A
female
age
30-35,
*hloepetal
writes:I was going out with this boy for about a year... it was great but ended we never did get that close, sexually wise, only a bit of foreplay.. Since weve broken up ( about a year later ) we cant keep our hands of eachother.. We know theres something there for eachother we just know that getting into a relationship wouldnt be the best thing to do... He has a girl friend and last night at a party we had sex (unprotected) he said he didnt cum but im not convinced.. im going to take the morning after pill. I cant help but love this boy... Can anyone suggest to what i could do. It kills me to see him with other girls.. :( x
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female
reader, missnatd03 +, writes (28 January 2008):
 sorry but it seems hes using you for sex and your using him for maybe affection maybe you should put his new GF into consideration break it off with him Stop sleeping with him and if he likes you as much as you like him he wouldnt still be with his current GF sorry
xox natalie xox
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2008): You can "help it" just fine.
Nobody is making your decisions for you. You can feel whatever you want for him, but whether or not you act on it is entirely in YOUR control.
So do yourself a favor:
Don't have more sex with him on the side and then cry when he won't start treating you better & break up with his GF over you.
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A
female
reader, shandygirl  +, writes (28 January 2008):
 Un-protected sex... not a good thing. Not only do you have to worry about getting pregnant, but also about catching AIDS.
Maybe you have't thought about having consideration and respect for his girlfriend's feelings. But I think you should. Would you like it if you were his girlfriend, and he was cheating on YOU? Do you want to be his girlfriend again? Does he say anything about breaking up with his girlfriend? Are the both of you MUTUALLY using each other just for sex?
Think seriously about what is going on here. Do you think it is right? Maybe right now, it is not your concern. But in the future when you catch a boyfriend or husband cheating on you, then you will know how it feels to be on the receiving side.
I don't think that you are a bad person, and I am not being judgemental... I am only trying to get you to open up your mind...
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A
female
reader, mizzbrannon +, writes (28 January 2008):
i think you should leave him alone because he has a girlfriend an how do you think you would feel if you were in her position.
if he loved you he would break up with his girlfriend so you could be together but he is just using you for sex because obviously his girlfriend isnt doing the job or he's just a PIG
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): Darling, I've been in this situation but you have to have soe self respect.
He has a gf, however much you want to think it, HE IS USING U. he has a gf. and its not you.
get rid.
plus, imagine how his gf would feel if she knew?
it hurts.
x
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A
female
reader, xXxSTARxXx +, writes (27 January 2008):
It seems like he didnt want to be sexually active while in a relationship. He was probably not mature enuf to commitment 100% as it would take the relationship to a more serious level of commitment.
Nw dat he is free of that, he seems like he is js using you 4 sex. If he wanted to have sex y not do it with js his girlfriend, the boy is a cheat whicheva way you look at it. If you were with him nw, wud u b able to trust him to nt treat the way he is treating his current girl? Think bout it, if he wanted to be with you then u 2 wudnt have broken up. If he loved u den he wudnt put u in dis situation. It seems to me hes js playing with you. Sorry but i think its best to leave him wel alone. U will be able to find some1 who is goin to treat u better, i no it sounds corny, but in the end ur js goin to be left heart broken.
Hope things work out 4 u
If you carry on the way u are n keep havin a sexual relationship with this boy, ur the only one dat is going to end up gettin hurt. It is also not fair to his girl, cud
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): .. Yes, I would agree. If he loved you, then he would dump his girlfriend and would not just want sex, but also an emotional relationship.
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A
female
reader, nailglitter18  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 I agree with cd206 on this one. I know it's not something any of us wants to hear. A very good friend of mine is going through the exact same thing, and she got the same advice.
It might be hard, it might be easy. But you have to take the stand, for your own self-respect. You may love him, but chances are, so does his girlfriend. You may have had him first, but his girlfriend has him NOW. It's important to respect her and her "turf". But remember- a leopard will never change its stripes (mixing metaphors here :P )- he's messing with you whilst he's got another girl on the side. What does this tell you about anything you two might have in the future?
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Okay... I'm trying to find a way to say this without sounding patronising but look at the facts....
He broke up with you and has another girlfriend. You both have sex and you love him. If he loved you why is he still with his girlfriend? It seems to me that he is using you for sex and putting the idea in your head that a relationship is wrong. Why is it wrong? Simply because he doesn't see why he should break up with his girlfriend when right now, he's getting the sex for free from 2 girls. That has to be a major bloke fantasy. I don't know if any of the agony uncles can back me up?
My advice? Stop having sex with him. If he loves you too this won't be an issue. If it's all about the sex for him it'll become clear very quickly indeed.
CD
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