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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Why do guys watch porn while they are in a stable relationship?
Q. Why do guys watch porn WHILE they are in a stable relationship? I found TEEN porn on my bf's computer. That makes me feel not good enough. Why do guys watch it, what is so interesting. I cant stand the thought that my bf is watching at other ...
A. 13 September 2010: Have you told him it makes you feel bad? If yes and he still does it it may just be the natural voyuer instinct all men have to watch sex. You shouldn't take it pwersonally. As to the why; There's no answer that will satisfy you. i've tried to ... (read in full...)
I like being loved, but is he too old for me?
Q. I've divorced my husband after 18 years together. I've met this man 20 years older than me. I dont like that big age gap. However he is a caring person and I find me attracted to him. A year on I dont find his wrinkles false teeth and big body ...
A. 10 September 2010: Assumig you are between 41 and 50 as the bio says then he's between 61 and 709I used a calculator) as a 66 year old man myself i can predict an escalating problem . He will age poorly compaired to you and you should be ready for the bad times. ... (read in full...)
Since the birth of our second child my husband doesn't want sex at all!
Q. I have been married close to 15 years. Have two adorable kids, but husband never wants intercourse. Our children are the product of me jumping on the horse and being the sex teacher. But after the birth of my second child he has absolutely no ...
A. 9 September 2010: Sounds very strange to me, after our first son was born we could leave each other alone... (read in full...)
Should I apologise to her again personally?
Q. hi i had a fight with my girl in the office. our friends and other colleagues were also there. she shouted on me and i did the same thing. afterwards i realized that it was my fault. due to my guilt i apologize her by writing a note rather than ...
A. 9 September 2010: if you want forgiveness it starts with an apology... (read in full...)
Should I let him be part of my child's life?
Q. Well a few months ago my boyfriend and I were living together, happy relationship, and we find out that we're having a baby. Everything seemed to be going good (or so I thought). Then when I was 5 months pregnant I find out he had been cheating on ...
A. 9 September 2010: I can se why you might be conflicted in that denial of the father from the child. Is that a "punishment" of the father or the child for unforgiveable actions by the creepy father BUT, the safety of the child seems to outwiegh the "punishment" ... (read in full...)
After sex I feel worried and confused!
Q. im really confused because me and my boyfriend have just started having sex and just before we do it i feel like i really want it but after i feel confused and worried and feel like he doesnt love me what should i do?...
A. 8 September 2010: agree with "seeing stars" she has it nailed... (read in full...)
I'm not sure I like him anymore because of this girl!
Q. hey...i need help... my friend a boy, who i've known For a long time about 11 years i've never thought of liking him as more than a friend. this is my problem we're seatmates and we usually talk about everything and it's usually just the two of us ...
A. 8 September 2010: Ah the agony of teenage anxiety it is enough to make a man wax poetic but the answer is to quote a poet "blowing in the wind" I must apologize but there is no concrete way to tie down the fleeting feelings of youthful glances and meaningful ... (read in full...)
Am I just a huge fool???
Q. My husband and I have been married for 10 years. During this time he has done horrible things to me from abusing me sexually, beating me, and causing us to loose everything we own twice. This didn't happen until 3 years into our marriage after he ...
A. 7 September 2010: In my view once a man has abused a women he has ceased being a man and shouldn't be given the time of day but I'm "old school" and you sound much younger so my view may not agree with the hip young folks of today. Some women don't mind being ... (read in full...)
Should I just leave him alone? I don't trust him now!
Q. helow. Im 19 and im having problems wit my bf. He is 20 and we have been going owt 4 two n a half years nw. He always says he loves me. Bt i dnt trust him. A year ago i found porn on his phone. I confronted him abowt it n he sed he wil neva du it ...
A. 7 September 2010: Second chances are what relationships are all about. But remember you can't read his thoughts so he might think porno thoughts from time to time so better be careful(joking0.... (read in full...)
Cheating girlfriend
Q. I've been dating this girl for four months and i was aware she was a slut by the time i got involved with her but i thought she was going to change as time goes on but she didnt. I use to call her a slut and she kept on telling me that she was not ...
A. 7 September 2010: you're not obligated to do something. It's like that old saying,"Do something dummy even if it's wrong!" Well you can choose a downward spiral or the high ground. If i were you I'd take the high ground so start hiking. Leave her to her destiny ... (read in full...)
Did I pop my cherry or is something else wrong?
Q. This is kind off embarassing, I was masturbating the other day using an electric toothbrush, then I hve a really great sensational feeling, but suddenly there was a sharp painful feeling and the tootbrush was bloody.... now my stomache feels like ...
A. 7 September 2010: There's not enough info to determine what happened. to break the hymen, something needs to be inserted up into the vaginal passage. otherwise you may have just ruptured some blood vessels. I'd limit my techniques to the use of fingers with ... (read in full...)
Do you think my body type will attract guys?
Q. im a little fat.... but im shapely and i have a close to flat tummy and 40 C boobs. i am worried everyone will just think im a fat lard lol. my middle skewl friends say thee are alot of REALLY fat people. im starting middle school tommorow and im ...
A. 6 September 2010: If body type really mattered all that much in a loving relationship there's one heck of a lot of us that would be out there looking for a bridge to jump from. You're a woman, act like one and get off the body type hype!... (read in full...)
Should I settle with him?
Q. I recently just left a 10 year relationship to a man I was engaged to. We've had our ups and downs and I think I should have left earlier, I was just too comfortable and scared to do so. We now have this new house that we've both committed to and ...
A. 6 September 2010: If I understand the essence of the question. It sounds like you want someone to tell you it's advisable to "settle with" someone less than you think you might either deserve or want for a lifelong mate. If you turn that questiond a little you ... (read in full...)
It's time he chooses... me or his family!
Q. Finding this site has helped me a lot, now i know i am not alone. i am 26 yrs got married last year february, still trying for a baby. my inlaws bad mouth me and make me do all their household chores. my brother inlaws wife has 8 children some are ...
A. 6 September 2010: Opinions are like a-holes everyone has one...Here's mine break off as soon as you can and find a gentleman that will worship you.... (read in full...)
Do guys lie about not being virgins?
Q. Do guys lie and say theyre not virgins when they really are? and will theyre guy friends lie for them??because im a virgin and my boyfriend and his friend said he wasnt a virgin .then when we tryed to have sex he could put it in..and he told me to ...
A. 6 September 2010: Here's a newsflash us guys lie about almost everything if it suits our needs at the moment.... (read in full...)
Should I give things one more try? Or just stay away from him?
Q. I need some advise.I'm married for 3.5 years.My marriage did not go well right from the start.My husband was verbally and emotionally abusive.My in-laws played their part too in making my life miserable.I could not take it any more. So i just walked ...
A. 6 September 2010: not unless you enjoy mental abuse and over control keep on walking... (read in full...)
Masturbation side effects?
Q. What are the side effects of masturbation?...
A. 6 September 2010: pleasure and gratification... (read in full...)
I have always had a fear of men. Help me here!
Q. I have always had a fear of men. I feel like there is no way I will ever get married or have children because of it. I already feel like I will never be loved. I recently just realized that people dont make friends because of looks [I know that some ...
A. 5 September 2010: it's hard to tell if your "fears" are rational or irrational. if you'd been assualted it would be a rational fear. Otherwise you could be just anxious about men in general9normal) Or, you've got n irrational fear that's kinda like a fear of aliens ... (read in full...)
My teacher has hit on me help please
Q. ok so guys i need help before the six weeks hoilday my it teacher tried to hit on me,i do fancie him a little but her promied me that he would let me pass my exams if i would have sex with him and he would give me an a but i didnt and i keep get...
A. 5 September 2010: report his sorry butt to the authorities or he'll keep hitting on others until he gets what he wants and ruins her life forever! the pervert needs a good beating.... (read in full...)
Is he taking me for granted?
Q. Am I being taken for granted? I ma naturally good natured and calm. Recently my boyfriend seems to be taking this for granted. He says he'll do something or be somewhere then cancels. He's more than often late to arrangements. Everything seems...
A. 5 September 2010: sounds like you already have him pegged Now, the question is; what to do about it? I'd like to throw out a thought...tell him you're sick of his ways and break up. there's a guy out there that will worship the ground you walk on. Go find him!... (read in full...)
Lost in high school, lost in life generally
Q. I'm 14 and I really need help.I'm going through a really bad time in my life right now and I don't know what to do. Life sucks pretty much. All the stress from school and pressure i put on myself to do well in school is really getting to me. It's ...
A. 5 September 2010: Yeah, I remember high school. What I wish I had done now is keep a detailed diary of every conversation,every thought,every emotion. Because when you get older you'll rember high school was the best time of your life! Like Simon and Garfunkle'ws ... (read in full...)
"I love you but I don't know why"
Q. My wife says " I love you, but I don't know why". We have been married 1.5 years. We have known each other nearly seven years. ...
A. 5 September 2010: I've been married 47 years and I still don't know why she loves me but at this point who cares why as long as she does...I don't know why anyone loves another it just is9that's why love is so many things to so many people) Chill my friend, don't ... (read in full...)
I'm involved in a consensual three-way relationship with two other women... and now they want to bring in a fourth! Do I say yes?
Q. Okay, my situation may seem a bit wierd but i need some help. I am in a three-way relationship with two women, Tara and Sophie. We are all lesbians and we are all involved with each other intentionally. We have had sex together numerous times over ...
A. 4 September 2010: Has she been tested recently? If so what the heck you may consider a bigger bed?... (read in full...)
Do girls really judge how their boyfriends look even if they love them?
Q. hey guys i need some really reeally really good advice here coz i need it have u ever felt that ur girlfriend is just too good for u to the point that u would even think that she may cheat on u ? im not a bad looking guy but the problem is not h...
A. 3 September 2010: Well, yes we all do it to a degree. If you are a candidate for the fashion police then she might dump you. You should always try to look your best love or no love.... (read in full...)
Should my husband and I swap with my sister and her husband?
Q. hi i am 34 years old married woman and my husband is 36 years old working in multinational. we both like sex too much and we do sex daily morning and night 2-3 times. now we are thinking to have sex with other married couple and both are agree. he ...
A. 3 September 2010: cars maybe, sex partners no... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is only happy when I eat but it makes me sad when I have to eat!
Q. I am 14 and have trouble eating! I think i am pudgy! my boyfriend tells me all the time that he loves how i look, and that im not pudgy, and anytime i see like family now, they always tell me that i look like i've gotten skinnier, and my sister is ...
A. 3 September 2010: NOW LISTEN TO THE PEOPLE WARNING YOU About the eating disorder thing...It's the damn truth! You are at a very vulnerable age and the letter you write is just classic low self esteem due to "comparative analysis" (probably not a medical tern but I ... (read in full...)
He blames me for not being able to cum! Help!
Q. I've met this much older man after my divorce. We have sex like we were in our thirties. Four years on he is strugling to satisfy me. And I am near 50 and I am not so crazy about sex. It doesnt matter to me we have less sex. The thing that ...
A. 1 September 2010: not your problem...it's his problem; he'll get used to it.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex with a prostitute? I'm married.
Q. I love my wife, and have never cheated on her, and have no fantasies about doing so in the future. However, what if your wife just flat out refuses to do something that you are curious about? What if you want to experience a threesome at lea...
A. 1 September 2010: Let's see humm, Would you love it if you overheard your wife telling her best friend about her "experiences" with the postman(just once to see what it was like)? You mmight think about it another way. You come back from your exploits to find you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not trust me and is rushing me into sex with him!
Q. Hi, I am 15 and I have a boyfriend who is 16. We have been togther for 5 months and he means the world to me and he always tells me that he cant even imagine living without me. We are pretty close and comfortable with each other; we have the kind of ...
A. 31 August 2010: Fifteen year old girls should be virgins run from this dude and find one that respects you.... (read in full...)
She won't swallow!! Help!
Q. How after 5 years of great sex do I get my girlfriend to swallow? I return the faver to her in every way..oral sex, anal licking, she dose not like oral sex on her but she lets me preform it on her every so often and enjoys it most of the time. She ...
A. 31 August 2010: Oh, whah,whah,whah...she won't swallow OMG You're so far more lucky that you have a girl that will even do what she does for you. Most girls won't even let you discharge in the same room much less their mouth. count your blessings and forget ... (read in full...)
Is it me or is it ED?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 months. He is 30 years old and we seem to be having sexual problems. Some time I can not make him get hard, other times we start to have sex and he goes soft or we go forever and he never cums. I have only had ...
A. 31 August 2010: I can't really relate but it sounds kinda like an ED problem for a urologist to deal with. I'm skepticle about these ED ads anyway though . They show the women as the initiator which I find alien to me. Usually the last one in the room wanting sex ... (read in full...)
My little sister wants to have sex in the church! what can I do?
Q. this question is for my little sister she is 16 and she really wants to have sex with her boyfriend she thinks she will be with him forever i dont know what to tell her his parents are total assholes and the only place they can have sex is church ...
A. 31 August 2010: I'd be willing to bet they're not serious about having sex in church. it would totally disrupt the service. Tell her to wait until she can find a guy willing to hump it in bed on the wedding night.... (read in full...)
What's it like losing your virginity?
Q. so im talking to this guy about having sex with him so i can have a first time. i really like him but i dont think he feels the same way.. he is only 2 years older than me. should i have sex with him? he is in college and im a junior. and how bad ...
A. 31 August 2010: You sound very young...Your virginity is something you only have once therfore "give it" to the one you plan to be with foever so he doesn't wonder what you did and with who. Trust me, After 46 years of marraige to a non-virgin, i still wonder and ... (read in full...)
Should she fight through the urge to pee during sex?
Q. Hi, so my question is when my GF and I have sex, she gets that sensation to wanna pee. So she'll stop and literally go pee(She actually pees) and comes back so we start again and she gets the same feeling again after a few minutes. I tell her to ...
A. 31 August 2010: Try not having much liquid to drink prior to "date night' OR, use a bunh of towels on the bed and let er go. might be fun!... (read in full...)
It takes SO long for him in the bedroom
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been with each otehr over a year, and we're having trouble when it comes to sex. This isn't your usual... it only takes him three minutes! This is.. oh god, it takes him nearly three hours. We've tried to work each other up ...
A. 31 August 2010: foreplay is the key to great sex. Sounds like you all just go right to it and there's no suspense. Believe it or not you're considered a lucky girl by some. many guys suffer from premature ejaculation and their wives complain about that. Slow ... (read in full...)
What do guys my age think of young ladies like me???
Q. I am a 23yr old virgin. Whenever I go out men are always complimenting me..asking if Im a model.. and trying to get my number. I am tall, i work out, eat healthy, am very stylish/classy, and I love God. I live with my dad, grandma, and my dog. I ...
A. 31 August 2010: A "real" man won't ask if you're a virgin. When and if he finds out, a REAL man will respect you more than you'll ever know. Too many women your age have given it away for little or or no real reason and a REAL man is in awe of those girls that ... (read in full...)
Why don't girls have sex as much as guys?
Q. I would like to ask a question at a general/stereotypical level - Why don't girls have sex as much as guys? Eg. a single guy goes to a party/club/bar and hopes something will happen. A single girl goes to the same place and doesn't let anyt...
A. 31 August 2010: IF someone told you that if you had sex you might get an STD Or you may only get pregnant and be miserable for nine months then squeeze a seven or eight pound live kikking screaming baby from your pelvis maybe you'd think twice about juming in bed ... (read in full...)
I was really offended. Am I being silly?
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. He is really great and we get on so well. Just the other night we where lying in bed as usual watching tele and he said to me “if you gave me a blow job for everytime I've watched porn you have a ...
A. 31 August 2010: Sounds like the silly one is the one you're hooked up with.... (read in full...)
Leaving my wife for someone prettier?
Q. I grew up with a childhood fantasy of marrying a blond blue eyed girl, and instead I married a beautiful dark hair and eyed woman. We've been married for several years, and we have just one tween daughter... but now I want to pursue this idea...
A. 31 August 2010: Your ammended question is much more reasonable..OK you may not be a complete jerk but klike stated above...you're not going to be the catch of the day forever so re-define yourself as one that fixates on true beauty not "air-brushed" pretty babes ... (read in full...)
What happened to our sex life?
Q. Look..im very upset.. My girlfriend (I think) is losing sex drive with me...when we first started dating she swallowed and like a little bit of anal. Now 4 years later she will not do any of it...and we haven't had sex in amonth...what is going on?...
A. 31 August 2010: Good B.J.s do not a good marriage make. Get over yourself, concentrate on other things.most women hate the things that guys like.... (read in full...)
I want to divorce him but I feel guilty for not trying!
Q. I have been with my husband since early 2008 and we have a 2 year old son and when i was pregnant i set up a fake profile of this 'hot' chick to test him. It was sneaky but all he had to do was say 'thanks but no thanks, my partner is pregnant' etc, ...
A. 31 August 2010: People say divorce is OK for the kid(they never remember,etc.) that's BS, If you don't give a hoot about the kid then file, otherwise seek help.... (read in full...)
Leaving my wife for someone prettier?
Q. I grew up with a childhood fantasy of marrying a blond blue eyed girl, and instead I married a beautiful dark hair and eyed woman. We've been married for several years, and we have just one tween daughter... but now I want to pursue this idea...
A. 31 August 2010: Beauty(real beauty) doesn't come in a photographic image. You must be the greatest looking dude on the planet to think you "deserve" a particular type of person. her eyes will tell the real beauty even if they're dark brown. I can't believe you ... (read in full...)
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