A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear aunts and uncles. I really could do with some advice. It is a long one, but bear with me, I need to get it all out to get the best advice and I really am at my wits end. So, I work in a small advertising company, I have been here just over a year (about 14 people) I am 37 and it took me a while to get a job/career that I could be proud of, previously I was in broadcast media or media recruitment etc. but never fully into this… so I blagged my way in and came in as an Account Manager on a not bad salary, I remember being very scared when I started as I felt I wouldn’t be able to do the job, like I would sink or get found out. When I started there were two associate directors that I worked under, I had 4 clients and there were two juniors under me (this was my team). The head of the company (founder/ MD/ CEO), who I will call TM, is a woman in her late 50’s and I thought was lovely, but think Devil Wears Prada boss! (well to me anyway as I will come on to) she is also very inspirational (She is remarkable) So, there I was and I seemed to be doing well. Then TM tells me that one of my associates is leaving and the other went and never came back from maternity leave and one of the juniors left. Rather than fret about it, I carried on and by January this year (4 months after being there) I had a new junior who moved from another team and was flying. In June I was given a £6k pay rise and promoted to senior account management (which did disappoint, as I feel I am doing the work of an account director) but she did give me a decent pay rise. She said felt I wasn’t good enough to be an AD!!! despite the fact I do the role as one!!! I would also like to add that from January, I have worked under TM only and was a point of call for her. In August we got a new junior to work alongside myself and the other one and I headed up the team of 3 and things were going well. We were new business galore and winning left right and centre. However, I felt that my old junior who had been with me since the beginning was not performing well. She was fine as junior, but we promoted her in July and since then she had not been performing. I flagged it with TM last month and it transpired the other girl who managed her also, spoke up and had same issues. Anyway after a long battle over the last month, the girl resigned. TM had to pay £3k in court fees, even though we did it the right way, followed all disciplinary procedures. She the junior also claimed I was bullying her, which there was no proof of and no believed I was (I was very supportive and had proof of that which sent to TM) So she leaves and it is just me and the other junior now and not only that, but I have gone from 4 clients to 10 now that I look after (all came on since I started), I know TM plans are to build up the business as much as possible and then in year or so sell it. The issue I have is that TM is very rude to me; she wasn’t rude to me at the start and is not like this to anyone else. There is a junior who is one below me (in terms of level) she is account manager, I am senior , we work on a few things together and TM will go to her as main head on them and talk to her about it, not me. TM is lovely to all the other girls, but she says things like ‘What do you want Madam’ or be rude to me on phone, all the other girls get X on message, not me though. She treats me differently and I don’t know what I have now done, as said wasn’t like that before, yes she has always been blunt and that character to me, but I feel so disheartened now, like she wants me gone. I fear that she will promote the other girl above me or get rid of me. We have the reviews in December and I am scared she will demote me, although my folks say she can’t do that unless reason and there is none, I do my job, despite fact I run the most clients and have the least help (everyone has teams of 3 and around 5 clients, me team of two with myself included and 10 clients) I just don’t know what to do, I spoke to someone here and they said that’s just her and that she knows you can take it, so takes it out on you and if she was unhappy, you would know about it!!! Do you think that’s true? It is me, or just the way she is and shouldn’t take it to her. The other girls are very quiet and posh, I am loud and slightly more common, so is it that, because of my nature she is like that, or does she just genuinely not like me and wants me gone. Before you say speak to her about it, she is not that sort of woman. Thanks so muchBK XX [Mod note: should be a UK flag) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2013): It could be anything really. She might feel threatened by your competence. Or she might not like your style of communicating, whatever that may be. Maybe she is insecure and feels comfortable only around very junior people, because she fears more senior workers like yourself can see through her BS.
Or it could be the problems I have with my boss. Like you I am he most senior on the team under my boss. I am the one who balls everyone out of crises and keeps everything running. Yet the boss is harder on me than anyone else. It could be because familiarity breeds contempt. The more your boss relies on you, the more you save your boss' ass, the less respect they have tor you because they take you for granted
If you feel really uncomfortable then you should leave the job. She is the boss she can do whatever she wants. She can demote you out of spite but give some BS reason like your current position is no longer needed. She can promote the junior girl over you and give some similar BS reason like the girl has specific skills you don't and then just not go into detail what that is.
Although I would think if your boss really dislikes you so much then why hasnt she got rid of you? Why instead did she give you any promotion at all? Could it be that you are just being over sensitive and insecure and misinterpreting things?
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 November 2013):
I wouldn't bother speaking to her anyway. I work for a man who is nuts. Totally, completely nuts. Even when you ask for his help, he takes pleasure in taking the p**s. He basically does it to hide the fact that he's incompetent.
Instead, since you're from the UK (according to the Moderator note at the bottom and the fact you used the £sign), I suggest you take a look at the following sites:
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ - they can offer free, face to face advice.
http://www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1461 ACAS - who do employment mediation etc, and can offer advice on bullying.
Then just log what she does, and if it gets too much, walk away and claim constructive dismissal.
And, if possible, look for another job.
I hope it gets better for you.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 November 2013):
 I would consult a to see if there are any circumstances that could be construed as beyond the scope or "unjust cause". Your situation is a great reminder to us all to document everything and keep an accurate journal whether we think it's needed or not. Good Luck
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