A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 14 year old girl. I recently looked up porn and started to masturbate. I know I'm young but since the first time I can't stop. I feel bad or dirty after. I do but i can't stop... Is this healthy?? Does it mean I'm a sex addict?? Even if I'm still a virgin????
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female
reader, cupidgirl101 +, writes (24 January 2011):
you are discovering your sexuality and I wouldnt feel guilty or ashamed after. However, have you ever been sexually abused? This sometimes accounts for high frequency of things like this for youngsters.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2011): That's weird and it doesnt mean ur addicted.... And if u feel dirty about it then just stop
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (30 December 2010):
 How much do you masturbate? Do you find yourself avoiding your friends or chores/homework to masturbate instead?
The thing that will ruin your sex life is guilty and worry. Sex is not dirty or bad, masturbation is normal. Many women are unable to have orgasms because they have been taught that sex is a sin.
You have a body, you are able to give yourself pleasure, all very natural and normal. Nothing wrong at all.
Masturbation only become dangerous when you do this instead of doing other important things. Pornography is not meant for children, it gives you the wrong idea about sex. Real sex is very different, in relationships people kiss, and women refuse to do a lot of things that are shown in porno movies, because some of the things shown hurt are uncomfortable or embarrassing. Sex is also much funnier, much friendlier, and lot less scripted.
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A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (29 December 2010):
 I think it's just a little destructive to tell a young teen that this is perfectly healthy and harmless behaviour. Porn used to be sold only in adult stores to those 21 and over, and even today most porn websites still make some halfhearted attempt to restrict their users to those 18-21+. That's because even they know it isn't right for children who are just learning about sex and forming their values to be exposed to porn.
You could say it is healthy and normal for someone to enjoy the effects of alcohol the first time they try it. That doesn't mean it's fine for a child to get drunk every day. A child with a porn problem is like a child with a drinking, gambling or smoking problem.
You are 14, you feel "bad or dirty after," and you "can't stop". That sounds like you are at least somewhat addicted (to porn, not sex). But don't get down on yourself over this because at your age, your brain doesn't have full impulse control and you're just discovering things for the first time, so porn can feel overwhelming. Just try your best to avoid it at least until you're much older. It has nothing to teach you about healthy sexuality. In fact it could seriously lead you astray. And an addiction is just a bottomless pit consuming more and more of your time and attention without giving anything back, except for a brief high followed by a more lasting low.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2010): If anyone says stop it, you will not, because now it is your thrill and you will grab it every time get a chance, I suggest you to try to avoid it, in fact stop it, at this age, because it hurts your future and many are falling prey for this, if analyze yourself, it is hurting your soul that you know already, it hurts your future also, because, I am the one who is already suffering and with experience suggesting you, it will also makes you weak in sexual interest in future.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 you're a normal developing female...no problems-guilt is imposed by others forget it- it's not dirty to love your body
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A
female
reader, LuciW +, writes (28 December 2010):
There is nothing wrong with using porn and masturbating. Try not to go overboard though as porn makes sex look glamorous... when in reality its full of ungainly moves and squelches! Just as long as you realise that porn is fabrication and fantasy!
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (28 December 2010):
 It's absolutely normal and healthy. In fact, it is beneficial to get to know your body and learn what works best for you so that later on in life you'll know what you like and how to feel good when you're with a man. Just remember that porn is not reality and the way people look and act in porn isn't how people actually are.
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (28 December 2010):
 It's normal to masturbate and no it doesn't mean you are a sex addict, everyone enjoys pleasure and you have just recently discovered pleasure. Perhaps you have a higher sex drive than others? It doesn't make you an addict. Do you have to look at porn everytime to get off? Do you fantasize at all?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): The stuff on porn isn't real sex. It is distorted, exaggerated, twisted, controlling and CREATED to stimulate... or, rather.. to overstimulate.I am concerned that cutting your teeth on something that isn't really the way it happens in real life might screw you up. Your sexuality is awakening and you like it. That's okay, but don't make mistakes. Don't screw yourself up emotionally and psychologically on stuff that I couldn't even stomach at my age. Learn about sex by being with someone who loves you and who you love.I've read many things on this board... that shock the daylights out of me. I was never a prude... but compared to the stuff I hear... I might be a candidate for the convent by comparison.In all of my dating and sleeping around (only with boyfriends) I've never been exposed to any of the things I hear about... I was never asked to perform sexual acts or anything of the kind... never asked to give a BJ, never asked for anything. They enjoyed me and I enjoyed them. It was natural. It was good because it was natural.So there's no point in screwing yourself up... learn who you are before you jump into the deep end of the pool...Don't do things at such a young age that will distort who you COULD BE and who you CAN BE before you even have a chance...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): This is natural for everyone in the present world. Nothing to worry. If you are concentrating on your other hobbies, slowly you can reduce. it is not sex addiction. Anything with some limit is not harmful to our body. Since you are young you can concentrate on your future dreams and act vigorously on that. All the best.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Is it healthy? Yes and no. There is nothing inherently wrong with what you're doing, but watching too much porn can have negative effects on your sex life in the future. Masturbation is perfectly normal and healthy.
You're not a sex addict, you just like to orgasm. Who doesn't? Perhaps you've discovered that you also have a higher sex drive. Nothing wrong with that either.
I would recommend you cut back on the porn if possible. Try to fantasize instead. That doesn't have to be all the time, but it will help you in your sex life.
When it comes to sex, it's best to know what you like and not be ashamed of that. As long as you aren't hurting yourself or others (without their consent), there isn't really anything to worry about.
You're young, so I want to warn you to be careful. Your high sex drive may lead you to want to try having sex. Be very careful and wait if possible. Sex is much different than masturbation. It's never wrong to wait.
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