A
male
age
36-40,
*hristopher000007
writes:Me n my gf was at family party at the weekend we was having fun drinking and dancing etc when i went to the bathroom and came back my gf and my friend had their arms around each other side cuddling in an intimate way his arm was over her shoulder and her arm was around his back ,as I walked passed them few seconds later they separated didn’t say nothing at the time because I didn’t want to cause a scene also it had been the second time they had seen eachother because we all went out for drinks the week before...The next day I confronted her about it and she started gaslighting me saying it’s harmless and being so defensive at one point she started to cry she also said she doesn’t remember how it happened or seeing me walk past but I wasn’t buying it ,when I called up my friend to ask what was going on he completely denied the whole thing and said that I was seeing things which was very disrespectful I’ve only been with her 4months but thinking of ending it now…what should I do???
View related questions:
crush Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (8 February 2022):
 This relationship is still very much in its infancy, its only 4 months in, not really enough time to get to know someone i think you will agree.
I think that they are both lying to you, and now as a consequence there are now trust issues. Once trust has been broken in a relationship its often irreparable. This is now causing you stress, stress i'm betting that you don't need right now.
i think that your best bet would be to save yourself from future heartache and walk away from this relationship.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (6 February 2022):
 Well, you know what you saw, regardless of what BS they are both trying to feed you. They are both lying to your face.
I have one question for you: can you trust either of them again? In your shoes I would cut ties with both of them. Don't make a scene, just cut contact and walk away with dignity, head held high.
You deserve a better girlfriend AND a better friend. They, on the other hand, deserve each other. You can do better.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2022): At only four months into it, you haven't really invested a lot. Full-throttle love isn't there yet. That would make it easier to decide whether it's even worth it to continue. It's only the second time they've met, and you've already caught them in a compromising position? In this situation, I'd say one strike, and YOU'RE OUT! Neither fessed-up when confronted about it. You will never trust either of them when your back is turned.
First, the bro-code is blatantly broken. Keep hands-off each-other's significant other!!! Your so-called friend is caught hitting on your new-girlfriend. She lies once confronted about it, and all trust is now out the window. You saw it with your own two eyes! You didn't catch them having sex, but this is where it begins.
I think the best thing to do is save face and maintain your dignity. Dump her!
You can't trust her, or your backstabbing-buddy! She and your friend are too cozy for a couple meeting each-other for only the second-time. You can't call a guy a friend who becomes a blooming opportunist, the moment you leave the room. He didn't respect the boundaries of your friendship, and she didn't respect you enough to apologize knowing she was busted.
Sorry it had to turn-out like this; but if you can't trust her, there's no use in investing anymore time and effort. They'll probably end-up dating each-other; but they won't trust each-other, because they'll remember how they met. They did so by stabbing you in the back. Your ego would make you hesitant to give her up; but your better judgement will keep reminding you how little you can trust her.
Back-stabbing liars don't make trustworthy-friends or faithful romantic-partners. The most important element that binds either kind of loving human-relationship isn't there. That's trust!
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (6 February 2022):
 interpretation of events:
It's probably not what it looks like, in fact it's probably a lot worse than it looks.
Advice:
At four months, Drop her like a hot potato. You can do way way better. Anyone could.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 February 2022):
 OP, you saw what you saw.
They are BOTH lying to you, so where does that leave you?
Your friend is an arse your GF is full of crap. "She doesn't remember "how it happened"? What the actual F!
Your friend straight up LIED to you - "it never happened" but then your GF said it did, but she didn't know HOW it had happened. Oh and that she hadn't seen you come back! So it would have been OK if she HAD seen you? I mean if it was OH so innocent, why not just say:" it was so noisy and we were close so we could talk over the music - or whatnot?" No they both told you whatever they thought YOU would swallow.
It's only been 4 months and this stuff happens?
I would end it and walk away. She is being a TAD familiar with someone she had met ONCE before.
What women start snuggling up to their partner's male friend after 4 months? Yeah, nah - she should be focused on YOU and wanting to snuggle up to YOU - not your friend.
You might also want to rethink this "friend" of yours.
...............................
|
