A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in an open relationship with someone for almost 3 months but I've been treating it as if it was a real relationship. I know open relationships are shallow and I really hate them but she didn't want a real one. The worse thing is that I really love her but she doesn't love me back. She's literally on my mind 24/7 and I see myself consistently changing moods depending on how she talks to me. She would not text me back for 3 days after kissing me and it'd drive me crazy. This is getting out of hand and I can't control my feelings. It's so unhealthy that I must tell her that it's over, before I break down from being mistreated. So... how do I break it? considering the fact that you can't really "break" a relationship that isn't honest? How do I let her know that she hurt me and that I really love her? As much as I love her, she should acknowledge how... mean she is
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2010): You seem like a sweet guy who has more to offer a woman than a roll in the sack. Tell her she is not the kind of girl you see fit and that it's over. Then find you a sweet girl who doesn't want to be every guys wam bam. You deserve a girl you can be proud of when you take her home to meet your family. This girl is a loose caboose.
A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (25 December 2010):
Just tell her it isn't working for you and think its best you both go your seperate ways. I did something similar for a woman I loved with all my heart. She liked me but never reciprocated the feelings I had for her. I stayed in that open relationship much longer than I should have. But one day I finally realized as much as I thought I cared for her, as happy as I thought she made me, I deserved someone who felt the same about me, NOT someone who I only hoped would one day have feelings for me.
good luck
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A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003 +, writes (25 December 2010):
 Just tell her its not working for you because you have deeper feelings for her than she does for you.
There's no reason why it would make much of a difference to her.
It does make a difference to you. But ask yourself why you find yourself so in love with someone whom you knew could not commit to you? The answer is basically simple: you want what you can't have. That's why you feel a deeper emotional commitment to her hoping she'll change her mind. She won't.
So just move on. Find someone that wants to commit to you and only you.
Otherwise this will never work out, and you'll always end up getting hurt in the end.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 December 2010):
 Sentence Two Says it all! It's like when a person starts a sentence with,"I really shouldn't tell you this,but..." And then they go on to tell you things you didn't want to hear. Bail out and as fast as you can! Find "commited relationship in the dictionary and then go do that.
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A
female
reader, DenimandLace44 +, writes (25 December 2010):
 You just tell her that this arrangement is not working for you and you feel its time for you to move on. Keep it simple, and do not attempt to make her feel guilty, seeing as it was clear from the beginning that she was not going to commit. You obviously went along because you had hopes she would fall for you and change. Im sorry that it didnt work out like that, but since it hasnt, you need to move on. Find someone who has the same goals and wants commitment. Good luck
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A
male
reader, shawncaff +, writes (25 December 2010):
 OK, first of all, I am not sure what you mean when you say she is being "mean". Not texting you after kissing you?
She wants an "open" relationship and you want a "closed" relationship. She's not being mean--she is keeping to her initial commitment. You are the one who wants more commitment on her part, and that's not fair.
Of course, I understand how tortuous it feels. But that's why you need to either make it a real relationship or get out. You are going to hurt yourself deeply and make you very angry at this girl if you continue.
The truth is, an "open" relationship is really a "closed" relationship, because you are being closed emotionally with the person you are with. A real relationship is about openness--being able to share your feelings, thoughts, etc. with the other person.
I hope you find that soon, because that is what you are looking for (as well you should be). And I am sure you will.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2010): Just dump her and find a lady.
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A
male
reader, Welsh Uncle Dave  +, writes (25 December 2010):
The most straightforward way is to tell her the truth tell her what is on your mind
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