A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend is so loving and affectionate and happy, he always says he just wants me to be happy too and we have good physical attraction. We laugh a lot and have fun and spend most of our free time together as we live together (his choice). I'm wondering why he feels the need to facebook stalk his exes and other girls (the same ones) he knows every few days.. They're not even pretty really, it's just confusing to me that he thinks about them or cares enough to look! I'm only jealous of one of his exes. She treated him terribly and he hates himself for being allowed to be treated like that. Apart from me though, she was his first real love but he's angry that she treated him so bad! So I worry he still has feelings even though he swears that it's about himself and not about her. He says that this relationship has gone the furthest than any other and that I'm special to him... We want marriage and have similar goals in life and he includes me in everything. I don't want to talk to him about it again because he hates that I'm so suspicious sometimes!!! Any advice to calm my nerves??!
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facebook, his ex, jealous, stalking Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (5 November 2013):
 You can solicite and read all the advice you want about "calming (your) nerves..."
However, the "bottom line" is that you are dating (and LIVING WITH!) a man-child who has not yet reached adulthood. The behaviour you've described is 'way out of place for a man who has a girlfriend (you!) who should be getting most/all of his attention.... but HE is taking valuable time and mental energy (from you, incidentally!) to act like a love-struck teenager who can't let go of his last girlfriend...
Give some serious consideration to breaking off with this guy... and going on and finding a true-blue boyfriend. You'll have a much better time with one like that (true-blue)..... I GUARANTEE IT!!!!!!
Good luck...
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (5 November 2013):
 FB is the hardest way to find anybody thst i know of so maybe he's not seriously hunting for them just ticking you off on purpose.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 November 2013):
I've looked up my exes on FB and it's just out of curiosity, not a desire to be with them. The truth is that they were friends, people that were important in your life at some point. And people look up friends on FB, so it seems similar to me.
I definitely haven't stalked anyone though. Just looked them up, seen what they were up to. If he's always doing it that's a little different.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 November 2013):
 Have you asking him?
WHY he feels a need to keep taps on the ex who treated him like shit?
For me, people who keep taps (as often as your BF) there has to be some unfinished business. Maybe he is hoping she will either get hit by the Karma bus or that she will apologize. I don't think he looks at the girls because they are "pretty" but because they impacted him in one way or another.
If this bothers you, you should talk to him about it.
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