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... Send *lderthandirt a private message | | | *lderthandirt's profile:I don't know about qualifactions or not but I do know I'm older than most of the folks that offer up questions and I have shared a lot of experiences that the folks seem to be zeroed in on. 46 years of marriage yes to the same woman. i've lived in Hawaii,California, Texas(currently in Texas) worked in Louisiana, New Jersey, Arkansas,Texas, and Indiana on a consulting engineering basis. I love to daydream about stuff[like living o a beach somewhere living off the sea, I lkie to write lyrics for proposed songs,like reading. I surf the net a lot. |
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Is my wife embarassed by me? She told me "not be obnoxious" when I meet her friends.
Q. We have been married for 13 years and have been together as a couple for over 18, over half of our lives, and have multiple children together. Tomorrow, we are supposed to meet with my wife's friends, maybe some of their husbands, and one friend has ...
A. 18 December 2011: Like me..it sounds like you just need to EDIT your speach. I always seem to say what I think(not a good idea)My wife has always told me to not embarass her so I just keep quiet unless spoke to. That annoys her too so there's no winning. Just ... (read in full...)
How do I break away from my abusive ex and stay away from him? He confuses me.
Q. i have been with this man for five years, this is our second break up. what led to our break up was he started doing more drinking and smoking weed. he has never done this before. it seems like when we got back together for the second time is when...
A. 18 December 2011: He's a piece of S____; therefore what do you do? Out of self-defense you need to escape..leave the state,start over,don't look back!... (read in full...)
I think something strange is going on with my husband and his former boss's wife!
Q. My husband used to work for someone and he always had a questionable relatiolnship with the boss's wife. It was so bad that his co-workers used to kid him about inheriting the business and that the boss's kids were really his. He eventuallty ...
A. 16 December 2011: You need an exit strategy first that involves a better financial situation. Start planning now. write it all down,calculate your needs,etc. then consult with a divorce lawyer. Get some hard proof too. Don't just leave without planning your next ... (read in full...)
Guys! What are the motivations, excuses, reasons, justification for men who are cheating?
Q. I'm trying to better understand motivations for men cheating. So all the men out there... IF your woman is very attractive, always sexually available and ready for you, gives you massages, regularly cooks meals, works and pays her own sh...
A. 16 December 2011: Probably not but if/when the "oportunity" presents itself, it is almost imposible to not carry on with a flirtatious women that wants to get frisky. It's an ego thing I'd guess.... (read in full...)
My friend has breasts like a lady! Is this normal?
Q. Hi Can anybody help me? i know a guy whose got breasts like a lady's and he was asking me why is his left breast bigger than the right one and is it normal? I hope to hear soon. He's so worried. Can anybody help?...
A. 16 December 2011: Then ask him if it's normal for one testicle to hang lower than the other two(Lol).... (read in full...)
Does he know the pain I go through when I know he's looking at porn?
Q. Hi, Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year now and we have always had sex reguarly, its never been the same there was also something to spice it up everytime. But recently within the past few months maybe he would reject hav...
A. 16 December 2011: My sense is he has no idea that it hurts you or anyone else. Men9me included) annot understand the dimay that women feel over watching others on the computer .It is after all just vapor(pixals accross a scree). It's not as if we actually touch ... (read in full...)
I unfriended an ex on Facebook, and I just added him again. Now its awkward!
Q. I dated Mr T for a short time and he ended things. We were friends first through work. I've carried a torch for years btw it hurt a lot when he ended it so I defriended him in FB not to hurt him but for the following reasons, to: Keep me from spy...
A. 14 December 2011: allow me to rant briefly...facebook is no way to comunicate feelings. it's a dumb social media device for lonely people to 'think" they have friends. try face-to face conversations or even email.... (read in full...)
Premature ejaculation with a handjob!
Q. My boy friend is 18 years old. When I give him a hand job, he ejaculates within 2 minutes, sometimes in a minute. How can I stop his quick ejaculation? Should I squeeze his balls? I did it once, he said it hurt. Do you think it will work if I put my ...
A. 14 December 2011: Slow and steady is the best...He neds to deny himself when he masterbates. that will extend the times you two have together. Self denial is an art.practicepractice practice. NEVER squeeze his nuts that could cause real pain and damage.... (read in full...)
My asexual husband!
Q. My husband went to the doctor with his erection problems, and the doctor suggested it, that the cause of his impotence, psychological./ Because all his medical tests were fine. Also, he have night erections. He is totally asexual in the moment, at ...
A. 13 December 2011: What happened two years ago to prompt this? If it's all in his head, then it would seem that a trauma caused this? Then too, sometimes we just go "blank" with regards to sex. It can be over-rated at times.... (read in full...)
Link between the amout of sex and his porn use?
Q. my boyfriend watches porn without me should i be worried? We went fom having sex 2 or 3 times a day to once a week if i am lucky....
A. 13 December 2011: You are the exception to the norm, most women I know would love to find a way to reduce the number of times her man wants sex.... (read in full...)
Sexual issues... my bf doesn't get hard!
Q. This is a question for the guys, girls feel free to answer My question is, I'm dating this new guy, and his not like my other boyfriends, they were hard ...but this guy...he won't even get a hard wen we sit and I put my hand in his pants and ru...
A. 12 December 2011: We are all "wired" different. some folks ONLY get stiff after "going down" on the girl. We are all different.just keep trying different things.... (read in full...)
How can I please him sexually without sex?
Q. Ok another question for the guys..girls feel free to answer How do you sexually please a guy without having sex? And yes you will all say hand job and blowjob...but can I have more detail please...see this guy he doesn't show any emotion or pleas...
A. 12 December 2011: Ask any man; a good strong and loving hand job is better than anything else except a BJ.... (read in full...)
My husband is saying hurtful comments about my weight! Help!
Q. I need help! I have only been married 1yr. Well next month will make it a year. We have been together 3years though. I am in the military and i am currently deployed. I work out a lot to keep stress down, and to give myself something to do. My ...
A. 12 December 2011: IF your body image is THE factor in a marraiage weather small or large then it's not really about love it's about fantasy or something else. He is probably in love with an image but I would doubt it's you. i'd think reevaluation is an option since ... (read in full...)
14 and pregnant, mom doesn't know yet. What do I do?
Q. okay so i'm 14 and pregnant i don't know what to do. i really want to keep my baby because it is my baby. i turn 15 the same week i become 15 weeks pregnant..my boyfriend knows and he wants to keep the baby too..i don't know what we should do, i've ...
A. 6 December 2011: Firstly and most importantly BRAVO for wanting to keep your baby!secondly tell your mom it won't be as bad as you think... (read in full...)
Attracted to a Step-Cousin. Is this wrong?
Q. Is wanting to have sex with my step cousin wrong? she's my dad's step brother's kid, so we've been cousins our whole life, and have always got along, able to talk for hours. now she lives in my city for med school. she isn't some distant relative...
A. 6 December 2011: You're good as long as petty family gosip doesn't get in the way... (read in full...)
How did you move on from a broken heart?
Q. Hi guys, i just dont know what to do. I am still heartbroken nearly 2 years down the line. I have tried to get over him. No contact, going out with friends. Pampering myself you know all these things, and yet I have a great empty hole in the pit of ...
A. 6 December 2011: It was 50 years ago when my first love dumped me over the phone. The ache is still there. sorry no good news or magic elixer. There is Voldka though and that helped for a while.... (read in full...)
I don't have much experience but I think I get more turned on by affection and romance. Should I tell my Bf how I feel?
Q. I'm with my first boyfriend and not very experienced. To me his penis looks really small when he is lying down and not erect, but his erection is a good size. He thinks me looking at him naked (without erection) should turn me on but I just find ...
A. 6 December 2011: Yes he should be warned so he'll not be led on to believe you are interested at all in him.... (read in full...)
I'm falling for this guy! Is he just being dirty or does he like me?
Q. I have been in college since September. When I started I use to notice a guy in my class always looking at me and we never really spoke to each other until about 3 weeks into the course. He's very flirtatious to me. He is with some of the other gi...
A. 5 December 2011: I don't know I don't talk dirty to someone I'm trying to impress...But that's just me I knew a guy once that could not finish a sentence without dropping the "F bomb" somewhere in in and he didn't care who he was around.Just a dumb habit?(maybe) I ... (read in full...)
Why do guys think it is ok to kiss women they have only just met?
Q. Am i strange, or do other people think the same as me ?. I hate it when i go out to bars and a guy who i have only just met expects me to kiss him, especially if he tries to force me to kiss him, by grabbing me or holding my face or something. And i ...
A. 5 December 2011: The guys trying for the kiss are the strange ones-they don't know you but act like they do..that's pretty darn presumptuious if you ask me(and you did). I'd be pretty offended as a man if some strange women came up and planted one on me(as IF)!... (read in full...)
My girlfriend was my best friends "booty call". How do I get over this?
Q. My girlfriend of about 5 months now slept with my best friend two years ago - multiple times. I know this shouldn't bother me, but the fact that I know her past, and how she was (sleeping around/being a 'booty call'), has me skeptical. I have been ...
A. 2 December 2011: I met several of my wife's previous "lovers" and feel sympathy for your feelings but depending on how well she treats you in bed. you can put it to the back of your mind. It'll always be there so if you have troyble with it leave now befor it gets ... (read in full...)
How can I avoid sex in a loveless marriage?
Q. Is it possible to stay married, not be love and avoid sex with husband all the time? Is there anyone here who has been in this situation? Please share your views and experience to help me. Many thanks.....
A. 2 December 2011: I don't know why not. mine did for 47 years so far.... (read in full...)
How do I stop this "daddy complex"?
Q. right im in a bit of a situation i seem to have developed a bit of a 'daddy complex' and i dont know how to stop it. im 16 and to be honest i dont have the best relationship with my dad ( whihc i believe contributes to this ) but all the men i fa...
A. 2 December 2011: See a shrink, otherwise you'll end up with an older man that will abuse your self-esteem and end up dieing on you before you're 50.... (read in full...)
Ex wants to try again but how can I after I seen what turns him on?
Q. Hi everyone, could do with some strong advice before i cry. I split up with my boyfriend a few days ago as i caught him lying to me. He moved out and i stopped all contact. Then thismorning he sent me an email and when i went to reply i found an...
A. 2 December 2011: If you EVER feel threatened or afraid or sick of a man leave him right away befor it evolves into badness. your instincts are the survival guide to life.... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want sex anymore and her behaviour is odd, what is going on?
Q. i am a married guy, i am 34 yrs old i have 1yr baby. i have some problems i am working in bsnl as a casual labourer, my wife fights with me for small reasons e.g. when we go to bed if i touch her body she becomes angry, she tells me dont touch me ...
A. 2 December 2011: You're in trouble my friend. The short response is to run like the wind.... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as a "leg-fetish"?
Q. I understand the whole foot-fetish thing, but is there a specific fetish toward 'legs'? A female friend and I were discussing what we were in to and I told her I'm a sucker for a killer set of legs, which she said is a foot-fetish. However, I'm not ...
A. 2 December 2011: Not a fetish it's a normal longing to kiss your way up a perfect pair of legs..all the way up. Now that might evolve into a fetish but whatever... (read in full...)
Will our sexual spark come back, even in our 40s?
Q. My wife says Im too horny all the time and we are in our 40's and Im wondering when the sexual spark will return. I have waited for a long time for this but lately I am thinking she has lost hope and is not intrested in me anymore or sex for that ...
A. 2 December 2011: Having been 47 years in the SAME prediciment i must tell you that no, it's probably over. Once they stop, they begin to realize there's no need to re-start. She got what she needed years ago. Sorry, I know that's not what you needed to hear but i ... (read in full...)
Did he cheat or is it all in my head?
Q. hey everyone I have bi polar disorder and depression and anxiety issues and paranoia...(yeah I know its a big nice gift right?) anyways...I am engaged to my fiance (obviously thats why hes my fiance lol) but lets see...a few months back I found a ...
A. 2 December 2011: So, I have to assume it was not your wrapper. If so, you need to either have it out with him over it or leave this relationship before he just walks all over you for the rest of you life.... (read in full...)
Would it be better to not get married and disappoint our families?
Q. I am due to get married in three months. For the past two years I have been catching my soon to be wife in darting chat rooms. She has been clumsy and left things around,including guys phone numbers. I have never been able to get past this as she ...
A. 1 December 2011: THe families don't have to live your life! and it seems you do have to live your life...and...it looks like you'd be better off alone than under the thumb of a controller. I'd walk, no excuses, no explanation. it's your life you can live it if you ... (read in full...)
She just isn't tight anymore. Should I say anything?
Q. My wife of a decade years used to be extremely tight. I could barely push in to her. We have not had any kids and yet now when we have sex she feels very loose. There is almost no friction. It's hard to even get off sometimes because (pardon ...
A. 30 November 2011: Down south the saying goes."there's the big old good ones and then there's the good od big ones!" I can't personally imagine a complaint that goes along with coitus of any kind.... (read in full...)
Why do guys find it easy to orgasm, but many women never do?
Q. You always read about women having problems with this. Yet never any guys. Why is this? Is it because it's more taboo if a women does?...
A. 30 November 2011: I'm not convinced your premise is a valid one. I've not heard of the "problem" before now. I do know that women are much less sexual than men but not sure if that translates to the orgasm.... (read in full...)
Her sister saw us!
Q. We were and having sex in her bedroom when her older sister walked in on us. She stood there a while. When I got off she must have seen everyting. She then walked out. My gf was a little shy but I got a kick out. What do we say to her now?...
A. 30 November 2011: I'd ask the sis,"so, you get off on watching?"... (read in full...)
Do I go with the one I am more comfortable with but is less attractive ? Or the other guy who is opposite in every way?
Q. I'm in a bit of a mess and I don't know what to do - any help would be appreciated! There is a guy I like A, he is sweet, funny, smart ect. ect. We have known each other vaguely for a year or two but never really had conversations until a mutual f...
A. 20 November 2011: Let you heart guide you in emotional issues and let your reason guide you in practical issues.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't stop masturbating to porn!
Q. Dear Cupid, So a while ago, my boyfriend confessed to watching porn and said he would stop. He thinks it's a bad thing. A teeny bit recently, i told him how i felt about it and he said "sorry for doing that" and promised he'd stop again. Then...
A. 19 November 2011: It's pretty common for guys to get off to porn. He's not unusual so you may just have to get used to it.... (read in full...)
I met someone online but everyone is always concerned for my safety!
Q. I think it's terrible how a minority of wicked people can forever tarnish something which could be used for the good. I met the love of my life (and I'm not using those words lightly) online in August 2010. It wasn't a dating site, just one for ...
A. 19 November 2011: I know how you feel, the world is a dangerous place and it isn't fair to pre-judge everyone based on the actions of a few. In my day there was no computer connection..we had what they called pen pals and while I had a pretty flirtatious affair ... (read in full...)
I just don't want to be treated differently because of my gender
Q. hey all those who are there... im having a little issue with my partner at the moment... all my life i've been treated differently because i'm female and it really bugs me, i don't understand why all women are put under the same category like...
A. 19 November 2011: gender has nothing to do with it. It's all about self confidence which it sounds like you're a little short on. Might I suggest you take some cources like the Dal Carnegie Course?... (read in full...)
I dont' want to waste my time with the wrong man
Q. Hi I'm a single mum of 2 beautiful children under 5 and last September I met a wonderful man online. The relationship has been great, he's amazing with my children and I love him with all my heart...but I can't shake this feeling something isn't ...
A. 19 November 2011: seek help from your doctor then resume your quest for the "perfect man"(ps,there aren't any).... (read in full...)
How do I ride him successfully?
Q. hi everyone. my man wants us to try different positions and its exciting but my problem is how to be on top. we've tried it but l just can't do it, l feel so heavy like my body wont move up or down and its so bad, once in he'll slide out coz l ...
A. 19 November 2011: guys love her to be o top no matter how akward or slippery it gets. don't worry about refinement just get the best and give the best. look into his eyes if he's lovin' it stop your worry.... (read in full...)
He doesn't take care of me when I'm sick
Q. Something is bothering me a bit. I am currently very sick, and yesterday I was much worse. I was at my boyfriend's house when suddenly my symptoms got really bad. I begged him to drive to the winn dixie right next to his house to get me some ...
A. 19 November 2011: "In sickness and in health' or so goes the marraige vows..if he's a creep now he'll always be a creep-warning,warning-he's a creep!... (read in full...)
Could this be a sign of cheating?
Q. I am constantly flirting with my husband. I send him sexy text messages, I shower him with hugs and kisses. He very rarely sends any messages back to me, and I don't get the same affection in return. Is it possible that he is cheating on me?...
A. 18 November 2011: While anything's possible, I would tend to believe that he's just like the majority of us men(clueless when it comes to the subtle inuendos of relationships) What women percieve as "come-ons" many of us see as just being cute. A more frontal ... (read in full...)
My wife loves a 65 year old man!
Q. I'm 26, my wife's 26 also . we spend 3 years together Last night she said to me she had something to confess. I listened as she aadmitted to me she love some one a 65 -year-old man and that it was basically just she is crazy about him, and that 5h...
A. 17 November 2011: If you love her you'll let her go!... (read in full...)
I have gay thoughts when I masturbate to straight porn, what does this mean?
Q. Of late, when I masturbate, while watching straight porn, then gay thoughts also come into my mind which makes me confused and tense and don't feeling like enjoying it. Does it mean I am gay or bi-sexual or straight? or it happens with everyone...
A. 17 November 2011: It would be very unusual to not have wandering fantasy as part of the self excitation process since it is auto-sexual in nature. don' think about it, enjoy yourself.... (read in full...)
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