A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:me and my girlfriend were in a long distance relationship..she had an abusive ex that she would always bring up as well and being beaten as a child by her father. she also has skin cancer. so it was very rocky at times and her mood swings were the worst but usually i would wait it out or she would apologize and everything would be fine. before things hit rock bottom she started acting very different going out drinking all the time. she kept saying what is happening to me. but i figured she was just sick or it was a phase..untill one night she called me crying saying please dont be mad at her..because she snorted some type of crushed pill..she kept saying that her ex messed her head up so bad..and if i wanted to run she would understand..she would always say i wouldnt hurt you and ill be good to you.which i thought was weird and alarming..well she was still going out and drinking and was like i might snort again..i was like wth you were upset about that too days ago what changed..the last day we talked it was a strange convo..she seemed out of it..and kept saying how if people tell her what to do she will rebel, that nothing makes her happy except her sister..that her and her best friend didnt talk for months because she was going through this phase..and that she doesnt want to deal with anything serious.even school which is her heart..even at times said that she wanted to just leave..and i said what about ur daughter..and she said well everyone says that. she even stated if you left me ill just be with someone else..which was random.. so of course i kept asking what was wrong with her because i was very concerned at this point because she sounded like she hit rock bottom..she then said i have to go..which freaked me out..so i called her back..she then sent me a text pissed that i did and said shes trying to sleep..well the next day i kept texting her she didnt answer..well i freaked out and thought she was trying to leave me..so i asked her..she then deleted me from facebook and i msg her asking what is going on with her..she then said "i just need you to leave me alone for a while im going through alot of shit relax" so i tried to give her space but as the days turned into weeks i started to panic which is something i cant help so i asked her if she needed more time..no answer, i asked her if she wanted it to be permanent..no answer..i asked if she wanted me to wait..no answer..at times i told her i was done..i guess trying to get a reaction..but still none..so i emailed her friend because i thought something maybe was wrong with her..so i sent her a christmas gift basket of all the lil things that made her happy..but i ordered online so the things came everyday that week..which made me mad but anyway..i went to msg her but she had a pic of her and some guy like fake kissing..i was like wth..so i asked my friend if they were dating because he is friends with her on facebook..and he said idk..she flirts with other guys still on her posts and puts flirty innuendos so guys will think its them shes talking about..and always talks about hot guys at the gym..i was like ok? then he said one night she posted how her man gave her a vibrator..and one guy said bummer he cant give you his own goods or something and she liked the comment..but whatever so..i took it as a break up or fact that she simply pushed me away or maybe i did..but i was only trying to help..idk what happened to her she always gave me the impression she had some mental disorder..
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a break, best friend, christmas, crush, ex girlfriend, facebook, flirt, her ex, kissing, long distance, text, vibrator Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionya i havent talked to her..i know i shouldnt check her posts were not friends..but i shouldnt ask my friend either..idk she wasnt like that when we were together..it just bothers me seeing her with this new guy..because there all friends even friends with her best friends who never liked me or the long distance idea. its just tough
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionya i havent talked to her..i know i shouldnt check her posts were not friends..but i shouldnt ask my friend either..idk she wasnt like that when we were together..it just bothers me seeing her with this new guy..because there all friends even friends with her best friends who never liked me or the long distance idea. its just tough
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2011): There's a great message of hope in that oft repeated prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."Yeah, wisdom to know the difference!Don't bother yourself too much with what you see as your ex's mistakes, concentrate right now on what you can influence. Whatever mistakes you find in your past behavior, can they be forgiven? Most probably yes. You'd be amazed at the situations that couples find themselves in and that they later recover from. Think about what was happening in your life at the time that led you to make those mistakes.When you have come to the point where you have begun to gain perspective about your mistakes, then call your ex and arrange to meet. Make sure you have concentrated on exactly what you want to say. Apologize and ask for forgiveness. And, then listen with great attention to what your ex has to say. The process has started...
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A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (26 December 2011):
 she has a lot of emotional baggage and i imagine that right now from what you have said she is feeling somewhat self destructive, you have to let her get it our of her system. people we care about do rash things, they appear destructive and there is nothing we can do about it. you have to let them get on with it, explore their emotions and explode it out of them. i wouldn't recommend sticking around because it will not help you. you will end up thinking could i have helped her more? been more supportive? in reality no , you could not have. move on, let go, accept the things you can't change.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (25 December 2011):
 wipe the slate clean and start over with someone else.
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