A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a crush on a guy at work. He's married but I don't know if he's happy. His wife is really beautiful and classy but he rarely ever talks about her. At work he always sits next to me when we're in meetings; he compliments me frequently on my hair, or something I'm wearing; if we working on a project he goes out and grabs something for lunch and brings it back for me. Sometimes I catch him looking at me and then he smiles when our eyes meet. He's really cute and he makes me laugh. I think we'd be amazing together but I don't know how to take it to the next level. Sometimes I text him when he's away from the office and he always responds right away. And anytime I ask for help on something at work he goes out of his way to be available for me. On Christmas Day I had a little too much wine and I sent him a very special Merry Christmas message, and signed it Love, (my name). He later texted me back "MC from Angela and me" (that's his wife's name). I was so crushed!! Yet the next day at work he made an effort to come over to my desk and tell me I looked nice. I always feels like he's flirting with me but I can't be for sure. Other people in our office tell me he's crazy about his wife, and all the guys here think she is a knock out so why is he always paying attention to me? Am I just an ego boost for him or does he have feelings for me? Did I go too far sending him that Love message on Christmas? I just don't know what to do.
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at work, christmas, crush, flirt, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2012): The christmas message put you in your rightful place, he said it all really in that reply
He is married,with his wife cos its Christmas and a brief MC because he fired of a 2sec message, probably his wife or another relative had seen yours.
Do yourself and his wife a huge favour, steer clear of him,tone down the work flirting and keep your distance. You will only ever be his 'knock off',nothing more.
He knows your interested and so does his ego.
A
female
reader, goldengirl88  +, writes (1 January 2012):
Please dont do anything with this guy, i got into a realationship with a married man, we i had thought where friends, good friends when it began. It is more heartbreak than you will ever know, even if he is interested which probably yeah he is, dont do anything step away from him right now before you end up like me CRUSHED AND IN PIECES. I wish i had listened before i fell so in love with him, and ran and ran and kept on running and let him go everytime he pulled me back in to only then throw me away like garbage again and again. You think this guy is not like this, he is!!!! he will throw you under the bus as soon as he gets the chance or if things come a head with his wife, dont risk it it is not worth the heartbreak.
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A
female
reader, feralfox  +, writes (1 January 2012):
It's flattering, when a man gives us extra attention. He's probably really fun and intelligent-- and since he's married you know that he's probably worth something if another woman decided to go to the altar with him right? But if he was really a good guy, he wouldn't be flirting with you at all. Think about his wife... you probably haven't met her have you? It's easier to detach yourself from the reality of the situation when you don't know her. But see, she DOES exist, and she probably loves him. And this sleazy guy is going off flirting with other woman around his office-- and chances are that you are not the only one. And even if you are, the chances of him leaving his wife are very very slim. Trust me. You're probably a total catch, but he lives a comfortable life... he can flirt with the hot girl in the office and maybe have an extramarital affair, and then return home to the Mrs. who has no idea and is probably giving him the same at home. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, OP, but in my experience the husband has it great in these situations and I don't think this relationship has much of a future... it can only bring heartache for either you or his wife. In the end, only the cheater will win. So I guess it depends on what you want... because if you like the idea of being his dirty little secret and you are okay with acknowledging that he will probably never leave his wife, then you can pursue this relationship. I'm not going to say it makes you a bad person, because we all work under different moral compasses. But I think you should protect yourself. And if you do pursue this, ALWAYS remember that he is married and will probably stay that way, no matter what you would like to believe.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (1 January 2012):
This is bad news. He will not talk about his wife and maybe even go so far as to act like she doesn't treat him well so you can feel like you guys have a chance.
As for the Christmas message - he was probably with her when you sent it and (if he has an iPhone ) it popped on his screen or he read it and looked surprised and fired off the "angela and me" when she questioned him.
Or she didn't see it and he was giving you a subtle reminder - he will text and flirt but i have a wife (and you can't be careless )
He's hoping you'll be a mistress or A fling on the side but he has to make sure you won't ruin his marriage.
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (1 January 2012):
 I'd say he knows that you're interested and likes the attention. If you would offer more, odds are he'd take it. Can you honestly pursue this KNOWING he is married? Its very unlikely he'd leave his wife for you, but yes, he'd take a little extra on the side if its being offered. Do yourself a favor and chalk this guy up as TROUBLE. Walk away.
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (31 December 2011):
Odds are he wants attention... and odds are he'd take some strange sex if you gave it to him. Let this guy go, this is trouble...
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (31 December 2011):
 yes..our egos get a rush when any women pays attention to us(men) It's VERY confusing tous and should not be continued unless you want to mess up his relationship with his wife. I wish you'd ignor him for a week or two then asses the situation
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