A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So there's this girl that I like and I've taken her out a couple of times now and just when things were looking up, she goes camping with her friends and sleeps with another guy when she was drunk. The next day this guy texts her saying he really likes her and wants to get to know her more. Then to make things worse her ex boyfriend pops up saying he still loves her and wants her back, which puts me in a terrible position.She hates hurting people so she can't decide which person to choose but personally I think if she liked me like she said she did then the other 2 guys wouldn't make a difference.Some guidance please?
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female
reader, shay loving u carelessly  +, writes (11 June 2014):
 If she cheated it shouldn't matter. They always say drunk minds tell the truth so she know what she was doing. Its no excuse. Obviously she knew what would happen if she got drunk. And to get away with it she used it as a defense mechanism.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 June 2014):
 time is wasting, grass is growing under your feet-she seems to(from what you say) be interested in other things and people. You might want to talk about a "time out" you know take a month or so off from one another see where she ends up. Good Luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2014): You put some effort into getting to know this girl and treat her well. She did all this with you and then jumped into bed a lot sooner with someone else she met a few hours earlier.
This is a fail for you. Its an insult from her.
You can treat her well but you can't make her want a guy who treats her well. Count yourself glad that you learned this about her before you got too invested. Cut your losses and move on.
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A
male
reader, methuselah +, writes (10 June 2014):
Hi, Don't waste your time. There will always be someone popping up. Move on and don't waste your time with her.
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A
female
reader, Intrigued3000  +, writes (10 June 2014):
 This girl is Trouble. You are just an option to her, which means she is not really that into you. I think you're better off finding someone else who is more considerate, loyal and more into you than this girl.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 June 2014):
 If she can't decide then she really doesn't want ANY of you. YOU are just all conveniently feeding her ego. YOU by taking her out and treating her, the ex by declaring love and the "camping guy" by lusting after her.
Honestly, I'd back of and look for a girl who isn't "spread so thinly" with her emotions.
And I'm sorry you don't just have casual sex with a guy if you have begun dating someone else. Unless you aren't that into the guy.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (10 June 2014):
 Well make her choice easy walk away. If she cant hurt someone and cant say no to sleeping with another guy then why are you even considering being with someone like her. She is not that into you and has no respect for you. Its sucks but you need to hear it so you can move on. She is not worthy of you and you deserve better. Be glad its not been a very long relationship and you have seen her for what she is. You decide to stay in this mess you will be miserable and always wonder when the next guy comes and ask her out or ask to sleep with her, what will she do?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (10 June 2014):
 Fooey to hating hurting people, what does she think she is doing by not being honest with any of you.
I agree with you, if she liked you the other two would not make a difference.
Give her a wide berth, you don't need to be a part of her silly games.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2014): I have a friend just like your date is. She´s always surrounded by many guys that wants her (her exes, her male friends, etc..) but she can´t pick up anyone so she´s always stuck in the circle and she doesn´t date anyone "normally". I think she´s really irresolute and confused and i sometimes have to pity her, because her alltime question is "What if" (he is better than him...). Maybe that´s the case of your date and I tell you - even if you date her, you´ll be always in uncertainity of many guys around her and so will be she. You have to decide if you want this.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 June 2014):
 Unluckily , I think you are right- in fact, to me it sounds rather obvious that she can't like you THAT much. I mean, she likes you somewhat, otherwise she would not even have come out with you on dates, but ... if she can't decide between the THREE of you, all in all she does not really, really like anybody- she likes the attention and being able to make guys vie for her favour.
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