A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My now ex and I have been on and off for 4 years now. Last year we split because she accused me of cheating and to me it felt like she wanted to be single so she didn't have to go with me places. She got pregnant early into our relationship, which has been a rocky road. After we were apart for 4 months in 2012, she had to spend a few nights at my house because of our son. We ended up getting back together and things were fine for awhile. We would get in a fight for a few days and everything was okay. Until last summer, when I asked her who she was with the night before. She replied "none of your business". I never really got a long with her family. I wanted her to live with me and she wouldn't leave her mother at the time. She was moving the next day and started calling me a piece of shi*t for no reason. I refused to help her move. Well a week later she basically told me that she needed some time and I left her alone. When I would try to go out with my friends, she would start calling me names so I would have a bad time. It went on for months where we would argue for no reason. Finally after 6 months apart, I just let go. She waited another 2 months and told me that she loved me but realized we couldn't be okay. I left it alone for awhile, and every time I had a minute to myself, she would demand I take our son and start a fight with me. I work different hours, and I started getting lonely again and she insisted to stay at my house when the baby was sick because she was scared (even though she lives with her mom). I realized it was a Saturday night and she couldn't go out because he was sick so she used it as an excuse. She told me she didn't have feelings for me and that was it. She went to my spare room and I went to my room. The next day she wouldn't leave when I hinted at it. We got lunch and everything was "normal". I left for work and she went home. I confessed to her that I had feelings still and she told me that she lost them because of negative things that I have said before she confessed her love to me. I noticed she would lie to me now more than ever. She said she hasn't met anyone or been with anyone since me. Part of me doesn't believe her because she would get caught in a lie all the time. Is it normal to feel like this after 10.5 months? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 May 2014):
 Yes, for some people feeling so up and down and not knowing which way to turn is normal after 10.5 months.
However, it I time you started to accept your life would be a lot more comfortable without all the drama.
Maybe once she sees you starting to settle down she might as well, lets hope so because the atmosphere between the two of you is not good for the baby.
If you do start to pull your life together again and she comes and tells you she has changed her mind and DOES love you after all, don't take her back straight away. Make bargain, no sex between the two for six months while the two of you WORK at being a team and ensuring this time it will last.
If you are both still keen after six months without the physical side of things you can be sure this time it might work .... and imagine the party the two of you will have after that sexless break!!
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