Like what
he writes?
... Add *lderthandirt to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
|
I have gay thoughts when I masturbate to straight porn, what does this mean?
Q. Of late, when I masturbate, while watching straight porn, then gay thoughts also come into my mind which makes me confused and tense and don't feeling like enjoying it. Does it mean I am gay or bi-sexual or straight? or it happens with everyone...
A. 17 November 2011: It would be very unusual to not have wandering fantasy as part of the self excitation process since it is auto-sexual in nature. don' think about it, enjoy yourself.... (read in full...)
I lied about my age to this 27 year old guy whom I've been seeing. Said I was 20, when I'm actually 18. Now what?
Q. im 18 and im seeing a 27 yr. old, i lied to him about my age and said i was 20, but were really starting to click and hes going to ask me to be his girlfriend soon because hes REALLY into me. I want to tell him before we get any more serious because ...
A. 17 November 2011: Now you tell the truth and hope for the best... (read in full...)
Is it weird going off to university as a virgin?
Q. This is going to seem like a bit of an overreaction probably...and it's probably a silly question. I guess I'm feeling a little insecure about being a virgin. I'm only 17 and in my last year of school, but it's starting to look like I'll be hea...
A. 17 November 2011: Back in the day, it used to proper to remain a virgin as long as you were single but I know times have changed. No! it's not weird i's to be commended!... (read in full...)
I am 14 and my boyfriend is 15 and we both REALLY want a baby!
Q. I am 14 and my boyfriend is 15 and we both REALLY want a baby!!! What do we do?!?! We talk about getting married and having kids all the time!! What do I do? P.S. We haven't had sex if that's what you are thinking.....
A. 14 November 2011: Wait ten years. In the meantime visit a day care center for an hour or two(Best birth control there is).... (read in full...)
Is this a traditional FWB relationship?
Q. A close friend of mine which I have known for the past 3 years, and I have hooked up 4 times in the last 7 months. I'm not sure if it's a FWB relationship... we don't booty call each other (which is what I've read that FWB do), or have long cha...
A. 13 November 2011: Im going to assume that F W B means friends with benifits? Since I'm not in the new generation of text-alot communication, I'm making a wild guess. And If that's the right term then hold your horses! Friends don't require benifits they seek ... (read in full...)
Attracted to students as a teacher. Help!
Q. I'm a secondary school teacher 11-18 and always find myself attracted to students. I'm 28 and married. I find myself attracted to the older students and sometimes thinking what the younger students will grow up to look like. I have never acted on ...
A. 13 November 2011: Watch your self buddy. You act on those desires and you'll end up 'bunking with Buba" in some concrete cell.And let me educate you the Bubas in prison just LOVE pediphiles. I'd seek help or change proffesions if I were you.... (read in full...)
Are people joined at the hip once they marry?
Q. Once people get married are they joined at the hip? Do they get time outs like a week at a time, a few times a year? On average is this acceptable? Kids can survive without a parent once in a while right? Do you think giving partners time out will ...
A. 13 November 2011: No, not really but most couples are couples and tend to do important and fun things together. That's the part of marriage that is supposed to be the most enjoyable. If it's not then,hey not all marraiges work out. Seperate vacations,etc. are ... (read in full...)
Why are guys jerks like this?
Q. So I started dating this after finishing school, we live in different states. I went to visit him in his hometown and we fell really hard for each other, he told me that he loved me after about a week. I said that we couldn't have a relationship ...
A. 13 November 2011: I don't think he knew what in the world a "real relationship" even was. Some guys act all knowledgable and that but have no clue as to real feelings or the what the intangeables of good give and take is all about. just be more careful but never ... (read in full...)
A little primer on women and sex...
Q. A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
A. 12 November 2011: all good to know,,i just wish i'd known earlier in life... (read in full...)
He's confused me. Why would a guy tell you he likes you and is dedicated to you and then just stop talking?
Q. I recently started talking to a guy online. We hit it off right away and were constantly talking via texting and video calling. He expressed a lot of interest and said he would work really hard to make us work..he'd always call when on break at w...
A. 12 November 2011: I can think of many reasons; 1) His mother may have seen his on-line chats and taken away his privilages. 2) his wife may have caught him. his parole office may have intercepted his chats with a minor. His hard drive might have craashed. 3) Or..... (read in full...)
Confused after sex with a friend
Q. Okay, so I had sex with a friend of mine. He isn't my best friend, however, I feel like I can talk to him about anything. I also feel that he can talk to me about everything, as we can talk for hours. So the situation occurred after a night that I ...
A. 9 November 2011: You can think of sex in two ways; An emotional(love) relationship. or; a physical activity- like push-ups with benifits. So now define it whichever way you like... (read in full...)
Curious about oral sex or just being silly
Q. This is probably a silly question. Well I am a girl and openly bisexual but not sexually active and my friend is bi-curious or whatever and lately she keeps bringing up sex with me. Talking about how she wants me to perform oral on her and ...
A. 9 November 2011: My "vote" would be acting silly- the "no comment" response kinda clinched it. she's just pushing you into a comitment so you'll admit your sexuality and thus reinforce her own.... (read in full...)
Why do I attract horrible guys?
Q. Why do I keep attracting horrible guys? what is wrong with me?:(? Am a nice sweet girl, am loyal, caring loving would never lie or cheat on my bf. Each time I meet a guy, they all seem so sweet and find me amazing and I'd think we're in...
A. 8 November 2011: Why not get a friend (male or female) that you trust to do an evaluation of the next guy and go with their recommendation? PS, most of us guys are easy to figure out early on if you ask the right questions. If you're as nice as you say you are why ... (read in full...)
She spent the whole time dancing without me. Am I right to be annoyed?
Q. My girlfriend and I both came from relationships where we both were unfaithful. Understanding this we have trust issues. I make every effort to be mindful and respectful of her feelings to insure she is comfortable with my actions. Recently we went ...
A. 8 November 2011: There's an old southern adage; "You should dance with the one who brung you". I guess she's just not a very sensitive gal. this should not be a big deal, Now, it had been a party where she went off in the back room with the other guys and did ... (read in full...)
He chose to watch sexy nurses instead of time with me!
Q. My boyfriend chose watching sexy nurses on TV instead of reading the horoscope with me...what should I do?...
A. 8 November 2011: You could announce that his horiscope says he's not getting any for thirty days. Let those who don't want any live in fond memories of never getting any.... (read in full...)
Is 'dry humping' morally wrong?
Q. We were making out and it just happened, we're both Christians and we want to wait till marriage to have sex, but is it wrong that we dry humped and we both enjoyed it? ...
A. 8 November 2011: morals are subjective values imposed by society's pressures or by religious teachings. I'm not familiar with the dry humping morality so I guess unless you're doing it in public places like school yards or the movies, I guess you'll pass the test.... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever met the one and let them get away? How do you accept it?
Q. How do you deal with knowing that you have lost and ruined your chance with probably someone who could of been the one for you? That gut feeling that eats inside of you, the thought of knowing you met someone so amazing, who looks and you like no ...
A. 8 November 2011: yep..happened to me 50 years ago, you'll never get over it just get bitter and have self-loathing for a long time. IF there is the slightest chance no matter how small to reunite...do it now!... (read in full...)
Don't want to be married anymore...
Q. I have been married for 3 years and have an almost 2 year old son. I'm 24 hubby is 26. More and more for the past 2 years I have been doubting if our marriage can last. I feel like I made a huge mistake by marrying him when I did. All my teenage ...
A. 8 November 2011: To be brutally honest won't be what you want to hear(no way to be nice about it but you're trying to find validation in your decision to leave your husband and salvage your youth(or what you see as left of it) Your 2 year old son will never ... (read in full...)
How can I cover a bruise on my face?
Q. I have a bruise on my face and i am worried as i have to go out on Wednesday and i don't want people to notice it. i have very short hair so it might be hard to hide it that way. i could put make up on it but i'm not sure if it would still be ...
A. 7 November 2011: I also am curious. IF the bruise was by chance caused by spousal abuse(which I'm not suggesting it was, but...) then the way to get rid of it and the next one is by reporting it to the proper folks. I saw someone recommending a nake-up. That's ... (read in full...)
I am addicted to porn!
Q. I am quite badly addicted to porn and it makes me struggle concentrating on anything else properly. If it was happening once in a week , then I guess it would have been okay but I spend most of my time watching porn and getting jerk off in front of ...
A. 7 November 2011: Porn is like fog, It's a bunch of dropletts of something (inthe case of fog-it's moisture) You can't be addicted to something that's not really there. Ignore the fact that you can be addicted to sex(which is real) and concentrate on the fact that ... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to want sex more?
Q. Im worried my husband doesnt want to have sex with me he says he is tired all the time we do have sex on a saturday and its just the same nothing changes i love him fancy him and lust over him its just that i dont want a predictable sex life i have ...
A. 7 November 2011: He may be experiencing low testosterone( not a big deal really)He can talk to his doctor or search the internet as there are a zillion"treatments out there. Or you could seek therapy. But it sounds like he may just not be all that interested. if ... (read in full...)
First date in a LONG time tonight - advice please!
Q. I have my first 'first date' in 11 years tonight and I'm rather nervous (I have been single for 2 years after a 9-year relationship). Been online dating sites for a year and this is the first time it has resulted in a date - she sought me out. ...
A. 7 November 2011: Just breath deep every so often and relax. "Relationships" develop on their own not as a result of your input. That would be akin to trying to make water run uphill. Just relax!... (read in full...)
Is Facebook really going to make me into the girl I hate?
Q. I've known this guy for five years. We met when I was 19 and still, well honestly, a party girl. For awhile when I wasn't in a relationship we would just hang out and have fun. We never really talked about us, just had a great time, and after a bit ...
A. 7 November 2011: In my humble opinion Facebook and Twitter are dumb time bandits.... (read in full...)
He said sex feels weird and he thinks its because I had a baby!
Q. this morning my boyfriend told me he doesnt really feel much when we have sex, he hardly holds an erection as it is but when its hard its like a rock.. he told me the penetration feels weird and i dont think thats a good thing? hes never been able ...
A. 7 November 2011: It's not you, he's got a sensation problem. Thes guys that tend to seek alternative answers to their problem just slay me. making love to a woman has little or nothing to do with their "tightness" or "loosness". The goal is to provide her with ... (read in full...)
Does stress make it worse? And is it normal and reversible for a young man of 20-23 to be less interested in sex?
Q. This question goes out to the mainly the MALES out there but women who are experienced with this matter are also welcome!! please let me know..does a LOT of stress at work...working day and night ,too many responsibilities,worries,etc make a man less...
A. 5 November 2011: It won't last long...But yes stress and too much wine will slow the old body down a bunch... (read in full...)
He's been extremely annoying with his continual requests for anal sex!
Q. Hey everyone, I have a fantastic boyfriend who I love very much. BUT (isn't there always a but?) he keeps pressuring me to have anal sex with him. I'm happy to do it once a week or so, but every day is too much and it hurts. Also, he doesn't like ...
A. 3 November 2011: It's your body you control what goes in it and where it goes in. But,(no pun intended) you might want to try it once then decide,some girls actually think it's no too bad.... (read in full...)
Is he using me for money?
Q. Ok this is hard for me..I ran into an old friend on facebook and after sharing a place for a few months about four..we started sleeping together..he mentioned porn and how he used to whack off to it while single and this was for a very long ...
A. 3 November 2011: Demand your money back and run like the wind once the check clears...you've been played and there's a bunch of creeps just like him waiting to pounce so take a long break from the "relationship-go-round" save yourself no one else will.... (read in full...)
Do I tell my ex about the rebound relationship?
Q. My boyfriend of two and half years and I took a small break, not because we didn't love eachother but because of the long distance between us. AFter we broke up, I had a rebound relationship that lasted about 4 weeks. I broke it off rather quicly ...
A. 3 November 2011: IF the situation were reversed, would you just love hearing your spouse telling you the truth about a rebound relationship?... (read in full...)
I can't let go of my unrequited love and it is killing me..
Q. I have been in love with a close female friend for four years. I have tried to date other women but there has never been a spark and they pale in comparison with my friend. I have tried minimising contact but it makes no odds. I want to move on ...
A. 3 November 2011: As an older man, I can tell you if it was your first love(requited or not) then you'll NEVER get over her. First love's are sadly forever. Breathe deep and read thick books and start over.... (read in full...)
What do I take my father in law's comments to mean?
Q. I recently told my father-in-law (in a state of despair and hurt and expecting some empathy) about his son's (my husband) cheating on me with different women. Father-in-law's response was that I was not the only woman to have been hurt. Does his ...
A. 2 November 2011: What I think he meant was that it happens all the time all over the planet so get over it. Plus he may have been saying that the whole concept of "cheating" is way over-blown. In some definitions, looking at another women is cheating. Other ... (read in full...)
My emotions consume me
Q. I'm so volatile in this relationship. I worry about where we are and where we're going and fearing an end that may not even come. I cry all the time both when I'm upset or misunderstood something and when I'm full of joy at the thought of ...
A. 1 November 2011: i'm totally not a professional so can not even offer a guess at what to do. Sorry, but as a layperson to me you sound depressed and in need of prof. help. Good luck and best to you. It does sound like your man is supportive though so don't kick him ... (read in full...)
Is it a good idea to tell someone you think they have narcissism?
Q. I have been reading some information on narcissism and am pretty sure this is what my husband has. He thinks he's better than everyone else and will only talk to people he deems good enough so can be rude to other people. He thinks only about ...
A. 1 November 2011: Young lady, you should tred VERY lightly if you think he is a narcisist which is a personality disorder and can turn violent or sadistic(so be careful. I'm sorry but the way you've worded your question it makes it sound like it is something he ... (read in full...)
Is it worth the time to occasionally masturbate?
Q. Is it worth the time to occasionally masturbate? In sex ed, I did hear about it, but I'm not quite sure on how enjoyable it could be. I mean, is it worth the effort? I haven't been able to ask any other people about it, so I'm pretty stumped on ...
A. 1 November 2011: THere's nothing to be concerned about. It's quite normal and in your later years it's all that's left you so practice,practice,practice.... (read in full...)
Is he more interested in sex than me? now all he seems concerned about is how soon we can become a couple and start having sex
Q. Hey guys would love an outsiders opinion to this... Long story short I've met this amazing guy two weeks ago who is sweet, cute, funny and matched and rivalled my humour and we got on really well. We've been talking non stop over this time and al...
A. 31 October 2011: Yeah, the bend over the desk thing says it all. He lives in a fantasy world and a kinky one at that. If I were a girl and in this situation, I'd dump him and haul buggy.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a timing plan set out for when we should have sex but I'm worried I wont be ready by then!
Q. I am worried my boyfriend is going to get tired of waiting to have sex. We are both 16. Both capricorns ;) . I love him n he says he loves me but i know how fast feelings can change so far we have been together for 2 months but we have known ...
A. 28 October 2011: The best laid plans "of mice and men" oh what a dude he must be...yeah,yeah all guys have their plans...I did too (what a joke!) Your plan should be...(at the risk of sounding like your dad or grand dad)...Your plan should be to have your FIRST ... (read in full...)
Is it right for my husband to leave me despite having a high risk pregnancy to go on holiday?
Q. i have been married for a few months. i am 34 weeks pregnant, with a history of heart disease, and classified high risk pregancy. my husband lobied for a paid for 2 months vacation out of the country with his employers and really excited about it. i ...
A. 27 October 2011: No, it's not "right" in my opinion, he's a punk! for better or worse is the vow(I think) A real man stands by his spouse at all times not go playing with the boys during rough times. You may want to reconsider spouses in the future. Good luck, ... (read in full...)
My past is coming back to haunt me.....
Q. I have a very big problem about my past and I'm not sure how to handle it. My husband I are married almost 10 years, and together over 10 years. My husband thinks that I was not only a virgin when we started dating, but he also thinks that I was CO...
A. 27 October 2011: OK, Your husband will not love the idea but many of us husbands have found out our wife was less than "pure" well after marraige BUT that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. duck the EX but don't worry too much about the truth. some of us have discovered ... (read in full...)
Which guy should I choose? I like them all!
Q. Okay so this is going to be long and I am really sorry for it. Okay so over the summer I ended up breaking u with my ex boyfriend, who is really sweet, kind and funny. I broke up with him because I was constantly mad around him and have no idea...
A. 26 October 2011: NOT the one that scares you a little!!! He's not the right one. ALWAYS listen to that little voice in the back of your head that says things like"he kinda scares me a little" that little voice is your best mechanism to save your life. I'm not ... (read in full...)
What do I say in an anniversary card when husband doesn't love me anymore?
Q. It will in two days be my 10'th anniversary but me and my husband have been seperated we still in contact I want us to work on our relationship and send him an anniversay card what, do I say in the card? He told me that he does not love me anymore ...
A. 25 October 2011: I'd love to hear from my ex that this is to recognize all the good year we had before the bad years happened. but on the other hand why bother?... (read in full...)
Do I have another child or go to college?
Q. Hi Everyone, Im having trouble making up my mind. Im 22 and married. I have a 2 year old son. Ive been thinking of going to college but lately ive been thinking of having another kid. Why? well because i want my kids to be around the same age. Im ...
A. 25 October 2011: Well, It's a toss up 'cause college will still be there too but kids are best when had by younger mothers..so it's real hard to tell.... (read in full...)
Does he want me or my body?
Q. Hi I’m having trouble figuring out if this guy likes me or just wants me for my body. So I’ve known this guy for about 3 years, but we have never really started hanging out till the beginning of this school semester. We go to the same college and ...
A. 24 October 2011: OK, all men want your body but that's not 'love' so don't confuse the two(or let him be confused).Just take it very slow, the "real motivations will reveal themselves in time, then you can decide what to do.... (read in full...)
| *lderthandirt's friends
These are mutual friends, so *lderthandirt has
added them and they have added *lderthandirt!
|
