A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I have liked a guy for 7 years but i still don't want to date him. When we don't talk i miss him and i feel happy and good when we do. I don't want him to get too close to me but sometimes i want his attention and time too.What is wrong? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (31 January 2022):
 There is nothing wrong, you simply enjoy the friendship. It's ok that you value the friendship, and its ok that you want his attention.
You are still only young, plenty of time for love and dating.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (30 January 2022):
 Why do you assume anything is wrong? You are only young; perhaps you are not yet mentally ready to date. Everyone matures at a different rate. You may have friends who feel ready to date but that does not mean you have to go there until you are ready.
It sounds like you have "friend zoned" this guy. You like him as a friend but do not feel any romantic interest in him. This is fine as long as he realizes the situation and has the same agenda. If he talks to you with the aim of developing the friendship into something romantic, then it is not fair of you to string him along if you don't feel you will ever like him "that way".
What do you think his intentions are towards you? Does he just want you as a friend, or does he hope for more? Just because we are fond of people and enjoy their company does not mean we have to be romantically interested in them.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2022): You want a friendship with him, you don't seem romantically attracted to him. Friendships with the opposite-sex have to have boundaries; and a full understanding as to where each of you stand. Let any guy know exactly how it is you like him; so he won't be lead-on, or you won't find yourself in the awkward position of fighting him off, or having to hurt his feelings.
When the wrong kind of feelings get attached, it is difficult to continue; finding yourself trying to force it to be a platonic-relationship. You may get a very negative reaction; or hurt his feelings, by trying to avoid hurting them.
Be honest, and don't deceive people to get your way. Often times, girls only like guys the way you do; and want to be friends, but their interests will be mistaken if they don't explain it off the top. Don't be wishy-washy or toy with anyone's feelings for selfish reasons. If you aren't looking for a boyfriend, but a good male-friend, tell him so. Then he can decline the friendship, or put the wrong kind of feelings in-check.
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