Should I call his bluff and leave?
Q. So, when I met my partner (stanley) he worked as a builder for a bloke (trevor)for £100 cash a week (if he was lucky). I persuaded him to go out and get a full time job so we could move out together and everything was lovely, we were both so happy. ...
A. 16 January 2015: The problem with ultimatums, or threats, is that if you don;t follow through they will lose their impact and your words will mean nothing.
Before you leave make sure you have an exit plan, that you know you have somewhere to go, and that you and ... (read in full...)
Perfect girl, but we are in the perfect storm.
Q. Ok so this is where it starts, I had been living in Shanghai for about 1 year at the time of meeting my current GF. She is Chinese and just 20yrs old now. I am 29. We share just about everything in common, with both dj, Im a chef, she loves to...
A. 16 January 2015: Deflecting her reach so she cant take the money to the machine for counting, why? If there is a machine there surely the usual thing to do would be to use it, why did you feel it was necessary to rebuff her in such a way? You admit you did it with ... (read in full...)
My fiancee seems to not try to impress me anymore or even bother having sex with me.
Q. Im getting married in a year and a half to my fiancee. We have an 8 year age gap and I love him very much. With the past month though I feel I am cracking up.I'm not sure am I just over thinking or what but I feel he is letting me down alot. It all ...
A. 16 January 2015: I think you are right, he is taking you for granted. After all there is no reason for him to try and impress you, he already has you right where he wants you, reliant on him for everything, even a bit of conversation it seems.
Why are you sitting ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want his expensive birthday gift, and I can't get my money back!
Q. I got my boyfriend an pretty expensive bday gift. I got us a cabin as a weekday getaway. I planned everything including food and transportation. I wanted to surprise him and he doesn't want to go. He says he'll be hungover and he wants to go out ...
A. 16 January 2015: Tell him you hope he has a lovely birthday, and take a good friend (female), sister or your mother with you and enjoy the fruits of your labour. You worked hard for the money that you have spent on the ingrate, so you go and enjoy it!
... (read in full...)
Flirting with my best friend's wife...should I go further?
Q. My best friend started dating this girl years ago. My gf at the time and her were bffs. My friends gf and i had this chemistry that is so lustful and exciting. We would mess around a bit and eventually it came out in the open. We admitted guilt and ...
A. 15 January 2015: Why don't you ask her husband for his opinion seeing he was, according to you, not phased the last time you and his wife messed around?
Maybe he was prepared to forgive her once but twice means the end of their marriage, or maybe he will be total... (read in full...)
Are their behaviors suspect?
Q. This married guy is commenting more and more. And liking more and more of a female acquaintance's ingram profile. He likes other female profile pics. But with this female, they are basically having back n forth conversation about each other's photo ...
A. 13 January 2015: Unless you or I are the wife is it any of our business?
... (read in full...)
Wife wants me to sleep with another girl?
Q. The other day my wife and me were having an argument about me being extra comfortable with other girls. I'm just friendly and never over friendly with them but she feels otherwise. During this argument she tells me that 'she would really like me to ...
A. 13 January 2015: She didn't mean it, you know she didn't mean it, she spoke in the heat of the moment, maybe you should consider your wife's feelings if she feels you are focusing on other girls too much and maybe stop watching porn, and show by your actions, not ... (read in full...)
I unfriended his new Gf. Should I call him and question why my ex suddenly blocked me? We were on speaking terms.
Q. Dear Cupids, I was coping ok after finishing with a guy I had a quick fling with and we remained friends on Facebook for a bit. However, I unfriended his current partner for obvious reasons and now he has blocked ME!! - and I can't cope!! I was ...
A. 13 January 2015: It has all been online, you didn't ever go out with him, from previous questions it seems you never even met him face to face.
It would appear he has connected with your friend, I think that is what is rankling you, she is the winner which ma... (read in full...)
I unfriended his new Gf. Should I call him and question why my ex suddenly blocked me? We were on speaking terms.
Q. Dear Cupids, I was coping ok after finishing with a guy I had a quick fling with and we remained friends on Facebook for a bit. However, I unfriended his current partner for obvious reasons and now he has blocked ME!! - and I can't cope!! I was ...
A. 12 January 2015: You need to let go and find a new hobby. Your obsession with this couple is very unhealthy:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-was-too-shy-to-start--.html
http://ww... (read in full...)
How do I get over this irrational fear?
Q. Please help me with this irrational workplace fear!? I have accrued a lot of vacation time at work (3-5wks) and my boss says I must take it in the next 6-7 months,(I have no choice in the matter, pressure is being out on her from management ...
A. 12 January 2015: 3 to 5 weeks of leave is not so much, but I can understand management's desire to make sure staff don't accrue too much leave, there are issues of leave loading, rosters, and other admin requirements that make it more desirable for staff to take ... (read in full...)
The paternity test has confirmed that she is 100% his daughter. But he's been avoiding me. What is my next step?
Q. I was in a relationship with someone then we broke up so I started seeing a new guy. The relationship really didn't turn into anything longer or what I wanted and so the first guy and I got back together. The first guy pursued more than the se...
A. 11 January 2015: It is not up to your friend to be telling him the results of the paternity test, that is up to you, or the courts.
Pick up the phone and give him a call, ask him if he would like a copy of the results for his records. Let him know that you unde... (read in full...)
I still love this guy, my sexual partner and father of my children. But has my declaration about marriage driven him away?
Q. I have three children. The first two are in their early 20's and left home. My youngest is 11 and from a relationship with a man I have know for over 30 years. He is a great father to the children, but about 2 years ago I decided to stop ...
A. 11 January 2015: The problem with ultimatums is that we often don't get the desired result.
What we have here is an impasse. A situation where negotiations are at an end and there is no way forward, and no way back.
You told him what you want, he listened, and... (read in full...)
Its only been five months but he is pushing me to move in
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months. I am 32 and he is 37. Both of us never been married without children. He is being kind of pushy lately about us progressing forward. Meaning wanting to move in together, looking for rings, and talking ...
A. 10 January 2015: To clarify (keyboard problem) I think only five months dating is NOT ENOUGH time to get to know each other.... (read in full...)
Its only been five months but he is pushing me to move in
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months. I am 32 and he is 37. Both of us never been married without children. He is being kind of pushy lately about us progressing forward. Meaning wanting to move in together, looking for rings, and talking ...
A. 10 January 2015: I think only five months of dating to know each other enough to contemplate moving in together.
I am wondering what the reason is that you, when the time comes, will be the one to quit your job, and sell your house and pack up your life and move... (read in full...)
She picks and finds fault with everything I do. What should I do?
Q. Recently got engaged to my partner and we have been living together for the past 6 months. Over the course of living together I have found she is a real knit picker and i'm feeling like anything I do is never good enough, even when I do what I c...
A. 8 January 2015: You have had the talk, she knows how you feel, you had the talk again, next time the nit picking starts, look her in the eye, say her name to ensure you have her attention, and firmly ask "do you really want to start nit picking"? and if she ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking of cutting ties with my father -- am I being unreasonable?
Q. Im thinking of cutting contact with my dad as i dont want him in my life any more but would like some advice on whether i am overreacting before i go ahead with it. Im sorry this is so long. To cut an extremely long story short my parents divorced...
A. 8 January 2015: My eldest son (45)says he is only on this planet for another forty years and he has got too many things to do that give him pleasure that he is not going to spend even another 15 minutes trying to build a relationship with his dad.
Don't get me w... (read in full...)
She never asked why I dropped the friendship?
Q. Well I finally unfriended a girl who ran off with a guy I was into. They both had stopped speaking to me on Facebook, so because I was annoyed about the situation - I unfriended her thinking it would make me feel better. However, although I can't se...
A. 7 January 2015: HOW TO MOVE ON
1. close your facebook account for a month
2. put on a coat and some sensible shoes and go for a walk, even if just around the block
3. enroll in a night class or similar, woodwork or, pottery or Thai cooking, you will be in a comp... (read in full...)
He says he loves me and wants the relationship to move forward, but I feel like that's just asking for trouble!
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for about 6 months. I really enjoy his company. He is funny and very understanding. And very passionate. But over the 6 months certain things have been bothering me and Im wondering if I should really be In ...
A. 6 January 2015: Dear OP, this is from your follow up "And he tells me not to worry about it that he will find a way"
I hope he didn't pat you on the head like a good little woman when he said that.
Until he can demonstrate that he has indeed found a way to h... (read in full...)
He says he loves me and wants the relationship to move forward, but I feel like that's just asking for trouble!
Q. I have been in a relationship with a man for about 6 months. I really enjoy his company. He is funny and very understanding. And very passionate. But over the 6 months certain things have been bothering me and Im wondering if I should really be In ...
A. 4 January 2015: How does this man envisage the relationship moving forward, what does he think that will entail?
Has he really thought about what moving forward means, is he wanting you to live together? Is he going to pay rent, pay for food, will he keep his... (read in full...)
Lesbian cousins on a blood vow... halp!
Q. So im a lesbian and i happen to be in love with my lesbian cousin. Our relationship is going fine, and neither of our parents are homophobic, but we're wondering how they will react to incest. where i live incest has certain rules: sisters or direct ...
A. 4 January 2015: I think most of us have at some stage made a little cut and rubbed wounds together to share blood ....... guess what!! It is highly doubtful the blood of the other person entered our blood vessels, highly doubtful indeed, so you can relax, the only ... (read in full...)
I need your opinions so I can move on quickly.
Q. hello everyone, i'll try to make it short, but it may get longer ,so i apologise in advance. please do read till the end. the story goes like this: i met this girl 5 years ago in a social network. after 2 years, we became friends in facebook. i ...
A. 4 January 2015: It sounds to me she is playing games with you, blocking, unblocking, pulling you close with words of love and then pushing you away again ........ gaining your sympathy with stories (made up stories) about her bad ex boyfriend, getting you concerned ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont cope if they take his licence!
Q. I'm 16 and my boyfriend is also 16. He recently got a speeding ticket for going 89 in an 50. (I know, that's crazy, but he's a teenage boy, aren't they all? Lol) he has a court date set (which I believe is febuary 11) and Is scared they are going ...
A. 4 January 2015: Living in Australia makes it difficult for me to be able to advise if your boyfriend will or won't lose his licence.
It is quite possible of course that his parents will hire some smarmy lawyer to save him the horror of being without his licence ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my friend about how he acted towards me and my partner drunk?
Q. On Wednesday my boyfriend and I thread new years eve party. In total we invite 6 people and of which people were still relatively sober at midnight except from one of my male friends *James. unknown to us, *James had drank a full small bo...
A. 3 January 2015: I think *James knows he was an obnoxious prat spraying his sense of entitlement and jealousy all over your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend thought *James was going to punch him ... I think he probably was.
Time to remove this aggressive and n... (read in full...)
I texted her "thanks for ruining my relationship" and she just lolled!
Q. My gf of a year broke up with me due to my friendship with a girl. On hindsight I was more emotionally invested in her than my gf and I do regret my actions. A few days back I texted her (out of anger) "thanks for ruining my relationship". (When ...
A. 3 January 2015: It is possible she knows that the person who ruined the relationship was you, because you were more invested emotionally with her than with your girlfriend.
She didn't do that, you did.
It was probably the only response she could give, or w... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend that his friends acts differently when he isnt around?
Q. Hello. At what point do you think you should tell your boyfriend if his friend is being a little too flirty whenever he is not around but a total idoit whenever he is? My boyfriend and his friend grow up together from a very young age, ...
A. 3 January 2015: Sweetheart, if he chooses this so called friend over you, he deserves him!
But look at the past, your boyfriend has already chosen you, your boyfriend and you kept your distance from the friend until he was able to demonstrate he had changed.... (read in full...)
Am I just being selfish that I want a life with this woman?
Q. I have been married for 13 years (22 when married), have two kids of 10-12 years. Very soon we started having problems in our marriage. We were arguing all the time, and at my point of view, she was very negative, making a problem for ever...
A. 2 January 2015: A marriage without love and mutual respect is soul destroying.
If you do decide to leave your wife there are a few things that are very important. DO NOT leave your wife for another woman ........ you and your girlfriend need to be very car... (read in full...)
Why is my B/f so hesitant to let his ex know that he is with me? And if he's wanting to save his chances with her, why is he talking about a future with me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. Throughout this year, he has kept in touch with his ex. They speak on the phone to keep in touch. During their phone convos, he has never mentioned to her that he is dating me. I didn't mind...
A. 2 January 2015: You know, I was fine with his behaviour right up to where he said he told his ex he was "talking to somebody too". Talking to somebody? Is that what his relationship with you is? That was the ideal time for him to let her know he had a girlfriend ... (read in full...)
My crush at work is married so why is he acting this way towards me?
Q. I use to have a crush on a guy at work until I found out about his girlfriend. I thought the attraction was mutual but I decided to let it go because he was hot and cold and maybe I was reading into things. Anyway they got married a few months ago ...
A. 2 January 2015: What did you expect once he got married, that he would put a bucket on his head to avoid any interaction?
Did he know you were crushing on him, did he ever give you any reason to believe there was more there than interaction between two work col... (read in full...)
Why does he ignore me on Facebook now?
Q. Why does he ignore me on Facebook now? I had a brief fling with a guy who is a bit of a player. He has now moved on to some other girl which I was quite bitter about and we are not as close anymore now. He used to keep in touch with me since we...
A. 2 January 2015: Players who flit, like a butterfly sipping on the nectar (or having brief flings) from one woman to the next do not get close to people. The closeness between you that you refer to did not exist ........ he was there for the fling not the ... (read in full...)
I want to separate but b/f keeps calling me!
Q. Hi, my problem is my boyfriend. I want to go our separate ways but he keeps calling me and i don`t want to be rude so i answer. The reason i want to spilt is because he gets angry over little things, is controlling and borrows money and never gives ...
A. 2 January 2015: Sometimes we have to overcome those little inner voices that give us a bum steer, which is where the "don't be rude" thing is coming from.
It is going to be tough going against such an ingrained (and incorrect) thought, but you can do it ..... ne... (read in full...)
My daughter wont let him in the house, and my parents say to leave him
Q. I'm 43 been in a relationship over a year and a half I love him but he cheated on me with his ex, we got back together and I fell pregnant all my family are telling me to have an abortion and get rid of him I love him it's over between him and his ...
A. 1 January 2015: I think you need to listen to your family rather than this man who has a history of cheating and drinking and who does not work. He can't support you, he will simply drink up any money he can get and then piss it up a wall, sorry to be so crude and ... (read in full...)
Should I give up on Prince Charming? Says he won't marry me unless I agree to become a swinger with him
Q. I am a very attractive, tall, successful, and fun-loving 25-year-old young woman. I am deeply and truly in love with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Our sex is amazing, and the adventures we have together are truly unreal. ...
A. 31 December 2014: Some men cheat, some women cheat, but on the whole I think most people remain faithful to their partners, men and women both.
If you are old school and have a dream of a man who will forsake all others for you, then throw this one back in the ocea... (read in full...)
She thinks this is funny. How can I get her to understand that I don't like that she when we make love she lets off wind? Why does this happen?
Q. I have what I call a severe prob;em with my partner in that when we make love she lets off wind and never does do anything to stop it and when I said something about it she thought it was funny and laughed at me and wonder if I should end it with ...
A. 31 December 2014: Is she farting (from the back side) or queefing (from the front side)?
Queefing is caused by a build up of pressure during sex, and is quite normal. Google it!
Farting during sex is also not unusual, when you think about what happens during s... (read in full...)
He wouldn't commit so I ended it and bought a house. Now we might be getting back together...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years, and for the last year I have been unhappy with the progress we've been making. He asked me to move into his home a while back but point blank refused to commit to/discuss any more of a future than ...
A. 31 December 2014: You don't need to hear my sad story of woe, but based on personal experience, DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR HOUSE, or investments, or lose money for this man.
The fact you kept him updated with what you were doing and if he chose to ignore what you were say... (read in full...)
I said "yes" to a proposal but I was not ready
Q. OP's original title ** Call me crazy but I just accepted a proposal from my LDR boyfriend of 6mths. The problem is ever since then there are things about him that I know I won't be able to cope with. I get angry when trying to communicate with him...
A. 30 December 2014: There is no reason why you can't make it a LOOOOOooooong engagement, of around two years or so, there is no need to set an actual date for a wedding yet.
I would certainly not be setting any dates for a wedding after a 6 month relation... (read in full...)
He asked me not to email or text while he's abroad, because his sisters might see?
Q. Hi all, please see the other question for brief background info as i was already feeling nervous about where i stood. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/when-im-with-him-i-feel-loved-i.html bf of three months, i love him , he doesn't love me ye...
A. 29 December 2014: It all seems very odd, if he really wanted to contact you he would .. have you considered his family may be arranging a marriage for him while he is there?
I would be seriously rethinking this relationship if I were you.
... (read in full...)
Why does he keep me on Facebook if he doesn't want to be with me?
Q. Hi. After having a brief fling with a guy who I met, I called it off as he was losing interest in me and he has moved onto someone else now instead. The thing is - even though we don't have contact like we used to - we are still friends on Facebook...
A. 29 December 2014: Why are you keeping him as a fb friend if you are hurting?
he has moved on, the so called fb friendship is going nowhere, it adds nothing positive to your quality of life, only pain and a lot of questions with the word "if" in them, you are the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother dominates our relationship. What should I do?
Q. (Sorry, this ended up being a long question. It's a few issues, that all stem from the same issue. I think. I hope the below makes sense!) So I've been with my boyfriend for 14 months and for the most part our relationship is happy and health...
A. 28 December 2014: Stop being last on HIS list of priorities, and on YOUR list of priorities. Remove yourself from his list and put yourself at the top of your list.
If you have been around and around with this and nothing in the relationship is changing then you... (read in full...)
My brother and sister-in-law are keeping their new baby away from family
Q. Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this in advance. My brother just recently had a baby, its his first and the first grandchild. We have a beautiful little 5 week old baby in our family and everyone adores him. Is it normal to not ...
A. 28 December 2014: They are going overboard and yes, some people are like this with their brand new babies. It is not unusual behaviour for new parents and yes, it hurts.
It is hard to know what to do for the best ...... maybe go to your nearest GOOD book store an... (read in full...)
My boyfriend broke up with me Christmas night!
Q. Hi there... My boyfriend and I just broke up.. Literally on Christmas Day. And my story is gonna be quite lengthy but I really need some opinion of what you may think of it. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year.. And throu...
A. 26 December 2014: If you boyfriend is incapable of telling you when something is bothering you, and expects you to know what it is without talking, he needs to provide you with a crystal ball.
What are you doing trying to hang on to somebody who doesn't respect ... (read in full...)
Two separate lives... how can I help him?
Q. I'm a white girl that met and fell in love with an Asian guy, we had a baby over a year ago. His family have never acknowledged our baby or me. He used to visit them to meet his children to his ex partner who is also white btw. In the end and ...
A. 24 December 2014: I am going to make a BIG ASSUMPTION here:
If he was still in a relationship with his now ex partner when you and he met and fell in love, and then had a child it could take a very long time for this situation to resolve itself.
There will be... (read in full...)
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