A
male
age
41-50,
*iam Palmer
writes:Dear cupid. I have been in a very emotionally abusive relationship with someone for the past 4 years where I have been lonely most of the time and was confused whether I should call it quits or stick around.About 2 weeks ago I regained contact with an ex of mine which I have tried to find for the past 2 years. Once I saw her again I realized that I never stopped loving her and she feels the same. Anyway I broke off my relationship with my 4yr rel girlfriend because I believe that I need to look after my needs my future and happiness which I believe is my new girlfriend.Unfortunately I sit with a lot of emotional baggage and am constantly paranoid whether she is honest about her feelings with me even though she hasn't given me any reason to worry. I have been honest about my previous relationship and she knows that I am working through all this chaos at the moment (ex is still phoning me abusing me over the phone etc). I need to find peace and make peace with my past but I am finding it really hard, feels like every time I step one up she drags me down. I also don't know whats the next best step to healing myself and not blowing which I believe might be the best thing ever happening to me. Need help!Kind regards
View related questions:
emotionally abusive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kaitlynlover  +, writes (18 February 2008):
I like this girl and we talk on the phone alot. I liked her from the start then she gave me her #. So I called her and we talked a lot. One night we even talked until midnight. The next day we talked some more and we both told each other who we liked. It was awazing. But now I don't know what the next step is do I ask her out. What does that mean anyway? PLZ someone help me.
A
male
reader, chlez83  +, writes (24 January 2008):
I feel your pain man but you need to be strong for your sake.I'm also coming from an emotionally abusive and manipulative relationship and certainly agree that the first major step is to forgive those who have wronged you and secondly is to build self-esteem and confidence.Look at the positive things about you and learn to love yourself.Take care.
...............................
A
male
reader, Liam Palmer +, writes (24 January 2008):
Liam Palmer is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the good advice everyone I really do appreciate it! Its seems as above all I do have trust issues and I need to open my heart for someone else? Every Relationship is different! Liam
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 If you want healing to begin , you will need to forgive all those who did you wrong and ask forgiveness from those whom you have wrongs.
You need to forgive yourself for what you have done wrong.
Let it go and don't be too harsh with yourself.
We are only human and make mistakes in life.
...............................
A
female
reader, shandygirl +, writes (23 January 2008):
 Every relationship should be treated as though it is your first, no matter how many you have had previously.
Give this a chance. Each person is different... don't make THIS ONE pay for your past misfortunes.
...............................
A
male
reader, core_confusion  +, writes (23 January 2008):
 I'm sorry to hear of your last relationship. I can deffinitely say that breaking free from it was the right thing to do.
I think that maybe you need a fresh start with you new partner, somewhere that you abusive ex cannot get hold of you. I can immage that it must be so hard to trust anyone right now but if your new partner has not given you a reason not to believe them either now or in the past then somehow I think that you need to find the strength for a little trust and build from there.
Changing your phone number and going ex- directory will prevent your ex from calling you and it may be possible to get some kind of legal order set against her if she is making a real nuisance of herself.
If you have been honnest with your new partner and they understand and accept this then perhaps you can take small steps together to build your relationship and begin the healing process. This is going to take time but you have made the biggest step already by breaking free and making the decision of a fresh start.
I wish you all the best and hope that everything works out for you.
...............................
|
