A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Female, 17. Soooo...there's this guy and we've been having sex on and off (no strings attached) for about a year and some change. I know he's having sex with other people...and I'm not. It kind of makes me jealous that he can just go around having sex with other girls and I can barely get him to talk to me sometimes. I know I don't like him..or maybe I do? I'm really confused about everything. My question is: should I break things off with him completely?
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 November 2013):
 It is very sad that sex has been pushed into a devalued set of definitions that don't include real tender love and commitment. I feel sad for all you 'kids'. malama pono(ggogle it)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 November 2013):
 I personally think that FWB/NSA belongs in the realm of divorced adults not teens or young 20 something adults. And I rarely think that young women are capable of being as detached as FWB/NSA calls for.
That being said, you are already in for a penny in for a pound so to speak.. we can’t close that barn door…
“I know I don’t like him… or maybe I do?” oh you DO… you would not ask or be jealous if you did not.
Your question… should I break things off with him… I vote for a resounding YES… make it so.
He’s using you for sex…. FRIENDS are not hard to get to talk to you.. he’s sleeping with anyone (and maybe anything) that puts out for him…
CUT IT OUT… the easiest thing for you to do is go NO contact…. Tell him that you are DONE having sex with him. (and MEAN IT.. there is nothing as sad as a person who can’t keep their word)…. He’ll disappear when you stop giving him sex.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 November 2013):
 I agree fully with iAmHereToHelpYou - casual sex, FWB is NOT for those really young and with little experience in relationship and all things sexually.
It's NOT for newbies so to speak. It numbs you to the thoughts and ideas that SEX with someone is an intimate experience where you share something physical on more then one level. It's not just vagina, penis, orgasm.
You don't need to "break things off" - you just need to tell him, I'm done with being your F-buddy. Then you STOP talking to him, stop texting, stop anything with him.
Auntie Daisy also brought up some really valid points:
1. your standards. Time to raise the roof. Casual and sex rarely works for women(and girls). Simply because the act makes us feel things about the other person. So Casual is rarely a good idea. Here is a the thing most girls you age don't always consider, GIRLS (not all, but some) have SEX to get LOVE. BOYS on the other hand will have SEX to have SEX. BIG BIG difference. This NSA dude doesn't have sex with you because he CARES, but because a hole, is a hole, is a hole.
2. STD's. If he is sleeping around, chances are the some of the girls he is sleeping with are ALSO sleeping around, which means EVERY SINGLE PERSON he has slept with and THEY have slept with, can transfer STD's to YOU! HPV doesn't affect guy in the same way it affect girls. You can't TEST a guy for it. IT SHOWS up if he/she has a break out or (if it's that kind) he/she get GENITAL warts (grossed out yet?) The MORE people you sleep with (and the more THEY sleep with) the BIGGER the chance of YOU getting it is exponentially larger. If you haven't already talk to your doctor about birth control AND HPV vaccine.
Stop being some dude's hole.
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A
male
reader, M Proops  +, writes (3 November 2013):
Jealousy is a sign you're developing emotional feelings for him.It's just sex for him,he's sowing his oats with as many different girls as he can.He's not for you,move on.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2013): "I'm really confused about everything."As previous anon male states, there's not much to be confused about. He's a horny guy who wants to get laid and you're a chick who puts out for him with no effort or expense required on his part. From a guy POV, that's a win-win."should I break things off with him completely?"What's there to break off? To him you're just another easy lay, nothing more, and that's all you'll ever be to him so it's a matter of you deciding whether you want to continue putting out or for him while getting nothing in return or not.I just hope you're taking precautions to prevent an unplanned, unwanted pregnancy because you are completely incapable of raising a child on your own.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy +, writes (2 November 2013):
 Yes you should break it off because you feel jealous and confused i.e. you are getting attached to him, through the process of having sex (yes it can happen even if you don't like the person).
Also if he's sleeping around, you are at higher risk of getting an STD (condoms break, some boys prefer not to use them, etc).
Give him the heave ho and up your standards - find a boy who doesn't mind the idea of 'strings' and exclusivity. Or just be single. 17 is v young to be exposed to all this.
Good luck x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2013): There isn't much to be confused about. It sounds like you are just a hole for him to stick himself into, nothing more than that as far as he's concerned. Either you are satisfied with being that or you're not.
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