Seeing that ex is engaged has thrown me off
Q. I broke up with a guy about 2.5 years ago. It was an unhealthy relationship where I saw red flags and knew we were incompatible, but thought my love could “fix” him and maybe if I changed certain things about myself, it could work. I have no idea ...
A. 18 December 2022: I suspect you feel "inferior" in some way to the latest love interest. However, there are many different things which could be going on here.
Perhaps she has lower standards than you do. Perhaps she has railroaded him into getting engaged.... (read in full...)
Seeing that ex is engaged has thrown me off
Q. I broke up with a guy about 2.5 years ago. It was an unhealthy relationship where I saw red flags and knew we were incompatible, but thought my love could “fix” him and maybe if I changed certain things about myself, it could work. I have no idea ...
A. 18 December 2022: Testing... (read in full...)
I have no support around me when boyfriend and I argue
Q. I have being living with my boyfriend for the last three months. We have our ups and downs and arguments about day to day things. I live 5.5 hours away from my friends and family. My boyfriend lives about half an hour from his family. I lived away ...
A. 3 December 2022: I am guessing you knew about his female friends before you moved in together, so have to wonder why you ignored this huge red flag and moved in with him regardless?
Strange that he accuses YOU of trying to control HIM when it actually sounds l... (read in full...)
I want my mom to stop talking to me she has a mental illness
Q. My mom she loves coming into the basement irritating me and threatening me and I don't want her coming to the basement I don't want her talking to me she has a mental illness and she doesn't want to admit to anybody she has one. ...
A. 3 December 2022: As you say your mother won't admit to having a mental illness, I can only assume she has never been diagnosed as having one. As neither you nor I are qualified psychiatrists, we cannot diagnose her. How do we know it is not, in fact, YOU who is ... (read in full...)
Weird family interactions making me wonder about my husband and his family
Q. So I went to my in-laws house for Thanksgiving. My husband has two sisters. One 18 and the other 16 they were both adopted. Long story short my husband smacked his little sisters behind. Later on in the day my husband touched a over her chest to do ...
A. 30 November 2022: I think the crux of the "problem" is in this sentence: "It’s just not normal to me." Just because it is not the way YOUR family are with each other does not automatically make it wrong. Every family has different dynamics. I have to admit, it is not ... (read in full...)
User'sAm I overreacting to my boyfriend's relationship with his daughters? title
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half now. He's been divorced for two years and I have never been married myself. He has two daughters and I have no kids. Our relationship is so wonderful, everything between us is perfect ...
A. 27 November 2022: No, you are not overreacting to this situation. You have been in this relationship long enough to know it is unlikely that anything will change in the near future. If your boyfriend is not prepared to stand up to his daughters, how are you ever ... (read in full...)
Family always wants me to babysit
Q. I have a brother who is married with a wife and two kids. The problem is that my brother and sister-in-law are upset with me for always refusing to babysit. I have work, church and other activities that take up a lot of my time. My brot...
A. 27 November 2022: While I can appreciate they may be "stressed", having two young children, their children are THEIR responsibility, not yours.
In your shoes, I would be tempted to tell them, very clearly, that you do not want to baby sit their children, regardle... (read in full...)
Should I inform my ex’s family & friends that I’m he’s addicted to drugs in hopes that they’ll help him?
Q. My ex and I are very much in love but broke up amicably. He’s developed a drug addiction. He’s high functioning but it’s something I cannot accept. He’s admitted to his addiction and understands why I can’t be with him. He’ll be moving out this ...
A. 23 November 2022: Correct me if I am wrong but my suspicion is that your desire to "fix" his addiction is so that you and he can resume your relationship. You admit you still love him, you still like him as a person, you just can't live with his addiction. This isn't ... (read in full...)
He lied cheated on his partner then told me he never had feelings for me
Q. I’m in a horrible situation and would love some help please. I started dating a man back in June. We’d known each other through work for a couple of years and there has always been some flirtation between us so I was thrilled when he asked me out....
A. 23 November 2022: Bit of a coincidence that he suddenly decided he "never had feelings" for you immediately after you walked away when he wanted to chat, don't you think? Of course it isn't a coincidence. He knew exactly how to hurt you and knock you off balance.
... (read in full...)
Getting over someone’s promiscuous past
Q. Hey all! I’m struggling with what seems to be a rather common mental dilemma. I’m (28M) in a monogamous relationship with a girl (29F) that I was friends with in high school. We both went away to college, didn’t really talk much for like 8-9 years, ...
A. 20 November 2022: Firstly, it's not a competition. There are no prizes -or penalties - for having most - or least - sexual partners. So she put herself about a bit in her younger days. Big deal. So what? I'm assuming she didn't coerce any of her sexual partners into ... (read in full...)
All we have done is kiss
Q. My boyfriend who is 19 won't touch me even when I ask him to. We have been dating for a year now and all we've done is just kissing,we haven't seen each other completely naked I tried numerous times to make a move on him but he avoids me telling me ...
A. 16 November 2022: Listen to what your boyfriend is telling you. He sounds wise beyond his years.
What's your rush? You have the rest of your life to get physical. Enjoy what you have. Being mature means realizing you can't have everything when YOU want it. ... (read in full...)
He can not cope with emotions?
Q. After getting divorced I had no intentions of meeting anyone but it happened, I met indirectly through work the most amazing man, he happens to be a consultant in a local hospital. I know in the beginning I put him on a massive pedestal and almost ...
A. 16 November 2022: Oh dear, where to start? Right, in no particular order:
If he is a consultant in a hospital, he is obviously a reasonably intelligent man. However, while he may be good at coping in a work environment (where I would imagine he is very good at ... (read in full...)
Years later still feel betrayed that father moved away after the divorce
Q. Me and my dad have had a rough relationship since i was about 16 years old it really all stemmed from my dad moving arcross the country. i always resented him because I young and needed a father still and just the simple fact i felt a parent never ...
A. 13 November 2022: I would love to hear your father's side of this but, even from only reading YOUR side, it sounds like your father did his best with the hand which was dealt to him. Let me explain why I feel this to be the case.
Your parents' marriage didn't w... (read in full...)
Made mistake leaving dog behind
Q. I left my dog with my parents while moving to this country after marriage. I visit her once in four months. It's scary to transport overseas (because they would put her in a carrier and transport her like an object), my parents are attached to her ...
A. 12 November 2022: P.S. Sorry about Harlotsghost's rude and stupid post. A troll who doesn't even know women don't have a penis, lol. ... (read in full...)
Made mistake leaving dog behind
Q. I left my dog with my parents while moving to this country after marriage. I visit her once in four months. It's scary to transport overseas (because they would put her in a carrier and transport her like an object), my parents are attached to her ...
A. 12 November 2022: I completely empathize how difficult it must have been for you, leaving behind a much loved pet. However, your dog is with people who love her, so is happy. This is her new life and she is lucky to have so many people who love her. Uprooting her, ... (read in full...)
He gave me chance after chance
Q. I used to enjoy flirting on dating apps and kinda having text and online relationships. I was in love with someone at the time. He found out about it, left, came back after I had convinced him it was nothing which was exactly what it was and I ...
A. 12 November 2022: Well, this man DID love you, otherwise he would not have given you so many chances to abuse his trust. However, once you have killed trust, there is seldom any way back. He gave you chance after chance but nothing changed. Would you read a book for ... (read in full...)
Its nice to get noticed
Q. I usually dress in jeans top and flat shoes when going out with my husband to the cinema or restaurants. I do my hair nice put make up on so don’t look stunning but not scruffy either. My husband usually says I look nice but there as been times wh...
A. 12 November 2022: I find it interesting that you don't tell your husband he looks nice because he "doesn't ask if he looks alright or cares what I think". Yet you have a major issue that he doesn't tell you EVERY TIME that you look nice. I wonder, if he was the one ... (read in full...)
Its nice to get noticed
Q. I usually dress in jeans top and flat shoes when going out with my husband to the cinema or restaurants. I do my hair nice put make up on so don’t look stunning but not scruffy either. My husband usually says I look nice but there as been times wh...
A. 12 November 2022: Test... (read in full...)
Friend always requesting money
Q. Hello, My so called male friend is in between jobs he works here and there. Always asking to borrow ( never has returned nothing) it's almost like he waits on my payday. He says hes broke I need food, I need to pay this or that. I ma...
A. 12 November 2022: Well, you nailed it in the first sentence when you called him your "so called male friend". This is no friend. This is a sponge. A parasite. A leech. A user. I am sure you can think of some other suitable nouns to describe this low-life.
The r... (read in full...)
I really want my ex back
Q. I was married for seven years. My ex and I have a child together but I still have feelings for him. He broke up with me because we did not have sex for months. He was also upset that I spent to much time with my family. I have 5 siblings and 9 ...
A. 5 November 2022: Just occasionally there are posts on this site which make me burst out laughing at the audacity and irony contained therein. This has been one of them.
You really have zero room to take the moral high ground over your ex husband's dating while yo... (read in full...)
Do we really have a future?
Q. Hello there. I am Calvin and I have posted some things to give advice and I posted before for advice on me and my girlfriend Susie about some other stuff about being virgins and dealing with haters at school. She is two years older than me and we ...
A. 5 November 2022: Do you have a future? Nobody can tell you that.
However, I would offer you the following pieces of advice:
Enjoy what you have NOW and try not to fixate on the future. The future is not guaranteed for ANYONE. Sometimes we are so busy worrying... (read in full...)
Is 30 too old to date?
Q. Hi there, this is my first time posting on here but I see people give really great advice. I am currently going through a divorce with my husband of 9 years. Nothing messy, we have just grown apart over the years and I put that down to being so...
A. 4 November 2022: I think you first need to let the dust settle from your divorce before looking to date someone else. Get used to being on your own, then you won't be desperate for a new relationship. In that way, anyone you date will need to bring something good to ... (read in full...)
How to get over dissapointment of being so close to finding The One?
Q. I fell in love with a guy who has so many characteristics I am looking for. He is so much of what I’ve hoped to have as a husband but never thought would exist out there. Long story short, he has three big deal breakers to him. These things are...
A. 3 November 2022: Regardless of how many good qualities he had, three deal-breakers preclude him from being "the one". If these three things were really something you could not live with/adjust to, then he may as well not have had any of the good qualities, as he was ... (read in full...)
Partner invited friend over to stay while I am away
Q. It being less than month since I moved in with my boyfriend and I’m thinking I’ve done the wrong thing. Last week, he blurted out in an argument that he had invited his friend over to stay for the night whilst I’m away working. I have never met h...
A. 3 November 2022: You have a gut instinct to protect you. Trust it. Your gut is telling you this is not right.
If I were in your shoes, I would give serious consideration to dating this guy, let alone living with him. ... (read in full...)
My mom found my boyfriend and i's naughty texts
Q. Hi! I just found out my boyfriends mom went through my boyfriend and I's text (they were not very PG), she found out yesterday and she acted completely normal and even let my boyfriend come to the house but today my Dad asked me if my Mom had ta...
A. 3 November 2022: You say you have not "acted on anything from the texts" but I remember being a teenager so I am pretty sure there will have been hanky panky of some sort going on. Let's face it: you rarely share sexual fantasies with someone with whom you have not ... (read in full...)
Too much
Q. Ok, so I have a issue , uhh I may or may not masturbate, and I might have gotten addicted it just feels so good! But I kinda gross myself out, does anybody know how to stop? ...
A. 29 October 2022: I would say, if you are doing it in private and not running any risk of anyone seeing you, then there is no need to worry. If you get caught doing it somewhere you shouldn't be, then you run the risk of ridicule from your friends and family, not to ... (read in full...)
How do I come out to my female partner
Q. How do I come out to my female partner? Hey people, any help will be appreciated, I'm looking for advice on how I can get out of a situation I've stupidly got myself in. So, I'm gay but have a girlfriend and I really don't want to hurt hurt, but the ...
A. 29 October 2022: How do you tell her? Well, certainly not in the detail you shared with us. She doesn't need to know it - and neither did we, but heh, there it is. It obviously gave you a kick and, while aunts and uncles on this site will have rolled their eyes and ... (read in full...)
Need advice on how to proceed in my relationshi
Q. My partner and I have been together 7 years. We have been engaged since 6 months in. I cannot bring myself to take the next step and get married because I’m so terrified of marriage being surrounded by family members in unhappy marriages. Plus ...
A. 28 October 2022: What answers are you hoping for? Did you not like the ones you got last time? If you disagreed, then it appears to want to stay with him, despite all the issues.
Nobody can force you to leave. Nobody can force you to stay. It is down to you. You... (read in full...)
Should I marry him? Wait or leave?
Q. My fiancé and I have been together for 7 years and I’m still afraid to get married. He purposed at 6 months and I said yes because at the time things were going good but as time progressed it seems to have gotten worse. We are so different. He’s ...
A. 20 October 2022: What would you wait for? What do you think will change for the better after 7 years?
Ask yourself this: is this how I want to spend the NEXT seven years and more of my life?
I think you already know the answer but are just afraid to cut lo... (read in full...)
Uninvited from friend’s wedding
Q. I've known my friend "Lisa" since high school and we are both 30 now. We weren't each other's best friends but were still close. We started hanging out more often in 2019. That was the year my ex-fiance and I broke up. She invited me to several ...
A. 20 October 2022: I firmly believe everyone crosses our path as part of the universe's plan for us. It sounds like Lisa was one of your "friends for a reason". She was there for you when you needed support following the break-up of your engagement. You no longer need ... (read in full...)
Uninvited from friend’s wedding
Q. I've known my friend "Lisa" since high school and we are both 30 now. We weren't each other's best friends but were still close. We started hanging out more often in 2019. That was the year my ex-fiance and I broke up. She invited me to several ...
A. 20 October 2022: Test - because this site sometimes rejects replies :-)... (read in full...)
Tired of being hurt give my love to animals instead
Q. I'm an introvert. I live with my partner who likes his space as well. As a true introvert, I'm happy and completely content in my own company. I'm self employed and happy plodding on with what I need to achieve each day. I walk my dog and always p...
A. 16 October 2022: I'm so sorry you have been treated this way by people you thought were your friends. You sound like a sensitive caring soul, so their taking you for granted and using you in this way hurts badly. I don't for a second believe you don't care. You care ... (read in full...)
He is asking me for ideas on how to propose?
Q. I have a new partner (all started long distance) who I have been with on and off for 8 months - started in Feb - broke up on Mar 24 then he went home - came back in June - lived with me till mid Sept - then went home to get space and is back to me ...
A. 12 October 2022: Strange that someone of your age and experience still sees the proposal and the wedding as the "happy ever after" instead of what they really are - the start of your future life together.
Your boyfriend isn't over his ex yet. He dips in and out ... (read in full...)
I use enemas to help please myself.does anyone else?
Q. I have used an enema to enhance masturbation since I was a boy. They have been as good as or better than sex with my wife because when I masturbate I just have to please myself. With a wife I wanted to please her too. Am I the only one that does ...
A. 12 October 2022: Firstly, I think you are on the wrong site with this question. I feel sure there will be more "specialized" sites out there where people can understand your fetish and may even be able to offer advice.
Secondly, what difference does it make if ... (read in full...)
I use enemas to help please myself.does anyone else?
Q. I have used an enema to enhance masturbation since I was a boy. They have been as good as or better than sex with my wife because when I masturbate I just have to please myself. With a wife I wanted to please her too. Am I the only one that does ...
A. 12 October 2022: Testing... (read in full...)
In a long distance relationship and I just found out that my gf is pregnant by another man!
Q. Hello I'm in a long distance relationship (like across the country) and today I learned from a friend of my girlfriend that she is pregnant by another man. I confronted my girlfriend and she admitted that she screwed up a few months ago and w...
A. 9 October 2022: So many posts where I have so many questions of my own.
What were your long term plans? Was there a date set when one of you would move so you could be together or was this just an indefinite arrangement? Can you ever trust this girl again, e... (read in full...)
Can anyone please help me figure out what's going on with this guy?
Q. I'm 33 and single. I've known guy for the last 10 years from way back when we were studying. Although we were never friends, we knew people who were common to us. He was always very polite and civil and might I add, a good 10 years older. He added ...
A. 9 October 2022: As with many posts, I have some questions for YOU:
Why did you contact him again when he had been creepy in the past?
What was your purpose in reconnecting with him?
I am going to put 2 + 2 together and arrive at the conclusion that, bei... (read in full...)
An old friend who has a crush on me has resurfaced
Q. Hi, I recently turned 40 years old. I dated a guy (not a relationship) way back when I was a teen. We ultimately did not work, but while we were seeing each other we were kind of close. We would fall asleep on the phone together etc. ty...
A. 4 October 2022: Does your partner know about this? If not, perhaps it is time to tell him. Then I would suggest the pair of you arrange to meet this bloke, face to face, and tell him to back off. If he still keeps stalking you, then a solicitors' letter might help ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is disgusted by my arousal
Q. My girlfriend of one year who is fifteen year old feel disgusted when i have a boner. I get boner when i am around her and when she touch me even though she said she is not ready for sex. Is it wrong to have boner as she always tell me and that i am ...
A. 2 October 2022: Why are you, an adult, dating a child? OF COURSE she is disgusted and doesn't understand. She is A CHILD. Leave her alone and find someone of a more appropriate age to date.... (read in full...)
My online African boyfriend keeps asking me for money
Q. Hello I met a man online. We talked for several months then he began asking me for money. He's from Africa, he said he's poor. I felt bad and sent him 20.00 for some food. Now there is always some issue. He needs for food, for transportation, ...
A. 2 October 2022: Open your eyes. This man has much more money that you do. He is not "poor". He is scamming you. He will have many gullible females like you sending him money.
I cannot believe people are still falling for this BS despite all the warnings out ther... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is unmotivated
Q. I am 32, I have been with my boyfriend for coming up to 3 years, he is 36. I have my own house/mortgage, he lives with his parents but had previously been living in NZ (Came back coz his mum is ill). Although we'd not been dating long he moved in...
A. 2 October 2022: I'm intrigued that you casually mention, at the very end of a lengthy and detailed post, almost as an afterthought, "I do feel we got a lot of good stuff going going for us", yet don't mention ANYTHING good about your relationship in your post while ... (read in full...)
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