It's been so many years and this guy still continues to pursue me.
Q. I met this guy in 2014 at an academic international conference. We were both representing our country in our respective disciplines. I was in a deadbeat relationship at that time and this guy was married. We hit it off really well and at time at ...
A. 8 March 2022: Tell him, point blank, that you are happily married and do not think it would be a good idea to meet up with him, as you two would have different agendas for the meeting.
To be honest, in your shoes I would have cut contact with him after th... (read in full...)
Wife had a secret hysterectomy
Q. Wife and I have been married for years. For years we (or I) tried to impregnate my wife. After many Dr. Visits to see if it was me, wife claimed it was her. We went on with life. Few months ago I was going through papers I found on a closet. ...
A. 6 March 2022: Seriously, dude? You would have needed to have been away from your wife for weeks not to notice something wrong.
I suspect one of two things is going on here:
- EITHER you had the thought - or someone else planted the thought in your head - t... (read in full...)
He doesn't have a job. what should I do?
Q. I need some relationship help? My fiancé and I have been together going on 6 years. He proposed to me when we were together only 6 months but I wanted to wait to get married to see how things would play out because I was in a previous relationsh...
A. 5 March 2022: So, let me get this straight . . . You stay with a man who mooches off you and refuses to take responsibility for himself because he is good looking and you would be jealous if you saw him with another woman? Sister, you should feel SORRY for the ... (read in full...)
Do you think I was unfair?
Q. I recently had a break down in a relationship and am struggling with feelings of guilt and regret, I am 64 and my "boy"friend was same age. He was in rented lovely cottage in great location but very expensive, he had lost his property previous...
A. 3 March 2022: Reading your post, I suspect I know why his ex wife divorced him. Thank goodness you kept your wits about you and didn't do as he demanded of you.
... (read in full...)
Is it worth being alone for decades?
Q. Hi everyone To keep a long story short, I’ve fallen for a man who’s wonderful and makes me happy. He is 20 years older than me. I am not worried about the happiness factor DURING the relationship, I’m more concerned about him dying 20 yea...
A. 3 March 2022: So, let me get this right . . .
Just in case he dies before you and you don't manage to find anyone else, you will give you happiness NOW?
What a strange way of thinking. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, regardless of age. The only th... (read in full...)
I still think of my former lover
Q. I had an affair that I ended nearly three years ago. I don’t need to be lectured on my poor choices - nor do I justify them, but there are many layers to the complete story. On a positive note, my husband and I have made tremendous progress in our ...
A. 28 February 2022: Unless you have a lobotomy, you will probably always remember this man, regardless of the fact this affair could have cost you your marriage. You are very lucky that your husband has the capacity to forgive and to work at repairing your marriage. If ... (read in full...)
Practical joker or potential stalker
Q. Dear Cupid Does anyone have any experience of a married man who might try to cause havoc in a woman's life if she rejects his advances, and would this be just a case of spite or is evidence of some kind of stalking? I am single and have been talkin...
A. 28 February 2022: You have no proof that he is actually behind the unwanted mail and attention. These events could be complete coincidence. After all, most of us receive unwanted mail and unrequested attention from time to time. Even if he IS the culprit, we could ... (read in full...)
Dont know whenever to end this relationship cuae of his anger issues
Q. The past couple of days he was all over me with cuddles and kisses and affection today he was was cold he talks behind my back and he's a completely different person . Only.yesterday we was talking of marriage and future . Only yesterday we was...
A. 26 February 2022: Like WiseOwlE, I too got part way through your post and realized it was just a vent and that it is pointless telling you to leave this man because you are not ready to do so. You think you can "fix" him. Sweetheart, if you don't take notice of ... (read in full...)
Female porn star has taken a shine to me
Q. since I have broken up with my girlfriend, I’ve been feeling lonely and a bit lost of late. was on facebook the other day and came across this lady who is from los angles. she’s really beautiful and we immediately became friends on facebook. she ...
A. 26 February 2022: Oh dear. Are you really so gullible and naive in your 30s? Or is this a fantasy you think would be fun to tease us with? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it is realm, in which case every bit of your post screams SCAM! You ... (read in full...)
Female friend / colleague blanks me outside of work
Q. A girl started working for me a couple of years ago and we hit it off instantly. We had a similar sense of humour and although she is a bit socially awkward (by her own admission), we just seemed to get each other and enjoyed each other's ...
A. 26 February 2022: Have you asked your partner what their views are on this? You don't have to be physically/sexually involved with someone to drain energy from your main relationship - and that, my friend, is what is termed as an "affair".
None of us can guess wh... (read in full...)
Happily married but attracted to the Zumba instructor
Q. Hi, so I'm in an uncomfortable situation because I'm married and I do love my husband very much, but I have developed a crush on someone else. My husband and I have been married for 7 years now and we still love each other so much. We have both ...
A. 25 February 2022: Being in a relationship, even a good one, does not stop us being attracted to other people or appreciating them. What we choose to DO about that attraction is, however, what defines our moral compass. You can't help admiring someone or feeling ... (read in full...)
My husband sees nothing wrong with prostitution
Q. Hubby and I were chatting. We watched a program and it featured a prostitute. I asked if he would condemn a woman for her past if she was a prostitute before he met her. He said no he would not. He said if it was in her past and she no longer does ...
A. 25 February 2022: Wow! Easy to tell you have never been in a desperate situation in your life, where you have had to do something you didn't want to do to survive. Do you think women CHOOSE to be prostitutes? Do you think they do it because they enjoy being groped ... (read in full...)
How To Move Forward After a Toxic Relationship
Q. I think I may be trauma bonded to my ex and I am trying to get the heck over myself. How do I do this? This was a relationship that grew out of the pandemic and still feels so big to me. Everything I experienced in this was on another level. I wa...
A. 23 February 2022: When you are eventually truly over this guy, you will come out the other end a much stronger and wiser person. You fell for him badly. You now understand how manipulative people can be. Equally you understand how someone can get sucked into a ... (read in full...)
The barmaid has accused me of harassment
Q. I normally like to go down to a working mens club and play snooker with some of the members, sometimes they want to play other times they do not or can’t be bothered. anyway I’ll try not to make this long and try to make it sound as though it makes...
A. 20 February 2022: Sounds like the same poster.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-i-sue-the-work-colleague-for-libel.html
... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of the Covid vaccine
Q. I'm so scared, as my partner and parents have taken the vaccine. I wondered if anyone has had any luck convincing loved ones not to get boosters? If so, I would love to know how you were able to do that? I'm so scared of losing everyone I l...
A. 19 February 2022: To the anonymous male reader whose father died (doesn't state whether it was FROM Covid or WITH Covid): while I am very sorry for your loss, I would like to know how you were privy to confidential medical information about all the other patients on ... (read in full...)
Should I set my dad up with one of my friends?
Q. One of my girl friends has fancied my Dad forever even when he was married hence making my Mom jealous. Now my Moms passed should I set them up? If so then how? ;-) ...
A. 19 February 2022: They're both adults. Leave them to sort out their own dating. ... (read in full...)
My partner blames me for ruining his 30 year friendship
Q. Got a problem and could use some objective advice. I am in a long term relationship. My partner and I broke up about 3 years ago. I was feeling torn apart and upset after the break up and I became vindictive as a result. I cannot say I am proud of ...
A. 19 February 2022: Before I move onto your post per se, I want you to do something. Take a spotless unblemished sheet of paper and examine it closely. Now screw up that piece of paper into a ball as tight as you can. When you have done that, straighten out the paper ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of the Covid vaccine
Q. I'm so scared, as my partner and parents have taken the vaccine. I wondered if anyone has had any luck convincing loved ones not to get boosters? If so, I would love to know how you were able to do that? I'm so scared of losing everyone I l...
A. 18 February 2022: All you can do is plant seeds and hope something grows. They have a right to make decisions about their own bodies, regardless of whether you agree or not, just as you have a right to decline this experimental treatment. Yes, it is still ... (read in full...)
The barmaid has accused me of harassment
Q. I normally like to go down to a working mens club and play snooker with some of the members, sometimes they want to play other times they do not or can’t be bothered. anyway I’ll try not to make this long and try to make it sound as though it makes...
A. 18 February 2022: Wow! What a lovely person you are! NOT!
You are angry, bitter, entitled and have zero respect for anyone. You refer to them as "some old fart", "an oink of a family", "as rough as a butchers dog" or "a couch potato who sits on his backside... (read in full...)
Keen to hear your take on my weirdo neighbors!
Q. For anyone with an interest in psychology/human behavior, I'd LOVE to hear your opinions. I'm a sensitive person and usually have a pretty good gut instinct bout people. My new neighbors, a married 50's couple, put my stomach in knots! Firstl...
A. 17 February 2022: Perhaps the question you should be asking yourself is why are you so obsessed with your neighbors? For someone who professes "My partner and I are private, quiet people. We enjoy hanging out at home - live a quiet life. Not nosy.", I have to say you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend isn't very considerate toward me
Q. *I want to apologise for the length of this post, but details are needed to explain the situation as best as possible* I have been dating my boyfriend for exactly two years and it has been a generally happy relationship. Despite the fact we got ...
A. 16 February 2022: You two have very different expectations of a relationship. He want someone who will look after you in certain situations, while your boyfriend is much more outgoing and expects his girlfriend to stand on her own two feet in social situations, ... (read in full...)
Cheating at work, narcissist, manipulator gas lighter.
Q. Met a guy at work, left my ex for him 5 years ago. guy at work had a reputation for being a womaniser. The whole time we were together never met his family, friends always hd separate christmases. End of 2018 he started another affair at work with ...
A. 15 February 2022: He's right; you ARE crazy. Despite everything that he has done to you, despite the way he has used and abused you, you still profess to love him and want someone - even a complete stranger on a public forum - to tell you there is some sort of hope ... (read in full...)
I gave my homeless boyfriend my car to sleep in but now hes got some girl staying in it too. Do I take my car back?
Q. Im having a hard time with my bf whom is homeless at the time.he was living w me at my mothers but he wasnt trying to better himself to better our relationship .which upset my mother i was not willing to put myself out in the streets nd i did wat i ...
A. 12 February 2022: Is the car worth much? Can you afford to just "let it go"? If so, I would be the bigger person here, cut all ties but let him keep the car. After all, it is the only place two homeless people have to sleep. I promise, in the long run, you will feel ... (read in full...)
I have a good guy but I think I want out of the relationship
Q. I don't know what's wrong with me, my partner is good in a lot of ways. However I'm starting to feel like I want out of the relationship. I was a single mother before I met him and had reached a good level of independence. I feel in the relation...
A. 12 February 2022: Sweetheart, he may be a "good man" but you two are not compatible because he cannot accept that you need your own space occasionally. He is suffocating and controlling. He may "do things" for you but that does not give him the right to control your ... (read in full...)
Why is my ex saying we did not have sex when I know we did
Q. I split up with my partner last year for a few months and despite messaging him he never responded. Fast forward I had a few drinks and actually don't remember leaving the pub I was in but I walked to his pub and all I can remember was standing in ...
A. 12 February 2022: I am totally puzzled. Why are you ASKING him IF you had sex if you say you know you did?
As to why he is denying it, my guess would be, because he regrets losing control and wishes he hadn't - for whatever reason. You obviously split up for a re... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend have a crush on my friend?
Q. Me n my gf was at family party at the weekend we was having fun drinking and dancing etc when i went to the bathroom and came back my gf and my friend had their arms around each other side cuddling in an intimate way his arm was over her shoulder ...
A. 6 February 2022: Well, you know what you saw, regardless of what BS they are both trying to feed you. They are both lying to your face.
I have one question for you: can you trust either of them again? In your shoes I would cut ties with both of them. Don't ma... (read in full...)
How do I work through my dating anxiety?
Q. I have been on several dates with a great guy. He is such a gentleman, thoughtful, kind, and I really feel like I can be myself around him and he truly likes me for me. I thought this is what I always wanted! The problem? I have a dating history o...
A. 6 February 2022: If this man is totally different (in a good way) to previous dates, it will be unfamiliar territory for you, hence your nervousness. Someone being nice to you, liking you, being kind to you is not what you are used to - but it IS what you DESERVE. ... (read in full...)
Which contraception is best and will least affect my body
Q. Hi just wondering which contraception is best and will least affect my body? I’m turning 16 next month and going to start having sex with my boyfriend when I am legal. He said he will use condoms every time but I just want to be extra safe and go on ...
A. 6 February 2022: As we don't know your medical history, nor are any of us qualified to give medical advice, this is not something with which we can help.
Speak to your doctor who will have your medical notes on file. Discuss what would be best for you.
Alth... (read in full...)
How do I make moves on this older woman?
Q. My long time friend is getting married and asked me to be the best man in his wedding. He will be marrying in a few months after he graduates from university. He and I have been friends for a long time and have been attending the same university and ...
A. 4 February 2022: So all you are after from her is a bit of sex? I'm sure she would be really flattered to know that.
Do her a favour and leave her be. She deserves someone who is looking to have a committed relationship with her, for whom sex will just be a par... (read in full...)
What would be a sexy way of expressing my desire for her?
Q. Not too long ago after graduating from college I went to spend a vacation at a resort. It was planned to be a trip that a few of us were going to do together. In the end none of the others made it. I went alone to the resort. I thought it still...
A. 2 February 2022: Given that you have already "been there", I think it will be a given that you will be having sex if you go to see her again.
If you want to prepare the way, why not talk dirty to her when you speak? Tell her you've been thinking about her, are... (read in full...)
Should I find out who made these accusations?
Q. after working for a number of years at a car business. I decided to resign and move onto other things. people were sad to see me go, where others were pleased I was going. someone from work has said, who I don’t know that I’m slagging off their ...
A. 1 February 2022: How is this affecting you? Is it actually affecting you in any way, except that, now you know about it, you feel a compulsion to clear your name? If you hadn't been made aware of it by someone, would it have made any difference to your job or your ... (read in full...)
Should I let my teenaged daughter date?
Q. I understand that girls will always be more mature than boys. Naturally, girls physically mature faster as they go through puberty earlier than their male counterparts. This brings me to my daughter who is a sophomore in high school. She is smart...
A. 31 January 2022: I'm not sure dating can help a girl in high school in any way, but there again neither can sneaking around behind her mother's back because she has been forbidden to date.
If your daughter feels she is mature enough to date, then she should b... (read in full...)
I like. Him but don't want to date him
Q. I have liked a guy for 7 years but i still don't want to date him. When we don't talk i miss him and i feel happy and good when we do. I don't want him to get too close to me but sometimes i want his attention and time too.What is wrong?...
A. 30 January 2022: Why do you assume anything is wrong? You are only young; perhaps you are not yet mentally ready to date. Everyone matures at a different rate. You may have friends who feel ready to date but that does not mean you have to go there until you are ... (read in full...)
My husband says I am at fault for not trusting him but is he the one who is really at fault?
Q. Sort of beside myself. My husband of 9 years says I have anxiety and it is my fault that I do not trust him, because I have anxiety. But I think the fault is his. I recently found a number on his phone under Fed Ex and it was a young woman...NO...
A. 29 January 2022: I'll make this short because there is no need for a lengthy response.
Trust your gut instinct; you have one for good reason.
I'm sorry. Nothing else to say which would be useful. ... (read in full...)
What do these girls want?
Q. Do girls actually want you to touch or flirt with them in the stores? Are there any signs girls give to show they have interest? I seem to run into girls who seem to get very close to me, even bend down in front of me or bump into me at stores but...
A. 29 January 2022: You can react and still leave the ball in their court so you don't lose face if you have misread the signals.
Make eye contact, smile, say "hi". If they bump into you, say something like "Woops, sorry, busy in here today, isn't it?"
Under n... (read in full...)
What can I do with my hands when kissing?
Q. The girl I'm dating is great. She has nice hair, smile, and hips. What are some things I can do with my hands that will make her feel when kissing? There may be better things than leaving them at my sides. ...
A. 29 January 2022: No, definitely don't leave them at your side. That would just be weird.
Wrap them around your girlfriend's waist. Hold her face. Stroke her hair. Hug her. Put them on her shoulders. As the relationship grows and you become more comforta... (read in full...)
What do they feel?
Q. what do cheating wives think when they are about to feel strangers cock fo the first time...
A. 29 January 2022: It's obvious this is an issue you have with your wife, so why not just ask her? What your wife feels is not necessarily what anyone else feels. How will knowing the answer to this question help you?
Discuss the issue with your wife and decide w... (read in full...)
Do I tell my mom that I am dating her friend?
Q. I’m a 31-year-old guy, single, normal dating history. A few months ago, a friend of my mom’s called me and asked if I’d like to get together for coffee. I had met her at my mom’s house a couple of weeks prior and we had a nice talk. I thought ...
A. 29 January 2022: While I do completely understand your comment that is none of your mum's business, neither does it need to be a secret. You're 31. Grow a pair and just tell your mother you are dating her friend. You are both consenting single adults. You are not ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel embarrassed that I enjoyed anal sex?
Q. I tried anal sex with my husband for the first time the other morning and actually quite enjoyed it. But every time I think of it I cringe inside and I don’t know why. I just feel really embarrassed. My husband has only mentioned it once and that ...
A. 28 January 2022: Nobody can know why you feel embarrassed about anal sex. Perhaps because you were meant to not like it? Guessing because obviously I don't know. We're all different and what turns on one person may leave another completely cold. Each to their own. ... (read in full...)
Why is she lying to me?
Q. Hey, so I'd like to ask what to do as I was told awhile ago my partner was taking people home after work, not work colleagues shes taking men back to there home after her shift and she works in a pub. The pubs closing time is 12am midnight but shes ...
A. 27 January 2022: The question you should be asking yourself is why you are putting up with this when you believe you have proof of her infidelity. Is it a "familiar" scenario, given that your mother used to do the same to your father? Sometimes people repeat their ... (read in full...)
Is there anything my husband and I can do to help our sons?
Q. I have two sons. John who is 39 years old and Rob who is 37 years old. I always thought that my sons were close. Rob is gay and has been officially together for 12 years (dating for five years, married for 7 years). But they have been friend...
A. 27 January 2022: I can understand how painful it must be for you and your husband that your two sons do not speak. However, they are both adults and Rob has more than one good reason not to want to speak to his brother. Not only did John steal from him but he also ... (read in full...)
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