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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Do I need to continue or end it?
Q. Hello there! Do I need to continue or end it? We've been together for 3 years. People always told me that he's cheating on me, but I don't mind because I know he's into me. That time I don't believe there are people like that who really cheats their ...
A. 19 January 2012: You may never know for sure but the suspision is enough for you to act positively in your own defense. Why wait for the possible pain of confirmation?... (read in full...)
Are there women and men that think (like me) that oral sex is not romantic ?
Q. u can`t feel the emotional connection with ur lover , i know that it feels good but not that good to me i`d rather have sex i`m talking about a loving,tender relathionship not a one night stand u can`t look in their eyes and feel the connect...
A. 19 January 2012: Well of course not. Oral sex isn't even supposed o pretend to be "romantic" by nature it's raw sex with only pleasure as a goal.... (read in full...)
How can I tell this teacher that I respect and appreciate what he does for my class?
Q. Hey guys, just a quick one :) There is a teacher (no, I don't fancy him/ love him etc) but I do really appreciate him. He is such a lovely guy even in class and we have had a few out of class discussions. We get on well, but I am nothing special ...
A. 19 January 2012: You'll want to wait until the year is almost over so as to not appear to be pandering, then; a very simple note saying you hope the next teacher you have challenges your mind like he/she has. The words challenge and iluminate are operative terms ... (read in full...)
Can all women have squirting orgasms?
Q. I'm in my early 40's and my question is about squirting orgasms, which I have never had. I have had a vaginal orgasm only twice, both on my own. Most of my orgasms are clitoral and extremely satisfying. Do you think it is true that every woman...
A. 18 January 2012: I've NEVER known of tyhis happening except in porn and then I'm very suspect as to the reality of the videos.... (read in full...)
Is masturbation worth doing?
Q. I'm 20 years old and I'm still a virgin in every way. Everyone I know masturbates,but for some reason that really freaks me out. The thought of it makes me feel guilty for some reason. How do you even do it? I know that sounds silly, but seriously. ...
A. 18 January 2012: It's only "worth it" if you want to experience a mind blowing pleasure that ripples through your body. If you're not into pleasure then, skip it.... (read in full...)
Why do guys act hot and cold? What's the point?
Q. I don't get why guys act hot and cold. What is the point of being like this? Is this not a form of mind games? Don't get me wrong, I know it's just not guys who act hot and cold but women do it too. I just get confused when this happens though :...
A. 18 January 2012: My "semi-educated' guess is; When hot he's wanting to seduce you...when cold, he's realizing the seduction failed and is the equivelant of pouting about it.... (read in full...)
Have sex with ex while she with another man what does that mean
Q. Hey guys, need some help, Me and my gf of 3 years recently split up and we stil talk and act like we r stil an item, we chat every day and nite, problem is she has got a bf. But she stops at myn and we have sex, (while she is in a relation...
A. 12 January 2012: you may want to hope he has no STD problems that will migrate your way.... (read in full...)
Should I invite my crush to my friend's party? He has a GF!
Q. Well, it's more like a small gathering at my apartment but I'm not so sure if I should invite my crush over. We work together; however, we never get to hang outside of work. I just wanna get to know him better. However, HE DOES HAVE A GF....So...
A. 9 January 2012: Never poke a sleeping dog with a stick...are you looking for a huge drama? I can't see why you'd even consider a thing like this. That would be just plain mean and wierd to promote a confrontation for the fun of it.... (read in full...)
Could my friend's mom be interested in me?
Q. For a while now, iv been wanting to have sex with my girl friends mom (not my partner but a really close friend.) Me and the girl had sex before but now were just friends which is really weird because I never thought it could happen. But everytime ...
A. 9 January 2012: I doubt that a women twice your age is "coming on to you" If anything she's either just a really nice person,OR, she's testing you to see how creepy you really are.... (read in full...)
How do I answer his question? I don't know what he meant
Q. Hello, ok I was asked this question by a guy whoo recently got in contact and we have been messaging and he asked me this question and I was wondering if I can have some advise on what he's asking..ok the question is; are you inlove in life? Is he ...
A. 9 January 2012: There's a leading question if I ever heard one..to me it sounds kind of creepy. If you want to persue this further, just reply with."Could you be more vauge?"... (read in full...)
What is worse: His age difference or his lie?
Q. My BF says he is 38, but i found out he is 45. And i'm 27. Should the lie or the big age difference bother me? Is it too much of a difference? We are planning to take the r/ship to the next level....
A. 6 January 2012: The lie is important. why the heck lie about something so trivial as age?... (read in full...)
She's 14. So how do I get over her? and just forget?
Q. hi, so im having trouble getting over this girl... the more i think about her the more attracted i am to her. she 14 im 18 she added me as a friend on facebook cos she's mates with my brother, got talking flriting and that, once she was so upset...
A. 6 January 2012: Well, sometimes you never get over someone, but you learn to live on for the sake of living on. A.Don't dwell on it and stay away from Facebook. and B. find another girl to focus on(there are millions out there). C. Don't fall for the next one so ... (read in full...)
He calls me names and gets mad at me and treats me bad. How can I fix this? or Stop him doing this?.
Q. Dear cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year, and its been the best time in my entire life, i lovvve him sooo much. But i have a problem, he treats me very bad sometimes and calls me names and all that. Also he gets mad a...
A. 6 January 2012: You are mistaking this relationship for love, it can't be love if one is disrespectfull of the other(in any way) he should cherish the ground you walk on before you 'love' him. If he doesn't worship you then it aint love it's something else and you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats me like crap but I can't leave him?
Q. So I been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs. At first he was so sweet with me but then a year later everything started, on a sunday we were suppost to go out so I kept calling him and a girl answers me and says she is his girlfriend that they were at a ...
A. 6 January 2012: If you have no self respect at all then hang in there until it gets violent and he begins to really treat you badly. But if you have an ounce of self rspect then pack up and move on.anyone that treats you like you say does not deserve you!... (read in full...)
What's the solution to her lack of interest in sex?
Q. I am 28 years old and my wife is 29 years old . its been just one yesr since we got married and we have no kids. My problem is that my wife is not at all intersted in sex. Before Our marriage she was always excited about sex but now she never wants ...
A. 6 January 2012: It's an age-old problem and no "good" answer is out there so I think you'll just have to join the rest of us husbands that go."What is the deal?" Hormones are most likely involved but not many wives that I know of will take them for very long ... (read in full...)
What do I need to be told? What lessons do I need to learn? I have a huge Teacher crush.
Q. Hi I'm 14 years old...ever since this school year started i met my social studies teacher, and I'm heavily in love with him. I totally understand this is wrong and those of you who think so i won't listen to you so don't bother. Anyway he ...
A. 6 January 2012: What you need to be told is not what you want to hear,but here goes; "You're 14, get a grip! life is too short to be trying to do any kind of fast-forward to adulthood, relax and enjoy youth. You will only be young once, live every minute of it as ... (read in full...)
My mom will not help. How old do I need to be to get birth control without a parents permission and without prescription?
Q. I was just curious about how old i have to be to get birth control without a parents permission or without prescription. I'm 14 now, and i know i shouldn't be on it now, but it's not what you think. I have horrible cramps to the point that i stay ...
A. 6 January 2012: OK. I'm not going to play this game..14 is too young to be needing birth control so just skip the whole thing and wait until you're old enough to make rational decisions. I know you don't want to hear that but...that's keeping it real as the kids ... (read in full...)
Are a drunk man's words a sober man's thoughts?
Q. Hi all is this saying true a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts I was wondering because when my fwb is drunk he says things to me loving boyfriendy things and when he is sober he is different still cuddly but he doesn't say these things I ...
A. 6 January 2012: I supose it would depend on just how drunk the person was.I've said some pretty stupid things when I was REAL drunk but some profoundly intamate things when I was just a little bit tipsy.... (read in full...)
How do I know whether to trust and believe him? Surely it is not just sex between us?
Q. Okay, so I have been in an emotionally, financially and physically abusive marriage with a man addicted to drugs. I am in college and should be graduating with my degree in just a few months. My intent has been to file for divorce once I am work...
A. 6 January 2012: t sounds like you are both in a "dangereous" place emotionally. Maybe an agreed upon time period should be observed before any real comitments should be talked about.... (read in full...)
Our texting has faltered. Am I worried without good reason? He wants to wait until his surgery before he sees me again.
Q. i have been talking with a guy for a few week and he was calling and/or texting daily and then we had a little conversation about him not saying sexual things to me i told him it was a little innapropriate at this point and then he said he was hurt ...
A. 6 January 2012: Wait til he has his surgery then see how things go. This is his time pre-op is a scary time. post-op can be a tortoure zone depending on how things go. If it was you having surgery(any kind of surgery) you'd want a period of time to just be "alone" ... (read in full...)
Any advice on dealing with rejection? And how to hold out hope that one day I will find someone?
Q. I'm feeling a bit sad about the possibility of being rejected by someone who I was convinced that was interested in me. I posted a question on here asking if people agreed with me that the fact that he has not replied to a message I sent him mean...
A. 5 January 2012: The most frightening thing to a man is a woman that appears to come on too strong. I don't know if that's the case here(probably not since you sound mature enough to know that) but IF a guy feels or even imagines he's about to be swept away he may ... (read in full...)
Should I move on? Was he using me? Need advice about my ex!
Q. hey everyone...i have been really upset for the last few days :'( I was with this guy for nine months but he also has another girlfriend, when we wee together we used to meet up twice a week for a catch up and a cuddle, a few days we had sex but ...
A. 3 January 2012: sounds like he saw you as a friend with 'benifits" so i guess you should move on down the road. I'd suggest your next bf be monogomous first though.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my body is strange and a guy won't like it
Q. I'm 15 and my vagina lips and labia hang farther down than most girls. I've read about this online because of my insecurities... And so far, most of the results say that it's normal. But i'm still scared that I will be judged for it (I refuse to ...
A. 2 January 2012: Down South the saying goes:"There's 2 kinds of pussy; good ol' big-uns and Big ol' good ones!" Don't worry about it it's that much more to suck on. Guys love long lips... (read in full...)
Am I just an ego boost for him or does he have feelings for me?
Q. I have a crush on a guy at work. He's married but I don't know if he's happy. His wife is really beautiful and classy but he rarely ever talks about her. At work he always sits next to me when we're in meetings; he compliments me frequently on my ...
A. 31 December 2011: yes..our egos get a rush when any women pays attention to us(men) It's VERY confusing tous and should not be continued unless you want to mess up his relationship with his wife. I wish you'd ignor him for a week or two then asses the situation... (read in full...)
How do you french kiss without biting someone's tongue?
Q. Hi... I have problem... I cant french kiss to save my life... I jus cnt i end up biting mens toungue. Ths has been a c0nstant problem in all of my rlti0nships. Plz help...
A. 28 December 2011: Simple physics explains it-don't bite down..just relax... (read in full...)
Should a FWB be persistent?
Q. Is it normal for a guy who wants fwb to be persistent ?. He says he thinks i am really good looking, but i don't think i am that attractive, to be honest. I'm also a shy person, so i don't understand why he doesn't want an fwb who is more outgoing. ...
A. 28 December 2011: FWB?????... (read in full...)
Do guys find black hair attractive in girls?
Q. i know this is a random question but i just want to see what everyones opinion was, mostly from a guys perspective. Of course a lot of guys like or "love" blondes then theres the burnettes and red heads. what about the girls with black hair? in my ...
A. 28 December 2011: The same applies to blondes and redheads. Guys find something about all girls to find attractive it's they way we roll.... (read in full...)
What to do with a lying spouse?
Q. My wife of 10 years had some problems with stealing and lying in the early years of our marriage. For the past several years there have been times I've suspected the behavior again, but lacked proof to confirm, so I gave her the benefit of the ...
A. 28 December 2011: It's just like you said, "insignificant" A big lie would cause concern, like..winning the lottery but telling you she didn't then you might want to worry. I think you should forget about it and not worry about you and how you feel.... (read in full...)
Sex before a relationship? Yes or No?
Q. whats everyones thoughts on having sex before relationship? yes or ney? is it lust or love? does a girl who wants sex before relationship love that person? inputs?...
A. 27 December 2011: I'd predict a poor relationship to evolve from a sex before relationship. It would never be a relationship developed over common thoughts and life goals. It would just be based on physical gratifications.... (read in full...)
How do I hide that I'm no longer a virgin?
Q. I am deeply in love with a boy.one day i mate((sex) with a condam) with his at that time my hyman was broken and bleeded. now he doesn't have any interest in me so can i get marry another person? if so can that person know about my virginity? what i ...
A. 26 December 2011: Only you will ever know, trust me, I never knew my gf was a sleep-around until many months after our first encounter.... (read in full...)
Confused about ex girlfriend want her back
Q. me and my girlfriend were in a long distance relationship..she had an abusive ex that she would always bring up as well and being beaten as a child by her father. she also has skin cancer. so it was very rocky at times and her mood swings were the ...
A. 25 December 2011: wipe the slate clean and start over with someone else.... (read in full...)
Verbally abusive boyfriend keeps saying that I'm dumb and good for nothing
Q. Dear Cupid My bf used to abuse me verbally once in a while before and now he started doing it almost every day. He says its getting difficult to even hold a conversation without getting angry with me, nowadays. He often says i dont know anythi...
A. 25 December 2011: If you take no other advice please take this advice...Leave this loser before he hurts you! NOW... (read in full...)
Would it be weird to invite myself over and cook dinner for her?
Q. will it be weird to invite myself over to a chicks house to cook dinner and hang out for the second date????? i went on a first date with this chick but.. it was average so i want to spark things up by inviting myself over to herself and cook.. t...
A. 25 December 2011: Yeah,it's over the top and it sounds like you a very "full of yourself" If i were a woman9or even a chicken0 I'd want to run for the bnearest exit if some DUDE came on to me like "hay here I am, Mr. Mr. and I can cook too so why aren't we in bed ... (read in full...)
I want to wear my bikini, but my Bf gets teary and upset at me doing this. Is he over-reacting?
Q. My boyfriend gets all teary and upset when I express interest in wearing a bikini. He hates the idea of someone looking at me but I'm proud of my body and sometimes I just want to show it (most of the time however I like adequate coverage...) Is ...
A. 25 December 2011: You have a very short-sigted view of this issue(in my opinion) You want to show off your body/That in and of itself is way out of bounds from normal.Now it may be drop dead beautiful but that's no excuse for flaunting it. Common modesty would ... (read in full...)
My husband's family don't respect my kitchen
Q. My husband had told me that some of his fathers friends were stopping by because they were driving up from Florida to Ny and they were stopping through. I had never met these people but it turned out they were actually staying at our house. No ...
A. 23 December 2011: Tell him if he can't get them to leave soon you'll invite your mother to come live with you.... (read in full...)
Am I a sex addict?
Q. Hi! I´m a 16 year old girl (and Im going to make 17 years next month, january) and lately I have been wondering why do i think at every second about sex. At the beginning, when i started to noticed it I thought that thinking about sex all the time...
A. 23 December 2011: Sounds like you're just hitting that peak(sexual maturity) estrogen is flowing-keep it in check lest you do something you'll be eternally sorry for. You can't unring a bell or get virginity back. Hold on until you marry some lucky guy then, screw ... (read in full...)
Am I too young to get married?
Q. Ok so me and my girlfriend were really good friends before we ever started to date. she had some emotional issues with things and then she started caring for me as more than friends when she relized that i was a caring person and wanted/tried to ...
A. 22 December 2011: Maturatity is not an age thing. In other words once you hit say 22, you don't wake up one morning with new eyes to see the world through. I know 50 year old people that are too dumb to feed themselves. ust keep waiting you'll know when it's right.... (read in full...)
I've lost myself.....Could I be depressed?
Q. Hi all, I was wondering if anyone can help me? Over the past 12 months I've noticed some significant changes and I'm not quite sure what to do. I only turned 21 a few months ago, prior to this I was a very social person. I loved going out clubbing ...
A. 22 December 2011: I agree with Tisha-(only your doctor can know for sure) it could just be a hormonal imbalance which is pretty common in youngsters like you-an easy fix im told.... (read in full...)
Do we have to endure this? His family treat us like kids and are often rude to us
Q. This might sound really silly but i sometimes worry about what my fiances family think of us we didnt have a very good week with them, we attended a large family meal last week and were told where we were sitting (which i was fine with, its their ...
A. 18 December 2011: Some family dinamics are just plain crazy and there is no "answer' I'm sorry but there is a problem with his family relationships that they don't see as problems.They see it as normal to be that way. Good luck with weaving in and out of that ... (read in full...)
Why do my parents never want me to leave home? How to become more independant and not alienate them?
Q. My family thinks we have to be married just to leave home. I don't know why, as we aren't remotely religious and not an ethnic minority. NONE of my extended family is like this at all. So why are my parents? Even the movie Failure to Launch m...
A. 18 December 2011: In a way,it's kind of sweet. But as we all know indepenence is the goal in life. Just pick a date announce it and go off into the sunset(so to speak) They'll respect that more than hanging around forever.Do stay in touch though so they'll not worry.... (read in full...)
Is my wife embarassed by me? She told me "not be obnoxious" when I meet her friends.
Q. We have been married for 13 years and have been together as a couple for over 18, over half of our lives, and have multiple children together. Tomorrow, we are supposed to meet with my wife's friends, maybe some of their husbands, and one friend has ...
A. 18 December 2011: Like me..it sounds like you just need to EDIT your speach. I always seem to say what I think(not a good idea)My wife has always told me to not embarass her so I just keep quiet unless spoke to. That annoys her too so there's no winning. Just ... (read in full...)
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