Is there anything my husband and I can do to help our sons?
Q. I have two sons. John who is 39 years old and Rob who is 37 years old. I always thought that my sons were close. Rob is gay and has been officially together for 12 years (dating for five years, married for 7 years). But they have been friend...
A. 27 January 2022: I can understand how painful it must be for you and your husband that your two sons do not speak. However, they are both adults and Rob has more than one good reason not to want to speak to his brother. Not only did John steal from him but he also ... (read in full...)
How to cope with losing a man I never had
Q. Hi there, Looking for some advice / help and opinions on how to cope with a man who has deeply hurt me. I can’t seem to get him out of my mind but crazy as it sounds we were not together. I am afraid this is a long story as I wanted to explai...
A. 27 January 2022: It's quite simple really: you fell for a smooth-talking scoundrel, a cad. Such a pity you are too obsessed with him to see that and that you put him on a pedestal he most definitely does not deserve.
You know - and he knows - that friendsh... (read in full...)
The more I know about his life, the more I want to walk away
Q. I’m in a relationship with a man with kids. I don’t have any and not thinking of wanting anytime soon. I haven’t met his kids and I don’t want to push him on meeting them. The more I get to know the situation with his life, the more I feel like ...
A. 27 January 2022: You don't say how old the youngest daughter is but I am assuming she is still fairly young. Like with the two other kids, as she grows up he is likely to be increasingly less involved in her life as she will prefer spending time with friends rather ... (read in full...)
Is my partner a sex addict
Q. I think my partner is a sex addict. I cant be sure but having read online articles I am finding alot of matching information that match his habits. I'll give you a run down. My partner likes to masturbate at least ten times a week. His sex dr...
A. 26 January 2022: You ask, is he a sex addict? I would ask, why do you stay with a man who disrespects you and abuses you in this way? Sticking a label on his behaviour is not going to change anything.
Sweetheart, we learn as babies/toddlers that you can't fo... (read in full...)
Have I been too forgiving?
Q. I’ve given my sister the benefit of the doubt after she tried to kiss my boyfriend on New Year’s Eve because she was drunk but have I been too soft on her? All of my friends seem to think so. Me and my boyfriend had a party at ours with a load...
A. 25 January 2022: This is between you, your sister and your boyfriend. Nothing to do with your friends. While they are free to give you their opinions, the ultimate decision is yours, not theirs. She is YOUR sister, he is YOUR boyfriend, so YOU choose how to handle ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to date a woman of another race?
Q. I've been interested in and dating this fantastic black (I am white) woman . we have been dating over the last couple of months, and to the point of considering sex. Is it ok to consider sex with a black woman? Might there be a stigma attached?...
A. 24 January 2022: Her skin may be a different colour to yours but, underneath that outer layer, she is no different to you (or any white woman). Why should dating a woman of another race be so worrying? We live in the 21st century, not in times when mixed race ... (read in full...)
Should I ask my wife to cheat?
Q. Is it completely absurd to fantasize about your wife doing something with another man (ex hand job, BJ, just kissing, intercourse)? My wife is extremely attractive, younger than me, and I have no desire to be with anyone else. However, I do ...
A. 24 January 2022: The big difference between fantasy and reality is that you have complete control over your fantasies but no control whatsoever if you turn them into reality. You could get jealous of how much your wife enjoys the attention of another (presumably ... (read in full...)
Who is to blame for initiating the wife swap?
Q. when a husband asks his wife if she would agree to a wife swap she then says no,then he asks again and she says she will think about it, and then decides she would do so knowing her yes would mean an almost certain swap would then happen. where ...
A. 22 January 2022: Strange how defensive some posters can be when they don't get the answer they were hoping for. The truth hurts sometimes. Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.
I would have thought that you would have known better at your age. Just goes to show, we can a... (read in full...)
We're in our 80s and my wife is becoming aggressive
Q. i am in my 80's and have been married for over 60 my wife is getting very aggresive and whilst I try io get out of her way { probably for 4 hours} this doesnt do anything for the situation. These arguements with my wife shouting and banging around ...
A. 22 January 2022: I'm sorry but, if this behaviour is out of character for her, this could be the start of dementia. You need to take your wife to the doctor for a check up and tell the doctor everything that has been happening.
Please try not to retaliat... (read in full...)
All his conversations revolve around money
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together about 6 months. He's obsessed with money. He believes he will be very rich and says it's in his DNA lol. However it disturbs me because that's all he thinks about. Most conversations revolve around money. ...
A. 21 January 2022: If you already have such reservations after only 6 months, how will you feel another 6 months, or even 6 years, down the line?
Why does your boyfriend only work part time when he has such an obsession about money? Is he all talk? Does he expect m... (read in full...)
Friend screwed me over now I don't want to see him
Q. I was just screwed over by my former coworker/friend He is a former coworker from my 2nd job that I helped get into my 1st job. When he got hired, he got a sign on bonus. And I get a referral bonus. He asked me to split my referral bonus with ...
A. 21 January 2022: Hold your head high, smile and keep it professional. Treat him like someone you don't know. Take the moral high ground and remember never to help him out again.
The universe sends us people to teach us lessons. Learn your lesson and move on. He i... (read in full...)
Who is to blame for initiating the wife swap?
Q. when a husband asks his wife if she would agree to a wife swap she then says no,then he asks again and she says she will think about it, and then decides she would do so knowing her yes would mean an almost certain swap would then happen. where ...
A. 18 January 2022: Wow, what a twisted "logic"! You are an idiot for suggesting it in the first place, then for asking again when your wife refused the first time. Poor woman was in a "no win" situation. she couldn't do right for doing wrong. She agreed, so you are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend took me for granted we broke up. Now hes hurt and family wants me to help
Q. My ex boyfriend stole from me some money and did not pay back ..He only apologized ...so since I had had enough of him taking me for granted ; I ended the relationship and told him that I will not continue with this relationship if he doesn’t pay ...
A. 18 January 2022: You broke up for good reason. VERY good reason. Don't let his family guilt-trip you into looking after someone who used you in the past.
Time to turn the page and move on with your life. Your ex is in your past. Leave him there. Don't look bac... (read in full...)
13 year relationship, feel like a punk that her past started to bother me - age 30
Q. First off I feel weird/bad for even making this post. Our relationship is actually really good, but we had a rough year due to stuff that was out of our hands, but is finally ending february 1st. We are both 30, have been together since w...
A. 16 January 2022: It's not her fault that you didn't bother "sowing your wild oats", so to speak. She was young and curious and, by the sound of it, a little "wild". If you two got together when you were both 17, she was VERY young when she was having one night ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for calling baby daddy when his son cries for him?
Q. Hi all. I have a child for a married man. His wife, then fiance broke up with him a couple months before they got married. During that break up period we had sex Before they started dating, we used to have casual sex. And he treated me like I was ...
A. 16 January 2022: Oh come on, you can't seriously expect anyone with half an ounce of common sense to believe you are phoning this guy for the sake of your son. A two year old can be placated and comforted by whoever is there with him that cares for him, in this case ... (read in full...)
What do do about my cheating wife?
Q. 30 years married my wife went with her girl friends.TO dinner and while she was gone. I got a call from her saying she was lost so. I went to were she told me she was and she was not there . about an hour later. I got a phone call from her girl ...
A. 16 January 2022: The question is, what do you WANT to do? You now have absolute proof she cheated on you. Previously you chose to brush your doubts under the carpet and carry on. Now you can no longer kid yourself that there were misunderstandings or her drink was ... (read in full...)
I am confused about how my friend is acting towards his estranged wife
Q. A male friend of mine is going through a divorce. His wife refuses to leave the home so they are living in separate rooms in the same home. What blows my mind is he said sometimes she makes him dinner or breakfast and even though he talks terrible ...
A. 16 January 2022: Why is this bothering you? Are you looking for a relationship with him? If so, you need to tread very carefully and take things very slowly. I strongly suspect this IS the reason you ask the question, otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned that he ... (read in full...)
My SO upset that I look at my ex on social mediaa
Q. Would you consider it a big issue if you’re significant other looked at their ex’s social media profile? My significant other is upset with me as he went through my phone and saw I searched an ex’s name on social media. I’m not in contact with them. ...
A. 16 January 2022: Sweetheart, take a bit of advice: run and don't look back. Your partner's controlling behaviour is only going to get worse and he will always have a "reason" to justify it.
Sorry, nothing else to say. ... (read in full...)
Are we stupid for giving it another try?
Q. I dated my ex for 18 months, I described him as the perfect guy. He was sweet , fun, caring and funny. See could sit and talk for hours and we had insane chemistry. I did break up with him 10 months ago because we were just in different places in ...
A. 16 January 2022: Worst case scenario: you're only wasting each other's time if it doesn't last.
My question to you would be: has anything changed since last time? You broke up for a reason - he wanted to settle down, you felt too young - has that changed ... (read in full...)
The woman I had an affair with is having a hard time with our official relationship. How do I ease her fears?
Q. Hi. I am not used to seeking advice, especially on a public site but I am at a complete loss and I will try anything to get a handle on this. Please feel free to weigh in here. First a brief background. My girlfriend and I met by having an affair...
A. 15 January 2022: Do you hear that sound, my friend? That's the sound of your chickens coming home to roost. Regardless of how many reasons/excuses you give for the affair, the bottom line is still the same: you cheated on your wife so you are capable of cheating on ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wants to be friends with her ex
Q. So I have been dating this girl for a little over two months. A few months prior to us starting to date she ended a 5 year relationship with another guy. She said it ended amicably and that they had taken breaks before but this was different. She ...
A. 15 January 2022: If they had both moved on and both had no feelings for each other, then I would say you have nothing to worry about and you should try to learn to live with it. However, NEITHER of them has really moved on and that is worrying. He quite obviously ... (read in full...)
I thought she was my friend but she betrayed me
Q. when I was at primary school, was left out of things and the parents would take their children away from me to play, because they were worried that I would hurt them or do something for much worse, growing up this really hurt me and people not unde...
A. 13 January 2022: The way you have been treated says everything about the perpetrators and nothing about you. They picked on you because you were an easy target - which you have already worked out for yourself.
Regarding the female who hurt you, I am willing ... (read in full...)
A former colleague's sister contacted me to say I'd overstepped
Q. Hi aunts a female colleague who used to work at the company I work at, recently left to go back to university. while I was sad to see her go, I wished her good luck and we remained in contact for a few months. then out the blue, I get a message fr...
A. 10 January 2022: I suspect the next communication you are likely to get from them is a demand for money to keep quiet. I also suspect they know you scare easily.
Delete and block the pair of them and lock down any media profiles so they can't find you.
Sadl... (read in full...)
I fell for him but its a long distance relationship
Q. While traveling to Chicago back in June, I connected with "Z" on Bumble. We decided to meet at his place, kissed in the first hour, and I slept over. It all seemed casual and fine. I visited again in July, and the two of us had the most amazing,...
A. 9 January 2022: Sweetheart, if your profile age is correct, you have been round the block more than once and should have the experience and common sense to be a little more guarded who you "fall for". You feel you have "fallen for him" based on the strength of two ... (read in full...)
My friend is dating a 28 year old
Q. A few years ago, my best friend got divorced from her husband and the father of her two young kids. I fully supported her throughout the separation and divorce, and was happy to be there for her during her time of need. She was blindsided by her ...
A. 8 January 2022: Just because you were there for your friend when she needed you does not give you the right to judge what she chooses to do with the rest of her life. It is commendable that you are still looking out for her but you can't run her life for her. You ... (read in full...)
Confused about girlfriends actions
Q. I was holding my girlfriend tight and kissing. When she said I had a cold nose. I laughed and said "are you sure" in a I've got an idea voice and went in to kiss her neck so my nose would also touch her neck. She obviously turned away but in a...
A. 8 January 2022: In response to your first question, would you feel her hand on your penis if you had a coat on? Of course you would - especially at your age, when hormones are running riot. Her breasts are no less sensitive than your penis.
Who knows why she ... (read in full...)
Things went downhill after I complimented her on her 'hour glass' figure
Q. I recently moved here from Scotland. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a public event at an art gallery. She was a high-school teacher in her early 30s. We had been talking for a good half-hour and ...
A. 7 January 2022: I came to realize a long time ago that it is not necessarily what is said that matters but who says it. As a virtual stranger, who has only just had a short chat with this lady, commenting on her figure was definitely not classy.
Leave her alon... (read in full...)
Have I already blown it with her?
Q. I'm really struggling with this girl I like. We've been on a few dates but because of how her last couple of boyfriends were with her she's got this impression that I'm the same and am gonna treat her like s*** basically. She's not said outright ...
A. 7 January 2022: If we don't heal our wounds, we bleed on those who did not cut us. This is exactly what she is doing to you. You are paying for what other guys have (allegedly - you only have her word for this) done to her. She is not over how she was treated so ... (read in full...)
People asking for money on social media
Q. Hello ?? Social media has been a good way to make new friends. I have made a couple of long lasting friendships, however, it's also frustrating when you talk to people and they seem to feel it's okay to ask for money. Most times it's men ...
A. 6 January 2022: These men make a living out of scamming vulnerable and/or gullible women. They don't NEED anything; they WANT your money. In truth, they probably have a lot more money than you do.
I would advise you to stop making friends on social media wi... (read in full...)
Is it possible my boyfriend's history of abuse could fuel his sexual tastes?
Q. My boyfriend always has to or wants to stick at least his fingers if not a vibrator in my anus to be able to get off. Why? I know a lil of his past history and he could have been abused in some way. Would something like that cause people problems...
A. 6 January 2022: Is this something you enjoy? From the tone of your post, I am guessing not. Why are you allowing it to happen?
I guess it IS possible that this behaviour is, in some way, linked to the abuse he suffered in the past. However, it might also be ... (read in full...)
Is it a game or is she genuinely interested?
Q. a female work colleague who I got on well with, left the company I work for, to go to university. we speak now and then on facebook, and she is good at getting back to me, surprisingly. when I last messaged, I didn’t get a reply, not that I was ...
A. 2 January 2022: I have to ask, what on earth do you post on your Facebook page that you are so worried about co-workers finding out? Remember Facebook is a PUBLIC forum and be careful what you share. ... (read in full...)
She hasn't responded to a recent Facebook message. Have I done something wrong?
Q. here’s how it goes. I work for a company that deals in computers, I enjoy what I do and have made friends from it. the job is okay, nothing special about it, a jobs a job as they say. I found out a work colleague is leaving the company after ma...
A. 2 January 2022: How "recently" did you message her? If it was in the last couple of weeks, then you need to cut her some slack. It is the holiday period and people's lives are usually busy and disorganized during that period.
I have lost count of the number o... (read in full...)
How do I approach him about the question he wants to ask me?
Q. Hey everyone, I need some help, this might be a long one sorry! So I’ve met this boy online (Tinder) probably about 6/7 weeks ago now / Start of November last year. We have been talking every single day since then. He’s stayed at mine multiple times ...
A. 2 January 2022: He's stayed at yours but you haven't even been to his (I assume, as you don't mention it). Why is that? In your shoes, I would be suspicious. You only have his word for it that he has told his family about "seeing someone"
So he messaged you, whi... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do about a manipulative close friend
Q. I have recently discovered that one of my closest friends is a liar and a manipulator; there really isn’t another word for it. In the past 6-7 I’ve had some doubts here and there, but never got a clear confirmation. Until now. I’ve known her...
A. 1 January 2022: I only have one piece of advice: remember this is not about YOU but about HER. Whatever she did was primarily to shore up the stories (lies) she had concocted and to keep up the pretense. I doubt any of it was because she hates/d you. Don't take it ... (read in full...)
My husbands stays out all night with his younger single friends
Q. Hello aunts and uncles My husband goes out with his buddies until 5 or 6 am and feels I have a problem by mentioning it. It disturbs me a married man behaving this way. Most of his friends are younger and single. Don't I have the right...
A. 1 January 2022: How often does he do this? Is it an occasional occurrence, say for a special occasion, or a regular event? If the former, then I would advise cutting him some slack. He will want to stay out with his friends occasionally. If the latter, then that is ... (read in full...)
Was I love bombed?
Q. Was I love bombed? So I've known this guy for the past 5 years. He lives in another state and we only see each other every other year. We were fwb and he was never very affectionate towards me, but during our recent encounter, he was showerin...
A. 30 December 2021: I suspect one of his other women probably dumped him unexpectedly and he used you as a comfort blanket. However, he swiftly got cold feet, so had to put you "in your place", so to speak, by telling you that you were not the only woman in his life. ... (read in full...)
Does she see things from my point of view
Q. I’ve been friends with a female who I have had a crush on, for many years. we both like each other but have never acted on our instincts. she told me she had a boyfriend, which I was disappointed by. I told her that I have a crush on her and she ...
A. 29 December 2021: "Cute" can mean anything we wish it to mean. It can mean "it's hilarious that you think you have a chance with me" or it can mean "I'm flattered, but no thanks" or anything in between. I doubt it is ever used to mean "I am going to dump my boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Left out and not included
Q. a couple of years ago, I joined a working mens club and at first everything seemed to be okay and people were wanting to play snooker with me. as the months have passed, not a single person wants to play a game and I’m always on the sidelines. they ...
A. 29 December 2021: Working men's clubs are generally easy going and relaxed. If you are competitive when you play snooker - and also quite good - then perhaps this is not the best environment for you. Nobody likes to play with someone who is in a completely different ... (read in full...)
Why did she contact me sfter telling me not to contact her
Q. This is an odd situation. I got dumped by this girl, and saying that we’re not on speaking terms goes without saying. She tells me to "No longer contact her for ANY reasons." So, I honour that fully. Now, strange thing is, she, for some oddball ...
A. 29 December 2021: It all sounds rather strange and, frankly, I have no desire to pry further and ask any questions, except WHY is it so difficult for you to ignore this message, even all this time later? If you answer, she still has control over you. Take back ... (read in full...)
What would best advice for this situation?
Q. I have a question in relation to a situation that I am writing for one of my fictional characters. It’s somewhat bizarre, but… yeah. So, the character (Let’s call him Moe) is 10 years of age, and he has a sweetheart-like female friend (Daughter...
A. 29 December 2021: This is YOUR story. Why are you asking for input from others? What do YOU think should happen? THAT is what is important. ... (read in full...)
If she does not like me why the friend request?
Q. hi aunts advice needed, I work at a warehouse processing materials for shirts and badges for football teams. there is a female at work who doesn’t seem to like me, either because I’m ugly or get on her nerves. I normally don’t do social media, b...
A. 29 December 2021: Speaking from experience, I know how easy it is to accidentally press the friend request button when snooping on someone's page. Not everyone knows you can cancel the friend request afterwards.
In your shoes I would have ignored the request ... (read in full...)
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