A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in relationship with this guy for 8 months( we are same age),and I always knew he likes older women witch i think its normal,but recently I find out he was watching porn mother son type ,where guy is seduce by his mother while dad is at work and all that kind of stuff.He is close with his mother but I dont know should i be worried about this coz porn hes been watching its really weird and reading all stories where he have sex with his mother and all kind of stuff..I don't know should i talk to him about it but I dont want him to find out Ive been looking his history on his computer.pls give me advice or should i try to trick him somehow to find out more ???
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2013): I am a 20 year old female who also will occasionally look at incest porn.
It is in no way a 'real-life' desire/turn-on.
Simply, vanilla porn gets boring.
I would not worry about it at all.
A
female
reader, Bazinga  +, writes (7 November 2013):
 Jeez, I don't know I doubt very much he wants to bone his mother. Sometimes on porn sites its the highest rated videos that are watched or what is on the front page of the site. Talk to him about it and ask what is his preference, I'm sure if you asked him " are you attracted to your mother?" he would be repulsed and freaked out you asked.
Best advise can offer is to just speak with him or if you cannot bring yourself to do it, send him an email might be easier to write down your feelings to him. Best of luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): hmm it depends on what you have found I must admit I search for mom/son porn not because of the incest as I find that gross but that is the only way to find a young guy sleeping with a mature woman which I like to see and 99% of the time its never really a mom and son together...luckily!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (6 November 2013):
 One thing would be liking to watch mature women or MILF's but mom/son porn? Gross.
Sorry, there is no way I could move past that.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 November 2013):
 Yuk! even I won't dwell on mom porn for more than a few minutes.the only "defense" for him I can conjure up is mature women are sexy as long as it's someone else's mom.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): That is all I would need to know about your boyfriend.
I wouldn't be sticking around to find out anymore about him and his sick voyeurism fantasies.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 November 2013):
 I don't think there's any point in asking him if the idea of incest turns him on- it obviously does !, otherwise he would not be repeatedly checking out incest porn.
It is true that fantasy is one thing and real life all another, and what turns you on in theory, more often than not, you'd never ever do it , or actually WANT to do it, in real life . I am pretty sure that his real life relationship with his mom is normal, healthy and respectful. It's just that our subconscious mind is like a dark, smelly cellar, full of weird, misshapen, embarassing stuff which we have no use for in our regular life upstairs.
Said that- this is theory, in practice I understand very well that you may feel upset/ appalled.
Once I found out that my partner had very vivid rape fantasies, and the idea of violence on women was a sexual turn on for him. I could not wrap my head around it- he was a very normal guy, in fact he was a very sweet, mellow type But... from that day on, I saw him with different eyes - to me there was a huge chink in his shining armour. I understood that it was not his fault if he had a certain mental imagery which was out of his conscious control. Then again, neither was my fault if I feel no attraction and no respect for people whose mind works that way . I am not saying that it ended BECAUSE of his ( very private ) fantasies, but from then on it was all downhill, because ... he had become a different person in my eyes.
I think there's no ready made answer to your quandary , I guess it depends from who you are and what you feel.
If you can take the rational , " scientific " approach ( your guy is not responsible for the dredges of his subconscious, and the fact that he keeps weird stuff in his cellar does not prevent him from being an upstanding partner in his daily life ) then it's all good, I would not even bring this up for discussion, just try to forget about it and accept that probably everybody has some little skeleton in their mental closet.
If you can't take this dispassionate appoach, and you feel something akin to revulsion or disgust for his " dark side "- there's not much to do, you feel what you feel, and there's no reasoning against something that totally creepes you out, - you feel what you feel. So maybe you should consider if you can and SHOULD stay with him. Because even if you ask him to stop looking at incest porn ( and he does stop, which is not a given ), so what ? You'd still know what he thinks to turn himself on , what floats his boat sexually.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): I think you should come clean about looking at the history in his computer. You were in the wrong for that, and it warrants an apology for invading his privacy. Why were you looking in the first place? Were you suspicious of something? What prompted it? I guess you could say something like, "Barney, I'm sorry that I did it, but I checked the history on your computer. There's no excuse for that and I'll never do it again. However, I found some things that disturb me and I'd like to hear your side on that one." Yeah, he'll probably be pissed and try to redirect the conversation on your nosiness rather than his porn fetishes, but he really doesn't owe you anything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): I strongly doubt that this is a real-world turn-on for him. Sometimes you just go for an extreme taboo. And probably feel a bit ill afterward. If you can forget about it, do, because trying to explore it will likely lead to problems. Before the internet people could imagine whatever 'out-there' thing they wanted to get off, and no one could ever know. When there's a record in the browser history, those same deep dark thoughts that you'd never in a million years act on can become known. His reaction to the question will either be denial or deep, deep shame.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2013): I don't think that someones's choice in porn is necessarily indicative of their true desires. Otherwise far more men would profess being into into gay sex, shemail sex and rape. It could be more that he's more into "the forbidden" hence his choice in porn (This is the route that many porn addicts find themselves taking)
However, I'd be feeling the same discomort as you are now if it had happened to me. Let's see what others have to say on the matter.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2013): well, you're in a bit of a bind.You either confess that you snooped / accidentally found the site when you were searching for another site you couldn't remember... And then ask him if the idea of incest turns him on. If you take this route, I would recommend you act absolutely innocent ie. you stumbled upon this and you are were so surprised by the hyperlink title that you got curious and clicked on it too. If you confess or if you look like you're lying he will think you don't trust him... Which is probably true if you are snooping.Or you could keep quiet about it, since ill gotten evidence is inadmissible in court and all that malarkey. But it will eat you inside because you will second guess his every thought and motive. You'll start to wonder if you really know him.
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