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My boyfriend keeps registering on dating sites and tells me it's just "for a laugh"

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 May 2014) 16 Answers - (Newest, 28 May 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Could some one advise me what to do please? I have found my boyfriend to be registering on different date sites. This is the fourth time I found out about it now. He says its just for a laugh and unregisters from them, but then secretly registers on one again. Is he to be believed because all I can think is that if it was just for a laugh, then why is he risking breaking down our relationship?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2014):

this is the 4th time you have found out but he`s probably done far more than you will ever know. the 2nd time you caught him should have been enough to to make you know what you are up against.

its up to you whether you put up with more of it now. you shouldnt even need to be here asking.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (27 May 2014):

Ciar agony auntHe's on the hunt, OP. He's not doing this for laughs.

Even if he were, as Honeypie points out, what sort of person goes to the trouble of creating an account just so he can laugh at others?

Definitely not a joke.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2014):

I agree with everyone else. He is no good and he`s cheating.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2014):

Sorry to hit you with this, but dating sites are for people who want to meet up for dates, relationships and/or in some cases for sexual intimacy. Has it not occurred to you what its all been implying?

You are worth far more than this.

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A female reader, bama_mobile United States +, writes (26 May 2014):

bama_mobile agony auntAdvise you what to do? That`s so easy.

Dump his sorry ass!!!!

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (26 May 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou ask: "Is he to be believed (?)" NO.

Case closed. Next.

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A female reader, Miss Led United Kingdom +, writes (26 May 2014):

I knew an online romeo once. Lie after lie, but he kept on doing it. I eventually dumped him because of it.

Whenever I went out and I met and talked to new guys I subtly asked them if they had ever tried online dating sites, because I never wanted to think about or compete with a dating site again, honestly, Im telling you.

Get rid of the clown. If he was that much of a good catch, he wouldnt have to use dating sites to cheat on you. Yes I said cheat on you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2014):

I too went through the exact behavior from an ex. That is why he is an ex.

It went on for years and never changed.

He is behaving like he is single, so give him his wish.

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A female reader, delightful84 United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2014):

There is nothing funny about this. Dump him. Dont listen to anything he`s has to say. I have had experience of a dating site addict. Nothing ever changes.

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A male reader, bronzed adonis United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2014):

bronzed adonis agony auntJoin a dating site yourself. See if he finds that a "laugh" or not.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (25 May 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI he looking for greener grass, keeping his options open - NOT looking for laughs.

Even if it was only for shits and grins, how callous is he to sign up so he can make fun of women looking for a good man? What a douche-canoe move!

Sorry I'd let him sign up for as many dating sites as he wants, because.. he would be single in a heartbeat.

And he keeps signing up because YOU haven't walked away yet, so what would be lose by signing up? Nothing... Maybe he'd lose a quiet night over it, but nothing else.

And he OBVIOUSLY don't really care how you feel about it.

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A female reader, llifton United States +, writes (25 May 2014):

llifton agony auntFor a laugh? Who's laughing?

It's time to dump his sorry ass. Why do you keep putting up with his lies? He's not doing it "for a laugh" - he's doing it because he's trying to cheat.

Break up with him. Show him that it's not okay nor acceptable. The way to do that is by not putting up with it like you've been doing. Put your foot down.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (25 May 2014):

Aunty BimBim agony auntFour times you are aware of.

The reason he is risking your relationship is because you have not acted the previous four times so he is pretty sure you wont act the fifth, sixth or seventh time either.

He knows it hurts you but does it anyway. He doesn't care, and there is your answer.

Either leave him or put up with it, those are your choices.

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A female reader, Got Issues United Kingdom +, writes (25 May 2014):

Got Issues agony auntWhy? Because he can. Obviously if it's happened at least 4 times and you're still together, he's no longer worried about the relationship breaking down as he can get away with it. The only one who's laughing here is him, at you. He doesn't respect you.

I can guarantee you it's not just for a laugh. He's out there looking for other women. I don't want to be hurtful, but by looking for ways to fix things and change his behaviour you're just burying your head in the sand. He's not going to change. He thinks it's fine. Funny, even.

If you were to give him an ultimatum, would you be able to stick to it? If you adopted a zero tolerance policy and you found his profile on another dating website, would you leave him immediately? If not, then you just have to accept that this will happen, over and over, and that you will lose a little bit of your confidence and self-respect every time it does.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2014):

It doesn't seem to make YOU laugh! So, I guess it's not that funny. I think the guy is messing around behind your back; and you have to decide it's time to move on. Apparently he's getting laughs with other women.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntI think you need to stop being so guiliable. If he is registering on dating sites its to chat to/meet other people. When he says "its just a laugh" maybe his idea od a great joke is to cheat?

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