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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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B/f thinks he can control me with sex!
Q. I have a boyfriend that acts like he can control me with his d¤•k, how can I stop him from acting that without giving up sex?...
A. 16 July 2011: In the world I live in, it's the "recepticle" the rules the world no the D???k!... (read in full...)
To give head or not to give head? That is the question!
Q. To give head or to not give head? That is the question. Okay, talk about an icebreaker! Here's my situation. I've been dating a guy officially for a month this coming Saturday. Before officially dating, we casually dated for another month. W...
A. 16 July 2011: Let me think back; it was 1962 1st date,drive in movie...got hot & heavy, she went down on me...we've been married 47 years next month(never too soon but never enough)... (read in full...)
Is Cybersex/Sexting, with someone other than your spouse, cheating?
Q. Is Cybersex/Sexting, with someone other than your spouse, cheating. This is past dirty messages and includes videos of them selves being passed back and forth. I have seen for myself. He says I'm overacting since he's not physically cheating. i ...
A. 14 July 2011: I suspect it may be to you so that's all that matters..why not tell him it makes you feel betrayed?... (read in full...)
How can I stop them calling me this nickname?
Q. Hello - can anyone help with this please? It may seem so stupid but..two of my boyfriend's female friends (who he has known for over 10 years and they are married to his best friends) have started calling me a nickname. It isn't a nasty one, just ...
A. 11 July 2011: That's so juvenile the only way to fight fire is with fire. make up silly nickname for them and reply with,"Hey bo-bo.etc.... (read in full...)
B/f lied about porn plus he watches really violent pornography!
Q. why would a man randomly need skype? When I asked him about it he did not really give me an answer as to why he needs it. Also I just had a talk with my man about how I don't feel comfortable being with a man who watches or is addicted to porn and ...
A. 9 July 2011: NOT normal, you need to find a new bf he's not right in the head if he thinks violence is sexy... (read in full...)
I never have wet dreams. Is that unusual?
Q. I have never in my entire life had a "wet dream." Sometimes, I have dreamed about having sex, but it's not a common dream for me. I once told a friend that I never have these nocturnal emissions and he said I must just wank off too much. Well, I ...
A. 9 July 2011: Sounds kinda different to me but why worry about it? Doesn't sound like a problem. Less sheets to wash right?... (read in full...)
Will I end up lonely ? Should I lower my standards ?
Q. I think I am the most complicated person ever! I'm 25 but have been though more in my life them most people twice my age. Thing is I'm terribly lonely but I have huge issues that stop me finding anyone. I'm a lesbian, I'm more feminine then most ...
A. 8 July 2011: Sad and lonely is a choice not a situation. Just keep looking in the right places... (read in full...)
Why do some guys date pregnant women?
Q. I've heard a few stories of guys dating pregnant women, who are pregnant with someone else's baby. Meaning she got pregnant and then they met/ got back together after she got pregnant. Why would a guy want so much baggage? You would always be put ...
A. 8 July 2011: Pregnant women are incredibly beautiful. in casr you didn't know.... (read in full...)
Am I asking for too much from my husband?
Q. I feel as though I married the wrong guy. Background check. I'm a quiet person, dislike publicity and really wanted someone calm and understanding for a hubby. Don't get wrong he isn't all bad but when he shouts, gets angry over small issues, he's ...
A. 7 July 2011: Oh well, you don't get a "do-over" If we all did we all be in a constant state of flux. I doubt there's a married person out there that doesn't wish he or she could have done better. It's over. Got to live with it or get a divorce.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says I am a bad lover. What can I do?
Q. I am a relatively inexperienced guy when it comes to sex. I have watched a lot of porn. I have read a lot about it both in books and on the Internet. I have friends in alternative lifestyles who exposed me to a lot of things in conversations - ...
A. 6 July 2011: She may have different "expectations" than you have.common thing It might be a reasonable thought to take a break from each other for a month or so.... (read in full...)
I don't think my bf is cheating but why was she so awkward?
Q. I've been dating a guy for nearly a year. We were casual for the first 6 months, both dating other people while we dated each other. About 6 months ago, we started dating more exclusive. During the first few months of commitment, I was sceptical ...
A. 5 July 2011: The hardest emotion(if you can call it that) ia Trust. 'cause you either have it or you don't...and yes it has to be earned but if he's earned it in the past you either hold on to it or wait until he breaks it. Now if he's broken your trust by all ... (read in full...)
Should I lose my virginity if I am ready and if it is starting to make me insecure?
Q. I am not asking this question about losing my virginity for the sake of being ''cool'' and ''popular'' becuase I am honestly an older guy who is far beyond that mindset. I am only considering losing my virginity for my own sanity and not for ...
A. 2 July 2011: Not until you feel it's with the "right one" I mean anyone can go out and "lose it" with a pro for cash...that's easy enough but - Your first will be the one you always visualize when having sex so be very careful you could ruin your future.... (read in full...)
How would we know that we are sexually compatible with our partner???
Q. How would we know that we are sexually compatible with our partner??? ...
A. 2 July 2011: If you have to ask the question,it means you're either afraid of the answer or you're not yet compatible. You'll know when you no longer feel te need to ask the question aloud.... (read in full...)
I feel like I am a bad partner because I lack a sex drive!
Q. my last question was about shemale porn and my husband, and I had wonderful replies so I am back. my new issue is my lack in the bedroom. I got that one of the reasons that he watched (or is still watching, I don't know anymore) the shemale porn was ...
A. 1 July 2011: don't feel bad, I don't know any wives that have a sex drive after the third year of marriage..it's "normal"... (read in full...)
How do I stop from always fighting?
Q. DEAR CUPID and everyone else, I've been with my boyfriend for two years now and things are going great I love him with everything but he sometimes does alot of stupid things that really irk me for example he was suppose to meet me and said he was ...
A. 30 June 2011: IF fighting includes physical abuse then get the heck out and do not look back. If it's just "normal" disagreements then try having mediation periods. Write down your views then read each other's view. Should work, does for us... (read in full...)
Every time I go on a diet I end up putting back on every single pound
Q. I know this isn't a relationship question or anything, but I could do with some help? I'm 20 years old and having some insecurities with myself. I'm 5ft 4 and 10st, a UK 12-14 and hate it. My breasts are a size 34G and and cause me constant pain...
A. 30 June 2011: self analysis is good but reaching unatainable goals is frustrating. If you truely are happy then diet not.... (read in full...)
Are men responsible or women for the fact that women don't look inside themselves for true integrity anymore?
Q. I want some female feedback. I see a lot of women freaking out about their guys interest in porn. I like porn. And if i had a partner I'm sure she would hate it as I would if she liked porn. I tend to like soft porn and i don't get an erection. I ...
A. 30 June 2011: OK, I don't agree with your premise but I think I see where you are going with the thought process. It is entirely posible that we all have lost that ability to self-regulate and look for respect within due to the foibles of society in general. If ... (read in full...)
To threesome or not to threesome...mature answers only please!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over 2 years now. Recently, we've hit a few rough patches and I'm trying to spice up and revive our relationship. One of his fantasies is to have a threesome with a woman that neither one of us ...
A. 30 June 2011: I am 67 yrs mature so here's my answer....you'll regret it for life if you proceed! Three is not a number for love or even "pretend love". That is a mature answer to the question.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to have a threesome with another guy! Help!
Q. i am an asian girl,my bf is western,he's always feel proud of that i am his girl,he said i can make every man horny as he said i am a very sweet girl which i never notice.i really don't care they are horny or not,but recently he seduced me to have a ...
A. 23 June 2011: If you go to the store, you can find single beds,double beds but you will never find a bed made for three.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said I was like a porn director
Q. Hi,this really sounds creapy to me but pls i need ua input. im n relationship for 7months, commited,we taked of moving together,,spent every weekend 2getha. my boyfriend lost his job and his sexual appetite went down which i do understand coz of t...
A. 23 June 2011: I tend to think he's just overheated and not really paying close attention to what he is saying. "Talking dirty" is sometimes a turn on but apparently not to everyone.... (read in full...)
What does her behaviour mean???
Q. During last semester a girl of my class started gazing at me which I noticed two or three times but I just turned my attention to some other work because initially I wasn't interested. Then I and my friend were talking about our group assignment...
A. 23 June 2011: This new"code" language is alien to me but back in my day there was always the "I wonder if she" moments in life that were just as confusing then as it appears to be now. That's what makes the dating thing so fun and exciting. Just go with it a ... (read in full...)
Helppp!!! Should I tell him how I feel before it's too late???
Q. I am seperated from my husband. I have being seeing a guy for two and a half years. He has a partner (he is divorced). He has a partner and has done since I've known him. We have been having a sexual relationship. We were friends before this all ...
A. 23 June 2011: Way too crowded for my liking. I'd "pull the plug" if I were in your spot... (read in full...)
Sex is getting stale with him. How can we change this?
Q. I love my boyfriend of 3 years very much. We have sex quite regularly, usually whenever we see each other. However, I am finding it's becoming quite stale and it doesn't really excite me anymore. What can I/we do to change it? I've tried new ...
A. 23 June 2011: Try role playing..you become a different person for a day then he does. you can be the nieghborhood slut once and he's the delivery man..you know role playing... (read in full...)
Do you ever have sex like a porn star???
Q. Just out of curiosity, do you ever have sex like a pornstar? If so, how often? All the time? Once in a while? Special occasions? (And by pornstar sex, I'm talking about stuff you would expect to see in a fairly vanilla porn video - no insane, dem...
A. 23 June 2011: No! the stuff you see in porn is vapor---it's all a figment of imagination- actually porn stars dislike sex as much as other people do.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's nail polish turns me on, is it normal thing?
Q. I have this beautiful girlfriend for the last four years and everything seems to be going perfect for us. But I have a this strange behavior that whenever she puts on sort of a dark-red color nail polish , it turns me on big time and I feel lik...
A. 22 June 2011: Yeah that be not normal unless you consider fetish behavior to be normal.... (read in full...)
How can I get my mum to stop opening my mail?
Q. Ok so here's my problem, I'm 21 years old and have lived away from home for about 4 years, working full time. This year I decided to go back into education so moved back home during term time. I come from a good family, however my mum is kind of ...
A. 22 June 2011: IF she is "unstble" as you describe...I think I would get a post office box and divert the mail from the area of her self identified control rather than confront her, go around the problem.... (read in full...)
How can I build a happy marriage when its so one sided? I feel so hurt and alone.
Q. I'm having problems with my husband. He makes very little effort at all. His whole life revolves around going to work, coming home and being with our kids, working on his car, the yard and renovating the house and in the evening its a toss up ...
A. 22 June 2011: You may want to consider an exit strategy. If a man is that derilict in his his narraige, he may not feel he's married in the classic sense. He probsbly thinks his finacial support is the extent of his "duties" as a husband. If that's the case ... (read in full...)
I know I should wait to have sex, but I think I'm ready.....is this the right choice?
Q. im 14 and like other teen girls i think about sex A LOT and i think im ready to have sex with my boyfriend but im scared of the pain or what could happen if we (Im) not carefull......you might think "oh all he wants is sex" not really i told him i ...
A. 20 June 2011: Think about it this way; are you ready to have a baby? are you ready to contract AIDS? Are you ready to give up what your husband-to-be later on will expect? And if you're not a virgin upon marraige what will yo tell him? " Oh gee well, I was ... (read in full...)
My husband shows no love towards me
Q. Hello all, my husband have been treating me very bad he has hitted me a few times and called me names that is too awfull to mention. The thing is im not sure if i feel the same about him anymore, he treats me different towards other women. He will ...
A. 18 June 2011: Any "man" that hits his wife ought to be beat to within an inch of his life. There is NO excuse for hitting a wife. You need to leave him as soon as possible, it will only get worse if you don't.... (read in full...)
Am I being a pest to my married friend?
Q. I am reasonably friendly with a female work colleague and we do tend to get on well and have good conversations, saying hello and smiling at each other at work, and occasionally having the odd short discussion. She always smiles when we do run i...
A. 15 June 2011: I think generally speaking women espeially married women would just like to be left alone. They assume everyone is hitting on them and react accordingly. I'd leave her lone rather than question the pestering bit at all.... (read in full...)
28 years later and I want to know what her sexual past was
Q. hi i have been married to a wonderful woman for 28 years. i met her when she was 16 and i was 20. i was with prostitutes from 18 till before i met her. i could not have sex with girls i went to school with and take what did not belong to me,so i ...
A. 12 June 2011: And so the sordid details will make you pop out of your funk? Let sleeping dogs lie. Think about the present and the future. The past is overi'd recomend you look up the lyrics to 'Dream On" by Aerosmith and live by them. there is a ton of ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my bestfriend and I don't know how to tell him!!
Q. Right to the point, im in love with my bestfriend and i dont know how to tell him!! or rather im scared to lose him. lets say my bestfriends name is sean. sean and i met around 8 months ago when both of us had just got out of bad relationships. we ...
A. 12 June 2011: In life, you're darned lucky to have a bestfriend that happens to alson end up being your spouse. Think about it and wonder what your life will be if you never say anything?barren and unfullfilled?... (read in full...)
How long should I wait before asking another girl out?
Q. I broke up with my gf on Friday and I just wanted some peoples opinion on how long should I wait before i ask another girl out. I wasn't going to do it straight away but some others opinions please?...
A. 12 June 2011: 24 hours seems like a good round number. I didn't know there was a "correct" time lapse; I rember when I was a kid( amillion years ago) and my 'loveofmy life called to give me my walking papers. The last thing on my mind was protocal on how long ... (read in full...)
How to tell my kids? I am a woman who wants to be in a relationship with another woman?
Q. I need some help!!! I am 32yrs old have 3 beautiful children and i am inlove with a woman who is my bestfriend... I know the feelings are mutual, I know they are real...What I don't know is how to tell my kids b/c I want to spend the rest of my life ...
A. 11 June 2011: Ouch! There is not going to be a calm future in the family. Unless they are super liberal I think you may have an identity problem with them. Their worlds are going to be turned inside out. Just keeping it real. good luck... (read in full...)
How do you keep your sex life exciting once you have moved in with your partner?
Q. Hey, I'd love some advice on how to keep my relationship fresh and stave off boredom or complacency please :) I've been with my gorgeous bf for 8 months, love him, love spending time with him, and we have a great sex life. He has said he'd like us ...
A. 10 June 2011: role playing has an endless variety of really hot prospects.you know; one day you play the part of a maid he's the client. next dasy you're a nurse,he's a patient with E.D. and you are going to "cure" him. then he's the good looking delivery guy ... (read in full...)
Fiance picking porn over me. Why is this?
Q. So my finace hasent had sex with me in 4 months. I catch him allthe time watching porn getting off but he wont sleep with me. He saids hes just not in the mood,before wr had sex a few times a day. Then I had a baby and in went to once a week now ...
A. 10 June 2011: I doubt the weight has anything to do with it. I know for me it was all about worry that that area had been so traumatized, I was concerned about her pain levels, so I chose to abstain. Maybe he's concerned you will be hurt ?... (read in full...)
Holiday together or separately, your thoughts please?
Q. OK. So my bf and I have taken two weeks off annual leave in the summer, August. He is fiercely independent and I always go for these types so I must like it. I couldn’t bear a guy who was needy. Anyway, we recently spent two whole weekends ...
A. 10 June 2011: Our son and his wife take seperate vacations every year...seems to work just fine. I wish I could do that, we take No vactions at all so it's not an issue. Who can afford a vacation anymore?... (read in full...)
I'm worried that my husband doesn't find me attractive!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 26 years. He just turned 49 and I am 48. In the begging it was very nice. We have 3 beautiful girls. But now , we hardly ever have sex. . He does not seem interested even though we are alone,and we...
A. 10 June 2011: I've been married 47 years and I still think my wife is more beutiful than any other women.(I think most husbands feel the same-no not about my wife theirs) It sounds like he's taking what can be called an "intimacy holiday". We husbands don't stop ... (read in full...)
If I use a vibrator does it mean I'm no longer a virgin?
Q. Ok, this might sound obseen but i ought too ask, ive recently brought a virating 80mm bullet with some lube! now im a 20 year old virgin, if i incert this into my vigina this shouldnt pop my "cherry" right? i get this must sound stupid but i dont ...
A. 10 June 2011: Your "bullet" can be held back for shallow penetrations and the "precious" cherry won't get popped but if you get carried away you may want to just plunge it in all the way. why not just get a smaller vibrator?... (read in full...)
Why is my husband looking at porn instead of me?
Q. I recently caught my husband of 4 years looking at pornography on the internet. He admitted to having done this for the entire length of our relationship...over 8 years in all...and even from the time he was a teenager...he is several years older ...
A. 9 June 2011: Maybe you do look better but looks are not what the excitement of porn is about! It's all about the activities...You could put a gunny sack over their faces we'd still look. pretty or skanky it doesn't matter. Watch what they do not how they look.... (read in full...)
Can your movements be tracked by your mobile phone, and how is it done?
Q. This issue has been playing on my mind..... The question is.... Can your movements be tracked by your mobile phone. And how is it done. Can you tell if your has been tracked. I think am sounding a bit paranoid here. But a friend recently that her...
A. 9 June 2011: It's an urban myth! You have GPS capability and if your phone is on you can be traced by tower "pinging" You've seen it on TV shows over and over. If you want to "hide" turn your phone off and leave it home.... (read in full...)
Why is my husband looking at porn instead of me?
Q. I recently caught my husband of 4 years looking at pornography on the internet. He admitted to having done this for the entire length of our relationship...over 8 years in all...and even from the time he was a teenager...he is several years older ...
A. 13 May 2011: The male appetrite is never satisfied. Oddly enough, you could be the best looking woman on the planet earth and he(or any other man for that matter) would still want to "take a peek at the other things going on in the world. Sorry, just being ... (read in full...)
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