A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm not really sure if this is the right place to ask this, so sorry if it's not! Basically, I'm really worried about my dad. His dad, granddad AND uncle all suffered from debilitating strokes at around 55, that left them disabled for life. They all developed diabetes around age 50 that probably caused their strokes. My dad is now approaching 50 and has many of the risk factors for having a stroke. He drinks more than I would like him to, is a big man, (not overweight, but has always been built large) and has cardiac arrhythmia. Because of his excessive family history of stroke I'm getting concerned as he approaches his 50th birthday. I have already told him to get regularly checked for diabetes, but don't know what more advice to give. I know that prevention is key when it comes to strokes as aside from physiotherapy, there isn't much that can be done for a severe stroke once it has occurred. The thing that upsets me most is that his dad, granddad and uncle all had long term wives that could care for them after they had had their stroke. My dad split up with my mum a long time ago, and I live far away. He has nobody to care for him if anything happened. I really want to give him advice that will give him the best possible chance of avoiding having a stroke as I feel that's all I can do. But the internet is so contradictory I just don't know what advice to give! Can anybody help? Thank you :) x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): I understand your being so concerned. You never know, he may well be equally worried. It's good to talk to him about this stuff, if he's open to it.There are a few investigations people can get, who may be at risk of stroke. Normally in UK they'd be done after a TIA (transient ischamic attack) They'd be blood tests for glucose and cholesterol; carotid artery dopplers and CT head. CT head definitely wouldn't be done without symptoms but carotid artery dopplers might be, because of the strong family history and the arrhythmia. It's definitely worth him asking the GP about this if he is concerned. However, YOU can't discuss it with his GP without his consent because that would breach patient confidentiality.If you are very concerned about this, why not talk to your own GP about it. They won't be able to share any of your dad's history or details with you, but they will be able to explain the options far better than internet sites. Your GP may write to your dad's GP if he feels that from what you tell him, your dad is at risk and needs to have more tests.If you share the same GP, even better.Apart from risk factors for stroke, also learn how to spot it happening, and the importance of acting quickly. If they get to hospital within an hour, they can be thrombolysed, and the effects of stroke are reversible. If not, as you know, it can be devastating. I know people say, there's only so much you can do, but I believe it's worth getting educated and being prepared, so good for you.Once you've found out everything you can though, and taken precautions, there comes a point where you have to let go and just live, knowing you've done your best to take care of your father.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (10 April 2013):
 I think you are a good son to be concerned about your Dad's health..... (AND, would point out that YOUR health and longevity may, also, be predicted by your paternal family history!!!)....
That said,... there are a number of things that I would suggest if you were my nearby friend.....
1. You can't live your life in fear of, or concern for, your Dad's health. Some things in life are just going to happen... and we have to face them if and as they occur. You can (and should, if possible!) encourage your Dad to keep a healthy diet, and lifestyle... but, his life is really his to live....
2. As well... unless you want to saddle yourself with disabling concern... and considering the distance between you... it's probably best for you to simply stay in regular touch with your Dad.... and be available to and for him for whatever needs he might indicate to you that you might affect.... Don't try to tell him how to live. After all, he's an adult and - in his late 40s - he is not likely to make wholesale changes....
3. You could, discretely, undertake to learn just what health and medical facilities the ARE near to your Dad... so that if/when he needs to be tended to.... and you are compelled to participate in arranging his care.... you will not be caught "flat-footed" with NO information... and find yourself scrambling to learn....
Remember..... we can love our parents (and other loved ones) but we can't really have much impact on fate.... I'll bet that, if you asked your Dad, he'd say: "I don't want my Son spending all his time worrying about me. I'd much rather that he live his life, whilest I live mine..."
(I know that's what my Dad would have said...)
Keep cool about him.... love him... and let life go on. Live your's (life) to the fullest.....
Good luck....
...............................
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