A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I think i might be a patholgical liar. Its not like i make up complete stories, but i constantly manipulate stories and tell lies. Like for example, this past week i was with my cousins and my one guy cousin whose close to my age saw me with my bikini top down (one big wave..) and what i ended up telling my best friend was that plus we almost accidentally kissed while playing marco polo and that he kept staring at me. I can't stop. Its almost like this need for attention. I even keep thinking about posting fake questions on the site, just to see the reactions. I haven't done it though. I can stop lying and I know its wrong. What can I do?
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male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (25 July 2011):
 I agree with you birdy. Im just saying that you only came off as bashing her and offered no solution to her problem. Like she said, she already new she was wrong. She just wanted some help with it. But hey, people raise there kids in different ways and they turn out great. Probably just goes to what works for the parent in general. I'm from more of the school of Heathcliff Huxtable I guess, LOL. Have a great day.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (25 July 2011):
 Kids need parent who aren't their 'friends' who regale them with their own youth; they need their actual parents. Parents need to not only consider their feelings, but teach them that every action has consequences. Morals are the one thing that parents can instill, and you may not appreciate that sometimes - we can't be their bff's. Sometimes - you have to make them realize that their words are going to come back to haunt them, and teach them why you can't expect to get a free pass on your actions.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (25 July 2011):
I actually have a dog named Dufus. I have two kids that have turned out MORE than alright at 25 and 29, so I don't need parenting advice.
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A
female
reader, Share Bear  +, writes (24 July 2011):
 Hey, hon,
A couple of thoughts for you;
My first thoughts were similar to angelDlite's post- if you want exciting stories to be able tell people- go out there and make the exciting stories really happen! Then you can twice as much fun sharing the highs and lows with your close friends afterwards.
But... I guess that it depends how you want to live your life... You don't want to end up doing things just so as you can 'show and tell' about it all afterwards- You know the phrase don't kiss and tell? -The phrase isn't just about keeping intimacy as it should be, it’s about subtlety too.
Don't spend your life forever trying to 'impress' or entertain people with what you do- exaggerated or otherwise. Life is about living it for you. The sooner you realise this, the sooner you can enjoy living life how you want it.
I actually find that playing things down can it takes the pressure off anyway. If you build yourself up with 'oh, I'm confident that I win this race/ competition etc' -the more people will expect you do so. As soon as you tell any lie you have to live with the guilt of it and with the risk of people finding out.
If you're honest about life from the start, you can take the pressure off and get people's reassurance, advise and support 'I'm not sure I can manage such-and-such, I could do with your support/ encouragement to train/ practise/ revise this week etc' -And this is exactly what you're doing right now- so this is a great step in the right direction!
Also consider that if you wouldn't want the people you trust to tell lies to you; then treat them with enough respect not to lie to them either.
Stay focused on doing everything you can to avoid that horrible guilty feeling when you've told a lie- and the fear of being found out.
Maybe you could even focus on someone that you look up to- your mum or dad or a favourite teacher who would be really disappointed to find out that you'd told a lie. And work at being the person that YOU want to be. (Not even role models are perfect after all!)
Set your target on being the honest person that you want to be, and then concentrate on how much you enjoy the security and comfort of being honest with those that trust you.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (24 July 2011):
Hey Birdy.The "ya dufus" was meant more as an lol tounge and cheak thing. This is anon by the way, got no problem using my real call name. Didnt mean to check the box, I havent been on here in a while. Anyway I am a father of a 12 yr old and if she comes to me and says "dad I keep telling lies and making up stories at school, what do I do?". I'm not going to get angry with her and tell her she is bad and to stop it. I'm going to sit down with her and talk to her about it and give her advice. Kids are going to do dumb things sometimes. Parents need to stop themselves from getting angry and start helping instead.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (24 July 2011):
Hey anon,
Put your name behind your 'mouth' like the rest of us and stop name calling.
I talk like a Mom cause that's what I am.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (24 July 2011):
 If you want real down to earth advice on what you can actually do about this, I ownt go down into trying to analyze why you do this. Could be a need for attention/drama/you're bored, but it could be anything between heaven and earth. Whatever it is, YOU are very much in control over what comes out of your mouth. No one is forcing you. And you can CHOOSE to speak, or stay quiet. Just the same you choose your words.
So my advice to you is to think before you speak. Wait a little with responding, don't jump into conversations or answer a question within the next milli second. Pause, think, then speak with words you have chosen, and not words that simply come to mind.
The words you say have great impact on people. So do not be carefree with what you say, and think first.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks! I know in my head its wrong, but my mouth seems to have a mind of its own. I've always been told to stop and think before I speak. I do stupid stuff because of it other than lying. Now i need to stop saying I will in my head and actually put it into action. Thanks!
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (24 July 2011):
 you are portraying to people a version of a life that you wish you were having. maybe you feel like your life is lacking in interesting things/activities/excitement. if so, get out and do something about this.
for instance, rather than make up lies about your cousin kissing you - go out and find a boyfriend so you will not feel the need to lie about kisses that never happened.
you need to stop and think before blabbing about stuff like this, kisses between cousins are frowned upon by a lot of people so stories like this could earn you and your cousin a bad reputation. lies can have very nasty consequences for innocent people - always remember that. when you tell someone a lie, sure they will be impressed with you, briefly, but then when the truth comes out you will lose their adoration, respect and trust possibly forever. its not worth it
x
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A
female
reader, SweetSmoochy +, writes (24 July 2011):
 You've recognized that there is a problem. Good!
Ok, so, first off, kids lie. It's sad but true. You are just about done being a kid, so it's obviously time to stop, and what's good is that you already know that. Try on your own telling nothing but the complete truth 100% of the time. Work at it, and this problem will probably resolve.
If that doesn't work, go to a counselor for some more help.
I think you're probably just being a kid. Just work really hard on not lying and it'll get easier and easier to be truthful.
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A
female
reader, Tyedyedturtle +, writes (24 July 2011):
 If it is a true compulsive psychological disorder, just stopping might be easier said than done. Counseling might be in order. However, try to think a little bit before you speak and try to control your words. If you see little to no improvement over the course of a few weeks, consult those close to you and seek medical help. Best of luck!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): Hey birdynumnums, she admitted to it and asked for help not degradation. She knows it's wrong and wants to "stop it", ya dufus. Anyway, I used to do stuff like this in school too. I think it was because I never seemed to have any good stories or anything really cool happen to me to tell other people about while it seemed my friends had really good stories. But I think quite a few of them embelished a bit on their stories. Just try to catch yourself before opening your mouth. I noticed with myself that right before I started talking I kinda planned what I was going to say in my head. It's at this point that you should mentally say to yourself to wake up and don't lie. I might take some time but you will find that interesting things will happen to you the older you get so you wont have to lie anymore.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (24 July 2011):
Did your parents never read you the story "The Little Boy Who Cried 'Wolf'"?
You are destroying your own creditability and shooting yourself in the foot all at the same time! Eventually, you will erode your own credibility and eventually, none of them will want to be friends with you at this rate, because they WILL know you are lying, based on repeated behavior.
No one is impressed.
Stop it.
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