A
female
age
30-35,
*heerwhore23
writes:First off.. I'm not a whore..but I feel like many people "including friends" think I am!! All the guys with girlfriends ask me to get with them but I always say no! And I know I don't lead these guys on I mean I'm nice to them but they are all my childhood friends! It just seems like the guys that want me are the guys with girlfriends or they just wanna have fun. At first it was fun but now I actually want a good guy and I cant find one!! I don't dress slutty or prance around like a little priss.. So I don't get it!! I'm getting soo annoyed with it Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (22 December 2010):
 One really quick thing. Girls who smile too much and want to try to please everyone often get their intentions misconstrued or misunderstood by people around them. Also, in trying to please people, girls who laugh at rude or sexy jokes also might get a bit of a rep. It's not fair, it's just possible that you might have that going on.
Ask a good girlfriend why you have the reputation you do. The answer might make you uncomfortable or angry but it could help you take a look at how you might be contributing to the treatment you are receiving.
You can't control anyone's actions but you can adjust the way you react to people.
Good luck on the image rehab, if that is indeed the issue.
A
male
reader, Sex_counsellor  +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Don't look too hard, just try and be yourself and the rite guy will come along eventually. You may be unknowingly appearing flirtatious with other males who could be getting the wrong end of the stick and think that you are coming on to them.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Since I are one, I can say with certainty that guys don't know better than to flirt. it's kinda like fishing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): I didn't see that dirtball haha nice spot.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2010): "At first it was fun" There's your answer, you found it fun you played along and now guys think you're like that.
You probably get very physical, affectionate and possibly flirty with these guys, mock fights, wrestling and stuff like that.
The fact you used to find it fun means you played along, that's what we do when we're having fun, probably making sex jokes, being one of the guys and things like that.
This doesn't mean you're leading them on but you're not refusing them this fun either. You may not even kiss them or anything like that but something tells them they can, and that's pretty much always behaviour related.
Now you can deny all of the above, maybe I'm wrong, or maybe you are a little too friendly or cozy with your guy friends. Otherwise why would they think this? Not everyone can have the wrong idea like. It has to come from somewhere, so think about your behaviour, think about the things you think are fun and mean nothing, now think hard is there anything that you do that would give people that impression? For example if you're the girl that always has mess fights with guys, then that would be it because mess fighting is flirting.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 December 2010):
 If you're not a whore, why did you name yourself "cheerwhore23?" O.o LMAO
Just teasing. I'm not sure why you're getting the attention or reputation you are. It's possible someone is spreading rumors, or it's just a possible that they're picking on you because they know it's the opposite of the truth. Like calling a fat guy "tiny."
Because you're attracting the wrong kind of attention, you may have to find a guy you like and take the initiative yourself. Good guys are out there, but at your age most boys are too ruled by their hormones. Keep your eyes open and stick with your morals. The right guy will come along, often when you're not looking.
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A
female
reader, Betty4492 +, writes (22 December 2010):
 Just keep saying no and they will get the hint. When they approach you, just smile, say hi and move on. Don't have long conversations or hang out with guys with girlfriends. Remember, in order to attract a good guy, you have to be a "good" girl. Focus on studying, school activities, dress cute and stay busy with things you like to do. Guys love a girl that's got it together. And for goodness sakes, don't worry about boys!!! You'll have plenty of time for all that nonsense! P.S. I saw a t-shirt in the store the other day."NO BOYFRIEND, NO PROBLEM." Now go have fun!
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