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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Should I tell him exactly what I think? Or just completely ignore him! Hes hurt me so much! Please help!
Q. Im after some good honest opinions as im going out of my mind with frustration. I was seeing this guy for 9 months but he treats me like crap. No matter what he does though i still wanna be with him. Im in love with him. He always blows hot and cold ...
A. 21 September 2011: I know THE thing to use these days is texting BUT I can't think of a worse way to try to communicate a complex issue like this is. My suggestion is to try the old fashion write a long letter approach that trys to cover all the possible "come-backs ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him exactly what I think? Or just completely ignore him! Hes hurt me so much! Please help!
Q. Im after some good honest opinions as im going out of my mind with frustration. I was seeing this guy for 9 months but he treats me like crap. No matter what he does though i still wanna be with him. Im in love with him. He always blows hot and cold ...
A. 21 September 2011: I know THE thing to use these days is texting BUT I can't think of a worse way to try to communicate a complex issue like this is. My suggestion is to try the old fashion write a long letter approach that trys to cover all the possible "come-backs ... (read in full...)
Do you think having sex too much, can make him lose interest in a relationship with me? Help!!
Q. So me and this guy have been seeing each other for almost 2 months now, like we are basically together but just without the official title. Like we act like we are together, just basically how everything between us is how it would be if we were ...
A. 20 September 2011: THERE IS NO SUCH THING as TOO much sex! It's like chocolate and money you can not get enough so don't stress over it. He's just kinda on the slow side (apparently comitment scares the ___ outa him?)... (read in full...)
Do you think having sex too much, can make him lose interest in a relationship with me? Help!!
Q. So me and this guy have been seeing each other for almost 2 months now, like we are basically together but just without the official title. Like we act like we are together, just basically how everything between us is how it would be if we were ...
A. 20 September 2011: THERE IS NO SUCH THING as TOO much sex! It's like chocolate and money you can not get enough so don't stress over it.... (read in full...)
What do I write in my bf's first anniversary card?
Q. Hey, what do guys like to read in a first anniversary card? I'm looking for ideas of cool but not too mushy things to write in my bf's first anniversary card, please. Thanks :)...
A. 20 September 2011: I love the ideas "fishdish" had about listing all the standout memories over the last year and kind of thanking him for being a part of your life during those experiences.Wow just that you're putting thought into this exposes you as a caring person ... (read in full...)
What are the after affects of anal sex?
Q. What are the after affects of having anal sex? My boyfriend wants to do it but I'm scared because I hear that you have discharge from the anus afterwards. What are the good things about anal and what are the bad? Please help me out!?...
A. 20 September 2011: It can be messy, Always "clean out" prior to doing it. It's not all that much pleasure to the female(I'm told) but guys love it. I'm told hemeroids can occur along with bleeding. I'd advise against it myself. Efven though it was great for me, ... (read in full...)
What are the after affects of anal sex?
Q. What are the after affects of having anal sex? My boyfriend wants to do it but I'm scared because I hear that you have discharge from the anus afterwards. What are the good things about anal and what are the bad? Please help me out!?...
A. 20 September 2011: It can be messy, Always "clean out" prior to doing it. It's not all that much pleasure to the female(I'm told) but guys love it.... (read in full...)
I'm 24 and he's 20...can this work?
Q. I recently met a guy at the bar that I started dating. The thing is he's 20 and I'm 24... He says it doesn't bother him at all, is this normal? We get along great but it makes me wonder what his motives are... Any insight from you guys out there? ...
A. 20 September 2011: Age is a way to measure the passage of time but maturity is NEVER automatically attached to the age number. Guys are usually five years or so behind in the maturity scale as gals(sorry to my fellow guys-just doing the truth thing). You do the ... (read in full...)
Typical communication habits of guys?
Q. Firstly, this is in a 1 year old relationship. My boyfriend said if there's something I need within our relationship that all I need to do is ask. But I feel awkward asking for affection and attention. Secondly, I don't text incessantly but ...
A. 20 September 2011: Commumication skills are the biggest thing we males lack. We might be able to fix an airplane in flight with some duct tape and a pen knife but telling you how we feel is like Trying to swim in jello. ... (read in full...)
High school drama!
Q. So I am almost nineteen years old and my bf just turned seventeen in aug. I have already graduated highschool and have a fulltime job. My boyfriend on the other hand has just started a new school and is in eleventh grade, he failed awhile back. We ...
A. 20 September 2011: A two year difference in age is not a big number but when you're under the age of 20 or so it can be a mile apart emotionally. Might be best for both of you to reset your thoughts and maturity clocks. MIght not be what you wanted to hear 'cause ... (read in full...)
I am obsessed with my wife's sexual past. What can I do to help myself?
Q. I want to preface this post by saying that I have read a lot of the retroactive jealousy threads both here and on other sites. I realize this is mostly my problem, not my wife's. I don't absolve her completely, because I think a smart, respecta...
A. 16 September 2011: I happen to have the EXACT same situation but as older and (maybe wiser now). I think oh what the heck, who really cares? Iyt's not like I'm perfect and she's not so I plan to just flush it out of my brain and grow old with her. Besides what's the ... (read in full...)
When should two people start having sex in a relationship?
Q. Hey all, simple question. So I have been broken up with my ex for over a year now and I'm reflecting back on past mistakes. I'm wondering maybe one of the mistakes was that we had sex too early. We talked about sex maybe 3 weeks into our ...
A. 16 September 2011: THe very correct answer is after marriage but the "other answer" might be once you know beyond all doubt that this is the one for you and the two of you will spend the rest of your lives together-that way there's no "guessing" who did what with whom ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't seem to know if he wants me or not
Q. my partner (or ex partner as it stands at the moment) is 51 years old, I am 47. We have been together on and off for 12 months. We have just come back from a holiday in spain. We took both our daughters, mine is 10 and his is 14. They fell out ...
A. 13 September 2011: don't just jump up and sell your house until this very questionable relationship is nore solid.Sounds real flimsy right now. Yeah we men are punks when it comes to commitment. There has to be a real good reason to commit..... (read in full...)
Why do men treat me better when I am not nice to them?
Q. When I was with my ex , I was a nightmare. I was demanding, disrespectful and very manipulative. In return he was a great bf. I broke up with him after a few years when I got a job in another country. So, now I have a new bf and for some reason,...
A. 13 September 2011: I would not like to think that it's this way for more than just a handfull of 'men'. the men I know would not want to put up with a "B" most men prefer to be in the "Golden Rule" catagory.... (read in full...)
I fantasise about having a relationship but the reality scares me too much, especially sex
Q. Hi i am a 28 years old female! I have a problem: it's been 3 years since i got divorced. I never had any physical relationship with my ex-husband so technically i am a virgin! By the way my ex-husband was a big jerk and i don't wanna go into any ...
A. 13 September 2011: Never heard of this kind of phobia before It's a VERY strange thing to be this way. Fear of rejection is a common thing... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend I cheated 2 years later?
Q. Me and my bf had been together nearly 2 years when i cheated. I was away on a school trip i was 18. On the last night things got out of control, loads of drinking from the students and teachers. I was really drunk ,I know its not an excuse. ...
A. 12 September 2011: You want him to tell you in graphic detail all the fantasys he has?... (read in full...)
Sex life going downhill and don't know what to do about it!
Q. I'm in need of some serious help/advice. I need to know how I can spice things up in the bedroom with my husband. Lately our sex life has gone down hill, he can't last like he used to and half the time he doesn't even seem interested anymore. For ...
A. 12 September 2011: We men are somewhat complex at times. Normally, you just need to show up nude,bring beer and don't block the TV but sometimes our testosterone levels are not what they used to be. read the Karma Sutra together in bed.... (read in full...)
Husband has been acting really shady lately
Q. I need some advice... My husband has been acting real shady lately... He'll be on his phone in another room, and then jumps when I walk in the door. He carries his phone into the bathroom with him, won't go anywhere, even in the house, without his ...
A. 12 September 2011: Guilty conciece? maybe? i don't like be snuck up on either though so perhaps a bell around your ankle would be safer.... (read in full...)
Can you be married and fall in love with another person?
Q. Is it possible to fall in love with someone else when you are married?...
A. 12 September 2011: Absolutely! There is no "limit" to the number of people a person can love. It just gets VERY confusing and tricky remebering names and stuff.... (read in full...)
My wife thinks I have a small penis!
Q. I have a troubling issue in my marriage. To get right to the point, it has to do with penis size and my wife's perception. I am about 5.75 by 5 around and I always thought fairly average. When my wife and I talk it is clear that she thinks ...
A. 9 September 2011: Buy her one of those toobig for words "marital aids' and see what she does with it.... (read in full...)
I'm married and can't get over a crush!
Q. Help! I am married and can't get over a crush. The guy is married too and is not as good looking/hunky as my husband. I think I fell for his wit and sense of humour. I did enjoy flirting with him. I don't know why I am feeling this way. I've ...
A. 9 September 2011: Nothing is "wrong" with you! Your good sense has you stepping back and reflecting rather than acting on an innocent and perfectly normal attraction to another person.
Good on you for identifying the issues for what it is. If more people were as ... (read in full...)
Have I lost my virginity to a cucumber??
Q. I am a 19 yr old girl who has always prided myself on the idea of being a virgin when I got married. I got super horny tonight, though, and used a cucumber. I didnt notice until afterwards that I had bled. Does this mean I have lost my virginity? Or ...
A. 9 September 2011: You are still a virgin psycologicaly but as far as bleeding again,nope it's a one time thing with the hymen. No worries..."he'll" never know if you just be quiet about it.... (read in full...)
B/f went to bathroom then couldn't come back and have sex
Q. I'm asking for some advice on something that I don't understand of a sexual nature. (I'm not very experienced) My boyfriend and I were in bed and then he said hang on he's got to urinate, when he comes back he gets going again and then lost the erec...
A. 9 September 2011: Yeah, it's much more frustrating for the guy than the woman..but it's common. No worries though there's always morning sex.... (read in full...)
Could there be a problem later on with us being the same age?
Q. Hi all,need some advice please...i and my boyfriend are 19.infact i'm a month older than him.my question is;could there be any disadvantage(s) of us being same age.we also have plans of getting married in a couple of years time....
A. 7 September 2011: Can't think of any--my wife is a few weeks older than I am and that just let's me tease her about "robbing the craddle"... (read in full...)
How do I get my girlfriend's trust back?
Q. so to start i messed up i know why did i lie in the first place i dunno. so the story goes: she finds out i still talk to one of my ex and i lie that it has been a while she finds out and the trust is broken and she doesn't know if she can beli...
A. 7 September 2011: Trust is like a crystal bowl,once broken it never quite looks the same regardless of how well its reassembled. That's not to say it can't be done it just has to be done very slowly and carefully. Step one is to acknowledge your fault in this thing ... (read in full...)
How do I stop being so dependent on him?
Q. We pretty much had been in a relationship for about a month before we both went off to college two weeks ago. There is a two hour travel distance between the two colleges, so technically we're long distance. My biggest worry with him is hell dump ...
A. 7 September 2011: Easy for me to say but just tell him "goodby" a dependency relationship is NOT a relashionship it's mental slavery. Just work your way out, you sound intelligent enough to have recognizd the issue so be clever but not hesitant and sail away.... (read in full...)
Why did this guy delete his comment on facebook?
Q. Why did this guy delete his comment on facebook ?. I wrote a comment on his wall saying that i was disappointed that he had been thrown off a tv programme, and that this woman who didn't like him on the programme should have left, and i said it was ...
A. 7 September 2011: If he's like me he does nothave a clue how facebook works!... (read in full...)
Is he having sex with her to get her money?
Q. am a girl of 25 years and have dated my guy for almost 5yrs now and it looks as if am not having money now aday so he's chasing a girl that has money....but i ask him about it and he said..his trying to get that girl's money for as to get marry..so ...
A. 7 September 2011: Mothers always tell their sons to marry rich. But it sounds different here. I think he's using you..Run like the wind..there are real men out there.... (read in full...)
Is this a scam?
Q. I have an appointment with a Casting Agency, which i applied to to become a Supporting Artist/Extra, but they told me that i have to pay £40 to have some photos taken !. Do you think this is a scam, and should i not bother going to them ?. I have ...
A. 7 September 2011: Yeah, did a simalar thing years ago with a modeling agency.We had lots of folks tell us how our son should be a model...we put up $200.00 dollars for photos and wham-bamb it was over. they taught us to never pre-pay for anything!... (read in full...)
Is this moving along too fast? Should I be setting a different pace in this new relationship?
Q. So I don't really have a problem but just wanted to ask something. well basically i've been going out with a guy for about a month and a half and its all going well. but this is my first proper boyfriend and I'm worried if I'm taking it at the righ...
A. 6 September 2011: Yes! and he does so you can lay back and enjoy the tease some more... (read in full...)
She will not cook, will not clean. I do it all, so I ask my self the same question every night, "is it worth all of this?
Q. I dont honestly have the slightest clue on how to piece all of this together but here we go.. Just a little bit of information about my self before we start, i seem to think way too much into things, but i never actually express the way i feel v...
A. 5 September 2011: You use i or I 37 times in your question. This might be indicative of a few things. It could be you're very upset and not being rational, or, it could mean your focus is not on her but on you. A possible answer is to write down all of the ... (read in full...)
Is the thought of too many kids an marriage spooking my partner??
Q. Hi all, I am new here and need some help. I have been dating a man for over 3 yrs and we are now having problems, well he is. Anyway to give you some hindsight into us - we are both divorced,over the age of 40 and i have 3 children (8,8 and 7) who ...
A. 4 September 2011: It's quite possible that the thought of a huge family is too complicated for him to figure out. In that case you'll need to figure out a plan where the two of you can carve out some alone time.For example, every month or two ship the kids off to ... (read in full...)
How do I come clean with my man?
Q. hello all. I need some advice on how to tell the man ive been planning on being in a relationship that i have just been diagnosed with herpes. We have not had sex, as we have been taking it slow for about a year now. I freaked out over it so im ...
A. 4 September 2011: Be up front with it and he'll know how to protect himself from the transfer. ... (read in full...)
Whats the right way to ask my Gran if I can move in with a guy?
Q. To give you a background I dated my ex for 5 years lived with him for 2 ended up not working out so i moved in with my grandma who is very traditional when it comes to dating and living with someone before marriage...(did not think it was ...
A. 4 September 2011: If you'ree looking for someone to validate your wish to live with some dude before marriage then I'll defer to others. As far as having to "live with gran forever' I feel your pain. wr built on a room to our house for my grandmother to live with ... (read in full...)
I still haven't had a boyfriend and was wondering if its something I'm doing?
Q. hello :)) i'm single since birth and i do not know why,i know that i'm not that head turner lady but still i'm not the super ugly one..before,there are some guys who i know that liked me,they show gestures that they like me (like i always catch ...
A. 3 September 2011: You sound like a respectable young lady that just needs to meet the right guy. Don't rush into anything but there a a myriad of different web sites for singles to meet up on try one but be VERY careful. There are animals out there waiting for a ... (read in full...)
Should I have invited him back to my cabin??
Q. Having just returned from a cruise and had a lovely time-towards the end I became friendly with a nice man slightly older than myself (although he was friendly and chatted to everyone) however we had lunch together several times and coffee one ...
A. 3 September 2011: Try not to "over-think" the things you might have,should have or could have done . Life is a series of accidental great things. Live as a tree does and wait for the rain rather than suck harder at the dry earth.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be unlovable???
Q. I know a lot of you think this is stupid but I have my reasons for this question. This is examples from everyone in my life... My dad thinks I'm the worst person. He often laments about how I am not a boy (or I guess a man now.) He constantly re...
A. 2 September 2011: I hear pain in your words and I feel badly for you. Two things: 1.) It is NOT possible to be unlovable!2) Sounds like your dad is hurting from his loss of a wife and partner and he knows you can't take he place.ego he's frustrating and lashing ... (read in full...)
My Best Friend, or my Boy Friend?
Q. Help! I'm in a relationship with this amazing guy. He's loving, caring, complimentary, funny- everything you want in a man. Then there's the problem. He's my cousin.,who is also my best friend, ex... We were friends before they broke up, an...
A. 2 September 2011: Yeah, i don't see a happy ending here. Sorry, just being real. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible my teacher might have a thing for me?
Q. hello everyone, well i know you probably get alot of questios about people being in love with teachers, but please answer mine because no one ever answers it. so here goes... right i am a young 13 year old girl and i have feelings for my teacher who ...
A. 2 September 2011: Anything is possible but be careful, there are laws against messing around with a minor(he could get in very big trouble and you could be deeply hurt and ruined for life . Why not be the "adult in the room" and find someone your age? I see trouble ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be attracted to people whose names all begin with the same letter?
Q. Hello :). Alright so here's the deal. I'm wondering if you can be attracted ("only") to a person whom names starts with a certain letter. When I was around 9-10 I had a "relationship" with a girl which name started with the letter "E" (It ...
A. 2 September 2011: There are 26 letters in the English Alphabet why not try all 26 first then settle in on one letter or another? We have friends that have been married a long time each of their names begin with the same letter and their two kids have names that ... (read in full...)
Should I give my friend ANOTHER chance?
Q. hi i had a friend of 4 yrs .i thought her to be my best friend . but my friendship is going through some tense moments for past 1 and a half years. she is an extrovert whereas i'm reserved.. but she has always forced me to become an extrovert like...
A. 1 September 2011: "friends" don't spy on each other unless they're twelve years old. I'd explain it in a letter,mail it then wait for a response.... (read in full...)
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