A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm going on a date with a guy who is 8 years older than me.He's 26 and I'm 18. People keep telling me to be more careful and to watch out because he's a lot smoother at manipulation and it'll be easier for him to persuade me to do things. But I don't think he's that kind of guy. They believe it'll be easier for him to cloud my judgment and take advantage of me. Whatever the case, any advice on how I should handle this date and what to look out for? How should I present myself, things like that.. I have a week and I want to come Correct .. Help ? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (21 November 2013):
 Age really doesn't make a difference, what does is how vulnerable you are to being manipulated and such. I have seen girls your age who have been easily persuaded to do things they may not otherwise choose to do, just as I have seen women in their thirties do the same. The similarities between the two are their lower self esteem. That isn't to say that two people who are consensual into dong things is necessarily wrong, but it is more wrong [in my view] when someone consents because they view the physical act will make them feel better about themselves.
Be true to who you are and what you want to experience with someone. As long as you do, you'll be someone who cannot be manipulated into doing things that contradicts who you are as an individual.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2013): Hi, you seem to have your head straight, just don't lose your heart to him yet until you know he can be trusted. I was about your age and dated a guy 8 years older than me. He broke my heart and trust.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo I do not live with my parents. We do have the same music interest and I know people that know him they say he's a good Guy, he's only been in 2 relationships in which one he became intimate but other than that he hasn't. I told him I was a virgin and choose to remain one until on married or inlove. He says he desires the same but I know men say anything ... I try not to be so naive.Thanks for the advice. I'm very shy and I can't really just start a conversation like that so I'm just wondering what to say Yes I'm aware of the games he could be playing I don't think he's like thaty but then again. I wont rule anything out. Thanks a lot.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 November 2013):
 He may very well be "that kind of guy" the key is that you are NOT that kind of a girl (posting here says that)
just be yourself and be cool and calm and understand that a MAN of 26 has NEEDS that a young woman of 18 could fill very easily.... DO not be persuaded that it's what "adults" do.
26 to 18 is a big gap 30 to 38 not so much....
just note that if you are still in school, he can probably only relate based on his MEMORIES and what was popular 8 years ago in school is not what's going on now.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 November 2013):
 Point one: he won't be able to relate to our likes in music or movies so skip all those kinds of topics otherwise it'll seem like you are from different planets.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2013): I think age is just a number. If a guy is a a**, he is an a** and that has nothing to do with age.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2013): I'm 23 and my boyfriend is 31 so eight years as well, and I sometimes find the age gap hard because he has more life experience... But I love him more than I've ever loved anyone and he treats me so much better than anyone my age ever has. As everyone else has said, keep your guard up and treat him with caution, he IS quite a bit older than you. Definitely take things very slowly until you know him better. However, in my head, 23 and 31 sounds WORSE than 18 and 26 haha... But not as bad as 13 and 21!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2013): He's probably a lovely guy but guys at 26 have way more life experience, so even though at 18 you're and adult and (hopefully!) mature this guy has used all the lines and will also possibly be expecting more than you might be willing to give. Just tread carefully, don't wear your heart on your sleeve and use your head before your heart! If you don't want to do anything say no and stick to your boundaries.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 November 2013):
 Do you live with your parents?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 November 2013):
 You write: "But I don't think he's that kind of guy."
Please note, that the people in Germany, in the 1930's, didn't think that Adolph Hitler was "... that kind of guy.."
Keep your eyes open and your sensibilities on-guard. A guy this much older (than you) has a decided advantage in dealing with you....
Good luck....
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