A
female
age
41-50,
*obme
writes:So me and my ex have been talking ALOT over the last few days and its him calling me all day on Monday and when he wasn't calling he was texting me! Drove me nuts as I didn't get anything done but him calling sooo much.Almost every second of my day since he is texting me all day and hitting me up online and calling me alot now.I am getting my tax return in 2 weeks and he knows I am car shopping and he is stepping up BIGTIME by trying to find me the PERFECT car where he live is GA and I live here in IN.Told me tonite that he wants me to fly down to GA when I get my tax money and go car shopping with him, stay a few days, buy the car, drive it home 10 hours to IN again.Then he said he wants me to do this in Feb and leave on Valentines Day to return home landing on the 12th in GA.I heard him mumble oh no not V-day..then said I would be going home that day.Whatever I thought.NEW CAR!!Now he sprung his idea of coming up here to IN for our daughters spring break and him staying at my house for a whole week and I about stopped breathing like WHAT?Cool I get to keep her here for her break but mixed on him staying here a week.He is busting his butt trying to car shop online and off and determined to get me there to buy one too and even shopped and told me how much my one way airline ticket going there would be and all. I am so shocked by this behavior that I am hot and cold and wondering what is he doing? I mean me being in a house I never was in and then he gets all excited talking taking that next day off to be with me and get my car.After 2 years and a divorce last summer, I am lost and confused on him doing all this and my head is spinning like I have a few crying episodes not understanding him right now. I react by saying we are not getting back together and I love my life now here in IN alot.He ignores that and pushes more in detail on communication with me.! HELP! I dont know if I could ever forgive him and take him back..this is all bittersweet alot.
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divorce, money, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (24 January 2008):
I think you are being too soft on him and i honestly think you have a soft spot for him.Deep down i think you know what to do but don't have the strength to do it.He's going to complicate your life and you'll be caught up in a web.Either stop communicating with him so much or decide to get back with him.Good Luck.
A
female
reader, tobme +, writes (24 January 2008):
tobme is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks to all of you on here! I am getting a car from GA as I could NOT pass this car up though! Its a 2000 Dodge Intrepid it has 42000 miles on it and the Carfax report on it is CLEAN.My ex had found it and I spoke all day yesterday with the dealeship as I am paying full cash for this car and I will fly down to GA and next day buy the car then a day later drive it home to IN for good.My ex has been really supportive and done so much around this car even having it checked out and booking my flight that its nice of him to do and I am thankful, but staying strong and he knows this is all about my car andnot him and I.He has even talked about now not coming here to stay a week to be with our daughter for spring break too.Somehow I am thanking he is doing this to heal guilt on how we ended and I think this will bring closer as I can get my stuff from his house that I havent been able to get and drive home happy again.I have asked him is he is wanting us back together and he says NO.I just want my car home safe and life to resume here in IN. :)Its a great deal!
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A
female
reader, Lily Moll +, writes (24 January 2008):
If you really don't want to be with him, you need to make that crystal clear to him, since he sounds like he's getting carried away in fantasy land right now. Tempting as it may be, don't let him do anything for you, and don't accept any gifts or favors from him. You've let him in on a major decision in your life (making a major purchase-- buying a car) and he seems to have taken it as an in. His behavior also sounds a bit controlling, especially the bit of mapping out what you're going to do, and when, how much it's going to cost, and refusing to hear you when you tell him you're happy in IN. Perhaps some breathing room would be best for you both?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 You have to decide if you want him back or not. If you have decided then you will know what you will have to do.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): Tell him it's over and not to keep contacting you. If he persists hang up on him.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (23 January 2008):
 Avoid him! Do you have a phone that displays who is calling? If not, get an answering machine where you can hear who is calling before you pick up the phone. Don't pick up the phone if you know that it is him, unless you FEEL like talking to him.. Don't answer his text messages.
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