Like what
he writes?
... Add *lderthandirt to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
|
Why is my husband looking at porn instead of me?
Q. I recently caught my husband of 4 years looking at pornography on the internet. He admitted to having done this for the entire length of our relationship...over 8 years in all...and even from the time he was a teenager...he is several years older ...
A. 9 June 2011: Maybe you do look better but looks are not what the excitement of porn is about! It's all about the activities...You could put a gunny sack over their faces we'd still look. pretty or skanky it doesn't matter. Watch what they do not how they look.... (read in full...)
I am really sexually confused.and need advice.
Q. I will be 18 this year and I am still a virgin and the reason why is because I'm so confused and scared. So I spend time watching porn gay and straight and I am so sexually confused. I find a gay interesting first and ive been looking since about ...
A. 30 May 2011: As an older(much older) married man(note the missing word"happily") that can attest to the fact some guys will never be real positive and secure in their absolute direction. Watching gay porn is exciting, so is watching lesbian porn. Not to worry, ... (read in full...)
Was he offended by my height?
Q. I am an outgoing 27 year old female. I am 5 foot 4 1/2 and slender. I recently had a date with a guy and went to the river. I wore flip flops because of the rocks, he (6 foot 3) thought that I was taller (I wear heels a lot) Was he offended by my ...
A. 23 May 2011: Well, we'll never know but if he was he's an idiot and you need to find someone who can appreciate that the best things always come in small packages. Not that 5'4' is small in fact it's way tall compare to his intelect. You are the tall one of ... (read in full...)
Is this a dysfunctional relationship?
Q. Is this a disfunctional relationship? I have recently come to a cross roads in my life and have to make a choice once and for all. I have had a troubled relationship for 7 yrs and have children from this. My partner i think has been abusive ...
A. 23 May 2011: No, I would not even call this a relationship!sounds like a "let's demean the girl-a-ship" Why don't you just leave?... (read in full...)
What is a good way to celebrate our first anniversary?
Q. Hi all :) Next week my boyfriend and i will have been together a year and i'm looking for a great/interesting way to celebrate it. We are both 18 and still live with our parents and he has work 5 - 7.30 on that day Any ideas would be appri...
A. 22 May 2011: Try a simple picnic in the park a dinner i suspect, be creative as to the menu, like fried chicken and his favorite side dish. Just being alone is all any couple need to celebrate.... (read in full...)
Whats the use of being married to this man?
Q. i ask myself every day whats the use,i'm married to a man that keeps telling me things will get better,but they never do,sex is almost never and when we do have sex it always leaves me drepressed because all the man does is get it hard stick it in ...
A. 22 May 2011: I agree with the lady that thinks he's suffering from depresssion. He's in trouble and it's kind of up to you to find a way to fix it. It is not normal for him to withdraw like this. He is in a world of hurt and does not know how to help the ... (read in full...)
5 months of dating and he won't introduce me to his family!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months but he doesnt want to introduce to me his family.i have already introduce him to some of my family members.and i found out that he has a child from previous relationship bt he denies that.and the mother ...
A. 22 May 2011: See how fast you can run and run faster than that!... (read in full...)
Is it possible to just stop the sex with this married guy but keep the friendship?
Q. Hi guys, I need some advice here...I met this married guy at work about a year ago. We both liked each other and became friends. We finally crossed the line about 3 months ago and we both knew it would happen. He has a baby with his wife but he ...
A. 22 May 2011: Sure,wives do it all the time... (read in full...)
5 months of dating and he won't introduce me to his family!
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months but he doesnt want to introduce to me his family.i have already introduce him to some of my family members.and i found out that he has a child from previous relationship bt he denies that.and the mother ...
A. 22 May 2011: It may be he has a lot of other secrets and doesn't want you to find out through the family. You might want to re-evaluate your relationship alltogether.... (read in full...)
There is no valid reason why my husband refuses intimacy. What can I do about my controlling husband?
Q. can anyone help me find out why my husband 46 won't get intimate or even have sex with me? This has gone on now for over 7 years now. Before it all stoped, when we did have sex, he humiliated me in telling me how to do what and when. He is a very...
A. 21 May 2011: I hope this helps, Over the years(we've been married 46 yrs), I've gone through those phases also. I can attribute my "phases" to guilt, since I did have sex with another women...not saying that's your issue though. just try to express a poss... (read in full...)
Are there any ways to increase girth?
Q. I am writing because my boyfriend is starting to develop insecurities about his penis size. I have had bigger in both length and girth, but it isn't his length that bothers him. I was wondering if there was any possible way to increase the girth of ...
A. 20 May 2011: As an old man I can tell you he will always be "wishing it was bigger" I don't think there is a pill or excerscise though that will help. If his is big enough for you then that's all he needs to know but he'll always be insecure...we can't help it ... (read in full...)
I am really sexually confused.and need advice.
Q. I will be 18 this year and I am still a virgin and the reason why is because I'm so confused and scared. So I spend time watching porn gay and straight and I am so sexually confused. I find a gay interesting first and ive been looking since about ...
A. 20 May 2011: My advice is to date a girl,see how it goes and if it turns you off then date a guy. But society will be more receptive to a guy/gal relationship than the other.... (read in full...)
He's never going to let go of his girlfriend so I need to move on
Q. Basically i've been in love with this guy for over a year now and he has a girlfriend. He flirts with me all the time and we text most nights but i know it isnt fair on me as he is never gonna end it with his girlfriend for me so i need to get over ...
A. 20 May 2011: I think a way to move past this is to realize the words on a computter screen are not love and you are infatuated with his words not him.... (read in full...)
Cuddled with guy friend.. Does it mean anything?
Q. I have a guy friend *Joe*, whom I met through an ex-boyfriend (they were best friends) 4 years ago. I've always felt an attraction to him, and I fooled around with him once (he asked if we could do stuff, and my ex said that was fine.. we were all ...
A. 19 May 2011: I think you may have acted wrongly and are feeling remorse.Perfectly normal response to your behavior. I'd break it off and try to forget the whole thing but I'm looking at it from him point of view.... (read in full...)
What type of girl appeals more to men?
Q. This a question I have wondered for a while, and men would probably find answering this one easier, but what type of girl do guys usually go for? I know it's personality that counts and I would never change how I looked to please someone else, bu...
A. 18 May 2011: That's like wondering which piece of chocolate is best from a box of chocolate. They are all great. Shape is like the third or fourth thing most of us look at. Eyes, smile,hair, laugh. Those to me rate highest, then body. Some of the more ... (read in full...)
Don't women like to receive oral sex?
Q. Me and my partner are in love for a long long time. The thing is that my partner gives me wonderful blow jobs but when I go down on her vagina to lick it she gets reluctant. She doesnt want me to lick her down. I wanna know the fact - dont girls ...
A. 18 May 2011: Relax and smell the roses. some gals just don't go for the reverse oral too much. don't read a bunch of stuff into it or 'over-think ' it she's just shy.... (read in full...)
How did you meet your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Q. This if for teenagers mainly! But anyone who isn't a teenager else be sure to answer too :) ....How did you meet your boyfriend/girlfriend?...
A. 17 May 2011: I answered the phone, she and her roommates at college were looking to meet boys and the boys dorm phones started with a 6 so it was a random thing the universe collided with my ear...the rest is history.... (read in full...)
Colleagues are saying I have a cheeky smile, what does this mean?
Q. It is so confusing when people throw comments about you. I have just started work in a new place and so far three women have told me I have a CHEEKY smile. I just don't know how to take it, whether it is a good thing (complement) or not! Can someone ...
A. 16 May 2011: I think cheeky is a term the brits use a lot to describe playful or something like that. I think it's a compliment. ask a Brit..they'll know.... (read in full...)
Wife will not have sex with me if she's sober
Q. My wife will not have sex with me unless she has several drinks in her. We have been married for over 20 years and this has been the case since the begining. When I was younger, I knew that this was kind of disfunctional and I tried to talk to her ...
A. 16 May 2011: Well, and look my tounge is nearly protruding from my cheek so take this with a bunch of grains of salt but I'd learn how to brew my own gin or whiskey and hang on to this one...as Omar Kyam said. "Then to the lip of this earrthen ern I learned the ... (read in full...)
Does this mean anything or am I looking too deep into this?
Q. My friend told me how an attractive girl (lets call her Daisy) said I was funny but don't talk much at a volleyball event(his sister is on the team and he was there and overheard "Daisy" say this). The following week she came into one of my classes ...
A. 16 May 2011: I think it's mindless childish banter that has no meaning ignor it all.... (read in full...)
Is it normal that sex hurts?
Q. When im going to have sex I only want my bfs penis to go half way in it feels good for me but when he tries to go all the way in omg it hurts is that normal??? i havent gone to a doctor to ask im shy can anyone help? please thank you :)...
A. 16 May 2011: You've heard the old adage,
" If it feels good, do it!" well the opposite is true if it doesn't feel good then don't do it. Pain and sex should be mutually exclusive terms. There should be nothing but pleasure in sex.... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't help me financially!
Q. hi my husband doesnt help me financially, im unemployed and its my last year at varsity. we have only 1 child and he pays only for school transport and i pays a school fees, i only survives with a money i get from doing people's hair. when he gets ...
A. 16 May 2011: he sounds like a real winner(tounge in cheek) I suppose you don't have alimony in your neck of the woods? If it was me you'd be getting a stipen for raising "my" child but he sounds like the type that doesn't look at things the way I do. pull the ... (read in full...)
Why does my husband watch porn videos?
Q. I been married for 8 years and I just found out that my husband likes to watch porn videos. And I don't know what to do about it? When we are in bed together he aways claims he is too tired (for sex) and I don't know what to do. I asked him if he is ...
A. 14 May 2011: This is the ever-lasting question of 'why do people watch porn?" Duh, because we have an insatiable curiosity to see if the grass is geener on the other side...I think it's just the simple answer of men like sex more than women do.. blame it on ... (read in full...)
I don't want my boyfriend to know that I'm not a virgin!
Q. im not virgin n i dont want that my boyfriend know that im not virgin on our wedding night plz help...
A. 14 May 2011: Why? non-virgins make great wives.I know from experience.Tell him and if he loves you it will be OK, You're worried over something you think MIGHT be a problem.... (read in full...)
I give him oral 24/7, but NEVER has gotten it in return, am I being selfish?
Q. Hello, I am a 18 year old female and i am mixed. I am native american and black. I been with my boyfriend for a year in a half and i have done everything to please him. I even pay for every single damn thing. I wait for him all the damn time ...
A. 14 May 2011: Any man that won't go down on his lover is wierd enough to run from. He sounds sexually imature at best which could lead to long lonely nights for you at worse. I'd take a hike and go find a real lover.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lied about being sexually active
Q. My boyfriend has lied to me about being with other women, or so he said to me. We've been together for over seven months, and he just told me now. He also recently found out that I would prefer to be with a virgin. I'm having trouble deciding if I ...
A. 14 May 2011: You might have thought to mention it to him before you all started a relationship that all men need to be virgins in your mind. He might not have lied then. In fact it wasn't "officially" a lie if he didn't know the ground rules.Think about it.... (read in full...)
Why is my husband looking at porn instead of me?
Q. I recently caught my husband of 4 years looking at pornography on the internet. He admitted to having done this for the entire length of our relationship...over 8 years in all...and even from the time he was a teenager...he is several years older ...
A. 13 May 2011: The male appetrite is never satisfied. Oddly enough, you could be the best looking woman on the planet earth and he(or any other man for that matter) would still want to "take a peek at the other things going on in the world. Sorry, just being ... (read in full...)
I can't tell if my boss likes me.
Q. I can't tell if my boss likes me or not. Sometimes he'll stare into my eyes and hold long contact (I usually break). He stands very close to me, but I notice he stands close to others at work but maybe a little closer to me. He's very helpful (I ...
A. 13 May 2011: Sounds to me that he's "putting a move on you" however, you might want to think long and hard about an in office fling. Historically those things don't work out very well. Not saying this won't be the romance to end all romances...just raising a ... (read in full...)
Should I let her go? My wife says she loves me but is not in love with me.
Q. My wife told me she loves me, But not in love with me. how should i react to a statment like this. She's been comming to me with these crazy idea's. Like wanting to move to FL. from MI and discussing what would happen to the kids if we were to di...
A. 13 May 2011: her statement makes no sense for that reason alone you should part ways.. she sounds like a nervous breakdown...run... (read in full...)
What does the female g-spot feel like? And where is it?
Q. hello. Just wondering if you lovely people could tell me what the female g spot feels like. And how far in it is. Many thanks ...
A. 13 May 2011: about 1 to 2 inches in along the top...it feel kinda rough like ribbed.... (read in full...)
My bf is now bi curious and a x-dresser....help!
Q. Ok so... my bf and I have been dating for over 3 years now. He has admited to being a crossdresser. I have seen it, was fun at first now hes really into it. AND now is bi-curious. We had talked about him trying a tgirl and i was alright with it....
A. 12 May 2011: The ONLY measure is your comfort level. If it's compfortable to act a certain way in bed then it's OK. If you have the slightest twing of feeling ikky then it's not OK and you need a new direction in life.Walking on the wild side can be fun or it ... (read in full...)
Deep down, I'm overwhelmed by anger. I need help.
Q. What would cause someone to have constant feelings of anger? I'm angry all the time, and not sure as to whether I should talk to anyone about it. I worry that my friends would think I'm a horrible person and that my parents would worry about me, ...
A. 6 May 2011: Yes trust you gut, you should seek some counseling before the anger builds to an uncontrollable point. You're fortunate that you are lucid enough to realize there's a problem. Many times people ignore their problem until it's too late. Bless you ... (read in full...)
I go to private school, he goes to a public school....but I like him! What should I do?
Q. can you guys help me? this summer i took a taekwondo class and i met a few people and then there's this guy he keeps looking at me and smilling. and he asked me if he could court me, i honestly like him but there's one problem. he's from public s...
A. 6 May 2011: If and I repeat IF I detect a tone of "snobbery" like, is he good enough for me and my family"[not saying that's the case] then if there is the smallest bit of class judgment then you should avoid him at all cost 'cause you'll never see eye to eye ... (read in full...)
Would it seem stalkerish if I got a job at the place where he works?
Q. dear cupid, so, there's this guy that i met through mutual friends, and those mutual friends seem to think that the two of us would be absolutely perfect together. he works at a restaurant near the college that we both go to, and i just recently ...
A. 5 May 2011: OK, here's what I would do if I had that concern. I'd try to put myself in his place and wonder what would I think.... (read in full...)
Guys: Do men forget to text back for days, should a girl make this next move?
Q. This question is for the guys because only they can answer guys actions with good insight.. (I hope) Anyways, i met this guy out i spoke to him for about 5 minutes and he asked for my number because i was leaving and he said he wanted to speak ...
A. 3 May 2011: i didn't know men "texted". Most of us men are waiting for the technology to advance to where you can just talk on those phone things.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend will no longer give oral sex, says she hates it. Why did she do it to every guy in the past then?
Q. My girlfriend and me are together for a year now.. and have a decent intimate life.. we stay in different cities so meet just maybe once or twice a month.. Since the past 5months she hasnt given me any oral sex.. and i didnt pressurize her.....
A. 3 May 2011: my first reaction is; " oh, boo hoo" you cannot expect to get what you want just because YOU want it. Trust me as one who's been exactly in your shoes. You are going to have to either learn to live with the situation as it is or decide to leave. ... (read in full...)
Did he just not like me?
Q. Basically went on a date for the first time in ages :) but I'm kinda confused, because although we had good banter and he kindly paid for my cinema ticket and also wanted to pay for my dinner (I didn't want him to though because we're both students ...
A. 3 May 2011: I'd tend to think he's just inexperienced or coming off a bad break-up and as confused as a deer in the headlights of an oncoming truck. Guys are not all macho self -confident etc.... (read in full...)
Why did the doctor ask me if I'm in a relationship? I can't see the relevance
Q. i'v just been to see my doctor i'v got a sore throat. So what relevance was there to his question to me, asking if i'm in a relationship? why did he ask me if i'm in a relationship? How was that appropriate?...
A. 3 May 2011: He's probably trying to rule out an STD problem. Why don't you just ask him?... (read in full...)
Is he cheating or maybe thinking of cheating?
Q. Hi Guys, Just wondering what the signs of cheating or possibly cheating with someone might be. My boyfriend and I live together and are very happy, however I recieved a text one night when he was drunk at a BBQ to pick him up so I set off for ...
A. 3 May 2011: well, young lady he probably isn't cheating yet. but in all honesty men tend to think about cheating a lot more than women do, That should come as no surprise since men are much more interested in sex than women(generally speaking). I'd do two ... (read in full...)
Why do guys talk to ordinary looking girls while gorgeous unattached girls exist?
Q. I know this is an insecurity problem, but I don't know how to overcome it? I know i'm not ugly, but when I meet a guy who shows he is interested in me, it's then i think 'why would he want to talk to me?' The next day, I'll be out and see these...
A. 3 May 2011: We men are very intimidated by the very pretty female,it's our insecurity that convinces us we are totally not deserving of the "cover girl" types and knowing that we know we'll only be hurt by them if we invest any amount of feelings towards them ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a bit too close to his sister, what should I do?
Q. my boyfriend and his sister are very close same as me and my siblings, but sometimes when i am around i do not feel comfortable at all, they will playing together tickling each other and that makes me feel out of place. i just sit there and watch ...
A. 28 April 2011: Some families promote a lot of 'touchy-feely" closeness. I gotta admit this makes me feel uneasy BUT that's the way some folks are so maybe you best ignore it.... (read in full...)
How can I fight my gag reflex and give better blowjobs?
Q. hi guys, im 22 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 9 months. its going very well, and we have had sex. but now my boyfriend really wants me to start giving him blowjobs and swallowing his sperm. i have only give a few blowjobs. i've bee...
A. 26 April 2011: If he's a "good guy" he'll understand that a good old fashioned hand job beats a BJ any day of the week. Try that instead. You will both be happier.... (read in full...)
Discovered a girl I liked is a sociopath. What do I do now?
Q. I know today people throw around these terms too much like narcissist, sociopath, borderline, et cetera, but....I have come to believe strongly that a girl I have liked for a very long time is likely a sociopath. I have known her a while. She's v...
A. 26 April 2011: your self-defense mechanisms will help guide you out of this mess. trust your gut so to speak. OR you can see if she'll go to a "shrink" not that that's an answer but it might help define the issues more clearly.... (read in full...)
| *lderthandirt's friends
These are mutual friends, so *lderthandirt has
added them and they have added *lderthandirt!
|
