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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Threesome gone terribly wrong...my husband is in love with her, my life is a mess and I'm pregnant with our 4th child!
Q. I feel like I'm at my wits end. I am so conflicted about what I should do that I am in a constant state of depression where it's almost debilitating. It all started about a year and a half ago. My husband and I have been married for 15 years and we ...
A. 4 January 2011: Sadly, they don't make beds for three(double beds are the common size) A threesome is what got you here, now the two of you gotta get out of it before you raise a bunch of kids that think gang bangs are the normal thing to do. Good luck.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me when I talk!
Q. My boyfriend of one year ignores me. When I talk sometimes he just sits and says nothing. I am not asking for a long conversation, but even a "yeah" or "sure", I mean anything. It is extremely rude and driving me crazy. The other day I talked about ...
A. 4 January 2011: Guys have selective hearing. If you think it's bad now wait til you're married. I'm sure you have very important things to say but sadly, guys don't grow up in an atmosphere that revolves around communication. We're much more interested in ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks there's no such thing as making love!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend thinks sex and love are completely different entities and that theres no such thing as making love. The other day i asked him, what if i had sex with another man is it okay? he said, no coz i wouldnt be having sex. What kind of a...
A. 4 January 2011: Love and sex are not entwined BUT I personally can't understand loving someone and NOT having sex. I can see the other way around working but not very well in the lomg run. Sex is a physical activity(a bodily function, if you will) while love is ... (read in full...)
I don't think my boyfriend wants to have sex anymore!
Q. I have a question that is a little difficult to ask because I don't really know how to. My boyfriend and I have been having sex problems lately. Awhile back he told me he didn't want to have sex every night. He used to say he wanted to and could and ...
A. 4 January 2011: Youshould celebrate! women hate sex anyway so if you can dodge it more power to you... (read in full...)
Will she always be a cheater? How spot and avoid a cheater in future?
Q. I just have a question about an ex. I met this girl through work, we flirted and it was as clear as day she was interested. But things were kind of weird, she was also flirting with two other guys at my work. I ended up leaving for a few weeks and ...
A. 29 December 2010: you might as well start over, sounds like this one is a gal that likes variety.... (read in full...)
Can't stop looking at porn and masturbating. Is this healthy for a 14-year-old girl?
Q. I'm a 14 year old girl. I recently looked up porn and started to masturbate. I know I'm young but since the first time I can't stop. I feel bad or dirty after. I do but i can't stop... Is this healthy?? Does it mean I'm a sex addict?? Even if...
A. 28 December 2010: you're a normal developing female...no problems-guilt is imposed by others forget it- it's not dirty to love your body... (read in full...)
How much is to much orgasmic juices?
Q. When i have sex i tend to get the bed and the man i am with all wet.Is this normal.I mean its like i am urinating but know its not, especially if i am on the top in control.How much is to much orgasmic juices?...
A. 25 December 2010: It's like money and chocolate...no such thing as too much!... (read in full...)
I just found out I'm pregnant and he doesn't want kids
Q. I need some advice. So i'm 17,my boyfriend is 19, we've been together for over 2 years. Yesterday my boyfriend and I were talking and the subject of kids got brought up. Anyways so my boyfriend said that he doesn't want any kids. Today I just fou...
A. 25 December 2010: DO NOT Abort! give birth then put up for adoption if need be but don't kill an innocent life. Not the baby's fault you two screwed up.... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend the monster wants to try again!
Q. I don't know what is right or wrong anymore about love. My exbf was a monster. He ripped my heart out and taunted and did vicious things to me for entire year after he dumped me. I went all the way down hill and hibernated but he still found ways to ...
A. 25 December 2010: First do no harm is what the doctors all swear to(maybe) so save yourself!... (read in full...)
How do you break a relationship that isn't honest to start with?
Q. I've been in an open relationship with someone for almost 3 months but I've been treating it as if it was a real relationship. I know open relationships are shallow and I really hate them but she didn't want a real one. The worse thing is that I ...
A. 25 December 2010: Sentence Two Says it all! It's like when a person starts a sentence with,"I really shouldn't tell you this,but..." And then they go on to tell you things you didn't want to hear. Bail out and as fast as you can! Find "commited relationship in the ... (read in full...)
He tells me that masturbating to porn everyday before work is normal?
Q. My boyfriend has to watch porn and masturbate everyday before work, even if I'm home he'll do it in the bathroom, he says it has nothing to do with sex, Is this normal, I mean It makes me feel like I'm not enough for him! He don't see a problem...
A. 24 December 2010: Well, If he dont mind it then why should you? make him do it before bed too and during supper maybe he's just horny all the time?... (read in full...)
I suffer my uninterested husband, I want more romance in my life
Q. i have been married for almost 30 years. my husband never, never , never initiate romance, sex or anything. he never makes me feel special. he never takes me away or really talks to me . mind you, we do go places and do things, but only if and IF, i ...
A. 24 December 2010: I thought getting married for better or worse meant For better of for worse....If the for worse part like cleaning him up after surgery and having to put up with a man that has lost interest(surgically related?) IF the "for worse is too hard to ... (read in full...)
My guy is looking at quite a lot of gay porn on line. Why?
Q. I found gay porn on my guys computer..it wasn't just one site, there were several over a couple of days and some had galleries,is it normal for straight guys to look at gay porn? There was other porn but quite a lot of gay porn....
A. 24 December 2010: Curiosity has no boundries. Are you not curious about lesbians?... (read in full...)
Why do these guys hit on me?
Q. First off.. I'm not a whore..but I feel like many people "including friends" think I am!! All the guys with girlfriends ask me to get with them but I always say no! And I know I don't lead these guys on I mean I'm nice to them but they are all my ...
A. 22 December 2010: Since I are one, I can say with certainty that guys don't know better than to flirt. it's kinda like fishing.... (read in full...)
He tells me that masturbating to porn everyday before work is normal?
Q. My boyfriend has to watch porn and masturbate everyday before work, even if I'm home he'll do it in the bathroom, he says it has nothing to do with sex, Is this normal, I mean It makes me feel like I'm not enough for him! He don't see a problem...
A. 21 December 2010: When he wakes up be ready to get on top then he'll quit the vapor sex in exchange for the real thing... (read in full...)
One of my breasts is bigger than the other, will this affect my relationships?
Q. dear cupids, This question has been botherin me for a long time now. I have unequal breasts. One is half the size of the other. Will it affect my relationship in any way?? Do men give too much attention only to your outer appearence? Bcoz of this ...
A. 21 December 2010: No man I know would ever know that detail or even notice it. do not think body types make a piddleing bit of difference if there's magic then the magic is blind!... (read in full...)
Is he referring to oral sex?
Q. Hi, This is a question for the guys. If a guy says to a woman he wants to touch and lick you until you scream.Is he referring to oral sex? ...
A. 21 December 2010: absolutly...it ain't a carwash. Bathe then let him live out his fantasy while you sleep through it .... (read in full...)
Confused soul who thought she knew it all...
Q. Hard to determine what my relationship status is with this man however it seems to work for both of us. He's an aquarius and I'm an aries (both independent souls) Started off as friends who met online from a social network and about a month later ...
A. 21 December 2010: Astrology isn't the guide to love...Oh well, too late now. While I persobally don't think abortion is an option you may look for an adoption agency. A single mother of three dosen't sound like an option.... (read in full...)
Where did my beautiful loving wife go?
Q. My wife and I have 3 boys and have been married for 8 years. This year just after our anniversary my wife began an affair. She had become increasingly distant, and I finally asked her what was going on after 6 weeks without intimacy. She flatly told ...
A. 19 December 2010: Run buddy, it only gets worse,I've been there for over ten years...save yourself now.... (read in full...)
Am I addicted to sex or not?
Q. I wonder if I'm a sex addict because me and my gf have dated for about 10 months and recently have decided on somewhat of an open relationship. She doesn't do Anything but I do, I mostly have sex with friends and co-workers daily and idk y in ...
A. 19 December 2010: Sounds like you have a problem...i'd go find a shrink and get it fixed.... (read in full...)
My wife now wants a threesome. Who exactly will be the third person? Not me
Q. My wife has stated she would be open to a threesome encounter with a male or female. I'm not interested in being the third person in this. What can I do?...
A. 18 December 2010: Announce that you want four people,or maybe even five so as to ensure equality.... (read in full...)
I hate being normal!
Q. I hate being normal. I've noticed that no matter how many times people say that looks don't matter, hey, THEY DO! I've noticed how my male friends treat girls differently based on looks more than personality. I'm not the most attractive girl, I'm ...
A. 17 December 2010: Having a pity party gets nothing done. Looks are highly over-rated-look at all those "pretty people in Hollywood that have a marraige that lasts 4 or 5 weeks. It's the personality that works to hold relationships...a good sense of humor is ... (read in full...)
He was talking about another girl's vagina!
Q. Ok my boyfriend (both 26 years old) and I have been together a few years. We have a daughter together and I recently found out we are expecting again. Last night he had a friend over and they got drunk and I went to go to sleep. I could hear the...
A. 17 December 2010: Ithink once you stated he was drunk,,,you can forget the rest of the story...drunk talk is babble don't put ANY value to it!... (read in full...)
I enjoy watching my boyfriend masturbate!
Q. I really enjoy watching my bf masturbate himself off. Is this weird?? ...
A. 17 December 2010: You are every man's fantasy!... (read in full...)
Why can't I be with the girl that I love?
Q. Why can't I be with the girl that I love? People always say no pain no gain but how much pain I have to go through. I seriously had enough pain and I am too tired to continue. I have loved two girls so far at different time. I spent 15 month...
A. 17 December 2010: I'm way older than you but I still remember that god-awful pain of hearing her say on the phone,"My father says I have to stop seeing you,sorry' Might as well have taken a knife and cut open my chest to rip out all organs. Took months to stop the ... (read in full...)
I want to try anal but she's really against it. Can I convince her?
Q. So I have been having sex with this girl for a while. We jumped into bed together really from the start of things, but that was really the only quick thing about it. She for almost a yr never entertained the idea of her on top or doggie, she just ...
A. 16 December 2010: i'd recommend you try to alter your desires since it's not your anus being 'assaulted' Some like it some don't get over it. It's not that big a deal anyway. just tighter. How your partner feels is way more important than how you feel.... (read in full...)
Thoughts on having sex on the first date?
Q. is it ok to have sex on the first date/night you meet someone?? recently i haven't had a lot of sex, its been almost 6 months, and although i thoroughly enjoy it, i feel the need to get out there and have a few one night stands.. ive been chatt...
A. 14 December 2010: Times have changed since I was dating but back then,50's&60's)no one really expected sex on the first second or even third date. You actually had to feel like you were in love and all that. I know the youth of today like tolive in a "fasr-forward" ... (read in full...)
How can I change my taste in men so I stop getting hurt?
Q. i have been in one bad relationship after another, i can't seem to break the cycle! i don't know if there is something wrong with me that i'm attracted to these same type of men but they are all alike. how can i turn my tastes to a different sort so ...
A. 14 December 2010: Have you tried a church setting? Many of us guys in Christian churches believe in treating women with respect and dignity. Also southern men were more likely brought up to have respect for women(It was beat into us by our dads-we never had a ... (read in full...)
Help! I don't know how to tell him that the pain is kicking the pleasure's butt during sex.
Q. Lost my virginity five months ago to this difficult man and five months later, it's a little like love. Anyway, it used to be that I'd get extremely wet when he just touched me or looked at me. I still get turned on but my body's reaction isn't ...
A. 13 December 2010: It's not a question of should I let him hurt me some more or not it's a question of why do you put up with pain? ... (read in full...)
Is it weird not to masturbate to porn?
Q. I don't masterbrate to porn as I a have no need to, it makes me have an erection yet I'm not "turn on" and I'm a virgin, I have a girlfriend, we don't do anything sexaul, yet I masterbrate over her. Is it werid NOT to masterbrate to porn?...
A. 13 December 2010: nope not strange at all, in fact it just means you have a realistic view and find that porn is just vapor.... (read in full...)
Should I trust my otherwise wonderful wife who is my best friend and soulmate or listen to the frightening inconsistencies about her moral character?
Q. I am married for about a year and a half to a wonderful woman who I fell head over heels for marrying after only 10 months. There are some concerns that have surfaced that I really need advice about TRUST issues. Shortly after we got together...
A. 13 December 2010: Do a role reversal and ask the same question from her point of view...the answer will be there.... (read in full...)
I don't understand why men need to look at porn when they have the real thing right in front of them.
Q. My boyfriend looks at porn all the time when he is not with me. I know because he has google chrome and it shows the most visited web pages when you go to open a new tab. It's sickening. I don't understand why men need to look at porn when they ...
A. 13 December 2010: The male libido is larger than life and it can't be satisfied by simple pleaures .(no wait, you knew that, or you wouldn't be looking for reinforcement0.... (read in full...)
I want to tell him what makes me hot, but how?
Q. How do I explain to the guy I'm dating my favorite way of getting my nipples hard? I have large breasts (34ddd) so guys usually love them, and this guy is no exception (although I am quite small other than my breasts and feel a little imbalanced ...
A. 9 December 2010: just tell him! he'll be MORE than happy to 'help"... (read in full...)
What do you think? Something just doesn't sound right about this to me!
Q. I have a friend who recently got back from studying 6 months abroad. There he met a girl who now says she's in a relationship with him, and as I have them both on facebook I see all the cutesy things they write each other. My friend seems really in ...
A. 7 December 2010: "facebook" is an evil thing!... (read in full...)
If 6 years of not talking hasn't worked, what will stop these feelings?
Q. This is going to be a long one. I met this guy online years ago and we clicked, We were great friends, but then we started falling for each other. Because he lives in another country I pushed him away and we stopped talking. We haven't been in ...
A. 6 December 2010: Guys like him are hard to find! You could count your blessings or move on to a more chatterbox kind of dude.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend would rather masturbate then have sex with me!
Q. Please i need some answers mainly from men... Iv been with my boyfriend for 10months now and from the start we had sex quite a lot, not as much as id like to because he worked a lot running his own business. anyway we moved into a new house a few ...
A. 6 December 2010: Perhaps you might watch with him and help with his self satisfaction, things might evolve into a twosome.... (read in full...)
I want to watch my wife have sex with another man!
Q. I am another husband that would love to watch my wife having sex with another man. We have talked about this for the past year and I want to take it to the next step. She loves to talk about doing this while we are having sex and says she wants to ...
A. 6 December 2010: I guess call her bluff. This sounds like the start of something negative though so, I'd not recommend this go any further than fantasy talk. It probably won't end well.no matter how "secure" a couple is in their marraige allowing a third person ... (read in full...)
Husband treats me badly and I don't know why
Q. I have been married for under a year but I have known my husband for 8 years before that. We have always gotten along and everything started out great. I have a daughter which makes him a step father, she's almost a year old. Recently he has been...
A. 4 December 2010: A controlling man9a misogonist type) is not a man in my book he's a simple minded egotist that should be put in his place.I'd look into an escape plan.A man that is a loving husband trats his wife like a goddess. Stop trying to figure out what you ... (read in full...)
My Husband picks minor issues to argue about,. Why is he doing this?
Q. My husband keeps picking arguments about extremely minor things, he ususally does this when he's been drinking too much. I remain calm and I try to pacify him by either apologizing for the minor incident, I also have asked him if maybe there is ...
A. 4 December 2010: drinking and arguments go hand in hand! If he's not drinking and still picks at you maybe he's unhappy about bigger issues9like sex) Or could he just be teasing and you take it wrong?... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a husband to watch porn?
Q. Just a simple question before i freak out pleaasseee... Is it normal that the husband watch porn??? And trying to hide it from me! What is it all about? Should i react? Should i get mad? Should i confront him? What is it? Should i get jealous?? What ...
A. 4 December 2010: I know women read a lot into men watching porn but it is after all just vapor and we men use it to excite our libido. It is normal for humans to arouse themselves.... (read in full...)
He won't give oral, I'm feeling hurt and losing my sex drive!
Q. Hello, I have been with my bf for over a year now. At the beginning because I wasn't ready for sex he gave me oral i guess to lure me in. Then afterwards it went from once a month to now once in 6 months. Everytime I bring it up he gets defe...
A. 4 December 2010: No to oral then no to his fantasies. women have the upper hand and can control the bedroom. Just cut him off until he "performs"... (read in full...)
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