no interest trying out another person. When your sexual needs are taken care of you would not want to do anything to jeopardize the relationship, because you don't know when you will be able to find a passionate lover again as they are rare. You have to find out your preferences and see if you are compatible. Vanilla, BDSM, threesomes, ladyboys, fetishes, etc. If you want a man to be dominant but it's not in your man's nature to spank you, can you compromise, can you live without that fantasy to be dominated? What fantasies are must have, what can you live without? You have to be comfortable to talk about these things before you get married.
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A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (19 July 2012):
 I believe it is absolutely possible for two people to remain faithful, for their entire marriage. I'm of the mind-set that when you're truly ion love, and happy with what you have, you don't go looking for something else.
I spent the majority of my first marriage, always searching. I didn't flirt a lot in real life, but I was the biggest online flirt on the planet. I had online relationships long before my marriage became
"open". I spent a lot of time on message boards, and some of those old posts are still floating around the Internet. I came across them a year ago, and was shackled at how much I have chanced.
Today I have the kind of relationship that I spent my entire adult life searching for, and I have no desire to even look at another man. I don't even fantasize about celebrities.
So yes, remaining faithful is very possible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2012): its very possible if you both put everything you have into it the first sign of either of you pulling away which will tip the scales of love can destroy the relationship
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