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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Discovered a girl I liked is a sociopath. What do I do now?
Q. I know today people throw around these terms too much like narcissist, sociopath, borderline, et cetera, but....I have come to believe strongly that a girl I have liked for a very long time is likely a sociopath. I have known her a while. She's v...
A. 26 April 2011: your self-defense mechanisms will help guide you out of this mess. trust your gut so to speak. OR you can see if she'll go to a "shrink" not that that's an answer but it might help define the issues more clearly.... (read in full...)
After I moved thousands of miles to be with him he cheated on me with my co-worker!
Q. I don't know where to turn. Six years ago I met a man online, after talking for over a year online, I went to visit him and fell in love. I packed my things and moved from Pennsylvania to Alaska for him. I gave up everything adn our life together ...
A. 26 April 2011: Talk about a kick in the private parts, i think it's probably for the best though you can now go about your own life with this in your rear-view mirror. Good luck and run like H e double L.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my cousin how I feel?
Q. Well I'm a 14 Year Old Kid Now (teenager) i have this cousin who i Have a HUGE Crush on since i was about 5 or something! yes that long. so anyway , i kinda flirt with him , we make eye contact often and we have broken the touch barrier , once...
A. 26 April 2011: Not unusual at all to have feelings for cousins since they "seem" to be" removed enough from being close kin BUT the DNA won't lie. You might want to find an alternate path for your feelings . This isn't healthy to follow through with. kin is kin ... (read in full...)
How do I get more passion from him?
Q. The sex is great, but he's a horrible kisser! I've tried teaching him, it'll last one day, then he goes back to peaking me on the lips. How do I get more passion from him without the alcohol?...
A. 26 April 2011: Kissing is a hard lesson to learn for a guy,sorry it just is we're not sure of anything when it comes to what the girl "wants" You gals are just a dog-gone mystery. Drinks make everything easy 'cause we know even less then so it kinda either ... (read in full...)
What are the chances of getting pregnant through fingering?
Q. My boyfriend and I had sex the first time together last weekend. We were quite drunk and I don't remember a lot about it. Last night he confessed that he was really worried as he remembered fingering me with cum on his hands. We used a condom but ...
A. 20 February 2011: It only takes one strong swimmer out of the billions to "make it home" You need to be MUCH more careful!... (read in full...)
How can I fight the urge of sleeping with prostitutes?
Q. I am getting well into my 20's and I have no girlfriend and have fallen into a bad habit of sleeping with prostitues again. I am genuinely quite a sensible person I do not like doing this at the risk of cathing an STD, I always wear protection but ...
A. 20 February 2011: It's russian roulette! One morning you WILL wake up and say,"Oh me, i wish I'd not done it with that last on!" Yeah low self-esteme is right..more like a eath wish..go visit an aids patient, you'll quit!... (read in full...)
I get turned on by different types of porn?
Q. Hey guys, basically i am concerned about my mental health as recently i have been thinking about all the porn i have viewed in my lifetime im 19 and started watching it when i was 13, basically i have gone through a variety of it some of which is ...
A. 18 February 2011: It's normal except the S&M stuff(pain is not a turn on) don't worry, you're not abnormal to be hyper-curious at a young age...just stay away from the pain inducing crap or bondage junk..it'll warep your brain.... (read in full...)
This guy is a jerk and I am scared. What should I do?
Q. I've been dating a 11th grader since yesterday, and now he's been telling people he's going to have sex with me, like I'm a sex trophy to him. I never even had my first kiss and I'm a virgin the most i've ever done with a guy was hug, until he came...
A. 18 February 2011: I'll tell you like you were my own granddaughter...RUN! this boy is Trouble with a capital T...trust your gut instinct-it is a survival mechanism. good luck.... (read in full...)
She's keeping me at arm's length. am I wasting my time?
Q. I am 41 and I am sort of seeing a 24 year old woman. We both have feeling for each other, but she's scared to be comitted. She says she's scared she'll hurt me, or if things didn't work out that it would be hard to face each other in work. She'...
A. 15 February 2011: Pardon my ignorance but I fail to see the "problem" It sounds like you're both very content. You can't be "wasting your time" if you are content and she's happy too. Re-evaluate the question and maybe you'll see the answer as being self-evident. ... (read in full...)
Did he have an affair and can we ever get past it?
Q. Did my husband have an affair? I have been married for 17 years this year.Our sex life for the last 10 years had been almost non existant. It all came to a head about 2 years ago. My husband was being flirty with a work colleague and going out wi...
A. 13 February 2011: Not having sex is way normal(I'm told by my wife) just make this the new normal and breathe.... (read in full...)
I'm not sure why my girlfriend won't swallow!
Q. My girlfriend won't swallow during oral sex, yet she has in previous relationships, in fact she said she used to like it. I'd really like her to do it to me. Why won't she? Can she really like it with past partners? Can I make it taste better?...
A. 13 February 2011: yeah, mix it with her drippings and both of you go down on each other it's messy but yummy.... (read in full...)
Hundreds of porn sites in one week on his computer!
Q. I posted earlier but cannot find where it went. I couldn't help myself, after seeing just a few porn websites on my boyfriends history, I searched through the rest of his history and there are literally hundreds of porn sites and google searches ...
A. 13 February 2011: Yes it'd normal especially since he's got all that time on his hands (being underemployed) If he spent as much time looking for work as he does rubbing the johnson, he'd be employed and you could sell the computer.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's obsession with young lap dancers!
Q. My boyfriend goes to lap dancers clubs often with his mates. He says he goes there for the girls. I told him I do not like it that he pays these women, I do not like him going there, as I see it as his way of ogling young women in nudity, he...
A. 13 February 2011: No you sound totally reasonable-it's your boy that sounds "out there'If you were giving lap dances to anon males in dimly lit bars would he approve/ i thought not.... (read in full...)
Help me understand his mind!!!
Q. Dear Cupids: I have been with my man for three years this March and we've been through more than most couples I know... I have always known about his hyper-testosterone and do my best to keep up with him and please him so he does not stray....
A. 13 February 2011: Not an expert on ALL men's minds but the few I've grown up with and been close to over the years have similar thought patterns as mine so let me take a stab at this(no pun intended). As I'm sure you know men are visual creatures.i.e, the sight of a ... (read in full...)
There's always a reason not to have sex with my wife!
Q. So I am having trouble approaching the lack of sex that my wife and I have been experiencing. I am in the mood almost every night (except if I masturbated 1-2 days before, in those cases I could take it or leave it. Or if she is wearing her big ...
A. 12 February 2011: Well, You have come to the point in life where you realize men need sex,women needs hugs. Congradulations, I know it's a weird point in life to reach and it is frustrating but it's reality so just hold her tight and be content in that you have ... (read in full...)
He gets SOOO angry! Is this normal?
Q. My boyfriend grabbed my head and slammed it against the door. He said that I wouldn't shut up (we were having an argument) and that because I followed him through the house (I was trying to get him to talk / listen) then I tip him over the edge and ...
A. 10 February 2011: Go as fast as you can...unfortunately, You've gotten mixed up with a person that will just as soon kill you as look at you. Men that hit women for ANY reason are not men, they are cowardly fools. Run!... (read in full...)
I cheated on my girlfriend with a kiss. Should I tell her?
Q. i cheated on my girlfriend, it was only a kiss, i know its wrong still yes, i'm not on here looking to be judged, what i want to know is, should i tell her, she'll be destroyed, it was only a kiss and she's cheated on me a few times before in the ...
A. 8 February 2011: Well, would you want her to tell you if she'd ONLY kissed someone else? If yes,what would you do?... (read in full...)
My husband wants me to be his master but I don't know what to do!
Q. My husband wants me to be his master during sex and domineer him using my imagination for the things I want him to do but my imagination does'nt seen to want to play what can I do? He has wanted this for years and I don't seem to be able to get it ...
A. 8 February 2011: I don't blame you for your confusion, "Abnormal" things confuse us all. hang in there..if it still doesn't work out find him a boyfriend.... (read in full...)
I have having the lights on while having sex
Q. I wont let my Fiance keep the lights on during sex and he loves me and never complains but i am too insecure because of my body because i am fat and big is beautiful but i have like cottage cheese looking fat, oh anyways TMI sorry my Q is how can i ...
A. 6 February 2011: You have probably heard the expression "Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" Well, it's true and your self image is typical. Most everyone thinks their body is not too pretty...try wearing a blindfold if you won't adapt. Remember first you're ... (read in full...)
No sex and worried my girlfriend wants to cheat on me
Q. Hi guys and gals. alright so where to start.Ive been in a relationship for a lil over 4 years now, it used to be great but now i have a few concerns/issues i was hoping to get some feedback for. *facts* me and my gf have had sex before. i...
A. 6 February 2011: I think you can rule out ever having sex with this gal ever again and start from there. There is a "relationship" around every bend in the road. If I were you I'd head on down that road.Sorry probably not what you wanted to hear but it's what I ... (read in full...)
Can I get an STD from performing oral sex on my virgin boyfriend?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have never had any sexual encounters if any kind. Could either of us get an std from unprotected oral sex?...
A. 5 February 2011: Yep!sadly you can. I'd avoid ANY kind of contact if you even suspect an STD by the other... (read in full...)
Is he serious about me? Or does he just want to get laid?
Q. I've been seeing this guy on and off... It all started off when we ended up kissing on his birthday (we were best friends)...and the kiss was so good that we ended up getting frisky a couple of times after that. I fell for him...and even told...
A. 5 February 2011: It's hard to tell; there's not enough information to make a real good guess...but in either event ...he wants to get laid. That would be the one constant you can rely on.... (read in full...)
My man is very selfish in the bedroom
Q. Ok? Another question. My man is very selfish in the bedroom. He never touches me in any place. He doesnt do anything dirty. He doesnt do oral, only like once a week and i have to beg for that. He never touches my vagina in any way. LIke he thinks ...
A. 4 February 2011: I note you equate oral with doing something dirty? If you think that he may feel that(subconciously) It isn't dirty it's just different.Keep begging for it,he'll get the hang of it soon and it'll become second nature to go down on you. we men ... (read in full...)
My online lover said if I took the job that would be the end of us!
Q. Dear Aunts, So here's the story: I met this guy online a year ago and it started off with a friendship. He was a bit loner and so opened up to me when we first met. He talked about his bad childhood, his life, and even his dreams about meeting...
A. 4 February 2011: Getting advice on-line is weird to begin with(isn't it?) so grain of salt as they say.... (read in full...)
Sex is virtually nonexistent in our relationship!
Q. I have been with this girl for 4 years. It was wild at first but then after the first 2 years it slowly started going the other way. For the last 2 years we have grown apart and hardly see each other, once a week, or twice if I'm lucky, and its ...
A. 4 February 2011: It's more the norm than the exception...afraid you'll have to get used to it buddy, Female hormones (or something like that) go away too soon for our liking. Get used to cuddling(that's your new "sex life" Join the millions of us out here ... (read in full...)
If I didn't really like oral, how am I going to like intercourse?
Q. dear cupid, soo, this might seem like a really weird question, but it's something that really bugs me and that i actually catch myself thinking about quite a bit. i've received oral sex from two other guys...and to be completely honest, i wasn't...
A. 2 February 2011: You probably won't like it at all if you're like most women you'll just 'tolerate' it until it's over then breath a sigh of relief and dream up excuses for the next time.... (read in full...)
She doesn't show me any affection when I try to have sex with her!
Q. me and my girl have been together for 7 years and she dont show me any affection when i try to have sex with her it's always a problem. what do that mean?...
A. 2 February 2011: What it means is; she doesn't want to have sex. Just live with it and find release elsewhere. She may still have deeo feelings for you but unlike men love doesn't equal sex when it comes to the female vision.... (read in full...)
I think she has lost her feelings for me because of our sex life!
Q. im married for 7 yrs and i dont know whats wrong with my wife,i think im loosing her and any advise would be appreciated please .since we met she had a lot of sex eperiance and i had none,i was married before her but my ex and me didnt know ...
A. 2 February 2011: Sorry my young friend but that's practically normal. Women are way different than men. We have a 'need' for sex women just want hugs and kisses after a few years. They hormones dry up or something...now they'll deny it but women just don't need ... (read in full...)
I want to be married soon, but we're in 2 different life stages. What should I do?
Q. iam 24 and have a diploma and studying further. my girlfriend is 17 and still doing secondary education.iam planning to have a wife in early 2013. so do these differnces matter in a marriage life?what if she is selected for university studies,should ...
A. 2 February 2011: If you are living a scheduled existance, I feel sad for you but don't drag another into your wierd lifestyle. Love isn't scheduled... (read in full...)
Oral sex makes me sick!
Q. dear readers, i have been going out with my boyfriend for almost three years now and we have done almost everything sexually. we seem pretty good at it by now but one thing always plays at my mind.every time i give him a blow job he tries to puch...
A. 1 February 2011: From my point of view a BJ is great even if done "shallow" he should have No problems at all, for variety,though a perfect hand job is just as good(sometimes better) if acompanied with oral stimulation. Lucky dude... (read in full...)
What is the secret to being happy?
Q. Hey everyone, I have a question I'd appreciate your honest answer to. How many of you are truly happy in your lives? If so, what are your lives like and what's most important to you? What do you think the secret is to being HAPPY? How...
A. 31 January 2011: I'm not sure there's a secret to being happy since being happy is such a vauge term. You can be content by looking around you and seeing how screwded up the rest of the world is compaired to you but happy might be hearing a funny joke while you're ... (read in full...)
I'm worried my husband will cheat on his business trip. How can I learn to trust him?
Q. My husband had sex with a prostitute while on a business trip, and once he returned he confessed to me and said he is guity. However, I cannot come to terms with this yet. It's been 2 years, he has been avoiding going to business trips, but now he c...
A. 30 January 2011: Short of going with him, you might try giving him a chance to earn back the trust he tossed away. Just grit your teeth, hope for the best but plan for the worst. You may want to think about some "kinky" favors for when he gets home so in the ... (read in full...)
I love my hometown so much I do not want to leave it, but there's no career opportunities for me here. Is it silly to stay even though?
Q. Hi there, I'm in my late twenties and I value my lifestyle possibly too much. I live in a small city that, to me, has everything. We're five minutes away from several beaches, forrests, tramping and hiking spots and one of the most beautiful na...
A. 30 January 2011: I left my hometown to go off to college and have regretted it ever since. No job oportunities there either, just a laid back beauty unparalled anywhere on the planet. Kailua, Oahu, Hawaii. It's too expensive now to ever dream of living there. ... (read in full...)
I feel I'm married to the wrong person!
Q. I am 36 and been married for more than 2 years. I feel I married the wrong person. From marriage day she just started being rude to me. As if she thinks she has finally trapped me and therefore can do whatever she likes. She wants to live lavishly ...
A. 24 January 2011: Being married for the sake of the child is motivation enough to try to work it out. contrary to what folks try to say that ,"Oh kids can take it, they're tough!" It is not true. Children from a "broken" marraige never get over it. For the kid's ... (read in full...)
Does being really good in bed make you a hoe?
Q. The man that I am seeing has constantly accused me of cheating when my loyalty towards him has only been solid and faithful. I believe it is his own insecurities that make him act the way he does at times. Whenever he goes out drinking he tell...
A. 21 January 2011: A man should treasure someone like you that likes to experiment. Explain it to him Once and for all that you're just experimenting to make him feel wonderful. If he won't buy it then look elsewhere. Theere are a ton of guys out there that would ... (read in full...)
25, virgin, and don't want to scare guys away
Q. So I am going to be 25 and I am a virgin. It's by choice for the most part .. The problem is I'm very self conscious about myself .. I want to be with someone but because I'm not experienced it makes me even more self conscious ! I'm to afraid to ...
A. 21 January 2011: Having insecurities is one thing--feelings of insecurity because you're a virgin are quite different. If it's the later then get over yourself. Men would much rather be around a virgin than a tramp.... (read in full...)
He says he loves me, but he never wants sex!
Q. My husband lost sexual desire 5 years ago. He says he loves me. But he never wants sex. When we have sex, he loses his erection in seconds. Specially ,after he is kissing and stimulating me. I;m completely confused. We had been at doctors several ...
A. 20 January 2011: Believe or not the male sex drive begins to wane at age 40. I knoe this thrills most wives in that they can easily out wait this phenom. and be free of "wifely duties "as they put it.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is disinterested in sex, maybe porn is the root of the problem?
Q. My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex as often as we used to. We used to have sex maybe 3-4 times a week. Now... sometimes it's about twice a month. He always says that he just doesn't feel like it or the "chase" isn't there anymore because I'm ...
A. 20 January 2011: Funny, In the world I gre up in, women would be thrilled to death to find a way to NOT ave to have sex, Now it sounds like the tide has turned.... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I cheated on her with over 30 prostitutes?
Q. I'm 35, my wife 36, we have 2 kids, married for 7 years. Before our kids born we have really great relationship and have sex every day. Sine she got pregnant the first kid her interest for sex declined sharply. No matter what I tried the most we can ...
A. 19 January 2011: To what end? to hurt her or drive her away? Bite your tounge and try to honor your bvows for a change.... (read in full...)
My partner wants to watch me have sex with another man. I'd rather have sex with me ex and tape it!
Q. I am currently in an open relationship and my partner said he wants me have sex with another man while he watches,i am very doubtful about doing this as it may end the good thing we both share.i want to suggest that he and i watch a homemade movie ...
A. 19 January 2011: There is no marraige bed on planet earth that is big enough for more than two...Exced that number and you'll die of a broken heart.... (read in full...)
My wife told me how much she liked having sex with her ex!
Q. Before my wife and I were together, she had a boyfriend that she lost her virginity to (at 16). She really liked him. She had a relationship with him that included regular sex, then after breaking up got back together after a couple of months ...
A. 19 January 2011: Been there -done that, the feeling of empty never goes away(47 yrs of marraige to one like yours)... (read in full...)
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