What should I do if my partner is lying to me about guys she is seeing when I am not around?
Q. What should I do if my partner is lying to me about guys she is seeing when I am not around? I am either at work or in the evenings she will stay out late some nights. We know each other very well and have spoken about this but with no solution. ...
A. 17 July 2010: Thank you for your replies. Everyone has said basically the same - that there isn't much of a relationship here any more.
Caring Guy - you mention that you would be suspicious and I guess there is part of me that wonders if anything has happ... (read in full...)
How can I guild up my self confidence from within this relationship?
Q. I have placed quite a few questions here and have had some very good advice and observations from the kind people who have replied. Unfortunately my continued postings here have frustrated some people as most have said the same thing: That I should ...
A. 15 February 2010: Thank you for your reply Miamine. You are right I am starting to resent her and fall out of love with her and yet I still care and feel for her. Yesterday was Valentines Day and although things have not been great I wanted to take the opportunity to ... (read in full...)
How can I guild up my self confidence from within this relationship?
Q. I have placed quite a few questions here and have had some very good advice and observations from the kind people who have replied. Unfortunately my continued postings here have frustrated some people as most have said the same thing: That I should ...
A. 15 February 2010: I found it very difficult to read your reply. It is concise and clear and I feel correct.
We are still together, though I'm not sure I can call it a relationship anymore. There is no physical contact whatsoever yet she still wants me to buy a... (read in full...)
Why, if she cares for me, does she insist on me earning as much as I can and accept the benefits that it brings, and yet despise me for it?
Q. I work so hard at my job because we need the money. My gf wants us to buy a larger place with some land and outbuildings etc so I feel I have to work as hard as I can. On the other side my gf will not get a paid job. She says that she already...
A. 6 November 2009: I am sorry I have not been able to resolve my situation. And I am sorry that I have asked so many questions. I know the overwhelming response has been to leave. I see it. I am not really sure I have anything in me to stand up. I have become weak by ... (read in full...)
Why, if she cares for me, does she insist on me earning as much as I can and accept the benefits that it brings, and yet despise me for it?
Q. I work so hard at my job because we need the money. My gf wants us to buy a larger place with some land and outbuildings etc so I feel I have to work as hard as I can. On the other side my gf will not get a paid job. She says that she already...
A. 6 November 2009: I want to add an update at this point. My gf did not come back last night. We live together. I called and left a message when I arrived home form work and then I waited until 10pm before trying to call her again. She would not answer my calls or ... (read in full...)
Why, if she cares for me, does she insist on me earning as much as I can and accept the benefits that it brings, and yet despise me for it?
Q. I work so hard at my job because we need the money. My gf wants us to buy a larger place with some land and outbuildings etc so I feel I have to work as hard as I can. On the other side my gf will not get a paid job. She says that she already...
A. 5 November 2009: eyeswideopen, Thank you for your replies here. I understand the idea of 'choosing' to be in something like this. I agree we all make our choices and maybe I am something of a puppy dog as you say. I think that my sense of what is right for me has ... (read in full...)
Why, if she cares for me, does she insist on me earning as much as I can and accept the benefits that it brings, and yet despise me for it?
Q. I work so hard at my job because we need the money. My gf wants us to buy a larger place with some land and outbuildings etc so I feel I have to work as hard as I can. On the other side my gf will not get a paid job. She says that she already...
A. 5 November 2009: AnelofLove, Thank you for your considered reply. one thing you said struck me. "If someone makes you cry, they are not worth your tears." I stopped when I read this. I am embarassed to even write this here but I have broken down so many times ... (read in full...)
Why, if she cares for me, does she insist on me earning as much as I can and accept the benefits that it brings, and yet despise me for it?
Q. I work so hard at my job because we need the money. My gf wants us to buy a larger place with some land and outbuildings etc so I feel I have to work as hard as I can. On the other side my gf will not get a paid job. She says that she already...
A. 5 November 2009: Satin Desire, Thank you for your response here. I know you are right inside but although you express your point very strongly I still keep giving her the benefit of the doubt.
She always says she doesn't care about money at all and derides peop... (read in full...)
Why, if she cares for me, does she insist on me earning as much as I can and accept the benefits that it brings, and yet despise me for it?
Q. I work so hard at my job because we need the money. My gf wants us to buy a larger place with some land and outbuildings etc so I feel I have to work as hard as I can. On the other side my gf will not get a paid job. She says that she already...
A. 5 November 2009: Thank you for your response here. We have known each other for 9 years and been together for over 3. She says that her job is her art. I find I spend a lot of time waiting for her and She wil never let me know what she is doing, if she has ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has rejected me sexually for over 18 months...
Q. For well over a year my gf has been cold towards me. Some of this I explained in my earlier question - not allowing me to say I love you or express my feelings to her etc. Also she as rejected me sexually for nearly 18 months. At the start she used ...
A. 3 November 2009: Thank you so much your responses here. It is thought provoking to read so many replies which take a similar viewpoint. My gf was crying again yesterday. She says that she has given up so much to be with me. She gave up her accommodation which ... (read in full...)
Should I be able to discuss difficult issues with my gf without the fear of massive arguments?
Q. I would be greatful of your advice. My gf and I have been together for nearly 4 years and have known each other well as close friends for 8 years. I am a communicator and value talking about problems and then negotiating a resolution or agreeing ...
A. 1 November 2009: As an update to this question first I would like to say thank you for your responses and thoughts. It has been very good to get other views.
For well over a year my gf has been cold towards me. Some of this I explained in my earlier question - no... (read in full...)
Should I be able to discuss difficult issues with my gf without the fear of massive arguments?
Q. I would be greatful of your advice. My gf and I have been together for nearly 4 years and have known each other well as close friends for 8 years. I am a communicator and value talking about problems and then negotiating a resolution or agreeing ...
A. 30 October 2009: LyonHart, Thanks for your response. Most - nearly all have been advising along the same lines - and I agree too when I am thinking rationally. Thank you for your take on my situation. It is a help to know when others have experienced similar ... (read in full...)
Should I be able to discuss difficult issues with my gf without the fear of massive arguments?
Q. I would be greatful of your advice. My gf and I have been together for nearly 4 years and have known each other well as close friends for 8 years. I am a communicator and value talking about problems and then negotiating a resolution or agreeing ...
A. 30 October 2009: Honey Girl, Yes I think Country's advice is excellent. I need to think lng and hard about it and try to not let the emotional side of being in this relationship control me which is the hard part. Thank you too for your response. ... (read in full...)
Should I be able to discuss difficult issues with my gf without the fear of massive arguments?
Q. I would be greatful of your advice. My gf and I have been together for nearly 4 years and have known each other well as close friends for 8 years. I am a communicator and value talking about problems and then negotiating a resolution or agreeing ...
A. 30 October 2009: Honey Girl, Yes I think Country's advice is excellent. I need to think long and hard about it and try to not let the emotional side of being in this relationship control me which is the hard part. Thank you too for your response. ... (read in full...)
Should I be able to discuss difficult issues with my gf without the fear of massive arguments?
Q. I would be greatful of your advice. My gf and I have been together for nearly 4 years and have known each other well as close friends for 8 years. I am a communicator and value talking about problems and then negotiating a resolution or agreeing ...
A. 30 October 2009: Country Woman, Thank you for your reply here. I am very greatful for your objective response. It's areal help because I have doubted my gut instinct for a long time. You asked couple of questions in your reply and I wanted to clarify.
You aske... (read in full...)
Am I right to be bothered by this?
Q. I would like advice on what must be a very common issue. My gf text me to say she was just finshing at work and that we would meet back at home. I went back from my work and arrived after about half hour. My gf came back 3 and half hours later. I ...
A. 28 October 2009: Hi RebelKaos, Thank you for your reply. I agree with you about individuality within a committed relationship. The reason I think this bothered me was because the normal understanding between us when either of us says we are finishing up and that e ... (read in full...)
How can I make her understand that I am not comfortable with her seeing her ex's?
Q. The other day my gf of 4 years (we have known each other well for 9 years) went to see an ex of hers for coffee at his place. She omitted to mention it at the time and it came up in conversation last night. This ex was someone she had and ...
A. 21 October 2009: GrimReality - Thank you for your response. I am so caught up in the whole thing that I needed an outside look at this. I appreciate very much you directness. You response has given me an idea of how other people think about lying etc. Your 3 ... (read in full...)
I can't handle my deadbeat husband.
Q. im married for 8yrs.me n hubby has 3 kids.until lst yr my husband decided he had enough of his job and quit.we have a sideline business that he then decided to do full time from home.the business is not doin that well n i decided to find a job.he ...
A. 23 September 2009: Your husband has a child with another woman and is obliged to contribute this child's upbringing - this is as it should be. The woman took him to court and he is paying. You mention nothing in your question about your relationship with your ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to do the best for her and she's distancing herself from me
Q. Should I admit to seeing my partners writings and how can I deal with this? Recently my partner made a list of things she wanted. 1. To visit her family. (500 miles away) 2. To go on holiday abroad to the sea. 3. To move in to ...
A. 1 September 2009: Thank you for your replies. Since returning from her family she has been making an effort and has been more affectionate towards me. She has, for the first time genuinely it seems, said that she wants to move away with me and wants me to buy a ho... (read in full...)
I'm trying to do the best for her and she's distancing herself from me
Q. Should I admit to seeing my partners writings and how can I deal with this? Recently my partner made a list of things she wanted. 1. To visit her family. (500 miles away) 2. To go on holiday abroad to the sea. 3. To move in to ...
A. 29 August 2009: I wanted to send a follow up .. I feel stronger when thinking about the possibility of this ending - something I have not been able to consider at all up to now. I drove with her to see her family last weekend as both they wanted to see us and she ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to do the best for her and she's distancing herself from me
Q. Should I admit to seeing my partners writings and how can I deal with this? Recently my partner made a list of things she wanted. 1. To visit her family. (500 miles away) 2. To go on holiday abroad to the sea. 3. To move in to ...
A. 21 August 2009: Starfairy,
I understand that too and I know people are just human and many times just trying not to hurt the other person - but I can't help remembering that she was persuing me for a long time before we got together and told me she had those real... (read in full...)
I'm trying to do the best for her and she's distancing herself from me
Q. Should I admit to seeing my partners writings and how can I deal with this? Recently my partner made a list of things she wanted. 1. To visit her family. (500 miles away) 2. To go on holiday abroad to the sea. 3. To move in to ...
A. 20 August 2009: Starfairy,
Black and white is clear I know.. but what if she was just feeling down - what if she really does care but gets low - why would she continue to let me try to be the best I can for her if she is in an unhappy marriage. I know what you ... (read in full...)
I'm trying to do the best for her and she's distancing herself from me
Q. Should I admit to seeing my partners writings and how can I deal with this? Recently my partner made a list of things she wanted. 1. To visit her family. (500 miles away) 2. To go on holiday abroad to the sea. 3. To move in to ...
A. 20 August 2009: Starfairy,
Thank you for your reply. I don't feel too good for her at all. I have just done what I could out of love. I'm currently getting texts from her saying she is missing me and that her family are asking after me. My feelings are very mixe... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? - Is there anthing I could do to help this situation?
Q. I have another question. Could I tell you about my current feelings? On Monday I started my new job and we planned to go to the cinema today. I booked tickets yesterday. At work I get a message from her saying she had received a call from (an ex) ...
A. 23 July 2009: RedGreen0289
Thank you for your reply. I know I have to step back from this and try to understand what is really going on. Thank you for opening my eyes to that.
Today she is not responding at all. I have contacted to see how she is and to arran... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? - Is there anthing I could do to help this situation?
Q. I have another question. Could I tell you about my current feelings? On Monday I started my new job and we planned to go to the cinema today. I booked tickets yesterday. At work I get a message from her saying she had received a call from (an ex) ...
A. 23 July 2009: Emeline,
Thank you for your reply. I did explain to her that it made me feel a unwanted but she became angry and cold. Whenever we go out together she keeps me at a distance (in fact I am often alone for most of the evening because she does... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? - Is there anthing I could do to help this situation?
Q. I have another question. Could I tell you about my current feelings? On Monday I started my new job and we planned to go to the cinema today. I booked tickets yesterday. At work I get a message from her saying she had received a call from (an ex) ...
A. 23 July 2009: xCharlottex
Thank you for your reply. I appreciaite the time taken to respond. I am having difficulty with this one. One reason is that we had already had planned to go to the cinema and I had booked the tickets. Also the guy that called her was ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting? - Is there anthing I could do to help this situation?
Q. I have another question. Could I tell you about my current feelings? On Monday I started my new job and we planned to go to the cinema today. I booked tickets yesterday. At work I get a message from her saying she had received a call from (an ex) ...
A. 22 July 2009: I don't think something is 'going on' this question title was added by DaerCupid as I didn't add one. I would prefer the title:
"Am I overreacting? - Is there anthing I could do to help this situation?"... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying to make this relationship work?
Q. Should I keep trying to make this relationship work? I have known my partner for 9 years. We are in late 30s ealry 40s. We nearly got together twice before but remained close friends and then finally three years ago we did. She had many partners...
A. 28 May 2009: how_unsearchable, & silvershocker123 thanks for your responses. I think I need to add that I would agree with you if a guy has been texting and constantly ringing - but this is not the case here. Your take that she sent a message to put my mind at ... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying to make this relationship work?
Q. Should I keep trying to make this relationship work? I have known my partner for 9 years. We are in late 30s ealry 40s. We nearly got together twice before but remained close friends and then finally three years ago we did. She had many partners...
A. 28 May 2009: Thank you for your responses. I understand the need for freedom and space within a relationship and of course everyone needs that from time to time. I do agree with your assessment that if a person needs to have time alone then that is fine - and ... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying to make this relationship work?
Q. Should I keep trying to make this relationship work? I have known my partner for 9 years. We are in late 30s ealry 40s. We nearly got together twice before but remained close friends and then finally three years ago we did. She had many partners...
A. 27 May 2009: Thank you for your responses to my initial question. I have gone round and round in circles and at times have made myself useless both at work and as a person. Pretty much lost who I am in this. But I can't give up.
I have thought about putt... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying to make this relationship work?
Q. Should I keep trying to make this relationship work? I have known my partner for 9 years. We are in late 30s ealry 40s. We nearly got together twice before but remained close friends and then finally three years ago we did. She had many partners...
A. 23 May 2009: Question - What choice can I ask her to make?
Silvershocker123 - Thanks for your response. I understand it to a point. The idea of it finishing and the possility of it affecting any future relationship and the time needed to get over it... bu... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying to make this relationship work?
Q. Should I keep trying to make this relationship work? I have known my partner for 9 years. We are in late 30s ealry 40s. We nearly got together twice before but remained close friends and then finally three years ago we did. She had many partners...
A. 22 May 2009: Silvershocker123 - Thank you for your very helpful response. I have to say that the distinction you draw of my partner being in a state of comfort rather than in love with me emotionally & physically rings true. But I don't understand why she ... (read in full...)
Should I keep trying to make this relationship work?
Q. Should I keep trying to make this relationship work? I have known my partner for 9 years. We are in late 30s ealry 40s. We nearly got together twice before but remained close friends and then finally three years ago we did. She had many partners...
A. 22 May 2009: I really don't enjoy the 'emotional rollercoaster' britt429 - but I ecognise that I have been on it. It may be true that I am getting something out of it. I guess my self respect and self value have become so low that I am fulfilling my own ... (read in full...)
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