A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, so im having trouble getting over this girl... the more i think about her the more attracted i am to her.she 14 im 18 she added me as a friend on facebook cos she's mates with my brother, got talking flriting and that, once she was so upset she had a heart to heart to with me about her family, boy troubles and issues about her self (this is after about 4 months of chatting) She asked to meet up with me, i made it clear if it did happen it would only be as friends and nothing could happen (im sensible) and if I was younger she could ask me out. I also would ask her out if she was older and that's where the problem lies, because of the age. I't's not going to happen anytime soon, so i just want to forget about her.But the more i try to forget about her, the more i want to be with her (maybe not in a relationship but as friends to meet up have a laugh make new friends and such) It also drives me crazy when i see her chatting up other boys and flirting with them because i want that to be me... i know the age diff is wrong she too young and i should be looking at girls my age (wich i am) but i cant help my feelingsI didnt choose to feel like this about her. I think she just used me for some one to speak to and as someone to receive flirts from (if that makes sense) and now shes done with me. She takes forever to reply to my messages and she never speaks to me first im always the one to say hi first and get a convo going... so obviously she isnt interested in me anymore? Hopefully im wrong hopefully we become close friends for a while she turns 18 i ask her out and we go on to have a happy life together with children and grandchildren, but that isn't going to happen I dont think, what do you think?? i could be wrong.. i doubt it tho :P so how do i get over her? and just forget? its driving me crazy!
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female
reader, AbiMF +, writes (6 January 2012):
Something I learnt about getting over people: it seems utterly impossible, but actually, with the right motivation it doesn't have to be as long a process as you might think, particuarly since nothing has actually happened between you guys, it's just a matter of shifting your thinking. So, first of all, stop thinking about how much you wish the age difference wasn't there: it is, you can't change that, so you jusy have to accept it. Then, don't think of this as you waiting for her to grow up and/or want you, it's not going to happen, and you need to accept that. Don't allow yourself the fantasies, even if they stop it hurting for a little while, the second you find yourself thinking about her, your feelings for her, how perfect it could be in the future, STOP. To give you an example, ever since I was about 12 I've never been able to accept sleeping on my own, at night I lie down, curl up, close my eyes and imagine someone's arms around me. What I learnt, was that person canNOT be my crush - it makes everything worse. So either think of something completely different, or substiture someone else into your thoughts of the future, prefereably someone fictional to avoid creating the whole situation again. Limit your contact with her, but don't stop it compeltely - you don't want to let her become something big and important in your head. Then, STICK TO IT. When I finally started doing this, it took me a little over a month to get over feelings for my best friend which had dragged on for two and a half YEARS. It's all a matter of your head. Good luck :) x
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 January 2012):
 Well, sometimes you never get over someone, but you learn to live on for the sake of living on. A.Don't dwell on it and stay away from Facebook. and B. find another girl to focus on(there are millions out there). C. Don't fall for the next one so deeply 'cause it can happen again
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