A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need advice on how to make the best of a bad situation, I've not dealt with something like this before so please don't judge me on what i'm about to say...I've lived in halls this year at university and now we're moving into a house for our second year. The problem is the living room and kitchen are tiny!! We don't have a garden either, we just have a small patch of grass which can barley be even be called grass, it's just weeds. Then on top of that, my bedroom is so small, it's got hardly any floor space and it makes me feel claustrophobic in there. Oh and I should mention it's over half hour walk from anything, town, university, the clubs everything! So that also gets me down more.Now you're probably wondering why the hell i'm living there if I don't like it that much, but it's because we all wanted to live in a house and it was the last one available near us and everyone else in the house loved it so much and I thought it was alright and they all said it's either halls again, or this and that we have to make the best of what we have and I didn't want to live in halls again or make everyone move make just because of me not being a princess over it all.It's just because i'm used to big rooms at home my bedroom, living room and kitchen are triple if not more the size of the rooms in this house and in halls my room is massive too! But of course I am aware that with a student house you have to adjust to downsizing and living arrangements. But I can't get out of my head how it's just this really tiny house and very far from anything that I'm worried I'll find it depressing living there next year. So I wanted any advice on how to look at this positively and make the best of this situation, I don't want to get anyone down and I want to be as happy about it as they are also!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2013): As other posters have said it's mainly the people who make a place nice to live in, not the environment. I am also at uni and have lived with everyone from close, trusted girlfriends in a tiny flat (happiest year of my life) to backbiting people who smoked and did drugs in a gorgeous big house (not so nice). Provided you get on with your housemates, it would be silly to move.If I were you I'd work/do something over the summer so you have enough cash to spare to do up your room really nicely, with ornaments and posters and pics of your friends and such (this is obvs the most important place of the house to you) but at the same time when you move in make sure the kitchen/living room are always clean and tidy etc. Make sure the place is always well heated too, really makes a difference. Regarding transport, buy a bike if it worries you that much and get the night bus with friends/share a taxi on nights out - I'm sure you can make this work! :)
A
female
reader, maverick494  +, writes (11 April 2013):
Well, it's an improvement, isn't it? Try to look at it this way: your kitchen is tiny, but you have one. Your garden is just a bunch of weeds, but you have it. Etc. I mean, you could have been like me at 19 and live in the basement with roaches, in a room so small it can't fit a proper bed. The shower down the hall didn't always provide warm water and there was no kitchen. Those were my living conditions for a year when I studied in London. But I still had it better than the beggars living on the street. Try to look at it that way. When I just moved in there, I felt pretty sorry for myself. Then I saw the many people whose only home were the streets and you realize it could be worse.
Plus half an hour away from things isn't that much, I can assure you. Some people live smack dab in the middle of the city, yet still spend 45 minutes commuting to work because of traffic jams.
When I moved back home from London I spent 4 hours a day commuting because the town I live in is in the middle of nowhere. It's all relative, time. So whenever you're feeling down, just think about how it could be worse. Plus, if you get used to your new living arrangements, you'll appreciate better ones so much more.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2013): Small spaces are in vogue these days. lots of architecture designer magazines features (really expensive and upscale) designer houses, lofts and apartments that are deliberately made to be really tiny, like closets, because nowadays conserving energy and reducing consumption is trendy. So maybe you can try and think of your new living quarters as being hip and trendy..! You can also make your living spaces look less depressing by how you decorate, and by keeping clutter and mess to a minimum. It will feel "cozy" rather than cramped. Small spaces force you to be more efficient and organized.as for being over a half hour walk from anything. well why not get a bicycle? Or a mo-ped. In most university towns commuting by bicycle is the norm. A bicycle will be at least twice as fast as walking. If there are big hills that make cycling too difficult, then get a mo-ped. Do make sure you get a helmet and have lights on your bike for when it's dark.FWIW, when I was in college and even afterward when my husband and I were first married, all the apartments I lived in were not only tiny but also had leaky roofs, roaches, loud obnoxious neighbors, strange odors coming from the next apartment over, and other less than desirable qualities. It comes with the territory of being a student and not earning an income. To me, living in near squalor on my own money was far better than living in my parents' house and being non-independent. Maybe it's because I have over-bearing parents that I couldn't wait to leave home, haha.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): Some people sleep on the streets at night. You're in education, which in some parts of the world is inaccessible and you have a roof over your head. I don't see what your problem is.
Sorry if this sounds harsh but really?! You're worried about the size of a house? Go volunteer at a homeless shelter and see what some people contend with on a daily basis.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain  +, writes (10 April 2013):
Welcome to reality. If you dont have rats and roaches running around the floor youre doing better that a lot of students, not to mention if rain comes through the ceiling. On the positive side there is a lot you can do to make a small room very cosy. Cheaper to decorate and warm. Start to think more poitively and you will have a great time. Dont forget to study.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): it's probably better than the student house I'm in now. I share with 5 others, have a tiny 'box' room that i wasn't supposed to have with a draughty wooden door leading to the back garden, and the living room and kitchen are tiny as well. The garden is big but is unusable as it's all weeds and dirt and the landlord won't do anything about it, and there is no sunlight from at the back of our house, and it's really cold too as we have a bad boiler and no double glazing. We're so happy we're moving next year to a decent house. Surely you can get a bus? or walk? half an hour is nothing~ from our house it's 40 minutes walk to campus, and that goes by quickly. you'll learn to adjust. just look for a different place for your 3rd year.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (10 April 2013):
 You really have no choice but to get use to your present situation. With hard work you will eventually be able to afford a nice big house till then you have to settle with what your wallet can afford.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 April 2013):
 You are in for a wake-up call. You lived in your parents' house. They worked for 20+ years to get to that level where you got nice sized rooms. Now you have to study, then work, then earn your way to affording that kind of life. You are college age. Everyone lives in small dorms or meager living situations because that's what poor college students afford.
You have to change your perspective. When you live at home, you're living off of your parents. When you live on your own, like you are now, you live within your means. Instead of bemoan your situation, be proud of these times, because if you work hard, study, and make your place in the world, you will reap the rewards of your work and accomplishments.
I have earned the rewards of my work, and I continue to do so. But I look fondly of my life in college, eating Rice-a-Roni and Ramen noodles as I crammed for exams, working until midnight to afford the basement room I lived with my roommate in. I think you will too, but remember, big rooms and nice houses are perks of a lifetime of hard work and skills learned in college and on your career.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2013): Most students live in small spaces so you are really not alone! My house is reeeaally small with no garden and I love it, because I share it with 5 other people who I have come to love and who will be my friends for life. I think it is the people that make a place what it is, not the environment.Try and be resourceful with your room to maximise the space so it doesn't feel small. We made the house we live in our own by putting up posters and pictures everywhere, and got pillows and throws and mirrors, etc... The memories we have in it make the size of the house totally irrelevant.And apart from that, I keep a large circle of friends outside my house so that I spend a lot of time out and about. I go to sports clubs in the evenings, the gym, shopping with friends, or for coffee, cocktails, a meal out, I volunteer (which is also good news for my degree!), club socials, when I'm feeling really boring I may go to the library or my lectures haha... You get the idea. If you keep yourself preoccupied it's nice to come back to a cosy house! Being out a lot seeing lots of people means you're never going to feel claustrophobic. Don't be down about it, the majority of the people in the world live in poverty! Uni is a wonderful exciting experience, I will be so sad to leave this summer - including my tiny house with it's fantastic memories that has been my home and my sanctuary the last 3 years! It will only be depressing if you let it be.Have fun, it flies! :) xxx
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (10 April 2013):
 "I was sad because I had no shoes.... and, then, I met a man who had no feet....." Have you ever heard that (before)?
From the "sound" of your submittal, I would guess that you are accustomed to pretty good accomodations (I'm wont to say you've grown up in a "palace")..... and that you are experiencing a bit of angst with your new address.....
Look.... some people live in plywood-and-tarpaper shacks... and are quite satisfied with it.... (if it actually keeps the rain off of them!!).... YOU are struggling with accomodations which aren't quite up to what you think is "the minimum" (in life).
The "answer" is clear.... IF you are sufficiently dissatisfied with this address... then find another address which is more to your liking.....
Good luck.... and STUDY HARD....
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