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How could he leave and not say goodbye?

Tagged as: Friends, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 July 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 July 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am so hurt and brokenhearted! A very special friend of mines moved out of state, I knew he was moving, but he told me he would take me to dinner before he left! Ok, he ended up leaving a day early. We didnt get a chance to go to dinner, I can understand that, but what hurts me sooo bad is that he didnt even call me or text me or even come by to say goodbye. I have known him for ten years and I love him, I just really feel unimportant to him right now. I asked him, why did you leave without saying bye, he said there was no time! I cant stop cruing how could he leave and not say goodbye?

View related questions: moved out, text

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (8 July 2012):

chigirl agony auntMaybe he didn't prioritize saying bye because he is thiunking about coming back to meet you and hang out properly soon? Maybe he wants to come back and spend some time with you, instead of just rushing an saying bye in a hurry?

I don't know why he didn't just call you... but is he an aloof sort of person? My bet is that this just speaks of how he is as a person, maybe aloof and finding it hard to remember everything he "should" be doing, maybe he finds it hard to focus on several things at the same time. I he was focused on moving that means he didn't think about anything else. But if this is just how he is then it doesn't mean he does not care for you.

Maybe you can find a way for you and him to meet in not too long? Maybe next month yuo can go visit him?

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A female reader, couchcat United States +, writes (8 July 2012):

that was harsh of him but maybe it hurt him too much to say goodbye to you.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntHave you got romantic feelings for him? It seems excessive to be crying over such a thing unless really you are harbouring unrequieted feelings for him.

Men can be a bit blunt on the romantic front and maybe the move was all consuming and he just didn't think.

I am assuming that you are keeping in touch so maybe you could go visit his new place?. If he doesn't seem interested, maybe it's the right time to let things go and move on.

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A female reader, cute angel Australia +, writes (8 July 2012):

cute angel agony auntSo sorry to hear your hurting!I can imagine how broken hearted you would be,when someone you considered important can't take a little time out of their busy schedule and just say a good bye..first off I would like to ask you 1)is he going back for good??if yes then what he did was very wrong cuz he can't treat someone he knows for ten years like that,u deserve the last good bye'

2)Or is he going out of state for work purpose and would be back??if yess then he has a good opportunity to make up for what he did..

All I can say is sometime we give soo much importance to people,we give the friendship a 100% but don't always get back the same which hurts.so you asked and he said he was busy,next time you get to have a one on one conversation with him tell him how hurt and disappointed you were with his behavior and even a simple text wld be ok..!

And to you all I can say is 'DON'T MAKE SOMEONE YOUR PRiORITY WHEN YOU ARE ONLY AN OPTION to THEM'

Take care x

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (8 July 2012):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI've moved house a number of times, and as the actual move gets closer the minutes go faster. I have now got into the habit of saying my goodbyes at least a week in advance, the timetable for the final preparations is always tight, give your friend some slack, and let him know next time he is in town dinner will be on you!

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