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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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He won't give oral, I'm feeling hurt and losing my sex drive!
Q. Hello, I have been with my bf for over a year now. At the beginning because I wasn't ready for sex he gave me oral i guess to lure me in. Then afterwards it went from once a month to now once in 6 months. Everytime I bring it up he gets defe...
A. 4 December 2010: No to oral then no to his fantasies. women have the upper hand and can control the bedroom. Just cut him off until he "performs"... (read in full...)
A severe injury broke my hymen and my boyfriend won't accept this, even though I've never had sex!
Q. i had never slept with anyone neither had sex but still i lose my virginity due to severe injury doing gymnastic but my boy frend is not ready to accept this can any one plz tell me whot to do because i dont want to lose him i really love him....
A. 4 December 2010: If I were in his shoes, I'd believe you. He obviously places a ton of importance in virginity..is he one? If not the double stardard is alive and well. Take it from an old guy, if he doesn't believe you now he's not worth the effort. PS, ... (read in full...)
The magical touch that we once had in our relationship is now gone
Q. Hello I am 20 years old, I have been in LDR wid this guy for bout two years, in de beginning he was sweet n everything seemed to be so magical. Now the problem is we do not have anything to talk bout, months n months pass n we dont talk on phone n ...
A. 4 December 2010: Don't feel alone, That "magic touch" fades in ALL relationships but it sounds like in this one your guy is distracted by something else altogether. Perhaps a "time out " is needed to re-ignight the flames?... (read in full...)
He's browsing women's sexy clothing websites!
Q. Hi everyone, I'm the girl that had the boyfriend who wanted a break. Well things haven't gone as far as that but I have found that he has been checking out girls wearing sexy clothes online. He is no way looking at pornography, just girls weari...
A. 16 November 2010: Maybe he's ghonna buy you something nice.... (read in full...)
I'm way more pleased with myself than guilty!
Q. This morning i cheated on my fiance with someone I met online. I have been with my fiance for 8 years...my question is why don't i feel guilty? I try to make excuses like i did it for an ego boost because i have low self esteem or that it was nice ...
A. 16 November 2010: Like beauty, guilt is in the eyes of the beholder. slf flaggulation is practiced in some societies but not this one. If you really think you did someting wrong with that relatively minor event then just promise yourself you'll neve do it again and ... (read in full...)
Disastrous first attempt at sex
Q. I had sex for the first time today and it was kindof a disaster. We were both really nervous, and he kept loosing his erection for a while, and then he finally was able to keep it and he clumsily put on the condom. It was really hard to get it i...
A. 16 November 2010: First time sex is normally a traumatic event in one way or another. Don't dwell on the bad parts but take some time away from trying to "get it right" then later [much later since you're way young] try it again in a more relaxed atmosphere and ... (read in full...)
My husband is old school!
Q. My husband is from "the old scjhool", who beleives giving a male (a kid)co-worker a ride home (because his car broke down), is a breech of trust and that, I, as a married woman, should not be "driving around town with men in my car". First ...
A. 16 November 2010: I'm not so sure that "old school" should be rewritten. I was brought up in a very laid back, permissive,multi-cultutaral invironment(born and raised in Hawaii) My father was a Texas born,Navy trained authoritarian. We clashed all the time, he was ... (read in full...)
Dreams, what do they mean?
Q. well our relationship is done now from over 6 monthes but i'm still love him and i dreamed of him kissing me 3 times i don"t konw what does this mean help me i'm confused monthes ago he told me he dreamed of me under a tree reading a book what ...
A. 16 November 2010: Don't try to resd "numerology" into a dream there's no relationship- the subconcious rarely thinks in terms of numbers which are much more a concious reality and shouldn't "sneak into" a dream sequence.... (read in full...)
How can I make him explode again, without the aid of porn?
Q. I love my boyfriend 5 months. We are both virgins but engage in oral sex. My problem is the blowjob. FYI I love to please him. I've given him 6 complete ones so far. (there were others in between but dont count because we were distracted interrupted ...
A. 12 November 2010: If he "tends to doze off" during a blow job there is no hope,porn won't help. Gawd!... (read in full...)
I just don't want my husband anymore!
Q. hi, i am 31 and my hubby is 33, we have been together for 11 years, married for 6 and have 3 children together, 9,7,4. my problem is that i don't want him any more, i hate him a lot of the time and i don't want him to touch me any more. i do have ...
A. 12 November 2010: female "anon" seems to have this issue pegged pretty well.... (read in full...)
We'll be talking frequently, then suddenly he vanishes for weeks on end! What is going on?
Q. Ok so I am a bit confused. There's this guy, we met about 7 months ago and the chemistry was amazing. Then he had to go home (we met while he was on vacation) but we've been keeping in touch via the net. I had plans to come visit him early next y...
A. 12 November 2010: Have you heard of bigomy? Investigate further(quietly) you may be in trouble...just a thought but better to err on the side of safety than let things "evolve"... (read in full...)
Retroactive jealousy and small penis paranoia
Q. i believe i have two issues that combine to ruin my life and my relationship. a relationship with someone that needs me more than I have ever been needed - she is so sweet and so beautiful - she has no one else to turn to or to be loved by but her ...
A. 11 November 2010: you've pretty well summed up the anx of most men my friend!... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend keep looking at porn???
Q. I've caught my boyfriend for the second time looking at porn and masturbating over it. I hate the thought of my boyfriend looking at other naked girls on the internet and wanking off to them. Iv been seeing him for just over 2 years and its ...
A. 1 November 2010: The agless question of why is not gonna get answered. it's how you deal with it. Some of us feel it's normal so telling us it hurts someone makes NO sense..I guess TV is bad too? It's vapor!... (read in full...)
I hit my wife after she kicked me, but my son saw the whole thing. How can I make this right?
Q. we have been married for four years, mostly good times, but when we fight it gets ugly, and yesterday for the first time ever i slapped her after she kicked me during a very heated fight. the worst part about it is that this all took place in front ...
A. 1 November 2010: you've planted the seed of yet another abuser(he'll grow up thinking it's 'normal' to kick/hit and yell) so, in one way it's too late, in another,it's an opportunity to grow closer(all3) It's depending on you so be careful!! why not go to a ... (read in full...)
Do I tell her that her boyfriend slept with me?
Q. I'm in fairly tricky situation at the moment. For the past year and a half me and this guy had a serious thing going on. Anywho, we broke things off, and he got himself a girlfriend, whilst I stayed single. A few months after, he randomly co...
A. 1 November 2010: OK, you've been given some great advice now i'll give mine in the form of a question...if you were her would you want to know? and if yes why?... (read in full...)
What if I cannot stop my attraction to my sister in law?
Q. hi, Im back again with these SIL thing. I got your answers to the question however I dont think it done me much justice. Im still having these feeling in fact I woke up thinking about her. What if i cant stop it? I know im married and so is she with ...
A. 1 November 2010: it will ruin your life! go and get an anwer from a prof. Take your wife with you.... (read in full...)
First time sex anxiety!
Q. how to overcome anxiety in first sexual intercourse?...
A. 1 November 2010: In my humble opinion if you have anxiety about sex you probably shouldn't do it...trust your instincts. It may just not be right for you at this time--You have a whole lot of life ahead of you enjoy it. Don't force anything,relax. Life is way too ... (read in full...)
Is he pulling my leg here?
Q. i've been working at my job for 3 years, just like 2 years ago this guy started well like 3 months in to him working then we started having sex but he says he didnt want anything serious but is talking about he wants me to be his baby momma number ...
A. 31 October 2010: like the lyrics to the song go; 'players keep on playin'... (read in full...)
If he needs to watch porn does it mean I am not enough?
Q. I am not sure whether to be offended or not I've been with my boyfriend for roughly 2 years and the only time ive known him to put porn on is when he is trying to wind me up by putting it on the computer so i can see it, but i have recently noticed ...
A. 31 October 2010: A suggestion, watch with him and when you notice a trend in what really turns him on perform it with him.... (read in full...)
He took rough sex too far and now I'm afraid to trust him
Q. My boyfriend like to be rough during sex. So when he started slapping my face about 6 months ago I told him that he was taking it too far and they only thing I don't want him to do is slap me because I feel like he is abusing me. He still likes to ...
A. 24 October 2010: We knew a couple a long time ago...she didn't mind mildly "rough sex" but it got to where he simply could not "finish" unless he hit her to see her wince. One night, he beat her up very badly and she finnaly filed for divorce and got it. Best ... (read in full...)
Husband is a big time drinker! Do I stay?
Q. My question to you is that I been with my husband for 16 years we have 3 beautiful girls together, my husband is a big time drinker and Iam not talking just about beer its hard liquor Its where my oldest daughter he hits her,and verbally abusive me ...
A. 22 October 2010: A bad temper and alchohol don't mix ever so the rest is obvious.... (read in full...)
Yikes!!! I can't stop masturbating!
Q. ill start off by saying that im 16, and im a girl. im also a virgin, but not by choice. if it was up to me, id be having sex all the time. with girls and guys. im bisexual. i go to school online, so im always at home on the computer, and my parents ...
A. 22 October 2010: At 16 your hormones are at their peak...enjoy it while you can once the hormones fold up shop it's over and you'll be living in memory-ville so go-baby-go!... (read in full...)
Should I get pregnant knowing my fiance doesn't want another child?
Q. My fiance and I have 3 boys (5,2,1 week), i just gave birth to a baby on 10/14. I desperately want to try for a girl and he doesn't want anymore children. 2 are his and 1 is from a previous relationship. He now wants to use condoms and get me on ...
A. 21 October 2010: No with the 'holes' in the condoms if you got pregnant using deception like that there is no telling how badly that could turn out. Step back and think it over[as weird as is might sound] that would be a selfish thing to do and he could hold it ... (read in full...)
Why do I stay? I hate the way my wife makes me feel!
Q. Dear Cupid The reason im asking you this is because you have read 1,000's of peoples storys. Im very lost and hurt. I cant focus on reality. I really need some support by someone or a group. Ive been married for 6 years. My second marriage. Im her 4...
A. 18 October 2010: You stay because you're afraid of the new challenges you would face and you've become dependant... (read in full...)
I am married but still in love with my ex fiance.....
Q. Let me tell you by ive been married for bout nine months....but before me and my husband got married.. i was previously engaged to my ex and dated him for four years before we split... weve been split up for two years and through those two years he ...
A. 17 October 2010: Sadly, after 46 years of marraige, i still haven't stopped thinking about my first tru love..it never goes away!... (read in full...)
Questions for women who aren't virgins
Q. when and why did you decide to lose your virginity? was there a particular event which set you off or was it a logical decision? did you regret losing it the way you did or still have fond memories of it? what went really well/really bad?...
A. 17 October 2010: Me thinks thou doust protest too loudly. i.e i think you're fishing for first timer stories. If I'm wrong you may be living in a fantasy that is beyond my experiences. sorry.... (read in full...)
Help! Is my penis small?
Q. I'm barely 6" long and about 5 1/2" in girth. I feel small based on reactions I get from women. What is considered a small penis? Am I really small? Women seem pleased, and I make them orgasm most of the time, so I dont know why I get that "oh, ...
A. 13 October 2010: DUDE, e're all(us men)preoccupied with size...there's no way out of it and we'll die never getting an answer that is satisfactory. It started when we were kids and escalated from there. Remember PE classes?... (read in full...)
I don't understand men at all!!!
Q. Well, basically I don't understand men at all, whatsoever at the minute, so I have come here in desperate need for some advice. I met a boy not long ago, he took my number, but never passed on his. Today, he text me saying... "I miss you short...
A. 13 October 2010: this why I contend texting id a joke..what the heck is wrong with just talking on the phone instead of pfftand lol etc. it's a third language full of pitfalls. Men are from mars and women are from venus-nuf said.... (read in full...)
Should I ask my boyfriend about his family?
Q. im 13, me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 months. he is at my house all the time ive never been in his. but i dont care im afraid to meet his parents to be h=honest but he is quite close with mines. we never really talk much about his ...
A. 11 October 2010: It's a guess but I'm thinking you sound asain. I don't know the customs in that part of the world but there may be a conflict culturally so caution is advised. if I'm way off base and you are not asian then yes you must know all you can about ... (read in full...)
Is he replacing sex with porn after a year?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together a year in five days. For the last couple of months, I've known about his porn problem. He didn't tell me, I had to find it on the computer one day. There was A LOT of it too. I tried talking to him about it, but ...
A. 8 October 2010: spending money on something that's free all over the internet is crazy...you can turn this boat around but it'll take some time. ask him what he wants and give it to him conditionally.... (read in full...)
Is 33 years plus old over the hill???
Q. Is 33 years plus old over the hill truthfully Because I feel its is... your youth is gone......
A. 8 October 2010: I'm 66 and i never saw the hill coming but I crested somewhere, I think it was 50 when a stroke stopped me in my tracks. Live life, laugh and don't sweat the hills or the valleys. Like Omar Kaham said;" Then to to lip of this earthen ern I learned ... (read in full...)
I was curious as to where my boyfriend lived, so I drove by his house but I think he saw me!
Q. I was curious as to where my boyfriend lived. So when I thought he was going to be gone, I drove by his house. I think he saw me, cause just as I was going by, he was backing out of his drive. He hasn't said anything, but I think he saw me. I ...
A. 7 October 2010: What! how dare him see you, you must be old enough to drive so you should be old enough to deal with a "serious" event like getting caught driving by a house where some guy lives. Drive anywhere you want to drive.... (read in full...)
How do I deal with this work situation? My FWB blabbed!
Q. I recently had a few sexual experiences with a Dr at our hospital, I am a nurse. We don't talk a lot, although he is pretty flirty when I see him he is still hard to read outside of work, also I told him in the beginning I only wanted "friends with ...
A. 7 October 2010: I agree with "dear jilly" you're not the abused here!... (read in full...)
Why do I feel so unloved when my girlfriend says she won't have sex with me?
Q. Why do I feel so unloved, unappreciated, and dirty when my girlfriend says she won't have sex with me? Why do I feel as if she doesn't desire me anymore? Why do I feel so...... Down......?...
A. 7 October 2010: A. sex doesn't equal love and 2.it's not all about you! Get a life! She is in charge of her body not you.... (read in full...)
Do I end my marriage or keep letting him destroy my self esteem?
Q. I'm 41 years old, my husband and I have been married for 6 years, I knew when we got married he was into porn but thought he had gotten better, but here recently he got a new cell phone, and every time I look, when he's not expecting me to, its ...
A. 5 October 2010: You "thought he was getting better"? Liking porn isn't like having a cold..it's an addictive turn on. Why can't you just get over it? It's a problem only if you make it one. The images on the screen are vapor they can't hurt you. Would a real ... (read in full...)
How often do guys jerk off?
Q. I'm not a guy and I honestly don't understand how men work. I am with my boyfriend for almost a year. For 5 years prior to this relationship he was single. He had to get used to taking matters into his own hands for quite some time. When I first ...
A. 5 October 2010: At 66 I usually get off at least once a day by myself. I'd go for more but my wife seems to think I'm wierd after once/day. i tell her it's my business not hers but women seem to think it's naughty or dirty or something so i give in to once/day ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has stopped giving oral...
Q. Hi Ive been with my girlfriend 2 years now, things are good and we are planning to move in together in the next few weeks. In the bedroom though i have a real issue, oral. At the start, she gave oral regularly (2 or 3 times a week) and sa...
A. 5 October 2010: Look! BJs are great and all but NOTHING beats a great hand job by your girl. Assuming she's good at it that's all a guy really needs...it's way better than oral sex any day.... (read in full...)
How do I achieve being a one man woman?
Q. I am what you call a "real life Samantha Jones". I'm a 47 year old woman who lost her virginity when she was 12. Throughout my teen years after that, I had seven sex partners. One of which was my first love who I lost my virginity to (we were ...
A. 5 October 2010: A start might be to assume monogogy is a great thing. Any time you think you're going to want to "mess around" with others just hold in your mind's eye that it is him that's about to cheat.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a ''threesome''!
Q. Hi there, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He's lovely and I love him so much. I lost my virginity to him and want him to be the only one in my life. Few months ago, he said something that hurt me. He said ''what do you think abou...
A. 5 October 2010: Don't fall for it. It will never work out...it's just a male fantasy but reality will slap the spit out of you. You'd be better off letting him watch porn all day while you watch.... (read in full...)
How can I make my marriage better?
Q. My husband and i have been together for 2 years and a half, since 1 year ago we have been having some problems, we are coming from diferents cultures and have different ways to see life, i know he loves me and i love him with all my life but there ...
A. 5 October 2010: While communication is the secret to a long lasting marraige, a lot of sex doesn't hurt. Great him daily with a desire for his physical love and his soulful love will tag along and grow.... (read in full...)
I want to give my husband the best blow job ever, but i dont know how.
Q. My husband and i have been trying new things i want to give him the best blow job ever but not sure how he is the only man i have done this to. He would tell me it was good even if it wasn't Come on guys help me out....
A. 5 October 2010: The real key to a "perfect" blow job is to either act like or really do enjoy having his semen all over you,the breasts or face is best. say things like:" More, I love it it's so warm and thick..give me all of it!" you know things like that. That ... (read in full...)
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