A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend looks at porn all the time when he is not with me. I know because he has google chrome and it shows the most visited web pages when you go to open a new tab. It's sickening. I don't understand why men need to look at porn when they have the real thing right in front of them. I have told him how I feel about it and he said he would stop. Six months later I found out he's still been doing it and has not stopped. He say's it's nothing. it bothers me and it makes me sad. I don't feel the need to look at any other naked men. So why doesn't he understand ? Please give me some advice.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 The male libido is larger than life and it can't be satisfied by simple pleaures .(no wait, you knew that, or you wouldn't be looking for reinforcement0.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Buy a huge dildo and leave it on the coffee table along with magazines stacked way up high... of hot guys... Have your 'favorites' marked off on the pages of the magazines... the ones you like to frequent... and let's see how he takes it. Let him see the objectification of sexuality... let him see that he is not 'essential' to you, that his penis is just about the same as every other guys and let's see how he feels about that...
Chances are that he'd get ED pronto and not be able to get it up. Men are so used to turning the tables on women and playing this immature game... that they need it to masturbate to. Come on fellas. How much entertainment does your penis actually require? How many forms of stimulation does one man need? It is sexual immaturity at its finest.
The fact is that romance novels, romantic movies, etc... are not the equivalent of porn. Porn is porn. Romantic movies depicting a man being kind, generous, tender, sweet and loving is the OPPOSITE of porn. Porn lacks feeling. It is absurd to compare the two.... unless you are willing to go along with the idea that men are animals and woman are saints....
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Are you willing to satiate his sexual urge several times each day, every time he desires it?No? Chances are he already knows this. So he uses pornography to enhance the self-pleasuring experience. It's a tool. It is considered pathetic for men to own mechanical sex aides, whereas a woman is allowed to without reservation.Porn is simply our version of those weird vibrators women have that look only vaguely sexual in nature.You'd rather he crank out a fleshlight five times a day? Because men have extraordinary sex drives, that can be set off by some of the most meaningless bullshit.It's only a problem if he is ignoring your sexual desires and moods in favour of pornographic images, videos and texts.Flynn 24
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): I don't think you should worry about it. I'm a woman, and I like to look at porn without my boyfriend. It doesn't mean I don't want him, in fact I find him incredibly sexy but still, when he's not there and I want to have some "fun alone time" I don't see a problem. I'm sure your bf doesn't want you to be like those women in watching some porn. A bit of titillation never hurt anyone. I mean, he's not cheating, he's just enjoying himself without you. I think you should relax about it. As long as he's not obsessive about porn, then you don't have to worry. I know that if I were to masturbate then I'm not necessarily going to be thinking about my bf - men are more visual creatures than us, and pictures do the same for them as the female imagination can do for us.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Do you ever watch romantic movies and swoon about the male lead as he makes huge romantic gestures for the woman he loves? Are you going to leave your boyfriend for that actor? Do you even WANT to replace your boyfriend with this fantasy character? Or are you just enjoying the entertainment for a minute, then go on with your life. Porn is the same for men. It's not real. It's not even about the women. It's just illustrations of sex for men, who are visual creatures. It's just some personal time, some masturbation, some relaxation for a minute and means nothing.
When masturbating, there's no stress or performance anxiety. No worry about pleasing your woman, or worry about climaxing too soon or too slowly, no foreplay, no effort or time needed. It's just a strictly personal relaxation that means NOTHING about how he feels about you. You could be Megan Fox, but he'll still masturbate. You could indulge his every kinky dream, and he'll still masturbate. You could have sex with him four times a day, every day, and he'll still masturbate. It's not ABOUT you, it's just a personal way to blow off steam and the porn is just a tool like the tissue.
If he's still an attentive lover with you, and if he's never asking you to be more like the porn stars, and if your relationship is still strong in other areas, then just let him have this. These "women" mean no more to him that Hugh Grant means to you, probably even less.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Is he a considerate lover? Does he make sure it's good for you? And does that mean that he's making sure the setting is right, you've had a nice dinner, the dishes are done, that you're relaxed, maybe giving a bit of massage? And then lots of foreplay, maybe some good oral, before he goes for the gold?
If he's a good guy, he wants to make sure the experience is worth your while. And in all honesty, that's a bunch of work. Ya, ya, it's worth it, it's a better experience that way and all that.
But sometimes he wants to be selfish and just wants to get off. A quick wank isn't complicated, it doesn't take effort, and he doesn't need to worry about whether you got anything out of it. No, of course it isn't as good. But it's quick, easy, and guilt free.
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A
female
reader, smiliek  +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Guys use porn as a quick masturbation aid. Its nothing against you, and its not because he's not attracted to you. My hubby has told me before that he sometimes masturbates as a stress release. We have sex or do something sexual just about every day, and him sometimes doing stuff never affects that. Do you still have a good sex life? Do you get turned down for porn? Does he treat you well? The answers to these will allow us to see if he is like many guys who just watch it sometimes, or if he has a problem..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): im not sure why we do it... maybe we just feel like it when u girrlz aint around
but i know this... it jus cant replace the real thing
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): Perhaps you are not as attractive as a porn star, or you are not naked and willing to have sex with him 24/7. Perhaps he likes to see the angles you can't provide him.
In all honesty, don't be threatened by it. While he's probably attracted to you (assuming you have sex) that doesn't mean he's going to find ONLY you attractive. Also, porn does provide kinks that he might not be comfortable confessing to you. If anything, embrace it, watch it together to get you in the mood. Getting angry at him about it is only going to push him away.
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A
female
reader, KRSMouse  +, writes (12 December 2010):
I know the feeling! My boyfriend gave me his phone to answer calls etc on a year or so back while he was getting tattooed, and as I browsed, I found some horrendeously graphic videos that he had obviously watched online and recorded onto his phone.
It does make you feel inadequate! And I don't know what kind of person you are, but in the end, if he requested I send him a pic of me that was a little rude, I did. I figured i'd sooner do that and have him look at me then go online! And to be fair, to my knowledge, he doesn't look at porn anymore!
I do think it is a general guy thing though. Think about when you go to the magazine section of a store, rows and rows of magazine covers with big busted half naked women. Are there any magazines of buff men for us women?! No, cause there just isn't a market for that kind of thing, as you say, we're just not really that interested! Same goes for stip clubs. Guys go to genuinely enjoy the view. If we get a male stripper, you can guaruntee its a hen do and its just for a laugh and not sexual thrills!
What i'm trying to say is, as much as I know it hurts, I think it is just a guy thing and it is one of those things in life that we will never understand! it wouldn't matter if you were a page 3 girl yourself, guys like to look at these things and we just have to deal with it!
I would just sit down and talk to him though, explain it offends you, that it makes you feel inadequate, see if you can get to the bottom of why he is doing it, and more importantly, if there's anything you can do to stop it. It might be that people he works with look at the same sites, and he looks so that he can join in conversation in the office. Just try to have a rational conversation with him about it, and try not to take it personally, i'm sure him looking at it is absolutely nothing to do with any inadequacy on your part!
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (12 December 2010):
 Various reasons, they just want a quick way yo get off, they want variety.
Guys don't NEED to look at porn, they WANT to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): I'm in the saaame exact boat as you are! so are some of my other girlfriends. Our boyfriends look at porn and we are some pretty hot girls ourselves lol. Listen girl, I used to get uspet about it and I said to him, "WHY DO YOU LOOK AT PORN?" Do you want to know what his reply was? He said, "Because I'm a man and that's what we do it is nothing against you." I dont understand.....I guess we need MEN to answer this question! I'm glad u posted this because it was probably going to be one of my next questions lol!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2010): idk how it is for girls. i actually asked tht question earlier. but i noe guys r always thinking of sex and always want that feeling. our hormones r a mess. is the porn hes looking up following a pattern? r they all like foot fetish,anal, or something u dont usually do with him during sex? maybe he wnts u to do something freaky but is embarrassed to ask u for it. so ask him if thats the problem. hope it helps, ily, i love all the ppl i try to help, cuz i empathize ---joerns
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