Wife says I am loud and she doesn't like my tone of voice
Q. Hi Aunts! My wife and I frequently get into arguments which begin with her telling me that she doesn't like the tone or volume of my voice. Sometimes she tells me to stop barking at her. Usually when this happens I am not raising my voice at ...
A. 21 August 2022: As someone who works (and sits directly opposite) someone who has a very loud voice, I can totally understand where your wife is coming from. I lose count of the number of times in a working day I have to ask my colleague to "shush", especially when ... (read in full...)
Now I think I'm wasting my time
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly five month. I met him through work. He came across really nice and I didn’t see any thing that put me off him, in fact I thought I’d landed on my feet. As time has gone, I’m seeing the real him. He’s ...
A. 21 August 2022: One of the best bits of advice I was given years ago was "don't waste time dating someone you don't envisage marrying/staying with". It is pointless staying with him when you already KNOW he is not the one for you.
End the relationship gently b... (read in full...)
My 6 years younger boyfriend acts like a brat
Q. Hi my boyfriend is very entitled and acts like a brat! I'm 6 years older, and all he cares about is getting high and hanging with friends. We have been together 2 years and it's been mostly bad. He works part time. I work full time and have a ...
A. 21 August 2022: Sorry, have had issues with posting recently, hence the "testing" post. Didn't want to go to the effort of typing a reply if the site was going to stop me posting.
You've wasted 2 years on this waster. Draw a line TODAY and don't waste another ... (read in full...)
My 6 years younger boyfriend acts like a brat
Q. Hi my boyfriend is very entitled and acts like a brat! I'm 6 years older, and all he cares about is getting high and hanging with friends. We have been together 2 years and it's been mostly bad. He works part time. I work full time and have a ...
A. 21 August 2022: Testing
... (read in full...)
What's his deal anyway?
Q. Three times I went out with a guy who I met through dating app, on the first date he said he deleted his account on dating app, but he has not and he has been seeing other girls. But he constantly keeps asking my whereabouts and what I've been doing ...
A. 7 August 2022: Not sure what you are asking. You went out 3 times with someone who you should really have only gone out with once, definitely not more than twice. The dates left you cold. Tell the guy it's been nice meeting him but you don't see a future for the ... (read in full...)
Partner does not listen or help during medical emergencies
Q. I am 65 and my guy is 68. In many ways he is very sensible, calm, wise, reliable and everything I could wish for. But I have an illness and sometimes it is necessary to ring for an ambulance urgently because I struggle to breath at those times. He ...
A. 6 August 2022: Blindly believing anyone in the medical profession is infallible and cannot make a mistake could seriously backfire on your partner at some point.
I know this from personal experience. If I had blindly followed instructions years ago regardin... (read in full...)
Should I just accept that the friendship may be over?
Q. Around 6 weeks ago , i had a slight falling out with two friends . i went out with these two friends to a nightclub in a different part of my town , quite a drive away . we had a taxi booked , my friend then asked me if i could book a later...
A. 5 August 2022: You and these friends are at very different stages of your lives. You may go out together but they will soon be moving on with their new lives at Uni while you stay behind. Find friends who are at similar stages in their lives to you.
Also ... (read in full...)
I wrong for taking this promotion instead of putting my niece and nephew first?
Q. During the past few years, I have helped my brother and sister-in-law with their kids (my nieces and nephew). My work schedule allowed it. I would often drop them off at school, pick them up from school, take them to practice (baseball practice and ...
A. 5 August 2022: Isn't it amazing that, instead of thanking you for all you have done, they are just upset that you are putting yourself first for a change and won't be raising their kids for them any longer? That tells you all you need to know about them.
You a... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I ask him to prove he's broke
Q. I married someone from another country 3 years ago. Unfortunately, they won't even allow him to come to my country on a visiting visa. So, I go visit him in his country. I have offered to move to his country, but he feels I'm not safe there p...
A. 5 August 2022: Of course your "husband" doesn't want you to move to his country, because then you won't be able to send him regular money. Also, you may cramp his style if you are not his only source of income. He probably has friends who are also scamming women ... (read in full...)
Is this a taking of advantage possible situation
Q. While there is a real-life situation behind this question obviously, I would like to ask this more as a theoretical question. Openly gay single dude asks genuinely straight single dude if he would like to experiment sexually and offers no strings ...
A. 4 August 2022: Of all the ridiculous ideas I have recently heard, this has to be near the top of the list. Proceed at your own peril. This will not end well. ... (read in full...)
Do I quit flirting with the guy at work?
Q. So there’s this guy that I work with and I have an incurable crush on him! the problem is that I don’t know if I should keep sending flirting signs or just give it a rest. I don’t know if he’s just oblivious and clueless or if he is simply just not ...
A. 31 July 2022: "Is it the age gap thats taboo, the coworker aspect (it’s just retail but he’s been there a long time) or is he just an idiot for not seeing that I’m clearly into him??"
OR is he married or in a relationship? OR is he simply flattered but not inte... (read in full...)
I know he likes me back and there's sexual attraction but then why did he say that he's not looking for a girlfriend right now?
Q. Hi! So there's this guy I like and I know he likes me back. We can both feel the sexual attraction between us. We've been talking and texting for about 3 weeks now and we've got really close. He's not someone who texts a lot but since we've beco...
A. 30 July 2022: I'm a great believer that TIMING is crucial where relationships are concerned. If you meet "the right person" at the wrong time, things are not going to work out. You have to both be in a place in your lives where you want the same thing.
This ... (read in full...)
Will he toy with me?
Q. There’s this boy I like, let’s call him M. I met him through social media a year ago, and even if we live 400 km apart, I’ve managed to see him in person twice. We have talked a lot and have also sent nudes to each other. Then there is this ot...
A. 27 July 2022: Most of us have gut instincts, which are there to protect us. You appear to have a reasonably sound gut instinct so trust it. When you say "my heart tells me I shouldn’t trust him", that's actually your gut instinct telling you to keep away - for ... (read in full...)
Married six months and ready to call it quits
Q. Ugh I don’t even know where to start… My husband and I have been married for six months we met about three years ago. Both of us near 40 and ready for something real. You’ve moved in about six months before we got married. I am now pregnant...
A. 24 July 2022: First of all, huge congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope everything goes well.
Secondly, a generic observation which you may/may not feel is applicable to your situation. You are both approaching 40 and, I assume, never been married before. ... (read in full...)
Is this behaviour normal ?
Q. Is it normal for a guy to be in “love” with someone and start dating someone else within few days of a fight and completely giving up on their partner , saying they will try to be friends now. This guy I fell for had a fallout with me and got a ne...
A. 24 July 2022: What is "normal"? Personally, I hate that word when used to describe people because everyone is unique. No two people are alike in every way. To answer your question, this is "normal" FOR HIM (based purely on the content of your post, which is all ... (read in full...)
Ghosted after 3 dates and sex. want him back.
Q. I (33F) met my dream man (40M) in a dating app. He ticked all the boxes and I was smitten. We went on 3 dates and had sex twice. I never had sex before with anyone outside of an exclusive committed relationship so he was special to me. I know he is ...
A. 23 July 2022: As with many of these posts, I have a question of my own: how do you know "he is in demand and has a lot of options"? If he made this clear to you, that should have rung deafening alarm bells in itself.
You say you had sex with him because ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is cheating
Q. Mod note: op has written several posts about this previously. I rang my husbands boss awhile back to asked him if my husband was cheating on me with the office woman. My husband was away the night staying in a hotel with his boss and other work col...
A. 20 July 2022: Firstly, a question: what planet are you on where you consider it acceptable to phone your husband's boss late at night? For ANY reason? (Drinking is NOT an excuse.) I am not surprised he didn't answer the call. How do you think answering a call at ... (read in full...)
Married unhappy and falling for another man
Q. Looking for advice Hi I am a married woman with two grown up children. My husband and I have been under pressure with various things going on I suspected he fancied other women at times which he didn't deny. We do try and work at out marriage.I a...
A. 17 July 2022: Being in a relationship does not stop anyone feeling attracted towards other people. However, what you choose to do about that attraction is what defines your morals. You don't have to act on every feeling you get.
If you no longer love your hus... (read in full...)
Dont know if marriage can be saved
Q. I am feeling so angry and hurt. I love my husband, as to why I still do, I really don't know. I want my children to have a household with both parents present. But is sacrificing my happiness worth it? In my marriage there have been happy times...
A. 16 July 2022: Call me cynical but if there's one thing years of experience have taught me, it's that someone who says "he/she has done this, that, the other, BUT I STILL LOVE THEM" is highly unlikely to be at a stage where they are going to leave their partner. ... (read in full...)
Friends come first
Q. I shall try and keep this as short as possible, but my boyfriend does not spend any time with me. However, he will happily make time for his friends. We have been dating for a few years now and like many relationships, we had our honeymoon pha...
A. 15 July 2022: You say he acts like he doesn't care. Here's a wake-up call: it's not an act. He has shown you in every way he can that you are not a priority in his life. Why are you still making him a priority in yours?
Start thinking about where you go from ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend does not seem interested in having sex with me anymore
Q. Hi all, Just wanted to post something and get it off of my chest and hopefully get a better insight as to what is going on. So, my boyfriend and I have been with each other for nearly three years and get on great. We moved in a few months ...
A. 9 July 2022: I've skimmed over the other replies and was horrified to see one suggesting you don't initiate sex and "see what happens". Let me tell you what will happen. You will both grow increasingly more resentful and the longer you go without having sex, the ... (read in full...)
My mistress is now my life partner but she is always worried I will cheat on her. How can I get her to finally trust me?
Q. I am going to need some help here. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 10 years. I met her as a married man, which is when we got involved. We both know having an affair was wrong so I won’t need critiquing on our past mistakes. We ...
A. 8 July 2022: Hear that sound, my friend? That is the sound of your chickens coming home to roost.
Your girlfriend knows you are capable of cheating. She will never forget that you cheated on your wife with her. She has absolutely ZERO reason to trust you. You... (read in full...)
Temptation to cheat? Or just spreading the love?
Q. Hi! I have been with my husband for 16 years and married for 3. Not as if this matters, but anyway! Since being married I have caught him a handful of times reacting to half naked girls stories on instagram. This has happened both sober and drunk....
A. 3 July 2022: Although you brush off the timescale of your relationship as being insignificant, I can't help wondering why you waited 13 years before getting married. In my experience - and this is just MY experience so may not apply to you - people usually get ... (read in full...)
How do I get over the guilt? I want out of my marriage
Q. Hi everyone, I have been married for 8 years and after a long and happy marriage, my husband and I are separating. Even though the marriage was happy, towards the end we had started fighting way too much and too often. and even though we still ...
A. 28 June 2022: Guilt is a pointless and useless emotion. I appreciate it isn't easy but you need to stop feeling guilty. You have tried to explain to your husband why you need out. You have tried to save your marriage by suggesting going to marriage guidance. You ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lied about his age lost trust
Q. Hi So my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have had alot of rough patches mostly because he's always asking me for financial help. Today however, I found out he's lied about his age for 3 years. He told me he was 5 years olde...
A. 25 June 2022: In the grander scheme of things, I would say age isn't crucial. HOWEVER, you have already had 3 years of "rough patches" due to his entitled behaviour towards you.
Only you can decide what is a deal breaker for you but, if you are going to quest... (read in full...)
Messed up relationship
Q. Sorry about the long post but I could really use help! Patience appreciated! I met this guy once during a group social event in a different country. I came back home without thinking much of it but we got in touch during the pandemic and got...
A. 23 June 2022: When people use terms like "soulmate" and keep mentioning "connection" (whether it's deep, effortless or magical), I just know anything I say will fall on deaf ears if it is not part of their agenda and their planned vision for the future. However, ... (read in full...)
Should I wait to be asked out?
Q. Hi guys! I haven’t dated in a long time, so I have no ideas what the “rules” are. Also, I haven’t been able to shake off the weight I gained during my divorce (it started during my marriage), which makes me insecure. And so does my age (45). My...
A. 23 June 2022: P.S. Forgot to add, as you seem to have your heart set on this guy, until you know there is no chance of a relationship with him, it might be a good idea not to date other guys. No stranger will match up to someone to whom you have felt attracted ... (read in full...)
Should I wait to be asked out?
Q. Hi guys! I haven’t dated in a long time, so I have no ideas what the “rules” are. Also, I haven’t been able to shake off the weight I gained during my divorce (it started during my marriage), which makes me insecure. And so does my age (45). My...
A. 23 June 2022: I suspect there are two people here who are both terrified to make a move as neither of you is sure of your ground because both of you have acted in a "professional" manner and neither of you has made it obvious how you feel.
There are 3 possible... (read in full...)
Should I wait to be asked out?
Q. Hi guys! I haven’t dated in a long time, so I have no ideas what the “rules” are. Also, I haven’t been able to shake off the weight I gained during my divorce (it started during my marriage), which makes me insecure. And so does my age (45). My...
A. 23 June 2022: Testing testing - as I am fed up of typing out replies and then the system crashing and not allowing me to post them. If this appears, I will reply properly. ... (read in full...)
Friend making things awkward
Q. My friend keeps putting me in awkward situations and I’m not sure if she’s doing it on purpose or not… Let me give you some examples.. The first incident was 3 months ago we went out shopping - she found this fancy scarve that she liked. It ...
A. 17 June 2022: Your "friend" is a user. The problem is that you are allowing her to get away with her dreadful behaviour. Bottom line is, she is actually stealing from you because she is getting money (or at least trying to) which you have not offered.
Unles... (read in full...)
Family never believed me that my brothers fiancé was bad news!
Q. I need somewhere to vent - I’m so angry. Several years ago my brother met this woman and it was obvious to me she was only using him. My brother is very successful, owns 2 homes and is a very generous guy. From my first meeting with her...
A. 17 June 2022: I feel your pain. I honestly do. I've been in a similar situation at work where I was accused of being too harsh with a commercial tenant who was not paying their rent. As I could see through him and his lies, he went bleating directly to the ... (read in full...)
How do I respond to mutual friends?
Q. HI again! Thank you for all the good advice you have given me. I cannot find my questions I have previously posted, so here’s a very brief recap: I managed to put an end to a lifelong friendship that had been imposed on me (a daughter of fam...
A. 12 June 2022: I think you are overthinking this. What would be so wrong with responding, "I think that she’s doing fine but we haven’t been in contact for over a year"?
Friendships run their course and end for many reasons. If your friend presses for more inf... (read in full...)
I don't want my step-mother at my graduation
Q. Hello, thank you for taking the time to read my question. I am 24 years old, I'm graduating from university in the Summer. I'm only allowed two tickets for each parent at the ceremony, so I'm inviting my father and my mother. My Father and I...
A. 12 June 2022: Sweetheart, you are an adult. Your father's new wife only has the power over you which YOU permit. Stop allowing it. How she reacts to the news that she is not invited to your graduation is up to her. It has nothing to do with you.
And stop all... (read in full...)
Don't waste your time time not doing anything
Q. I will be honest - I think times gone for me in the sense of achieving especially romanticly. Never ever in life expect things to just happen. When people say things will all work out in the end, or love only happen when you stop working for it ...
A. 11 June 2022: You think your life is over (or, at least, the best years are over) in your early-mid 30s? Wow. That's very sad. Also very untrue - unless you choose to give up trying and make it a self-fulfilling prophesy.
I see the same issue woven through ... (read in full...)
This new guy told me about his 'crazy' former FWB
Q. Hello, I've been talking to this man for months and we both like each other's. However, he never talked about taking the relationship to the next level, although he spends hours with me talking non stop, watch a movie together, and I do feel the...
A. 11 June 2022: What are you wanting from this man? As you mention feeling a spark between you, I assume you want more than phone chats, yet you have let this run on for months without even meeting. Why?
As he prides himself on his honesty, I would ask him to b... (read in full...)
My husband left me for our son in law
Q. I just learnt that my husband of 42 years has left me for our son-in-law who is 36. That's a 36-year age gap!! I feel angry and betrayed and am worrying about the future. We had a good marriage and I had no suspicions he was even hav...
A. 9 June 2022: Without even reading this, I know this is our fantasy writer. So many posts from them recently. What the hell is going on? ... (read in full...)
Can't get out of this relationship with a married man
Q. Please don’t reiterate how stupid I was to not see the signs, not know the obvious - I did see some signs, some uneasy feelings, but I chose to ignore them. I was able to find an excuse for everything. And now I can’t get out. We met two year...
A. 8 June 2022: Oh dear God. OF COURSE he is going to tell you how fabulous you are. OF COURSE he is going to tell you how special you are. OF COURSE he is going to make out there is nobody else as fantastic as you, that he has never done the things with anyone ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with him? I am not so sure if he truly loves me or not.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend/fiance' for almost 5 years. Things started off amazingly great and he was super loving and attentive. He took me to lots of nice places and bought me some nice gifts. My family and I also gave him nice gifts and took him ...
A. 5 June 2022: You should never settle for marrying someone because you fear the alternative is staying single. This is not a good reason to marry someone.
For me, the name calling and the inability to understand that some things are private and should not be s... (read in full...)
Howcdo we deal? Sons ex girlfriend in china says her baby is his
Q. Hi there. Asking for advice on dealing with this situation. My son told me "Mom, I've got some bad news. No other way to tell you, this, but my ex-girlfriend says I'm the father of her young daughter." He's only 19, btw. He then logged into ...
A. 3 June 2022: So, from what I understand from your post (sorry if I have this wrong), this girl has kept quiet about her pregnancy and subsequent child for 3 years. Are you absolutely sure this is not a scam?
If it is definitely the girl writing, I would wa... (read in full...)
How do I seduce my cute nerdy guy friend who has a secret hot bod?
Q. So I have a friend who is a guy who I have started to think about more romantically after I saw him wearing a spiderman costume which showed off his very cute muscles which I had never seen before. Side note he had the costume because he is a ...
A. 3 June 2022: For starters, do you think you could make up your mind whether you are male or female? Your profile says male but you say in your post you are female. I suspect you are female, from the way the post is written. Not that your gender is crucial. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask him to stop driving by?
Q. Met a seemingly nice, older man at my church [60s]. He offered to help me with some yard work. He never accepted pay for it, but would make comments like, "I have a lot of women friends and I love to help them." I kept getting the feeling he was ...
A. 2 June 2022: Is there anyone at your church who you can speak to in confidence about this man's behaviour? Someone who can perhaps give you advice on how to handle this? Or who could even speak to him on your behalf and explain to him that his behaviour is not ... (read in full...)
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