A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Ok my boyfriend (both 26 years old) and I have been together a few years. We have a daughter together and I recently found out we are expecting again. Last night he had a friend over and they got drunk and I went to go to sleep. I could hear their conversation and my boyfriend was talking about a girl from high school and how much he liked her, and started talking about wanting to see her vagina and wanting to lick it (his words exactly) Now I know he was drunk and him and his friend were just talking, and I am not sure if he realized I hadn't fallen asleep yet and could hear everything (our room is next to the living room where he was) This kind of has me upset, I know it doesn't necessarily mean anything, and I am sure thoughts like this go through guys minds all the time, but actually hearing him talk like this has me insecure. I leave for a month in January to visit family and now I feel very insecure about leaving. Are my hormones getting the best of me here? I also said to him this morning "may want to make sure your girlfriend is sleeping before you start talking about other girls vaginas" he laughed like it was nothing. Ugh..Is this something I should be upset about? Am I overreacting?
View related questions:
drunk, insecure, vagina Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): He is usually very affectionate with me, and he was saying some joking sexual things while I was up still, but not to that extent though. Yes, his friend was saying the same things about the same girl (neither of them ever hooked up with her, just wanted too) so they were playing off each other..They were laughing as they were saying this.
When I brought it up yesterday, I did it in a jokingly way "maybe make sure I am actually asleep before talking about other girls vaginas" and they laughed, saying "oh ya, we were talking about so and so" I asked "was that a girl you had some crush on?" and he said "ya, back in high school"
So it's not like he is hiding anything from me, just kind of hurtful. I would NEVER say anything to make him feel like that, I don't say anything about my sexual past to anyone let alone with him in earshot..So I guess I just feel why would he say it, but he was drunk, very drunk..and a guy with another friend who was talking just as much about her.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): Would he like it if he overheard you talking about some huge penis you fellated in the past? I would think not. If he did then you need to question what values you two may or may not have in common. You would probably be respectful enough to not do that anyway.But as an aside. This is the nature of many relationships these days in which we have to accept a person's past sexual experiences. Those who marry as virgins don't have these pains and complications.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): It sounds like he was just boasting to his friend more than anything else and doesn't necessarily reveal his desire to cheat.
Still it would hurt to hear such a conversation and is disrespectful.
If I were you, I'd let him know that in no uncertain terms.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Drunken conversation will sometimes devolve to past conquests and missed opportunities. That doesn't mean he wants to go back there though. It was disrespectful of him to say those things, but that is also guy talk. It gets pretty nasty sometimes even if we don't really feel what we're saying. Often our conversations become a bit of one upping each other. Did you notice his friend saying anything along similar lines?
How does your BF act with you? Does he treat you with respect most of the time? Does he help out taking care of the house and your baby?
If he's doing that stuff, that's how he shows he loves you and is devoted to you. Guys stay stupid shit, often without thinking, that's why you need to focus on our actions to show our true character.
If he's an overall good guy, this is forgivable. If he's not that good a guy, this is a sign of worse things to come.
...............................
A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 It's not petty. It's a bit disrespectful on his part to be honest, especially considering you told him you heard what he said and he didn't even explain or apologise!
I'm not suggesting you make a big deal out of this because it doesn't mean he would cheat and he probably got carried away in a drunken conversation with his friend. Might be worth casually mentioning though that it upset you. He might be a bit embarassed by knowing you heard what he said!
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Ithink once you stated he was drunk,,,you can forget the rest of the story...drunk talk is babble don't put ANY value to it!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): I would just like to add, I haven't shown being upset with him yet, or told him it upset me..I just feel upset, but trying to hide it right now.. I just don't want to seem petty
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): Men are driven by testosterone.
Women are driven by estrogen.
Never the twain shall meet.
We are like dogs and cat's. Apples and oranges.
We all get along but we ain't peas in a pod.
You should be worried if doesn't feel comfortable enough around you to pal with his friend's.
...............................
|
