My boyfriend makes fun of me, my family and my culture in front of others!

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

My boyfriend and I have been officially together for about 2 years now, but it seems as if we have been for 4 years when we first met. I am muslim and he is not inclined towards any one religion. I finally met his family in FL. We stayed at his parents' house for about a week and a half. I have always had insecurity issues about our relationship from the very beginning. I have always felt that I don't fall under the type of girls that he prefers. At the beginning of our relationship, I had trouble trusting him because he used to lie very frequently. While that issue has significantly improved since then, I still have trouble trusting him from time to time. After our trip to his parents' house, I feel as if he does not respect me, my religion, culture, or family. One of the best things about him that I have always liked is that he loves to talk and he is very funny. He makes both good and bad jokes about me, my religion, and family in front of me before and when I think he is being rude, I point it out to him and he stops. But, during our trip, he made a lot of rude jokes about basically every aspect of my life. I laughed along with his parents and friends because I didn't want to create a situation. I discussed the matter with him when we were alone and he apologized and said he would stop. But, the next day we went to see his sister and her friends and he did the same exact thing there. For example, we went out to eat with his parents and I was telling them about the college my sister is going to and he interrupted me and told his parents that my sister's school is "where the dummies go." Or, when I mentioned to them (during the same night/dinner) that my mom worked at the post office, he grunted loudly, making it obvious that he was trying to hold in a laugh (his parents are well off financially than mine). At another time, his mom asked me about Pakistan (where i am from) and what it's like there. I was explaining to her how i really like the cultural clothing and he interrupted me and said that "her (mine) sense of fashion is wearing all black and only so you can see the eyes." He then went on to explain how everyone in the middle east is filthy and the only sane people there are the Isrealis. I wouldn't have minded any of these jokes if he would have made them in front of me alone. But, the fact that he said these things in front of his mom, a woman who doesn't even know me well enough, was rude. I don't want him to degrade me like this in front of his parents because no matter how much he makes fun of my religion/family, at the end of the day, that is part of my life and it hurts to hear it come from him.

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