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... Send *handygirl a private message | | | *handygirl's profile:Hi everyone!
I am 53yrs old and got married for the first time at the age of 42. I am now in a pending divorce.
I have been completely on my own since I was 18 yrs old. I came from a very strict family, which also means that I was sheltered from the world, and was very naive at that age.
When left home, I had tons of adverse & dangerous experiences, and had to learn everything the hard way ... alone.
When I read a question that reminds me of an event that was in my life, or the life of a friend, I reply honestly, empathy, and to THE POINT.
We ALL need advice from time to time, that is how I found this wonderful website, because I also needed help.
So here we are... friends who probably will never meet each other face to face, but who are of great value to each other. I appreciate all of you! Thank you for helping me with my questions, and I'll try my best to answer yours, while looking out for your interests, also. |
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My boyfriends best friend makes me horny!
Q. hey people.... i really need help... basically,theres this boy iv liked for SOO long,and he knows it,,but now im going out with his best friend,he doesnt know about this,and at school he comes up to me ,,,and touches my but and stuff,,and it ma...
A. 29 January 2008: If you crave another guy other than your boyfriend, then evidently you should no longer be with your boyfriend. Get rid of your boyfriend first, before you do anything with someone else.
I am not being judgemental, but are you sure that you want... (read in full...)
He cheated with his ex and dumped me because I am too controlling.
Q. Ok...Well, I've known this guy for about 8 years. We started dating 9 months ago but he dumped me 2 months ago...because *He* cheated on me and had sex with his ex. So after that day I would try to restrict him from going over his friends' houses o...
A. 28 January 2008: I don't think that you are too controlling... I think that you are smart! You don't want him to go over to his "ex's" place just to "chill"....hmmmm... well he already showed you what he does when he goes over to an "ex's"
I don't mean to sound hars... (read in full...)
I found messages between my husband and his ex on the internet,he went out with her, I can't get over the hurt
Q. I need advise on somthing that is tearing me apart. I have been happily married for 8 years and my husband and i have a great life together. I will get to the point, he has been using Facebook for the past couple of months and comes home an...
A. 28 January 2008: I have been there too. It hurts, and it is hard to trust him afterwards.
Sometimes men do unreasonable things without thinking of the consequences.
I know how it was when I found an old friend on the internet, I was wxcited! But, it was a female f... (read in full...)
Confused...I still love her, but I'm not happy and I want to leave.
Q. I'm 24 years old and have been in a relationship for 5 years. We have a one year old daughter together and we have plans to get married. In the beginning it was rocky and I wasnt the best boyfriend. I cheated on her. But now I believe that I have ...
A. 28 January 2008: A lot of people think about leaving when they are going through tough times in their relationship.
Concerning the fact that you cheated on her, it will take time for her to trust you again... and patience from you to give her a chance to do so agai... (read in full...)
Boy troubled, sex involved...:(
Q. I was going out with this boy for about a year... it was great but ended we never did get that close, sexually wise, only a bit of foreplay.. Since weve broken up ( about a year later ) we cant keep our hands of eachother.. We know theres somethin...
A. 28 January 2008: Un-protected sex... not a good thing. Not only do you have to worry about getting pregnant, but also about catching AIDS.
Maybe you have't thought about having consideration and respect for his girlfriend's feelings. But I think you should. Woul... (read in full...)
Stressed out because my army guy hardly contacts me!
Q. Im getting really stressed about my boyfriend of two years. He is in the army and been real busy at work recently but have hardly had any contact with him for a week. Last sunday he said he couldn't wait to see me again and called me sexy but hardly ...
A. 27 January 2008: If he doen't anser your phone calls, then text him. Tell him that you miss him and that you can't wait to see him.
Most likely, he is really busy, and is in a schedule which is beyond his control.... (read in full...)
Stressed out because my army guy hardly contacts me!
Q. Im getting really stressed about my boyfriend of two years. He is in the army and been real busy at work recently but have hardly had any contact with him for a week. Last sunday he said he couldn't wait to see me again and called me sexy but hardly ...
A. 27 January 2008: If he doen't anser your phone calls, then text him. Tell him that you miss him and that you can't wait to see him.
Most likely, he is really busy, and is in a schedule which is beyond his control.... (read in full...)
I don't want the abortion...But they're all pressuring me!
Q. I'm 17 and 8-9 weeks pregnant. I have my first midwife appointment on the 25th February. My boyfriend and parents are basically forcing me into an abortion that I don't want because I KNOW that after it I will be a wreck. Sure abortion is for ...
A. 26 January 2008: Being a "Single Parent" is a rough thing to go through. I had several girlfriends who were. They struggled working 2 jobs, plus paying babysitters. Did you talk to your Mom to ask if she can help you with the baby while you continue school? ... (read in full...)
My friends fiance keeps coming onto me! How do I deal with this?
Q. i've been friends with my mate for about 3 years now. of all my friends she's the craziest and wildist. then she met a bloke fell in love and after 2 months she got engaged. she then fell pregnant (having both decided they wanted a baby straight ...
A. 26 January 2008: I had the same problem once. It was annoying to say the least. He also told me that "We need to talk." And tried to make physical advances to me. He even would come knocking on my door. Next time that he acts like this, you need to BLUNTLY set h... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend treat me like a princess anymore??
Q. My boyfriend and I usually talk in "baby voice" to each other, he talks that way when he is being really sweet and wants to show me affection. I admit I haven't been very nice in the past and when he would act like that I would get mad at him abou...
A. 26 January 2008: THERE YA GO GIRL ! ... Now you are starting to sound like a sane WOMAN. I am proud of you! (seriously) Welcome to the "Kingdom of Womanhood" :) You are at the stage of growing into a Queen!... (read in full...)
How do I overcome his hypocritical ways of trusting?
Q. My other half is currently in the Army. He's preparing to go to Iraq, he'll be leaving in June 2008 until September 2009. This will be his second time. We've conversated on a few things. One of the topic was my exes. What happened? Why this? W...
A. 26 January 2008: He is just scared. Hold steadfast in reassuring him.... (read in full...)
I am 19 and surrounded by women I feel I can't communicate with.
Q. I need help, i am a 19 year old guy who has problems approaching women. I am a pretty good looking guy but i just can't build up the nerve to do it. I plan on what i will do then i chicken out. I am in college and surrounded by women that i f...
A. 25 January 2008: I copied advice that I gave another guy who has the same problem as you... you are not alone..............
You Know what? I think if I were looking at you... and you "winked" at me, in a nice way, I would think that you are soooo sexy.
Girls l... (read in full...)
Why won't my boyfriend treat me like a princess anymore??
Q. My boyfriend and I usually talk in "baby voice" to each other, he talks that way when he is being really sweet and wants to show me affection. I admit I haven't been very nice in the past and when he would act like that I would get mad at him abou...
A. 25 January 2008: Baby Talk isn't everything. If he still treats you well, and tells you he loves you... what is the problem?
You already admittedly said,...." I know how childish and pathetic it is to be this way"..... "He says it makes him miserable and he feel... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to give him oral sex but I don't want to...what should I do??
Q. My boyfriend wants me to preform oral sex but I don't want to. What should I do?...
A. 25 January 2008: Oral sex isn't for everyone. If you are uncomfortable with it, why force yourself to do it?
OR... Maybe you can compromise with him. Maybe you can tell him that you will do it for a little while, as long as he promises not to cum in your mout... (read in full...)
Does she just want to move in for sex??
Q. I have been having sex with my girl friend for last 3 months. We both love lot of sex and we both get it..but since recently my gf is asking me if she can stay with me living together...but im worried is this just because of sex or does she needs me ...
A. 25 January 2008: I think that... When a woman LOVES a man, she can't get enough of him. I can't see any problem in THAT ... Enjoy and relax!... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and a boy in class touched me innapropriately!
Q. I'm only 13 years old and I'm really scared. A boy in my class touched my private:( he just, you know pushed me against my locker and rubbed himself against my body and also touche my private. what do i do? ...
A. 25 January 2008: Tell an Adult! For example : Your Parents, your Teacher, the Principal, or a School Counselor.
You don't HAVE to handle this thing alone. And if you do try to handle it alone, it won't work, because it won't be enough to make him stop. I am spea... (read in full...)
Our sex life is in tatters due to his affair. How can We move on!?
Q. Hi people, My husband had an affair last year. We have made enourmous progress in trying to get back on track, but it is tough. Through the recovery process, our sex life obviously has come into discussion and debate. Our sex life pri...
A. 25 January 2008: Boy... I have a lot of empathy for you!
When you are resentful, feel betrayed, and don't feel in your gut that the person you are with REALLY loves you... it kills your sex life. UNDERSTANDABLE and very normal. I am not trying to be mean... but,... (read in full...)
Should I tell her I like her or stay silent?
Q. Well, it's such a breathtaking relationship that I can no longer take. It's a somewhat unulitral love. I guess this is the hardest thing I've ever been through. As a matter of fact, Once you live in an isolated island alone, ya only think about a ...
A. 25 January 2008: Have you been spending "one on one" hang out time with her? If so, your next move is to touch her hand... look deep into her eyes... and SMILE. Don't say anything though, and don't hold her hand for tooooo long. If she looks into YOUR eyes and ... (read in full...)
How do I find a boyfriend who is not selfish or sexual??
Q. I really want a boyfriend but most of the boys at school are selfish or sexual. How do i know the difference before it is to late??...
A. 25 January 2008: Honey... you are still very young. What's the rush? If I were you, be friends with guys, treat them like they are your brothers. Having a "brother" relationship with a guy at your age would be verry rewarding. If they want to touch your chest... (read in full...)
How do I overcome his hypocritical ways of trusting?
Q. My other half is currently in the Army. He's preparing to go to Iraq, he'll be leaving in June 2008 until September 2009. This will be his second time. We've conversated on a few things. One of the topic was my exes. What happened? Why this? W...
A. 25 January 2008: Sounds to me as though he adores you, but is afraid of being hurt, so therefore wants to prepare for that hurt by pushing you away. I am quilty of doing that myself, so I am talking from experience. Call him for no reason at all sometimes, just to ... (read in full...)
I want out of this relationship but I don't know how to break it too her!
Q. Ok, i have posted for help 2 times so far and both i have not added ALL the information, and iwant to be 100% sure about my next moves. AND I AM SORRY THAT THIS MAY BE VERY LONG!, but please read it all and help. ive been with my fiancee for...
A. 24 January 2008: Well, it isn't fair to her if you don't love her enough to stay with her. She could be meeting someone who REALLY adores her, if you would just LET HER GO.
Breakups are never happy affairs. But, being with someone who doesn't love you isn't good... (read in full...)
Is this girl jealous of me?
Q. Is She Jealous? This girl at my school in high school keeps calling me a slut i am a virgin and all but she conitues to call me a slut now like in jr.high and i am really sick and tired of it. I know I'm not a slut but what do i do about this gi...
A. 24 January 2008: P.S. Or maybe you should feel sorry for her...
I want to share an experience with you ... When I was your age ... I went out to a Dance Club with my "then" hangout buddy, she was always jealous of good looking girls. One time, there was a GORG... (read in full...)
Is this girl jealous of me?
Q. Is She Jealous? This girl at my school in high school keeps calling me a slut i am a virgin and all but she conitues to call me a slut now like in jr.high and i am really sick and tired of it. I know I'm not a slut but what do i do about this gi...
A. 24 January 2008: I had the same experience when I was your age. It sounds to me as though she is extremely jealous of you. She calls you names... not because she THINKS you are, but rather, she is only trying to bring down your self esteem. Don't let it. YOU KNOW ... (read in full...)
He hurt me so badly and he's still being really cruel, what do I do?
Q. My ex and I had been together for three years. We were a perfect fit. For years we were inseperable and I felt like no one in the world understood me like he did. It even went as far as us having our own language. I trusted him, and I have to say I ...
A. 24 January 2008: I feel for you. I have had that type of thing happen to me too... plenty of times.
It seems to me that you may have no other choice but to move on.
But before you do, give it one last try by talking with him to clarify what is going on. Tell hi... (read in full...)
This girl can't get over her paranoia and it's starting to feel like she doesn't trust me.
Q. Ive been with my girl for just over 7 months now and i love her to bits, but she always says how she doesn't deserve me, and asks; "There are way better lookin girls than me why have you chosen me, wouldn't u prefer to be with them?" To begin ...
A. 24 January 2008: I agree with Laura1318. TOTALLY! I also want to add... avoid even GLANCING at another girl when you are with her. As insecure as she is, it would hurt her tremendously. Maybe you may want to consider buying her a rose... out of the blue, OR ... (read in full...)
I don't like how much time he spends with the boys. What can I do?
Q. I have been married for nine months. I am from a small town, but lived in a large city for awhile. I met my boyfriend, now husband, and moved to his small town with him ( from the city). We are now married and expecting our first baby. I do not mind ...
A. 24 January 2008: A wife should be a man's BEST FRIEND. A man's priority should be his FAMILY. You & I are on the SAME PAGE concerning that.
When you talk to him about this issue, try to remain calm, and speak softly. Tell him you miss him when he goes out so much... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy friend says "you know that I love you"?
Q. What does it mean when a guy friend says you know that i love you? We have been friends for about 2 yrs now and the whole story is complicated and we have already done the bedroom thing. So that leaves out the whole get in ur pants thing. We don't ...
A. 24 January 2008: P.S. Say " I LOVE YOU TOO " if you mean it.... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy friend says "you know that I love you"?
Q. What does it mean when a guy friend says you know that i love you? We have been friends for about 2 yrs now and the whole story is complicated and we have already done the bedroom thing. So that leaves out the whole get in ur pants thing. We don't ...
A. 24 January 2008: Next time he says he loves you... ask him what he means by that. Get it clarified !... (read in full...)
Why can't he let go of his ex??
Q. Hey there... I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. we live together, and we always talk about getting married someday... i love him more than anything and want to spend my life with him, but i have some issues i kinda need help wit...
A. 24 January 2008: Oh... I didn't see the part where you said that you already went through his phone... GOOD GIRL!!!
I know your pain... you are not alone.
You WILL get through this... be strong.
If you go to the race track.... DON'T GET PHYSICAL... remember tha... (read in full...)
Why can't he let go of his ex??
Q. Hey there... I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now. we live together, and we always talk about getting married someday... i love him more than anything and want to spend my life with him, but i have some issues i kinda need help wit...
A. 24 January 2008: You have EVERY RIGHT to feel uncomfortable about this situation.
You know what I would do? I would go into his cell-phone while he is sound asleep, and read his texts to her.
I would also go to the race track... confront the truth face to face.... (read in full...)
Why can't he accept it's over? He's doing my head in!
Q. So me and my ex have been talking ALOT over the last few days and its him calling me all day on Monday and when he wasn't calling he was texting me! Drove me nuts as I didn't get anything done but him calling sooo much.Almost every second of my day ...
A. 23 January 2008: Avoid him! Do you have a phone that displays who is calling? If not, get an answering machine where you can hear who is calling before you pick up the phone. Don't pick up the phone if you know that it is him, unless you FEEL like talking to him.. ... (read in full...)
What's the next best step to healing myself?
Q. Dear cupid. I have been in a very emotionally abusive relationship with someone for the past 4 years where I have been lonely most of the time and was confused whether I should call it quits or stick around. About 2 weeks ago I regained contact...
A. 23 January 2008: Every relationship should be treated as though it is your first, no matter how many you have had previously.
Give this a chance. Each person is different... don't make THIS ONE pay for your past misfortunes.
... (read in full...)
My right breast is larger than my left - is this normal?
Q. I'm 17, and I've noticed that my right breast is bigger than my left one. Is this normal? It's not looads bigger, but quite a fair bit. I read a story in a magazine once about a girl needing surgery because one was significantly bigger, and now I'm ...
A. 18 January 2008: Yes... me too. In fact, one ear is lower than the other, and the left side of your face is not identical to the other side. It is natural. I don't like it either, and I am sure that millions of other people don't also.... (read in full...)
How should I go about making our relationship something more?
Q. ok so im 17 now before u think "oh he's got a problem" please read everything. I really like a girl and we get on really well but my problem is that she is only 12 atm. Honestly, we just get on so well, we always make each other laugh and see lots...
A. 18 January 2008: She is only 12. She is still a child. If you mess around with her, you could get into BIG trouble with the law.
Wait until she grows up, ok? If you care about her, you will do what is BEST for her.... (read in full...)
He cant stay faithfull to anyone! Should I tell his girlfriend?
Q. this boy has been going out with his girlfriend an few months now, and has cheated on her twice with me, and a bit with a couple of others. yes he's a cheat, but she knows about the others and they are happy together. i told my friends about it...
A. 15 January 2008: I agree with "Annalisa"
If I were you, I would go with her advise.
... (read in full...)
My new guy says that he's"over" his ex-wife, but I just don't believe him...
Q. I finalized my divorce last fall and started dating six months later. I hit it off immediately with a man who moved out sooner but who only resolved his divorce last month. He says he's over his last wife (she left him) and "is not going back t...
A. 15 January 2008: I agree with "NordicBeauty+"
If I were you...I would Try to be "Just Friends" with him for now.... (read in full...)
Is my ex trying to rekindle something and wanting me back slowly? Lonng post but I need advice!! Thanks!
Q. Well I kicked this New Year off with on hell of a bang! I get offered a job I never expected I would ever have and had a great interview! Waiting now till 1-28 to see if I did get it.Double the money and laid back job with me as a front end ...
A. 15 January 2008: Yep... sounds like he is trying to rekindle... but do you want him. If you take him back, do you think he can make you happy?... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong for me to tell her when she looks nice, or compliment her at all without giving too much away?
Q. Dear those with superior knowledge :). I'm getting quite close to a good friend of mine. She's just broken up with her previous bf of 2 years and has taken it pretty rough. However she's slowly getting over it. I really like her and enjoy ever...
A. 15 January 2008: oh... and if I may add... take her to places & events. The more occupied she is, the more she will pull through her breakup.... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong for me to tell her when she looks nice, or compliment her at all without giving too much away?
Q. Dear those with superior knowledge :). I'm getting quite close to a good friend of mine. She's just broken up with her previous bf of 2 years and has taken it pretty rough. However she's slowly getting over it. I really like her and enjoy ever...
A. 15 January 2008: Yes! Compliment her. She needs to know.
If her BF is the one who initiated the breakup, then she needs all of the "Self-Esteeme" boosts that she can get! If you want, buy her little inexpensive gifts too. Like maybe a small stuffed animal, a flow... (read in full...)
I feel like an adult trapped inside a little girl's body...
Q. I am really getting upset. I am a 15 year old girl, I feel trapped inside that number. I feel like an adult trapped inside a little girl's body, it is driving me insane, fighting between being a child, and being an adult. When I look at males my age ...
A. 15 January 2008: chlez83's advice makes me unconfortable too. Stay away from meeting guys on the internet... it is DANGEROUS!
Answering your attraction to older guys... I have always been the same way. But you are only 15, under age. To have a relationship with... (read in full...)
How do I respond to this guy? Should I give him all my attention or be more calm?
Q. Although i speak with the man i used to date last year and i saw him some times during this year there isn't easy to arrange to meet each other. Usually he is working or he has a lot of social responsibilities so he hasn't plenty free time. ...
A. 15 January 2008: I don't mean to offend you, but it sounds to me like he has another woman.... (read in full...)
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