Are we going to reconcile or divorce - your impression please?
Q. Hi, So me and my wife met in 2018 and moved in with each other. We got married in 2020 and have a daughter born in 2021. My wife and I were madly in love and would do a lot together and spend 90% of the day together. Same job, same routine, same ...
A. 25 March 2023: I'm intrigued. This is the second time in recent times that you have split up, violence and police have been involved, and the only thing you are bothered about is whether she will have you back?
Let me ask you this: would you watch a film and... (read in full...)
Is my partner trying to get me to leave him?
Q. My partner puts me down in public, calls me names and talks about his ex and how other women with different hair colour to me look better. When I'm out with him he is constantly looking at other women on purpose. It's starting to wear me down I'm ...
A. 20 March 2023: Why are you only THINKING about leaving him? Why are you not busy making your exit plan and walking the hell away from this imbecile?
My guess is he is trying to wear you down to a point where you have no self confidence and where you think yo... (read in full...)
What is this married man doing??
Q. So, there is someone I know who I am NOT allowed to date. Think something like teacher and professor, or employee and superior. However, I don’t see him very frequently. I have a huge crush on him, which I know is awful on its own. Why do I fe...
A. 18 March 2023: To answer your second post, I think he knows EXACTLY what he is doing. He is yanking your chain, good and proper. He may even be having a bit of a laugh behind your back about how gullible and naive you are being. People are not always what they ... (read in full...)
What is this married man doing??
Q. So, there is someone I know who I am NOT allowed to date. Think something like teacher and professor, or employee and superior. However, I don’t see him very frequently. I have a huge crush on him, which I know is awful on its own. Why do I fe...
A. 15 March 2023: The question you SHOULD be asking is "why am I so lonely/insecure/[insert whatever description fits] that I am bowled over by a married man who I KNOW is out of bounds?"
Given his comment about not operating on social media, I would lay money th... (read in full...)
Friend wants her rude& spoilt daughter to attend my birthday weekend.
Q. ?If anyone can offer any advice I’d appreciate it. My friend has a 13 year old daughter who is very spoilt and has a very bad attitude towards everyone and everything. Before everyone starts ranting sticking up for her- I’ve know h...
A. 15 March 2023: I suspect I know where the 13 year old gets her attitude, lol.
In your shoes I would tell your friend that YOU don't want the daughter at your week-end because everyone will have to watch what they do and say in front of a child. I am sure the... (read in full...)
Girlfriend texted my friend for 5 hours. It was innocent but why 5 hours?
Q. Hello. I have been dating this girl for 3 months. We are in our late 30s. Initially it was her who fell in love with me and now I love her too. We meet like once a week and text from time to time. I introduced her to my best friend and we all hang...
A. 11 March 2023: How do you fix this? By stopping playing games and acting like the adult you actually are. I mean, a guy in his late 30s putting out a "don't care" image? Really? You sound like a clueless teenager.
Grow up and put some energy into this relation... (read in full...)
My ex makes little effort with our son
Q. Hi I just need a bit of advice on what to do regarding my sons dad we split up a year ago due to him cheating on me with my best friend he has our son twice a week for 2 hours a day and also pays no maintenance the problem is he won’t do anything ...
A. 8 March 2023: I don't know how old your son is because you don't appear to mention it but, regardless, I can only imagine how damaging it must be for him to only see his father so occasionally and then to only hear from his father how "naughty" he is. Personally ... (read in full...)
Wife gets spacey when I talk to her
Q. sometimes when i try to talk to my wife she pauses and looks out in space and say words that lead nowhere, can someone tell me if shes ok?...
A. 8 March 2023: Why would you ask a question like this of a bunch of strangers on the internet? Surely her doctor would be the right person to speak to about this, or even her family. Is she aware of what she does? Have you asked her why she does it? Perhaps it is ... (read in full...)
Wife gets spacey when I talk to her
Q. sometimes when i try to talk to my wife she pauses and looks out in space and say words that lead nowhere, can someone tell me if shes ok?...
A. 8 March 2023: Test... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with me for not wanting to celebrate my birthday?
Q. My family knows that I hate celebrating my birthday and I expect them to not to make any plans for my birthday. All of my friends know I hate celebrating my birthday and know that I only expect a text message from them that says "Happy birthday". ...
A. 8 March 2023: No, of course you were not in the wrong. Firstly, it is YOUR birthday and up to you whether you wish to mark it in any way or not. Secondly, you don't need to get permission from your family if you want to go away for a few days, regardless of ... (read in full...)
Wife spent wedding money without asking me
Q. My wife and I recently got married and for our wedding present, our friends and family banded together to pay for our visa and relocation expenses (we are long distance). Shortly afterwards my wife was poorly and ended up being too ill to go to...
A. 5 March 2023: I'm sorry, op, but this all sounds like a scam to me. `You are allowing her to walk all over you because "she comes before all else and I just want to know she's safe". It is commendable you think of your wife so highly, but how highly does SHE ... (read in full...)
Odd experience at a house viewing.
Q. I’m on here to see if anyone else has had odd experiences whilst viewing houses to buy? My fiancé and I are looking to buy our first property, so obviously we didn’t really know what to expect when viewing homes. None of our friends are home...
A. 4 March 2023: If it's true that "in the past 5 years the house had been on and off the market and actually sold 3 times but each time the buyer pulled out", the estate agent MUST have some idea as to the reason(s) why. Also, if this is true, perhaps the vendors ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on a bisexual man
Q. Hi Aunties, I have fallen hard for a guy, real hard. He is younger than me by 10years. He says he is straight, l am gay. We have kissed and cuddled and he sends me love messages and calls me his queen. He is real sweet with me. We stay in diff...
A. 3 March 2023: Do you even know for certain his girlfriend is there? Is it not possible he is pretending she is so he has an excuse not to see you while stringing you along until he decides whether he actually wants to experiment any further with you?
If so... (read in full...)
Former FWB still has feelings for me not reciprocated
Q. I’m not quite sure how to sort of approach this situation. It’s quite complicated but to go back to the start. 12 years ago I met my now husband - he was in a relationship so nothing happened between us at that time. I did however have a 4 year ...
A. 1 March 2023: I'm pretty sure I understand what is really going on here.
Your former FWB is yearning for "the good old days" when he was younger and carefree, enjoying no-strings sex with you. Now he has two children, who are probably draining his wife's e... (read in full...)
How do I tell my girlfriend I'm gay?
Q. How do I tell my girlfriend that she was right to be worried and that I am actually gay? Long story short my girlfriend always had this 'feeling I was gay' because I've had sex with men and I've always denied it, I don't know maybe I was hidi...
A. 25 February 2023: As someone who was in your girlfriend's position once, many years ago when I was young and very naive, I can tell you the fact my "boyfriend" lied to me, so he could pretend to others he was straight, hurt me much more than his sexuality. You have ... (read in full...)
How to repair a fractured friendship?
Q. Recently, I got into a big fight with one of my close friends. Needless to say, shamefully, I was the one at fault and became very over-emotional and angry with them at the time for reasons I could not comprehend while I was in an emotional state. ...
A. 21 February 2023: By your own admission, this is not a one-off and is something to which you have subjected your friend before. Instead of concentrating on trying to repair this one friendship because this is what YOU want at present, why not seek professional help ... (read in full...)
What if he tells others we had sex?
Q. I want my friend to fuck me, he usually comes to me and ask for us to fuck but I'm scared he might tell other's that we did it. I just don't want others to know. I'm a virgin but when he come around I try to hold myself but deeply I just want him ...
A. 18 February 2023: You are a teenager and your hormones are crazily out of control BUT - and this is a huge BUT - this guy is actually abusing you. Why does he have access to you while you are sleeping? Touching someone without their express consent is classed as ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend feels pain more than pleasure
Q. My girlfriend feels pain much more than pleasure while we're having sex which just makes it feel as if I'm doing something wrong. So to give you context, we started having sex last year in November. For all the while till last month or so, it was e...
A. 18 February 2023: Given your age, I would assume you are being over-zealous and rough when having sex (as many teenagers are). Women do not enjoy "porn" sex. Most like to be treated gently and every one will have different things she likes and doesn't like. Perhaps ... (read in full...)
An affair thats remembered
Q. why cant i forget an affair my husband had 20 years ago we are happy now but its alwas in the back of my mind...
A. 18 February 2023: I saw this somewhere once which I thought explained it perfectly.
Take a pristine new sheet of paper. Take a look at it. Perfect, yes? Now take it and screw it up as tightly as you can. Now put it down and smooth it out again. Is it the same as ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else experienced this?
Q. Has anyone else resisted a mutual attraction to an in law for years only to end up having a weak moment and doing the forbidden? I have been married for over 15 years and have two kids that are young adults. My marriage has been good a majority of ...
A. 18 February 2023: If this post is genuine and not just an attempt to get a cheap thrill from others' stories, wow. Just wow. Your poor wife. Betrayed by not only her husband but also her own mother, because neither of them can keep it in their pants.
I hope you... (read in full...)
I feel like I have the most pathetic dating life
Q. It’s bittersweet when I post on here bc 1. I know it’s bc I made an error 2. My agony aunts and uncles are so good at advising me. I’ve been posting on here since 2011 once in a while. So thank you for your kind words!! Here’s another one of my da...
A. 15 February 2023: Sorry, still having to test whether the post will appear as we keep having problems posting and there is no point in preparing a reply and then losing it.
You are seeing this as a reflection on YOU but I wonder, is it at all possible that the... (read in full...)
I feel like I have the most pathetic dating life
Q. It’s bittersweet when I post on here bc 1. I know it’s bc I made an error 2. My agony aunts and uncles are so good at advising me. I’ve been posting on here since 2011 once in a while. So thank you for your kind words!! Here’s another one of my da...
A. 15 February 2023: Test... (read in full...)
Unfriendly neighbor says hello after a year of avoiding me?
Q. The woman living next to me is the most confusing human I've encountered! When she moved in, I made sure to say hello, in passing, but she ignored me. Another time, I went to wave as she drove up her driveway, and she turned her head in the oppo...
A. 14 February 2023: I totally get that that sort of behaviour can feel personal and hurtful. However, you need to remember that it is usually not about YOU (a stranger who she has no reason to dislike) but about the other person. She is human. She has stuff going on. ... (read in full...)
I thought rebound relationships didn't work
Q. Hello, I am wondering why both of my ex partners have had successful rebound relationships after they broke up with me. The first ex has been with his now wife for over 20 years. Then, my ex husband (of 18 years) discarded me and family for a ...
A. 13 February 2023: I think you need to build into the equation that your ex husbands probably "moved on" a long time before the divorces. The second one especially will have moved on emotionally well beforehand.
Stop keeping tabs on them. I know that is easier s... (read in full...)
Do I tell my family about my biological son
Q. When I was in my early twenties, I got my girlfriend pregnant. We were not ready to be parents, especially since I was going to therapy for anger issues and my girlfriend just made one year sober. My girlfriend's sister and husband adopted ...
A. 13 February 2023: In answer to your question, yes, absolutely you should make your family aware of your son's existence. However, before you do so you should discuss is with your son and with his adoptive parents. It is only courtesy to make them aware of your plans ... (read in full...)
I don't feel comfortable about my mom's partner and she won't back me up
Q. Hi, sorry this question is rather long. I'm an adult and hopefully moving out soon, but I have been struggling with my mother and her partner. They have been together for 9 years after my parents' divorce. I suffered abuse from my estranged father...
A. 8 February 2023: Your mum's partner does sound a bit creepy and the things he has said to you are definitely inappropriate. However, you cannot expect everyone to tread on eggshells around you because you suffered trauma in the past. Horrible as the abuse you ... (read in full...)
Should I rethink things?
Q. He expected a thank you for getting a coca cola for my mother and asked me on the phone if my mother got the coke so I said yeah why? and he told me where was his thank you and I told him that when he asks for a thank you after he wants to do ...
A. 1 February 2023: So you would rather people didn't do anything for you than you had to say a simple polite "thank you" in return? Wow! Just wow! Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face.
I was brought up to say "please" and "thank you" and it comes au... (read in full...)
Did I do anything wrong by selling the four wheeler without talking to my brother about it first?
Q. I have a brother who is married. My sister-in-law has a little brother that is 13 years old. I owned a four wheeler that I keep at my house. I told my brother that he can borrow it as long as he asked permission first and he doesn't let his ...
A. 29 January 2023: You already KNOW you didn't do anything wrong in selling your own property.
However, as you have gone to the effort of posting on this site, I would hazard a guess that you are questioning your motives for selling the quad. Whether you sold it ... (read in full...)
I am too sensitive for oral sex
Q. I enjoy getting oral and it fills so good, sometimes it gets so intense that i pull away and can't handle the sensation. How can I become more relaxed. Why am I way to sensetive....
A. 28 January 2023: You cannot turn down your sensitivity but your lover can learn to be more sensitive. I am going to assume you are in a relationship with a man. The mistake men often make is to think "harder is better" whereas we ladies know, when it comes to oral ... (read in full...)
I am too sensitive for oral sex
Q. I enjoy getting oral and it fills so good, sometimes it gets so intense that i pull away and can't handle the sensation. How can I become more relaxed. Why am I way to sensetive....
A. 28 January 2023: Test... (read in full...)
How do I stop him from taking advantage of my kindness?
Q. Hello I have been friends with someone about a year. He works but doesn't make much. So I have been giving him money ( not alot) a bit for food here and there. Anyways, his bay came and he asked if I could give some money. I sent 75.00. He h...
A. 25 January 2023: Not sure what a "bay" is. The only bays I know have water in them or are a particular colour of horse. Assuming you mean a boyfriend/girlfriend? So not only is he expecting you to feed him but also his partner? And you went ahead and did it.
... (read in full...)
How do I stop him from taking advantage of my kindness?
Q. Hello I have been friends with someone about a year. He works but doesn't make much. So I have been giving him money ( not alot) a bit for food here and there. Anyways, his bay came and he asked if I could give some money. I sent 75.00. He h...
A. 25 January 2023: Test... (read in full...)
How can I have peace
Q. Hello I have been with my fiancee for about 6 years. The first 2 years were great! He was loving, attentive, and very charming. Then he turned into a nightmare. He lacks communication skills and gets angry very quickly. I've pretty muc...
A. 18 January 2023: Sweetheart, you need to start to love YOURSELF instead of this selfish nasty spoiled man child you call your fiancé. It is YOU who is too good for HIM, not the other way round.
If it is your house you live in, throw him out, change the locks, b... (read in full...)
Family pushing me to get married
Q. Im really struggling with myself. I have been advised to seek therapy online by my parents. So I thought I would ask here if I can pay for mental health therapy for getting married - and where you recommend this? I have subconsciously a...
A. 15 January 2023: Therapy is not a magic wand that can make everything "right" in an instant. And why would you need therapy just to be like you think everyone else is? You are YOU, an individual, unique. Stop feeling you have to conform to a "norm" that feels alien ... (read in full...)
How do I politely ask my friend to move out of my home?
Q. ? ?A friend of mine that I’ve know for over 20 years recently separated from her husband- she was struggling to find somewhere to live so she asked if she could move in with me and my family for a month until she found somewhere. S...
A. 13 January 2023: Why are you worried about upsetting her? She is not affording YOU the same courtesy, using your home as a doss house. She is getting free lodgings (and board presumably?) but can't even be bothered to keep her own stuff tidy or walk your dog. She is ... (read in full...)
Hurt over lost friend
Q. My best friend of many years is in an abusive relationship and has suddenly decided to cut me out of her life. When they first started dating, I wasn't wild about it. She has so much going for her and this guy just... doesn't. I tried to be supp...
A. 11 January 2023: I suspect the boyfriend is at least partially to blame for your fall-out with your friend. He realizes that the two of you together are much stronger than she is on her own, hence he has to separate her from you. Ultimately the decision regarding ... (read in full...)
Confused as to whether I want to get back with partner or not
Q. I was with my partner for 7 years until a few months ago which was due to a fight which lead to me moving out and getting my own place. The sequence of events went quickly but I have been enjoying having my own space again. We've been meeting each ...
A. 8 January 2023: Sweetheart, I know change is scary, but you cannot go back to something which was causing you stress, just because you are not sure whether ending it is the "right decision". I always ask people, "would you re-read a book and expect it to end ... (read in full...)
Need ideas to sexually embarrass my sister in law without being creepy.
Q. My sister just got me a mankini with bells and a rednose on the kini part. So in trying to get her back, I want some ideas to embarrass her but not come off creepy. backstory, the family has been together forever and never has been any sexually ...
A. 28 December 2022: Ask your wife what she thinks. ... (read in full...)
My friend used me to look after her kids!
Q. I feel that I’ve been used recently by a friend and it’s really upset me. A few days ago I had arranged for my friend to come over to my house for a coffee (we usually meet up at 1 of our house 2 times a month). That morning she arrived ...
A. 25 December 2022: Is she lying? 100%. Even if she "bumped into" the friend as she claims, she could have said "I can't stop. My friend is looking after my kids and I have to get back." She had the coffee date lined up, then got saddled with the kids because of the ... (read in full...)
Perfect husband sober, but dicing with death when drunk.
Q. Hi All, My husband and I have been together since we were at school, now we are in our early thirties so I quite frankly don't know where to turn from here. I have always known that drink hasn't agreed with him. Some chemical in his brain ju...
A. 24 December 2022: He doesn't "get it" because you have threatened this is "the last time" so many times but not followed through. He thinks he can carry on like this indefinitely.
You have to make plans and carry then through. If you keep doing the same thing - ... (read in full...)
Seeing that ex is engaged has thrown me off
Q. I broke up with a guy about 2.5 years ago. It was an unhealthy relationship where I saw red flags and knew we were incompatible, but thought my love could “fix” him and maybe if I changed certain things about myself, it could work. I have no idea ...
A. 18 December 2022: I suspect you feel "inferior" in some way to the latest love interest. However, there are many different things which could be going on here.
Perhaps she has lower standards than you do. Perhaps she has railroaded him into getting engaged.... (read in full...)
Seeing that ex is engaged has thrown me off
Q. I broke up with a guy about 2.5 years ago. It was an unhealthy relationship where I saw red flags and knew we were incompatible, but thought my love could “fix” him and maybe if I changed certain things about myself, it could work. I have no idea ...
A. 18 December 2022: Testing... (read in full...)
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